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Stuck! (Perth/UK)


SeanCRM

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Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

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The UK isn't always wet and soggy with grey skies.  I've lived in Perth and during winter it is also very wet with grey skies.  Not for days on end but it does happen.  I don't know how old you are and hopefully you are a long way off dying in a place you don't really like.  We moved from Perth to Sydney many years ago (now in Tasmania) and the east coast is very different to the west coast of Australia.  It's your choice where you choose to live though.  If huge houses, cheap fuel, climate etc appeals more than UK and Europe stay in Perth.  I hate camping and have only done it now and again when our sons were young - after that forget it.  

Plenty of people have been in your situation and moved back to the UK successfully.  I've never felt the pull to move back though.

If it makes any difference, the UK has been having warm/hot summers for the past few years according to British posters on this forum and my friends in the UK say the same  -  depending on which area of the UK of course.  The south definitely gets the better weather and winters are a lot milder now too.

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56 minutes ago, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

Hi Sean,  we lived in Perth for 28 years, we loved it 100% , but I do understand why it's not for everyone and I do understand where you are coming from.

We are currently in the UK, on our second "trial" of living back in the UK, but due to return to Australia next month.

I really wish I had an answer for you, and for the many many hundred's of others who ask this question on here, but there is no answer really, it's a very personal decision and you need to weigh up what you can live with, and what you can live without, and what compromises you are prepared to accept. Also, what you can afford to spend on moving !

But, I will say the UK is fabulous in summer, it really is, but crikey heck come winter and well, it's a totally different story !

Good luck and I wish you well with your difficult decision.

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Gosh, whereabouts in Britain were you with grey skies and wet ground?  I'd avoid that like the plague.  Personally I loved my last nearly 9 years in Cambridgeshire even though it is flat but everywhere is so close to everywhere else that you can get lovely variety with little effort.  I think Cambridge has its own little microclimate, the weather was much more to my taste than Canberra's is.

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2 hours ago, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

Sounds like you would be happier on the east coast.

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1 hour ago, Quoll said:

Gosh, whereabouts in Britain were you with grey skies and wet ground?  I'd avoid that like the plague.  Personally I loved my last nearly 9 years in Cambridgeshire even though it is flat but everywhere is so close to everywhere else that you can get lovely variety with little effort.  I think Cambridge has its own little microclimate, the weather was much more to my taste than Canberra's is.

Probably the North, rain and grey skies was quite a common occurrence in the 30 odd years i lived there, maybe that's why the UK weather is the butt of many jokes...  

Cal x

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2 hours ago, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

What didnt you like about the East coast ? Qld has a great mix of hotels and camping sites so if that is one of your biggest bug bears it may be worth a shot. If its just a case of WA not being the UK ,it may be time to plan a move back for when all the Covid stuff dies down. Lots of luck with your decision.

 Cal x

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2 hours ago, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. 

People often make the mistake of thinking Australia is one big sameness - so if they loved living Sydney or Brisbane, they'll love living in Perth.  Not the case at all. Each city has its own vibe, and different cities suit different people. 

In my experience, people who adore Sydney don't settle in Perth - and people who love Perth can't stand Sydney.   I love Sydney but in all my years there, made very few friends - whereas Melbourne will never be as gorgeous as Sydney, but I've made lots of friends in a short space of time.  However, I have a Sydney friend who found Melbourne stand-offish. We are all individuals, with individual likes and dislikes.

You might find that moving over to the East Coast would offer a solution, if going back to the UK doesn't appeal.  

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Whilst I do love Perth, I absolutely empathise 100% about camping - hate it and won't even contemplate it, Glamping for me involves a hotel, shower and nice comfy bed (plus club rooms when I persuade the hubby to part with some extra $)

When we first arrived I was very 'people sick' as much as I liked it here, establishing a new friendship group was hard work.  You didn't mention it in your OP - but do get Citizenship if you haven't already - that way, no decision you make has to be a permanent one.

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I was also going to add stick it out until you have citizenship then the world is your oyster!  You could try the East Coast while you are doing so.

