Lucharmily Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 3 years to get us to Oz, stayed 4 years, then went back on a whim. Just crazy, what the hell were we thinking. Those poor kids growing up in poverty now, when we gave them the best of everything here in Australia. Those poor kids growing up without their Father nearby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Ease up guys. I'm sure Jase is feeling very bad about things. Sniping from the peanut gallery is not going to be of any help to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Ease up guys.I'm sure Jase is feeling very bad about things. Sniping from the peanut gallery is not going to be of any help to him. Parley if he felt bad he would go back to his wife and children. I personally never want to return to the UK I love Australia, it's my home, but if Rob went back I would go with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 May I suggest that you go back to the UK, swallow your pride and re unite your family? If you're not prepared to do that then move on with your life, you seem to be perpetually picking at the scab, it clearly isn't/won't achieve anything. I could never imagine being in a different town from my kids, let alone the other side of the world from them. Your children should matter more to you than any material wealth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avinalff Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 My wife and I have been here In Queensland for nearly 10 years now, Iam 66,and I have had enough of the sun,noisy neighbours,crap TV, and not least the price of everything. The only thing cheaper than UK is petrol. I can't believe how much everything has gone up in the time we've been here. A little rain wouldn't go amiss.Green grass would be good. I am recently retired ,my wife loves it here,we have two elderly dogs, so my chances of going back to see our kids(41 and 37!) is remote.The trouble is because of this homesickness,my views of Australia are nearly all negative. Its like my life has ended,but I can't do nowt about it.I had my doubts about coming out,but gave in and came,the worst mistake of my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avinalff Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I went the other way, I was retired in the UK,but my wife got a good job here in Queensland, when we were on holiday, and now I am in my ninth year of homesickness, to be back in Lancashire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I went the other way, I was retired in the UK,but my wife got a good job here in Queensland,when we were on holiday, and now I am in my ninth year of homesickness, to be back in Lancashire. Can't you go back? It's not too late at 66! Or won't the wife go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I went the other way, I was retired in the UK,but my wife got a good job here in Queensland,when we were on holiday, and now I am in my ninth year of homesickness, to be back in Lancashire. Could you compromise and live 6 months here and 6 months in the UK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Ease up guys.I'm sure Jase is feeling very bad about things. Sniping from the peanut gallery is not going to be of any help to him. It's us that should be given the break Parley not him. He's deserted his kids............end of.................and all he does is whine about "poor old me" The only thing that appears to feel bad about is HIS misfortune not the fact that he's deserted his family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 My wife and I have been here In Queensland for nearly 10 years now, Iam 66,and I have had enoughof the sun,noisy neighbours,crap TV, and not least the price of everything. The only thing cheaper than UK is petrol. I can't believe how much everything has gone up in the time we've been here. A little rain wouldn't go amiss.Green grass would be good. I am recently retired ,my wife loves it here,we have two elderly dogs, so my chances of going back to see our kids(41 and 37!) is remote.The trouble is because of this homesickness,my views of Australia are nearly all negative. Its like my life has ended,but I can't do nowt about it.I had my doubts about coming out,but gave in and came,the worst mistake of my life. Then all you should be doing is looking for the positives. If you constantly dwell on what you can't have, then you'll end up being treated for depression.................believe me, there's a positive side to most things.................took me over 60 yrs to realise it but I'm a whole lot better for it now than having been drugged up to eyeballs constantly and navel gazing all the time. You can't dwell on the past, yearn for what you can't have and be anxious about the future...............it does nothing other than preventing you from enjoying the now. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 It's us that should be given the break Parley not him. He's deserted his kids............end of.................and all he does is whine about "poor old me" The only thing that appears to feel bad about is HIS misfortune not the fact that he's deserted his family I know what he has done and he knows what he has done. I'm sure everyone calling him a pr1ck is not helping him at all. He may be depressed too and copping a whole lot of vitriol is not going to help at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach pig Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) I know what he has done and he knows what he has done.I'm sure everyone calling him a pr1ck is not helping him at all. He may be depressed too and copping a whole lot of vitriol is not going to help at all. I agree give the guy a break relationships break up all the time.jasepom has chosen his life here in oz is better for him.his wife has chosen its better for them in Yorkshire. If jasepom can stand being away from his kids well that's his choice. Me personally I could not leave the kids I would have to be within a twenty mile radius to them.another thought though in his defence is what if his wife met another fella then moved to the USA with the kids. Because to me it sounds like the marriage is already on the rocks.but ultimately she has the choice on where the children reside. Good luck to both of you and hope you can reconcile your differences for your kids happiness. This emigrating lark is not a lot of fun guys. Edited October 23, 2014 by beach pig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I agree give the guy a break relationships break up all the time.jasepom has chosen his life here in oz is better for him.his wife has chosen its better for them in Yorkshire. If jasepom can stand being away from his kids well that's his choice. Me personally I could not leave the kids I would have to be within a twenty mile radius to them.another thought though in his defence is what if his wife met another fella then moved to the USA with the kids. Because to me it sounds like the marriage is already on the rocks.but ultimately she has the choice on where the children reside. Good luck to both of you and hope you can reconcile your differences for your kids happiness. This emigrating lark is not a lot of fun guys. It can be with sensible expectations and some serious 'bottle' to have a decent go. As I've said many times whoever came up with 'living the dream' should have been summarily shot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 It can be with sensible expectations and some serious 'bottle' to have a decent go. As I've said many times whoever came up with 'living the dream' should have been summarily shot! I'm calling BS on this. Australia is JUST A COUNTRY. As such, its not worth relinquising your family for. There are some seriously deluded people on here dishing out some very dodgy advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ptp113 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I'm calling BS on this. Australia is JUST A COUNTRY. As such, its not worth relinquising your family for. There are some seriously deluded people on here dishing out some very dodgy advice! Australia or Blighty? Easy decision for him and most sane peoples.............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Australia or Blighty? Easy decision for him and most sane peoples.............. In Australia alone or in Blighty surrounded by wife and kids? .....hmmmmm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Your deluded, it's you that's being cruel. I feel sorry for your kids tbh. Being abandoned by a parent affects people badly at any age so I imagine it must be even harder for young children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Australia or Blighty? Easy decision for him and most sane peoples.............. You have kids. Would you leave them for another country? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I agree give the guy a break relationships break up all the time.jasepom has chosen his life here in oz is better for him.his wife has chosen its better for them in Yorkshire. If jasepom can stand being away from his kids well that's his choice. Me personally I could not leave the kids I would have to be within a twenty mile radius to them.another thought though in his defence is what if his wife met another fella then moved to the USA with the kids. Because to me it sounds like the marriage is already on the rocks.but ultimately she has the choice on where the children reside. Good luck to both of you and hope you can reconcile your differences for your kids happiness. This emigrating lark is not a lot of fun guys. I agree he's made his choice and normally most people would say fair enough and good luck but he constantly goes on about how cruel it is to him instead of thinking about how hard it is probably for his children. We've all told him to go speak to a doctor about how he's feeling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I think everyone on this thread seems to be talking at cross purposes at times. Yes, Jasepom chose to leave the UK and return to Australia and everyone is saying he chose a country over his children. Perhaps he chose a situation over a different situation, although I agree, Australia seems to have turned him slightly deranged in his thinking of blaming his wife as it was his choice to leave her and the children in the UK. However, this leaving your children at any age is detrimental for them and when they are younger it must be hard. I have to disagree a bit here. I am leaving my children behind albeit they are all over 18 but I would horrified if someone berated me for leaving them. Leaving young children is one thing, once they are adults though, they make their own choices and don't think twice about leaving home and moving on. Jasepom. You made your choice. If you feel it was wrong then repair the damage by going back. If you feel you were right then get a new hobby instead of posting futile and fruitless threads on here as it will only make you more unhappy as ultimately, no-one will understand how you could have left your young children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I think everyone on this thread seems to be talking at cross purposes at times. Yes, Jasepom chose to leave the UK and return to Australia and everyone is saying he chose a country over his children. Perhaps he chose a