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Yes, I think that's exactly what it is. After all, we're the ones who chose to go off and leave them behind, so (whether it's conscious or not) they feel it's up to us to do the keeping in touch, not them. When we left, we left a hole in their lives, but they've filled that hole up long ago -- they've had to.

My charges may be exuberant, but they certainly aren’t exorbitant…

I tend to agree. If we didn't visit I don't think my siblings would see each other. We see them all and we bring them together.

It is the airline he has to convince. They have no obligation to fly undocumented passengers. They also seem to be tightening up on this.

In line with what Cal says, if you think the assessment process is expensive, you'll probably be sick to the stomach when you work out the full cost of migrating.

One agent answered above. Unfortunately a skills test and language test is needed for lots of visa's and to be fair thats only a snippet of cost compared to the whole migration journey. Cal x

Yh i got everything except primary documents. got some advice from the ATO & Home affairs & applied for an Immicard so i can get a tax file number & can get my citizenship & passport along the way so eveyrhting is gouing well thanks to eveyrone pointing me in the right direction

The last place I worked in Australia had a team of people highly skilled in their field, we were all well-respected for our roles in a niche area of public service, but over the years several people moved on and younger ones joined, with a very different work ethic - usually just "do the job and do home" with no intention of going the extra mile like those of us who'd been there upwards of 10 years. In 2020 one of my colleagues decided to retire for personal reasons. Whilst the bosses were interviewing for a replacement, this statement was overheard by a colleague in another area - "Make sure you employ someone young, we've only got 3 dinosaurs to get rid of now and that shouldn't be too hard." Said "dinosaurs" were me and 2 Aussies guys, all aged in our late 50s. We all kept our ears to the ground after that, and it soon became clear that the department was doing its best to edge us out by any means, fair or foul. Nothing to do with a lack of skills, we were the ones teaching the skills to the newbies. All to do with poorly-disguised ageism.

In the early days when it was all new and we were finding our way there were regular phone calls, emails and visits. But as life settled down I think we all adjusted to a different sense of normality. Visits were still looked forward to but not quite so intensely, phone calls and emails were appreciated but not sent or received as often. Living on the periphery of each other's lives changed the dynamic. That doesn't mean that we care less about the people who moved away, just that the gap created by absent family and friends has been smoothed over as everyone gets on with day to day life. Tx

I sometimes wonder if they think because you are in Australia, you are on holiday so have more time than them or that you are the one with all the “news”? Rather than you are living a life of work, putting the bins out and ferrying children to sport just like them. I have found the same in both directions. When I moved to Australia people all gave me their email addresses and I duly emailed, not a single one replied. one did when I sent a ranty email asking if they were receiving my emails and they literally sent “yes” back to me. Gave it up then. Coming in the opposite direction years later pretty much the same thing. So I assume out of sight, out of mind and as others have said, I moved so therefore it’s on me to make the effort. Luckily I don’t get that attached to people, so I move on quite easily. I did visit the uk and not tell anyone once, so had a lovely holiday that didn’t revolve around seeing family. But I have an incredibly fractured relationship with my family, so not hard…..

That makes the need for a passport or at least proof of citizenship stronger, he is effectively an Australian tourist with no right to abode or residency; unless he can prove citizenship or has a valid visa.

My rellies and friends are scattered all over the UK - from the north of Scotland right down to the south of England. I used to try to travel to see many of them but later on it was easier if we met up half way. One of my oldest friends who migrated to the US many years ago came over to the UK for a visit most times I was there which was lovely.

I’ve not lived in UK for 30 years, but did visit annually for about 3 months before COVID as our only grandchildren are there. We are made very welcome by our friends to visit them, but I think there is a different mindset in England. We usually rent somewhere big enough for people to stay with us, but most prefer to stay home, I think genuinely want us to visit, but perhaps don’t realise how much driving around we then to catching up with everyone? There is the long standing expat joke about visiting UK, when you try to arrange a visit, they are looking forward to seeing you, BUT! Mondays out because I do the washing , can’t make Tuesday because I get my hair done, Wednesday I’m at bingo, Friday I do the shopping, etc etc, and it’s true to a certain extent, as many are set in their ways, happy to see you, as long as it fits into their life. Having written the above, we love catching up with everyone, we always stay with friends in our old village, we have a wonderful time there, a great pub lunch is always arranged so we can see lots of our old friends, and we accept that we do the travelling, as rekindling old friendships is worth every mile travelled.

