How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?

[Richie2022]

4 minutes ago, Quoll said:

What about the rest of the family? 

My wife also has citizenship in Australia and my daughter has Australian being born here. Had to get her british citizenship through my father even though I was born there which seemed kinda crazy to me but that's all done now.

[Quoll]

2 minutes ago, Richie2022 said:

My wife also has citizenship in Australia and my daughter has Australian being born here. Had to get her british citizenship through my father even though I was born there which seemed kinda crazy to me but that's all done now.

You are all home and hosed then!  I thought your daughter could get it through you even though you are a citizen by descent because I assume you have lived in UK for more than 2? years. And, of course, if your wife is British born, your daughter can get it through her these days (my lads were just in the grandfathering period for that!).  I admit I hadn't heard that you can get citizenship from a grandfather but you can certainly get an ancestry visa through a grandfather. Good luck with it!

[Richie2022]

2 minutes ago, Quoll said:

You are all home and hosed then!  I thought your daughter could get it through you even though you are a citizen by descent because I assume you have lived in UK for more than 2? years. And, of course, if your wife is British born, your daughter can get it through her these days (my lads were just in the grandfathering period for that!).  I admit I hadn't heard that you can get citizenship from a grandfather but you can certainly get an ancestry visa through a grandfather. Good luck with it!

Ahh no I think it was because of when I was born we had to use my fathers information as well. But yes I had lived in the Uk for around 14 years total. My wife isn't british born or a citizen there she is is going on her indefinite leave vida which she just needs to renew.

[Bulya]

19 hours ago, Richie2022 said:

Me and my wife have been here almost 7 years and that's where we are at now. Planning to move back to the Uk as soon as financially viable, likely end of 2023.

Where are you located?

[Richie2022]

2 hours ago, Bulya said:

Where are you located?

Melbourne. I've also lived in Sydney for a year.

[Bulya]

6 hours ago, Richie2022 said:

Melbourne. I've also lived in Sydney for a year.

That explains it.  2 years in Melbourne was more than enough for me.  The football was good and the occasional motor race (Sandown) but that was it.  

[Parley]

On 09/07/2022 at 18:46, Richie2022 said:

My wife also has citizenship in Australia and my daughter has Australian being born here. Had to get her british citizenship through my father even though I was born there which seemed kinda crazy to me but that's all done now.

Why? That doesn't sound right. If you were born in the UK your daughter was a British Citizen automatically at birth overseas. You didn't need to do anything.

[bug family]

Well hello to you all at PIO,

 

I have missed you and the group but I have deliberately not posted until now as I wanted to give myself sometime to get over the initial shock of moving my worlds…literally, 

I have been so very very busy with new job / divorce 🥲 / saying goodbye 🥲 / saying hello / trying to settle / British life again and just feeling like I am back home and belong

it has been the hardest thing I have ever done, I knew it would be but until I sat down in the single room in the shared house and the door shut it didn’t really hit home,

I sat there in silence, no more voices of my children, no more cooking meals, dancing to music with my daughter, being a silly dad……Australia for me was with the people I love with all my heart, but not in the place that I love…….and that is eventually toxic to your soul

I cannot pretend that it has not been a bumpy ride, I have had moments when the aching to see the children have been so bad that I started packing a bag and looking at flights…after all I could just do it, I could just get a cab, get a flight and go back…..but even though that’s what my heart wants my head is telling me to stay, 

I should explain that when I came to Australia I was very homesick from day one, but I decided to not just cut and run, I needed to keep going to ‘ see it through’ to ‘ stick it out’ …ten and a half years later I finally left

so how has it been, other than the difficult bits, missing my children, new job, new people etc

 

Amazing….I can only describe that the feeling of being back where I belong has been like a weight lifted of my shoulders…like I have been released from a prison, like I had never left…really…I knew that somethings will have changed, the people I knew would have a few more wrinkles, houses and roads would now be in places that they where not in before, but on the whole ten years have not really changed that much, since being back I spend all my time when I am not working exploring…not only does it help to keep my mind occupied, it helps with mental health to have an interest outside of work, something totally separate 

the food….the food …..honestly the choice and the food…..

the places every town, every village, every city is individual and different….