Perth and Melbourne / Sydney are so different in scale and bustle.  Perth is getting buseir though - I notice it a lot when we go back with a couple of years gap.  I do think though I could get bored shitless stuck out in a northern or southern Suburb.  Defo aiming for close suburbs.

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Sean I live in the UK, but not where I was born and raised. We moved and found a very different lifestyle to the one left behind, living on the coast in a larger property because money goes further here. The weather is what it is, but we don't hibernate for months on end and usually have a Plan B for days that scupper original plans. Life is busy, full and very different to what it was before.

My point is this - the culture and lifestyle in London is very different to that of Manchester or Birmingham, is different again in a market town, or a coastal village, in Scotland or in Wales. If you decide to return to the UK you don't have to return to your old life if you don't want to, there are options for forging a new one elsewhere as part of a new chapter and adventure. In weighing your options and choices, maybe factor that into the process?

Good luck, I know it's not easy when there is a tussle between head and heart.  T x

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On 07/07/2020 at 06:34, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

Somewhere else in Europe perhaps .

Two mates of mine ,and their wives ,now live in Spain permanently , and then fly back to the u.k ,either when it gets too hot in Spain during the summer - or for Xmas and birthdays - they have taken out residency .

If you pick your flights , as they have a monthly planner - you can be back in the u.k in 2- 3 hrs for £50  return - easy .

An even cheaper option - if you want beaches , art, culture , history, friendly people , safety , great food - is Portugal. 

A lot Portuguese speakers from the likes of Brazil and the u.s - moving there now 

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On 07/07/2020 at 06:34, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

Simple, just leave. We ended up loathing the place.  It was like we’d become 70 years old after arriving there. We love U.K., it’s such a happening place ..well it was pre covid.  You’ve far more freedom back here and there’s so much going on.

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  • 4 weeks later...

One way of avoiding the horrible cold winters in the UK is to go to Spain for the winter months. Exactly the same climate as Perth. Problem is the UK summers aren't all that warm unless you're in the south of the country.

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I would say move over to Melbourne  which is very European and has reasonable weather ( certainly compared with the UK)- but not now because it is a disaster zone until we get through this covid stuff. I can't stand Perth personally but as marisa said, we are all different. I'm picky because I'm not that struck on Sydney, either but I like Brisbane and Adelaide.  I think you would possibly get sick of Adelaide after a while because it is small. Good time to look at house buying, though, if you were to move east because the prices are dropping in a lot of areas just now for obvious reasons.

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On 07/07/2020 at 06:34, SeanCRM said:

Came to Australia first in 2014, travelled the East coast before moving to Perth. Couldn't wait to get back to Europe. 

As soon as I got back I regretted it, and worked my way up to move back to Perth.

I've now been here 4 years, but seem to have a real issue committing to the place. 4 years on and still no real friends. Also, I hate camping. I'm more of a nice hotel/swimming pool kind of guy. So driving the same roads for hours either up or down the west coast to sleep in a sand filled tent while being eaten by mozzies has no appeal to me. Seems that this is pure camping culture (I guess we are the most isolated city in the world). I literally feel like I'm on a different planet here and life's passing by. The thought of dying here actually repulses me. But...it's so good here? Huge houses, disposable income, cheap fuel, great beaches, parks, climate etc.....it's all so good! 

I think about moving home to the UK sometimes, to try and pick up my old life, but when I look at photos of the wet ground and the grey skies, I start to feel that I can't go back either. 

Has anybody else been in this situation? What did you do? Any regrets?

It's 36 degrees in the UK today, and has been all week. 

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The weather has been better than not all year. January was very wet, don't mind that, the place wouldn't be green without it. From lockdown mid-March until the end of June, the weather was fab. May was the sunniest month on record in the UK. July was changeable but the weather has been good again for the last couple of weeks. In fact, too hot if truth be told.

To the OP, I wouldn't worry about the weather, we have been back in the UK for 16 months and it really isn't a factor. Also, I'm not sure why you are still in Australia if, after 4 years, you can't identify with the place, have no friends, feel life is passing you by and are repulsed by the thought of dying there.

Great that your house is big and petrol is cheap but, you know, really?

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