I think most of this is pretty common, we made the decision to move as far away as physically possible from them and yet we expect them to roll out the red carpet when we say "on I'm visiting in 3 months". Have you considered that maybe your sister had already booked (or promised) to go on that trip before you made your announcement. Maybe she really wants to see you but can't disappoint the people who are there for her every day (rather than sis who breezes in once every 5 years - or whatever the time is)? She might be gutted but doesn't want to admit it ...

No siblings but I've always found that people bend over backwards to try and get together. I'm planning a visit in a couple of weeks and I've been invited to stay by most of my friends. Those I can't get to are willing to come and see me or meet half way. I tend to go and visit them because I want to get about the country and see /do as much as I can.

Why not just apply for a UK passport and then many other things will be easier. You don’t have to apply for citizenship, you already are a citizen. Why can you not open a bank account? That’s nothing to do with being British, Australian or anything else. You’ll need identification (you have your Australian passport) and you’ll need evidence of your address. Ask your grandparent to phone up one of their utility suppliers (BT/Gas/Electric etc) and add you to their bill. Then they need to ask for a bill to be sent out to them and it will include your name. There you have it, your proof of address. Just google how to find my NHS number or even ask a local doctors surgery if they know how. Not sure what you mean regarding your driving license. A birth certificate is not evidence of identity. It states that on it. Good to have though and hopefully your mum still has yours. If not, easy to get a replacement. Local registers will help although probably all done online now so that’s another easy google search. Add how to get a NI number to your google list. I don’t think you have trouble, you just need to work through a simple tick list to get all what you need. Write a list and tick it off as you get it sorted. Good luck.

The UK doesn't, England and Wales do, Scotland doesn't.

During my years as an expat, our youngest went to school in England, while the older 2 were in university. Honestly it’s the last thing I would recommend to leave a child in England for schooling away from family unless there is no option. in our case there was no schooling available after age 14. The amount of times I had to cope with problems long distance were very difficult, and emotional, and I was in the lucky situation that I could fly back very cheaply, and had a house there. We missed so much precious time with our daughter during those year’s spending most of the year apart, our sons were much older and established at university, so wasn’t as hard for them. If staying at a local school, who will they live with full time and take responsibility for them? should have a guardian under a certain age. If at boarding school who will they stay with at half terms and be responsible for making the arrangements for their long haul flights. Factor in the cost of the emotional side to lack of family and support at a vulnerable age. the cost of fares at peak holiday times, and how confident is the child travelling long distance on their own. What’s more important? UK exams, or moving to Australia and being with your family, and entering the schooling system here.

Except two years with her family!! My daughter came over at 16, did a couple of months of year 10, then 11 and 12. She's now just finished a double degree so she was fine. PS. You don't do A levels in the UK, just parts of it.

So I'm putting it out there. Saw the discussion around the Ponds in Western Sydney. If this was my only option in Sydney I'd leave Sydney. If this was my only option in Australia I'd leave Australia. Why would people saddle themselves with a 30 year mortgage to live here 45km from the beach? There's less space than what's afforded to livestock. It makes me so sad

Pretty much since I came out with my parents when I was 12. I never identified with Australia, Australians or the Australian way of life - always felt alien to all that. Twelve was a very formative age for me and I was just starting to come into my own when they decided to immigrate. Immigrating stuffed me over no end for a long time but I never lost that sense of 'home' and have been trying to get back and resettle ever since - trouble is circumstances and the old comparison game kicked in and I ended up returning to Oz. I'm now 60 and my Mum is 83 (she lives in the UK) and the clock's ticking so I'm feeling the pinch more than ever to relocate and establish myself back home. I'm in the planning phase now (getting everything in order etc) to relocate back next year.