the pubs ….say no more…there are hundreds of them each one different

the beaches…the mountains…the long country drives …the late nights …..the late sunsets

I have met some really lovely people, I forgot how friendly people are, and how they are willing to help you or check in on you, 

I have just got back from camping around the lochs of Scotland, every spare moment I get I go camping and exploring….I can’t pretend it’s all roses I have to admit it would be nice to share my time with someone…it can be lonely at times

A couple of things I have found really difficult, I have gone from being with someone and serving a purpose as a dad, to being not needed as such, it’s a weird unsettling feeling, I have had to try and get used to no one being there when I get in from a journey or work, it doesn’t matter what time I get in no one is waiting for me, I do find this hard

a song came on you tube whilst I was listening to Coldplay yesterday it’s called ‘daddy’……it really got me….I cried and that doesn’t happen often

on a plus note the work here is so very, varied and I feel like I have already made a difference in my patients lives, when I am at work I am totally committed to my job and the patient before me, I switch off my personal life and switch on my paramedic head, to say I have had some eye opening jobs is an understatement,

My next move is to get a mortgage, I have to wait until I have three months wage advices so I can approach a lender….I am working around Manchester which is not where I want to be, but I got ‘put here’ so will have to stay for now….however I will be looking to get a place back in North Wales as soon as possible, as that is my home

 

i have a post stick note on my cupboard in my room …I look at it most days ….i wrote it when I arrived, ‘ one step, one day at a time’ 

I realise there is a long road to go, but I am getting there…..slowly, ………is it all great nope, nothing ever is, is it home absolutely

[Cup Final 1973]

Great to hear your follow-up bug family and I wish you all the very best in your new life.

[Saurer Pfirsich]

On 15/09/2022 at 03:32, bug family said:

Well hello to you all at PIO,

 

I have missed you and the group but I have deliberately not posted until now as I wanted to give myself sometime to get over the initial shock of moving my worlds…literally, 

I have been so very very busy with new job / divorce 🥲 / saying goodbye 🥲 / saying hello / trying to settle / British life again and just feeling like I am back home and belong

it has been the hardest thing I have ever done, I knew it would be but until I sat down in the single room in the shared house and the door shut it didn’t really hit home,

I sat there in silence, no more voices of my children, no more cooking meals, dancing to music with my daughter, being a silly dad……Australia for me was with the people I love with all my heart, but not in the place that I love…….and that is eventually toxic to your soul

I cannot pretend that it has not been a bumpy ride, I have had moments when the aching to see the children have been so bad that I started packing a bag and looking at flights…after all I could just do it, I could just get a cab, get a flight and go back…..but even though that’s what my heart wants my head is telling me to stay, 

I should explain that when I came to Australia I was very homesick from day one, but I decided to not just cut and run, I needed to keep going to ‘ see it through’ to ‘ stick it out’ …ten and a half years later I finally left

so how has it been, other than the difficult bits, missing my children, new job, new people etc

 

Amazing….I can only describe that the feeling of being back where I belong has been like a weight lifted of my shoulders…like I have been released from a prison, like I had never left…really…I knew that somethings will have changed, the people I knew would have a few more wrinkles, houses and roads would now be in places that they where not in before, but on the whole ten years have not really changed that much, since being back I spend all my time when I am not working exploring…not only does it help to keep my mind occupied, it helps with mental health to have an interest outside of work, something totally separate 

the food….the food …..honestly the choice and the food…..

the places every town, every village, every city is individual and different….

the pubs ….say no more…there are hundreds of them each one different

the beaches…the mountains…the long country drives …the late nights …..the late sunsets

I have met some really lovely people, I forgot how friendly people are, and how they are willing to help you or check in on you, 

I have just got back from camping around the lochs of Scotland, every spare moment I get I go camping and exploring….I can’t pretend it’s all roses I have to admit it would be nice to share my time with someone…it can be lonely at times

