jasepom Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 We've lost a million dollars from moving back to uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Jase I don't mean to sound bad but just making comments like that won't be helping, I think you need to speak to a professional about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dxboz Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Jase you really do have to stop dwelling on the past - what's gone is gone. Perhaps your wife doesn't feel it was a mistake? Even if she did it sounds like she is getting on with life which you really should be doing too. You are only hurting yourself by dwelling on the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legoman Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 We've lost a million dollars from moving back to uk Nah, your'e building blocks now to make things worse, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Mate, I think it's all been said. I vaguely remeber giving you a bullet last time..............feeling rather cruel but thinking that you needed it. I still do...............think you need a kick up the @rse. I know you well, I was you, for many years when I was younger...............everybody's fault except my own. Shlt happens but you have to get a handle on why, and I disagree with those that simply say, "get over it and move on". Doing that will not change who you are and how you perceive, and treat others. You will continue to be narcissistic and think only of your own needs. You need some "self correction" and if the responses here can't convince you of that, then unfortunately I don't think that you'll ever make the move towards professional help, and you definitely need that. Drop the self pity.............drop the blame..................drop any thought of thinking your life will get better because it won't. With your current attitude to others and your pre-disposition to self, you are heading for a bigger fall than you have already experienced..............GET A GRIP MAN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sustain Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 We've lost a million dollars from moving back to uk and? some of us have lost tens of millions on deals and moved on The reality/issue for you is something on your fitting in with the lifestyle in the UK. From your post on other thread it appears "snobbery" in the vicinity of Harrogate. I think between the lines you felt inadequate and pushed away. Everyone has a value and you are just needing to find your value - it need not be in monetary, it could just you be standing up as a man and being there for your family. When you think about it snobbery has no value, if anything it would be negative, so ignore them. Plenty of great salt of earth people in the North. Who knows what opportunities lay ahead for you and family but its going to best started with you all together. Harrogate also has some very good mental health professionals Good luck on your journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 It was a very expensive mistake although my wife won't admit it Your wife does admit it, you're just not listening. Read some of her posts on another thread. She recognises how expensive and disruptive moving is, and that's exactly why she's not willing to go through all the upheaval and cost of moving the family back to Australia. The money's gone, the mistake is made - she's decided to make the best of what she's got rather than sit grieving over what might have been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 The trouble with mental health issues can often be that everyone round you realises you need help- except you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted April 22, 2014 Author Share Posted April 22, 2014 Yep I know I'm greaving over our lost life in Australia. Can't believe we left Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Yep I know I'm greasing over our lost life in Australia. Can't believe we left Yes, it is a grieving process and it can be just as painful as if someone has died. You've had a rotten time - but so has your wife, remember. You need to find some way to get over the blame game and I don't think you're going to manage that on your own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Yep I know I'm greaving over our lost life in Australia. Can't believe we left Do you really mean "our" or should that be "my"? Think hard, 'cause those two words can make a lot of difference to where you go from here. Your wife clearly didn't see it as her life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rupert Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Yep I know I'm greaving over our lost life in Australia. Can't believe we left You keep saying the same lines over and over again. For all the notice you take of any of us that have replied, well you might as well just say that to yourself over and over because you are taking precisely no notice. So I am not going to come out with the same type of reply again. But I hope that if one thing sinks in, it is that you need some professional help, because you just don't seem well, mentally that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newjez Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Had we been thinking straight we would never have left in the first place. ... and you're thinking straight now? You do sound a lot like that character in last Tango in Halifax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andy Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Yep I know I'm greaving over our lost life in Australia. Can't believe we left I would not be grieving over a lost life in Australia or a million dollars to be honest, I would be grieving over the fact I had waved my relationship with my children down the toilet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gbye grey sky Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 I would not be grieving over a lost life in Australia or a million dollars to be honest, I would be grieving over the fact I had waved my relationship with my children down the toilet. He is............but it is easier to focus on this loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 It was a very expensive mistake although my wife won't admit it Jase you have got to let it go. Everyone is different and for all the people saying that you should move back because of the kids it's really up to you, it's your life and you only get one go. If you can live without the kids and wife, move on and not have them on your mind a lot