Yes, the probability of encountering spiders and snakes is higher in more rural areas. But, no, parents don't go out and check for spiders first. You - and that includes children - learn to keep alert and take precautions ie. where not to put hands and feet without checking first, not leaving shoes/boots outside the door without checking before putting them on, keeping areas clear of habitat which might be attractive to unwanted beasties..

In terms of drugs, Geelong is certainly not without problems in an Australian viewpoint, but if you apply a level of relatively to UK/Ireland then it's an absolute haven of purity. One thing you might want to consider (given you said teaching about 82 genders was bad) is that Melbourne (and VIC) as a whole is - to use the modern vernacular - quite possibly the "wokest" city in the world (which I see as a good thing). However if this is a potential problem for you the openness and anything goes nature of Melbourne might be a difficult one to get over. Remember that Melbourne as a city is 5m people and Ireland as a country is only 6.4m - so it's going to feel big. (Geelong is basically the size of Cork). As everyone else has said what I think you mean by rural is certainly more than an hour rush hour driving from Melbourne City. 200k is basically about 10.5k per month after tax etc. So the answer to is this livable depends on your needs, if you are renting that is going to be around 3k per month for a 3 bed house most places, buying is expensive (and unless you can buy cash will generally require you to get through probation first before being allowed a mortgage).

How long is a piece of string? That's going to be down to your lifestyle, as much as anything. $200k would be a palatial income for some, it'd barely cut it for others. Personally, I think it's a pretty darned strong number. Where you're going to have a bit of an issue is something "rural" an hour from Melbourne, if you're thinking of that being a commuting time during rush hour. I used to live in Caulfield South and it would regularly take 50 minutes to drive into the CBD at 7am. At 7pm, less than 15 minutes. You might want to look around Lilydale and such areas in the Eastern Suburbs if you want something that's a bit more countryside. But it'll hardly be rural. Last I checked, it was only 71 genders. As for drugs, you'll get those sorts of problems all over the world. Western suburbs can be particularly prone to things like ice, but you have to balance it out with the coke heads in Brighton.

As someone who attended university in the UK and has worked in an Australian uni for the last decade I'd 100% take the UK university experience over an Australian one. Whilst I'm sure the level of education is comparable, the fact that in the UK pretty much everyone leaves home to go to uni makes the experience many times richer, more character-building and more fun than simply commuting to your local uni in Oz whilst living with your parents and not really changing your life in any other way. I guess if they go back to Oz alone then they'll be more likely to go to a uni that isn't in their home city but, even then, it's just not the same as in the UK as all of their classmates will just disappear after lectures and go home. Plus, with a significant proportion of teaching still being done online these days, they might not have much of a university experience at all. Even if they're not big party people, the experience of living in halls with hundreds of other people in the same boat is pretty special. Campus life in Australia is just tumbleweeds compared to in countries where people typically leave home for uni.

Then they have lied on their application forms … you are asked if you have other citizenships and what they are. Australia is not available from that drop-down box.

There was nothing wrong with my skills and I did very well, thank you. Fortunately never out of a job but the experience of many of my acquaintance was that over 50 was over the hill for finding a new role. The retirement age has diddly squat to do with it - I know quite a few who had to engage retirement well before they wanted to. Currently supporting a lady in her mid 50s trying to get back into work - previous public service history, had to quit to care for her sick mother. Now no mother and not much money - skills perfectly fine, aiming for positions well below her capacity - crickets. It's always much easier to get a new job when you're in a job. Like Marisa I was surprised to be offered 3 jobs - 2 of them skill based and one because I was a nice friendly person - without applying for any back in UK - where I didn't want to work anyway. The DH was only offered a couple!