A couple of things I have found really difficult, I have gone from being with someone and serving a purpose as a dad, to being not needed as such, it’s a weird unsettling feeling, I have had to try and get used to no one being there when I get in from a journey or work, it doesn’t matter what time I get in no one is waiting for me, I do find this hard

a song came on you tube whilst I was listening to Coldplay yesterday it’s called ‘daddy’……it really got me….I cried and that doesn’t happen often

on a plus note the work here is so very, varied and I feel like I have already made a difference in my patients lives, when I am at work I am totally committed to my job and the patient before me, I switch off my personal life and switch on my paramedic head, to say I have had some eye opening jobs is an understatement,

My next move is to get a mortgage, I have to wait until I have three months wage advices so I can approach a lender….I am working around Manchester which is not where I want to be, but I got ‘put here’ so will have to stay for now….however I will be looking to get a place back in North Wales as soon as possible, as that is my home

 

i have a post stick note on my cupboard in my room …I look at it most days ….i wrote it when I arrived, ‘ one step, one day at a time’ 

I realise there is a long road to go, but I am getting there…..slowly, ………is it all great nope, nothing ever is, is it home absolutely

A very brave and honest post mate. I've been following your story with some interest particularly as my best mate here has made a similar decision after 18 years in Australia, and a lot of his experiences chime with yours. Hope it works out for you. As you say, 'one step, one day at a time.'

[proud preston]

@bug family I have been wondering how you’ve been getting on. Such a huge step for you to take. I don’t know you but truly hope it works out and you find happiness and contentment in this next chapter. So many of us living in self imposed exile; whatever country we may have moved to. A longing for birthplace and the place we grew up in never leaves many. 

Keep us posted and all the best. 

[22B]

(Amazing….I can only describe that the feeling of being back where I belong has been like a weight lifted of my shoulders…like I have been released from a prison, like I had never left…really…I knew that somethings will have changed, the people I knew would have a few more wrinkles, houses and roads would now be in places that they where not in before, but on the whole ten years have not really changed that much, since being back I spend all my time when I am not working exploring…not only does it help to keep my mind occupied, it helps with mental health to have an interest outside of work, something totally separate...)

 

'Released from a prison'... really pleased you're back where you belong. I suspect I'll have to wait at least 10 more years for that moment, and I've already been here 12.

Good luck to you.

[tea4too]

Thinking of you @bug family at what I know is a difficult time of year for many and possibly for you too this year for a number of reasons. Be kind to yourself and maybe try to keep busy if you can,  too much thinking time is not always the best way to  get through tough times. Best wishes, Tx

[bug family]

8 hours ago, tea4too said:

Thinking of you @bug family at what I know is a difficult time of year for many and possibly for you too this year for a number of reasons. Be kind to yourself and maybe try to keep busy if you can,  too much thinking time is not always the best way to  get through tough times. Best wishes, Tx

thank you tea4too, 

I have deliberately picked up a shift working Christmas day and am working over most of Christmas, I admit I am finding it hard as I have never been away from the children this long or at Christmas......... but the thought of setting them up for another future and seeing them again one day keeps me going

This time next year I will be in my own house again...and they will be here for Christmas  x

 

Happy Christmas tea4too x

[tea4too]

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda, Bugfamily... lots to look forward to in 2023. Take care, Tx

[bug family]

Hi to all on PIO,

 

A little update hope you and yours are all well  X

It has been a roller coaster over the last few months; since I last wrote on here I have been very busy (did I expect anything else) .....side note a rather experienced health care professional recently discussed a potential diagnosis (off the record and not official) of ADHD ..for me ...cheeky ...but something for me to consider ...when I get time....is this why I never settled in Aus? 

I am no longer employed as a Paramedic around Manchester.....................(an amazing bunch of people to work with) 

Because I am now employed as a Paramedic for the Welsh ambulance service 

I am finally home 

following some intense interviews, clinical tests and a months' worth of blue light emergency driving assessments ... I got the Job for the people of Wales (and England as we operate over the border).. I am proud to serve all before me, regardless, it is a privilege to serve all.....

I have also found a very small 350-year-old! cottage in a small village ...that I have been accepted for a mortgage for.

I have to be honest I have had many 'wobbles' over the past few months... I am in some ways my own worst enemy...maybe I like to test / torture myself.. for example, I have set up a screen saver on my desktop computer ..it scrolls past pictures of my children and my life in Australia ...I love seeing my children's pictures scroll past, aaaaand it absolutely destroys me at the same time .... I miss them, that aching has not and will never go away...