then fine. At the moment you obviously can't or you wouldn't be posting your problems on here for everyone to see. Stay or go home mate but either one is going to be difficult if you can't get past who's fault it was that you went back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsmen Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Jasepom Ive read a few of your posts and they are sometimes hard to read a bit haphazard for the use of a better word, i agree maybe you do need some counselling sometimes it is hard to see the wood for the trees. All i can say is my husband is giving up his dream to return with myself and our kids so I can be with my older children and family (we all came to oz but older ones left a few months later) he sulked for a day but then he said its cool on to the next chapter in our lives, you and the kids are more important than anything else and he can see although its been great for him its not been great for me. It really is that simple, kids come first, you have blown things out of proportion maybe because you are not feeling well. If you stepped out of the situation and your head for a sec you would see that your kids needs are more important than yours, yes you have to be happy in yourself but by writing on here everyday you obviously aren't happy with your decision hence your hatred of the UK. Please try to see things through your children's eyes they need a father just like my husband is being a father to my kids and his step kids and i love him deeply for it, best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevie129 Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 (edited) @Jasepom I too have been reading this thread and have been observing that you are going round and round with your comments and are ignoring very sound advice that people on here are trying to give you. First of all, you need to stop being so stubborn, take your head out of your a*se and LISTEN to these people who are going out of their way to try and help you. I understand that you have had a tough time and are grieving for the mistake (in your eyes) that has happened. But mistakes are our teachers, we learn from them and this is what makes us better and stronger individuals! It's OK to grieve but from this thread I can see that you have been for some time and it seems that you haven't put any steps in place to help you through this period ie seeking professional help as mentioned by everyone else. I know you have your problems, but doesn't everyone else???? Its how you deal with them that matters! I battled cancer twice and when it came back the second time my wife and I had to go back to the UK and put our life in Aus on hold until I got better. It broke our hearts having to give up our life in Australia but we didnt dwell on it, we had bigger, more important issues back then and knew that Australia would still be there when i recovered. And I'm now only 27!! Life does throw curve balls and sitting dwelling on the past (called the past for a reason!) Stops you from concentrating on the present and the future... I can tell that you are still in denial and this is something that you need to shift. I echo what everyone else is saying. You need professional help for your mental health. And if you think that seeking this help is a sign of weakness then you're wrong, it's actually a sign of strength as you are one step closer to getting your life back on to track. Life is short! You don't want to look back on your life when you are old and grey and think how much time and opportunities were wasted.... People can only help you if you are willing to help yourself! Good luck! Edited April 22, 2014 by stevie129 typos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 It was a very expensive mistake although my wife won't admit it Why should she..... it was your decision to go back to UK and you should face up to that. Along with the majority of posters on here, I suggest that you seek urgent professional help for your mental health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 We've lost a million dollars from moving back to uk Life isn't all about money. Yes we need it to live, but surely your children are more important than dollars? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rossmoyne Posted April 22, 2014 Share Posted April 22, 2014 Mate, I think it's all been said. I vaguely remeber giving you a bullet last time..............feeling rather cruel but thinking that you needed it. I still do...............think you need a kick up the @rse. I know you well, I was you, for many years when I was younger...............everybody's fault except my own. Shlt happens but you have to get a handle on why, and I disagree with those that simply say, "get over it and move on". Doing that will not change who you are and how you perceive, and treat others. You will continue to be narcissistic and think only of your own needs. You need some "self correction" and if the responses here can't convince you of that, then unfortunately I don't think that you'll ever make the move towards professional help, and you definitely need that. Drop the self pity.............drop the blame..................drop any thought of thinking your life will get better because it won't. With your current attitude to others and your pre-disposition to self, you are heading for a bigger fall than you have already experienced..............GET A GRIP MAN! Well said Johndoe..... I am sure many of us were thinking that.... well done you for saying it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 I'm starting to rebuild my life in Australia now. And look, the fact is there are people who come to Australia, return to UK, and come back again. They do exist, it's just something that perhaps some of us have to go through in order to see where we belong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Are you getting divorced jasepom ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 I don't know, there is a lot of damage in our relationship. Things were fine before we left Australia, but when we got back to England, I just turned on my wife which obviously didnt help the situation. We still love each other deep down I'm sure. Just wish things were different. If we hadnt left Australia, our lives would be fine now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted September 18, 2014 Author Share Posted September 18, 2014 Where in Melbourne do you live parleycross. Maybe we should meet up for a coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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