What does retirement age have to do with it? We're not talking about people already in a job. We're talking about people who are trying to find a NEW job in their 60s. It's nice to hear that in your field, there is a better attitude, but I can assure you that in many occupations in Australia, ageism is still widespread. I worked in a male-dominated field so I had already done well to achieve success, and I had a great track record and stellar references. But when I was trying to find a new job at 56, i was told by two recruitment agencies that I stood no chance because (although they'd never put it in writing), all their big clients had an upper age limit of 50 for candidates. That was a few years ago now, but I am told by ex-colleagues that it hasn't changed. It's highly insulting of you to imply that because I, Quoll and several of our acquaintances have encountered age discrimination, it must be because we were unskilled or bad at our jobs. What a horrible thing to suggest. I am offended. https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/older-people/older-australians/contents/justice-and-safety https://www.dewr.gov.au/newsroom/articles/ageism-awareness-workplace

Weather and lifestyle huh? For me, the weather isnt better - I like to walk and in the summer here I do not like having to get up at 5 to walk otherwise be burnt to a crisp. In the winter it is OK because I can layer up. When it rains, IT BLOODY RAINS - none of your nice gentle mizzly stuff and you will be drenched within a few minutes. I am also one of the ones who gets SAD with relentless blue skies, especially when you are in the middle of a drought when you PRAY for rain, the more torrential the better! (Yes, blue sky SAD is a real thing! cured only by skies broken with clouds!). But Australia is a huge place and the weather is as variable as can be - from almost arctic (that's a joke, Tasmania!) to tropical and all stops in between. Some places have standard seasons, some dont. Flies - I hope you like flies, they attract themselves to every orifice they can see and their intent is to penetrate every one - with buzzy noise accompaniments. Lifestyle - hmm, is that the old work life balance thing? or is it the inclination to have a barbie every weekend with the flies and their mates, the mozzies? Of course there will be places you can go which dont have flies but whether that's where you might want to live - in a huge expensive city - is up to you. As for the work/life balance, that was never better for our family - both of us worked well over the 40 hours a week we were paid for, back in the day, and so, yes, we might have been numpties but we needed the jobs and the jobs needed doing. You might struggle with just 4 weeks rec leave a year though. Bottom line though, you have to be old/young enough and skilled enough to get a visa so that might be your first hurdle.

yep more info is required for sure on their circumstances For us moving to Hobart in 2017 presented a huge increase in quality of life from an inner city deprived area in the UK commuting an hour a day to living at the beach less than 5 minutes from work. But even since 2017 its all changed and we wouldn't be able to do the same move in 2024. People would say Tassie has the worst weather of all states but we love it. Its cold in winter but lots of clear days unlike the greyness of the uk Which state are you thinking, what job etc

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone involved with Poms. The creators, the moderators and all the people who post their stories, personal feelings and opinions. I moved (by myself) to Australia in 2004 and at times felt different, isolated and out of place, but all your posts with such honesty have given me comfort that I'm not the only person who feels this way. I'm contemplating a move back to the UK when my Australian son finishes school and interestingly my Australian husband is the main driver for this to happen. I've not been back for 7 yrs so overdue a trip to visit family and see how things have changed over there. I thought after following this site for so long i should actually get involved

Judging by the recent rise in people posting here, saying they're desperate to get out of the UK, you'll find things are not what they were. However, I'm sure you also realise that's not the point. Some people are nomads. Anywhere they choose to live can be 'home'. It's not a rational thing, it's just the way they're made. And it never really changes. Other people are deeply attached to their homeland. It's not a rational, logical thing, it's just the way they're made. And it never really changes. If you're that second kind of person, Australia could be a paradise and your homeland an absolute dump, and you'll still be happier in your homeland.