My wife (ex wife) I cannot as yet get used to the past tense in that statement, has definitely moved on as she has had a number of ..liasons, dates what ever you want to call them...and has now got a stable partner again, I am happy that she is happy again.....but it is a very bitter pill to swallow. If I am honest....I still miss her ... I carry my wedding ring around with me in my 'manbag' which goes every where with me ....yes I know this is not probably  healthy but it suits me ..for now...after all I am thousands of miles away, I recently went on a coffee date....I enjoyed myself (nothing physical), I was honest, ridiculous though it sounds I felt guilty for meeting another women...I guess its to soon for me....

Many times I have wanted to go back...but the logical part of me realises that that would be harder than staying put....plus my wife (ex) has said I cannot go back.....

being single again, in mid-life presents new challenges, it is at times very lonely and without purpose, once you have been a functional father being without your children and partner  sets you adrift .... I now can see those that are also invisible, ....as I am also invisible....I shop at the large super-markets ...I sometimes feel embarrassment, ...a cursory nod to those in the same boat ...until you wear the uniform of singularity you will not know how this feels..... I have never noticed to quote the Beatles ' All the lonely people' before.....(next time you are shopping really take a look)...its the person with a small milk and micro meals....

Anyhow I am hopeful to complete on my (and my children's) small cottage in a small Welsh village within the next month...it needs work...but then so do I  .... don't we all....I absolutely love my Job....I make a difference , every day.... I make sure of it.....the 93 yr. old who was my patient recently...we both sat and ate cake and tea ...we may be from different decades... but we are the same .....

 

 

 

[FirstWorldProblems]

It sounds like it’s been quite hard……but you are taking lots of steps forward and making great progress on building a new life. Keep facing forward and keep progressing as you are and you are going to end up in a good place. A happy place. 

[Quoll]

Great update @bug family  I am so glad to hear that you are finally "home" - hope you've been practising your Welsh!!!!  I think what you are going through is like what anyone with a broken marriage goes through - that feeling of swimming around in a big pond of confusion especially if you still have feelings for the one you once loved. Have no guilt about moving on (she doesnt!), there will be a nice young Welsh lass out there somewhere (think Steven Stills "Love the one you're with") Hopefully it wont be too long before your kids can be home for a holiday though then you can show them their heritage and have a great time.

[Toots]

It was good to read your update @bug family.  Wonderful to know you are back in your beloved Wales and that you will soon be the owner of a little cottage.  Of course it must be hard for you at times but you have a job you love and your own cottage.

Please continue to update us with your life in Wales.  

 

Edited April 14, 2023 by Toots

[Lavers]

7 hours ago, bug family said:

Hi to all on PIO,

 

A little update hope you and yours are all well  X

It has been a roller coaster over the last few months; since I last wrote on here I have been very busy (did I expect anything else) .....side note a rather experienced health care professional recently discussed a potential diagnosis (off the record and not official) of ADHD ..for me ...cheeky ...but something for me to consider ...when I get time....is this why I never settled in Aus? 

I am no longer employed as a Paramedic around Manchester.....................(an amazing bunch of people to work with) 

Because I am now employed as a Paramedic for the Welsh ambulance service 

I am finally home 

following some intense interviews, clinical tests and a months' worth of blue light emergency driving assessments ... I got the Job for the people of Wales (and England as we operate over the border).. I am proud to serve all before me, regardless, it is a privilege to serve all.....

I have also found a very small 350-year-old! cottage in a small village ...that I have been accepted for a mortgage for.

I have to be honest I have had many 'wobbles' over the past few months... I am in some ways my own worst enemy...maybe I like to test / torture myself.. for example, I have set up a screen saver on my desktop computer ..it scrolls past pictures of my children and my life in Australia ...I love seeing my children's pictures scroll past, aaaaand it absolutely destroys me at the same time .... I miss them, that aching has not and will never go away...