situation over a different situation, although I agree, Australia seems to have turned him slightly deranged in his thinking of blaming his wife as it was his choice to leave her and the children in the UK. However, this leaving your children at any age is detrimental for them and when they are younger it must be hard. I have to disagree a bit here. I am leaving my children behind albeit they are all over 18 but I would horrified if someone berated me for leaving them. Leaving young children is one thing, once they are adults though, they make their own choices and don't think twice about leaving home and moving on. Jasepom. You made your choice. If you feel it was wrong then repair the damage by going back. If you feel you were right then get a new hobby instead of posting futile and fruitless threads on here as it will only make you more unhappy as ultimately, no-one will understand how you could have left your young children. You aren't leaving children MtT, you are leaving adults and that's very different! Of course to you they will always be your children, as I tell my son every day he will always be my little guy even when he's 6 foot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 My wife and I have been here In Queensland for nearly 10 years now, Iam 66,and I have had enoughof the sun,noisy neighbours,crap TV, and not least the price of everything. The only thing cheaper than UK is petrol. I can't believe how much everything has gone up in the time we've been here. A little rain wouldn't go amiss.Green grass would be good. I am recently retired ,my wife loves it here,we have two elderly dogs, so my chances of going back to see our kids(41 and 37!) is remote.The trouble is because of this homesickness,my views of Australia are nearly all negative. Its like my life has ended,but I can't do nowt about it.I had my doubts about coming out,but gave in and came,the worst mistake of my life. Welcome to the forum, unfortunately posting in the middle of this thread means your post has been rather lost and responses to the OP may have rather put you off posting again. Do come back but maybe start your own thread in the MBTTUK section or join the MBTTUK group where you can express your negative views about Australia without anyone judging you - send a private message to 'The Pom Queen' if you would like to join the group. I know problems can seem insurmountable but elderly dogs is really just an excuse, especially if you are only talking about a visit - go without your wife, or go together & get a house sitter. Or if it is seeing your children rather than the country then pay for your kids to come out (assuming they can't afford it themselves). I totally understand the seeing everything negative when you don't want to be somewhere - I was 'forced' to move to SE England and I used to joke that I cried every day for the first year and every other day the year after but that isn't far from the truth. I ended up staying 13 years but was never truly happy, interestingly it was only after 7 very happy years in Scotland and then embarking on our Australia adventure that I started to see that I had a chip on my shoulder and 'made' myself not like London. Australia turned out not to be for us but I don't think I saw it all negatively - there were things I didn't like but there are things I don't like in Scotland too! If it is a case that your wife wouldn't consider moving back and if leaving your wife would be worse than living in Australia (& since you don't have children to consider you are absolutely free to make that decision) then can I suggest a course in Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), I found it incredibly helpful when i was diagnosed with a chromic illness. There are some things in life you just have to take on the chin and ACT helps you to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasepom Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) I am opposite to you, as I don't see any positives about living in UK anymore (lower wages, too many people, horrible commuting IMHO) You may fall into the same trap as I did ,of (literally) the grass is always greener. It is not. If you have had enough of the sun, take a winter holiday. Your lifestyle and stability is not worth risking because of homesickness. I threw aways everything we'd worked hard for here, cause of f*cking homesickness. My sister deals with it by taking regular visits "back home" to UK (every 1 or 2 years). I say to her, "Debbie, if you like going back to UK why don't you live there?". She replies, "I love going back for a holiday, but I could never live back there". She has a nice confortable life in Melbourne, good job, lots of money, nice house. Why would she leave ???? Edited October 23, 2014 by jasepom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MovingtoTasmania Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 You aren't leaving children MtT, you are leaving adults and that's very different! Of course to you they will always be your children, as I tell my son every day he will always be my little guy even when he's 6 foot TBH LR, it was more in response to one poster who said that leaving children of any age was traumatic. I can just imagine my big lads (and they are grown men now lol with kids) crying in their pints!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest51810 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 Me? I actually meant abandoning them. I don't consider what your doing abandoning them. It's hard for me to explain what I mean but it definitely wasn't about leaving young adults behind while keeping in touch with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.