So the official list is at https://immi.homeaffairs.gov.au/visas/working-in-australia/skill-occupation-list . You could also take a browse through https://www.anzscosearch.com/search/ which allows you to search more broadly and gives an idea of demand for certain roles. I'm a volunteer firefighter and work semi-regulalry with Fire+Rescue NSW so know them and the processes pretty well. Entry as a FireFighter is hyper competitive, annual recruitment round with the usual fitness and aptitude tests, interviews and so on but they have thousands of applicants for dozens of roles. As such there is no 'economic demand' for migrants to fill the job, it is popular enough that plenty of Aussies will do it. That said if you are more senior or were qualified to do managerial or strategic roles there might be other options where your UK experience would set you apart but securing a visa would be virtually impossible, even if you could find an employer. Your secondary skills might give you a better chance. Medical qualifications are in high demand so if you are a qualified Paramedic that would be a strong draw for an potential sponsoring employer. Truck Drivers are eligible for DAMA and under that you would have a pathway to perm residence. Age is much less of a hurdle there as well. Again the issue would be proving that you are a genuine and professional truck driver. As you know being a firefighter who drives a fire truck isn't the same as being a truckie who drives 8 hours a day and deals with all of the rigmarole around loads, fatigue regs and the like. Your best bet is to have a consult with a Migration Agent, see if your skills would match up and go from there

The 187 was closed to new applicants in 2019, unless they were in a transition stream, which the OP is clearly not.

@jessi, check realestate.com.au for house prices, and be aware that real estate agents here are crooks -- they shamelessly photoshop the images they post online, so always assume that the photos look better/bigger than the real thing. Also bear in mind there are good areas and bad areas in every town and city, so if you see something that's unusually cheap, it's because it's in a bad suburb. Homely.com.au can help you check that out with their suburb reviews: https://www.homely.com.au/find-places

Plenty of countryside within the same distance as Geelong. Look at the stops along the Ballarat or Bendigo railway lines. Alternatively check out the Dandenong mountains (not to be confused with Dandenong the suburb). However as BendigoBoy says, if you mean "an hour's drive from the centre of Melbourne at peak hour", then there's nowhere rural within that area. You'd still be in the Melbourne suburbs. Melbourne is a sprawling city. Your oh could certainly get from Geelong to Melbourne in about an hour on the train, but driving in rush hour, it could easily be 2 hours. If you go to Google Maps, you can check out driving distances at different times of day by choosing "directions" and selecting the day and time you want to travel.

Last two engineers I hired, I just couldn't tolerate the arrogance of the younger folk that were sat in front of me (let alone the absurd salaries they were asking). Both of the successful applicants were a good few years older than me, had experience I could only dream of, and have been nothing less than stellar performers. Sadly, this is - in my experience - still an unusual situation in the Australian tech sector. Which is all the more insane given the number of younglings that go into the field only to burn out or quit after five years because they realise how much hard work is actually involved. Give me a dyed in the wool expert any day of the week over an uppity upstart.

Sounds very similar to my experience. Bring in the newbies who last 5 minutes, whilst those with the knowledge and experience get sidelined

slowly getting there should be alright though got some good advice from the ATO & homeaffairs but yh they did say it's a rough situation

That's because different solutions suit different situations. The easiest option is "bring hardly anything" but it will cost you by far the most, in the long run. As you're discovering, you'll get peanuts for your existing stuff, and you'll have to replace all of it in Australia. In the short term, you can keep the cost of replacement down by buying second-hand, but in the long run, you'll give the second-hand stuff away and buy 'proper' furniture, so overall, you'll end up shelling out more As Lavers says, sit down and do a pretend shop at Harveynorman.com.au. Don't just browse, actually choose what you would need to buy and "Add to Cart", then when you're done, go and look at the total. That will put the cost of shipping into proportion and help you decide if it's worth it. If you're going to be in a major city, and you're happy with IKEA, then you could do the same on their Australian website -- but do check that there's a branch in the city you're going to, as they're not everywhere by any means. Have you had a quote for a shared container and compared it to Movecube? Movecube used to be a great option but the prices have gone up a lot recently. Of course, the big downside of shipping everything is the waiting time. There's not much point in shipping, if you end up having to buy new furniture anyway because the container hasn't arrived. If you can borrow furniture from friends and family in the UK, then you're sorted -- get an estimate of how long the container will take, and ship early, so you won't have so long to wait at the other end. Having said that, it's worth noting that furniture stores here (except IKEA) don't keep stock. Buy a sofa from Harvey Norman and you'll have to wait 6 to 8 weeks for it to arrive. So leaving everything behind because you'll be able to furnish your new home quicker here, isn't necessarily true.