My wife (ex wife) I cannot as yet get used to the past tense in that statement, has definitely moved on as she has had a number of ..liasons, dates what ever you want to call them...and has now got a stable partner again, I am happy that she is happy again.....but it is a very bitter pill to swallow. If I am honest....I still miss her ... I carry my wedding ring around with me in my 'manbag' which goes every where with me ....yes I know this is not probably  healthy but it suits me ..for now...after all I am thousands of miles away, I recently went on a coffee date....I enjoyed myself (nothing physical), I was honest, ridiculous though it sounds I felt guilty for meeting another women...I guess its to soon for me....

Many times I have wanted to go back...but the logical part of me realises that that would be harder than staying put....plus my wife (ex) has said I cannot go back.....

being single again, in mid-life presents new challenges, it is at times very lonely and without purpose, once you have been a functional father being without your children and partner  sets you adrift .... I now can see those that are also invisible, ....as I am also invisible....I shop at the large super-markets ...I sometimes feel embarrassment, ...a cursory nod to those in the same boat ...until you wear the uniform of singularity you will not know how this feels..... I have never noticed to quote the Beatles ' All the lonely people' before.....(next time you are shopping really take a look)...its the person with a small milk and micro meals....

Anyhow I am hopeful to complete on my (and my children's) small cottage in a small Welsh village within the next month...it needs work...but then so do I  .... don't we all....I absolutely love my Job....I make a difference , every day.... I make sure of it.....the 93 yr. old who was my patient recently...we both sat and ate cake and tea ...we may be from different decades... but we are the same .....

 

 

 

Glad to see you are getting on with things best you can.

Not many people would have been strong enough to do what you’ve done, although leaving your kids is the hardest thing anyone could do, you have had to do it too save yourself.

Time to get on tinder and have some fun

[Jennyrose Shields]

I knew on arrival but had to stay for husbands job . Now 20 yrs later we have no choice but to return to the UK . In our 60s and I have ill health and cannot afford the medical fees in Australia . 
been on the waiting list for knee hips and shoulder replacements told it will be 3 more yrs or more . 
cannot afford the private system unless we sell our home then we would be homeless . 

So returning back to the UK buying a small bungalow in Cheshire . 12/18 mths for my hips and knee but will be quicker for the shoulder as that’s classed as an emergency as it effects my breathing if I get a cold and cough. 
leaving behind 2 sons 5 grandchildren . 
But as one said they can never afford to buy a house in Sydney so may well follow us depending on their partners . 

As a retired person my advice is to make a list of pros and cons Before you turn 50 ys . 

 

[InnerVoice]

1 hour ago, Jennyrose Shields said:

I knew on arrival but had to stay for husbands job . Now 20 yrs later we have no choice but to return to the UK . In our 60s and I have ill health and cannot afford the medical fees in Australia . 
been on the waiting list for knee hips and shoulder replacements told it will be 3 more yrs or more . 
cannot afford the private system unless we sell our home then we would be homeless . 

So returning back to the UK buying a small bungalow in Cheshire . 12/18 mths for my hips and knee but will be quicker for the shoulder as that’s classed as an emergency as it effects my breathing if I get a cold and cough. 
leaving behind 2 sons 5 grandchildren . 
But as one said they can never afford to buy a house in Sydney so may well follow us depending on their partners . 

As a retired person my advice is to make a list of pros and cons Before you turn 50 ys . 

 

@Jennyrose Shields sorry about your situation. How much would it cost privately in Australia?

[Marisawright]

2 hours ago, InnerVoice said:

@Jennyrose Shields sorry about your situation. How much would it cost privately in Australia?

Hip replacement on its own, about $30,000

[Marisawright]

3 hours ago, Jennyrose Shields said:

As a retired person my advice is to make a list of pros and cons Before you turn 50 ys . 

This is such good advice.  Every now and then, we'll see someone post here, saying they don't feel at home in Australia but they'll stay because of the higher pay or the better house or whatever, then they'll retire 'back home'.   It doesn't work like that, as you're discovering.  If you wait till retirement age, it's often too late, whether that's because of family or because you can't afford it.   If someone doesn't see Australia as their forever home, it's much better to move at 50, when they've still got time to establish themselves.

Best of luck with your move home and hope you get the treatment you need asap.

 

Edited April 15, 2023 by Marisawright

[NickyNook]

Hip replacement if you have private health insurance has an average out of pocket cost of $1120.