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Quoll last won the day on June 5

Quoll had the most liked content!

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About Quoll

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  • Birthday April 25

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  1. Quoll

    Hands up, who’s still here??

    If he’s thinking apprenticeship then maybe going to TAFE to do yr 12 is a reasonable possibility, then he could continue with trade training at TAFE but they do like apprentices to have yr 12 and having an actual yr 12 is probably better than trying to argue A levels equivalence. If he wants Uni though, finish A levels.
  2. Quoll

    Hands up, who’s still here??

    Good luck! Just dont take the DS out of 6th form until he's done his A levels then if he wants to go to Aus too he will keep all his options open - A levels travel quite well to Aus. If not, he will basically have to go through yrs 11&12 totally because you cant do much in Aus without your Yr12 cert. Hope it works out for you!
  3. Quoll

    Just can't settle here

    There's standard of living and then again there's standard of living. Sounds like you are materially making it but your quality of life is crap. Yes, I relate, after 42.3 years I dont belong here either. I'd suggest that you'd be happier going home and making do with less (although the dollar is doing quite well at the moment so you would probably take back quite a bit with you). Your kids deserve happy parents and it sounds like they are not getting that. Look at other ways you might be able to make do with less but have more happiness in your life. For me, "belonging" was the best thing I could do to make my life better and money cant buy that. Good luck. If you stay, perhaps seek counselling enabling you to better communicate with your OH and learn the tricks for how to manage each day without wanting to slit your wrists!
  4. Quoll

    HELP debt and 309 visa

    Not to worry, repaying your debt will start again when you get back in the country - or, of course, you could just give them a lump sum to pay it off.
  5. Quoll

    Still here and still feel the pull

    I didnt say dont seek their support - it rather depends on what you seek their support for - if you expect a decision to be made for you then that only puts the stress back on you, sadly Nana did find one that was unhelpful which has not been very productive - I would have thought an offer of anti anxiety meds could at least have been discussed. For counselling to work, the client has to be willing to participate - none of them are going to make the decision either and the possibility of helping you go round and round in circles for the process is often not helpful either, as I said, the best they can do is to help you cope with the outcome of the decision. It rather depends on what you think the counsellor or doctor could do - make the decision=no, help you cope with whatever decision you do make=yes. But you have to want to participate in the process and that takes work. In this case there is no right or wrong answer and short of a crystal ball nobody on earth is going to know which outcome will be the most successful/fulfilling unfortunately. A decision has to be made and then lived with because perpetual limbo is an even more unstabilising situation than a less than optimal decision (most of the time, you can fix wrong decisions albeit at some cost, emotionally, financially, socially)
  6. Quoll

    Still here and still feel the pull

    True! They’ll never make the decision for you. The best they may be able to do is to help with the debilitating feelings that seem to be preventing a normal life - whether that be medication or talk therapies. Sometimes, however, they just increase the sense of hopelessness which can be counter productive.
  7. Quoll

    Trans World Sports

    The Open will be open to men too so they will be whingeing that they can’t compete against men and be competitive before too long.
  8. Quoll

    Still here and still feel the pull

    Just have to put your big boy pants on and get on with it!!! Good luck, I really hope it all goes brilliantly for you.
  9. Quoll

    Still here and still feel the pull

    Pragmatically, rent out your home, go to Aus while you have a RRV, stay long enough to get citizenship then re-evaluate. You'll have the income from your home to help you with the frozen pension thing. You'll either love it or hate it but you'll have kept all your options open. All depending how long you lived here for before that could be quite a short period. But sometimes we just have to put on our big girl panties and suck it up - goodbyes are never easy but there will always be hellos to follow. You've got a long time to go before you're old and frail (you're about my age I think!) - and invite them for Christmas!!!!!
  10. Quoll

    How to get shut of regret and remorse?!

    It's interesting because both my sons in adulthood have said that they regretted not being around their extended family as kids. Both married women with huge tight family circles and I think at that point they felt a bit like a third wheel as we were a small self sufficient family. However both have also indicated that they are frustrated that their partners lack self reliance and are far too dependent on those extended family networks so maybe time has cured them of their initial regret.
  11. Quoll

    How to get shut of regret and remorse?!

    I hear you, hindsight is perfect vision and there is bugger all we can do about the past. No point in entertaining regret, remorse or guilt, it just drains your soul. Only thing you can do is to look forward and make things the best you can with what you’ve got. Not easy but if you reframe it into that it’s your life and you make the choices about what to do with it then it makes the feelings of hopelessness dissipate a bit. Remember that if you go through life looking backwards you are more likely to fall into the holes when moving forward. Enjoy your sanity hit! (It’s about time I organised my next one!)
  12. Quoll

    Still here and still feel the pull

    While you have doubts, don’t do it. Looking at the pic you posted of your house, the only way you’d get me out of there is in a box! It’s what most of us aspire to and few can achieve. I know others disagree and absolutely love the heat but Australian summers can be as restrictive as U.K. winters for those of us who don’t do so well when it’s over 25 - so it all depends on how you cope with the hot days. Fortunately we’ve been in LaNiña pretty much since we got back to Aus so the summers have been mild but locking yourself away with the windows closed and curtains drawn isn’t a way to live. Actually, the notion of renting out and giving it a go is quite sensible - it won’t make a skerrick of difference to whether you settle and enjoy or not. But what it might do is to get you citizenship so you’re not frantic about getting a RRV all the time - and once you have citizenship you can come and go at will. Last resort, go and see a fortune teller LOL
  13. Quoll

    Decided I need a change

    It might be easier for you to move to a different part of UK for starters - much cheaper and just as much adventure. Moving away from your parents is always going to be the best option for you to grow to be the person you want to be. Remember the old saying - wherever you go, there you are. You are still going to be the same person, changing countries isn't the magic bullet and you can make smaller, more immediate changes which will take your life in a different direction.
  14. Quoll

    Decided I need a change

    At 30 odd dont you think that finding a place of your own would be a good idea anyway? Your cash will disappear quite quickly here especially if you plan on seeing more of the country than just one or two capitals
  15. Quoll

    Decided I need a change

    I have heard from people in immigration that they have, indeed, been sent quite a few pornographic videos to evidence the relationship - highly amusing to them all.