Yep … and you should confirm that it’s all done by checking VEVO. Take the old passport if in any doubt.

HI All, thanks for your messages. My son is just about to do his Alevels and yes still planning on returning to Oz for University. He's going in July after his exams, to look at JCU and UQ to do Marine Bio/ Zoology degree. He will spend a few months in Oz alone to see how he feels about living on the other side of the world to us... we are staying another three years now as waiting for younger son to finish school and then one extra year after that to tie up house sales, finances etc. My husband and I are still so happy to be in the UK and enjoy all the Euro travel (& all our family too) but at the end of the day want to live in the same country as our kids in the long term. Thank you so much for the info about residency and qualifying for CSP at Uni. That's very helpful. His course is a CSP course luckily. Are you aware of any stipulations around qualifying for HECS help loan to pay his student contribution? Does he have to be resident for a certain amount of time prior? Thank you Jess

Quoll, I can see the solution is for you to move to the arctic part of the country: almost never too hot to walk, plenty of mizzling rain - not that stair rod tropical stuff - and barely see a fly (maybe on a sheep station?)

62??? Oh dear. As has been said, Australia is very ageist and if they can get a 20 year old to do the job they will pick them every time. Dont fancy your chances unless you are in an incredibly niche market that nobody else in Australia is skilled enough to do. Over the hill at 50 here.

Yes it's more expensive overall, but then if you're a tradie, or in the medical field, your salary will be higher so it becomes swings and roundabouts. If you're in the corporate world, you may have to take a salary drop and you'll probably have to live in the very expensive major cities to get a job, so it all gets a lot harder. As to whether the weather is better -- it depends where you're coming from and where in Australia you'd be going to. Personally, I'm not good when the temperature over 30 degrees, which is extremely common in most of Australia in summer. That's why I live in Melbourne, which is cooler than most of the rest of Oz. Anyway, your first hurdle is to work out whether you can get a visa.

Depends what you mean by Adelaide (and where you live now). If you mean the city or nearby metro suburbs then the winters are mild and layers not thermals will be fine. The Adelaide Hills (where I live ) are always cooler and we get frost in the winter. I enjoy getting out the jumpers! I have one thick down coat but rarely wear it here, although it comes in handy when I visit my son in Canberra where minus figures happen in winter. I have waterproofs as I like hiking but a light raincoat over jumpers is my go to and I can also wear it in warmer wet weather. Having said all that weather everywhere is changing……….

As am I but Aussie employers are known for being age-ist. I was first told I was too old at 17 - they wanted 15 yo's without any experience. Had the same problem throughout my working life in Oz .... too old, too experienced / skilled, too educated

Do not complain about being 49. I am 83 and still firing on most cylinders.

I never settled in Australia, but equally I never phoned home, rarely sent emails (this was in the days before smartphones. The family refused to spend time doing phone calls, or Facetime etc when that became popular, so in between visits home I had so little contact with my family that it would take a couple of days to catch up on the major events when I did get to visit. It wasn't restlessness that drove me to spend my holidays back in the UK, it was the fact I didn't like living in Australia, that simple, and my escapes to the UK were the only way I could stay sane, with a failing marriage and nothing else going on except work.

Blue Manna..... I've noticed that the people who never really settle here and fully commit to Australia are the ones phoning home weekly and use their annual leave taking trips back. This leads to restlessness. I came out to Australia on a working holiday visa and i just never felt ready to go back. I knew it was a great place to succeed and I'm a better person for it. I will say the moment my son was born though helped, and I felt more Australian than British from then on. Good point Marisawright , i'm not sure the UK is the place i left 20 yrs ago, I've probably watched too many episodes of escape to the country and thought that if i convert my Aus$ into GBP it will go much further but that aside, the truth is when my partner and I are long gone (in heaven or hell ) my son will have no family here and we have decided that this is a reason to plan a relocation in the future.