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bug family

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bug family last won the day on March 10

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  1. bug family

    Still here and still feel the pull

    Hi Lucia, I totally understand where you are at, I posted the question on here ' how long before your realised that Australia was or was not the place you wanted to spend the rest of your days' in the UK CHAT section, have a look if you get a chance there are many who share similar experiences to you. My own experience is very similar to yours, my wife, myself and our then 3 year old (Daniel) moved over some 11 years ago to Perth from the U.K. this was then closely followed by her parents and brother, During the 11 years here we have had another child Emily who is now 9 years old and is a real daddys girl We had initially set a time limit of ten years maximum stay before we even left the UK and then 'WE' are going back home'....fast forward 11 years and the 'WE' unfortunately has turned to 'I' am going back home'..... I will be leaving in another month or so just waiting to get confirmed dates, I retrained as a paramedic out here and am going back to work for the NHS, .....leaving my children here will be so very,...very hard....the most difficult thing i have ever done.... My wife and I are no longer together, although we live together and are good friends we are now legally separated...... My point of telling you this is that we came here as a strong happily married couple just like you, but homesickness and longing to go home takes a toll.....it has cost me my marriage and a lot more besides, ...the move back is very bitter sweet, I get to go back to where I belong ...but without the people I love (my children) However I intend to work hard get a mortgage and set up a house again (hopefully) and give them the opportunity of another home in another part of the world where they will be able to live, should they choose to do so when they are older. It hit home for me the other day when I had to fill out a form for my new employer that asked questions about who I am traveling with and bringing over to the UK.....Alongside each question, partner,children, animals etc I wrote the word 'none' .... For me Australia has given me a new chance at life , a new career, I have met some amazing people and for that I am very grateful, but it was never going to be a full stop for me, just a comma, an adventure, to see and live another life, which it has been ... I have said many times that life is truly so very short (I see this everyday)....I hope you find happiness and can resolve this, take care p.s. feel free to message me anytime if you need a chat or want someone to vent to
  2. I am sorry to hear this about your dad, I am sure this is very personal for you and I appreciate everyone's input on this . I am not leaving my children for good though, yes the logistics and heartache of seeing them every now and then will be difficult, but not impossible, I am their dad and I will move mountains see them again of that I am sure It is funny in life how history repeats itself, when i was a child we as a family moved to South Africa for a few years, this was due to my father being attached to the south African government (for some reason) as an advisor from the Royal Air force (R.A.F). At the time I was a bit younger than my daughter Emily's age (6 or 7 yrs old) and I remember my mum being terribly home sick, after a year or so my mum and younger sister left and went back to the UK to live, leaving myself and my brother with my dad, and then out the blue approximately about a year later my brother and I where told we where going back to the U.K.and put on a plane without my dad and traveled unaccompanied back to the UK......I did not see my dad again for a number of years.... no real explanation just that he was 'working for the RAF / British government'. He eventually returned to the UK some years later and life resumed as normal.............some twenty years later my dad sat us down one day and produced a letter and asked us to read it, the letter was from the then South African government, it was a pardon and exonerated him from any wrong doing and stated that if he wished to do so, he could return to South Africa without fear of arrest. I admit it reads like a spy novel but apparently all them years without my dad had not been spent working, he was in fact arrested and first of all put in prison and subsequently put under house arrest, due to being found in possession of some sensitive documents (not sure who they where sensitive to the British or south African government)....he wanted us to read the letter as he always felt ashamed for leaving us all them years previously and wanted us to know why and that it was not his fault.........My dad sadly died some 15 years ago now (from an accidental event) .........I miss my dad and think of him often, he was a brilliant dad and a very interesting character.......the time spent apart from him all them years previously as a child did not cause me to resent him or diminish my love for him one bit
  3. Thank you for sharing this insight Ramot, this must have been a very difficult part of your life, It will as I have said before be one of the hardest things I have ever done, leaving them makes me catch my breath, and there are days and nights when I stop and think can I really do this.........but when I work out the options there are few for me to choose from and none of them work out to be satisfactory and without some pain, I do know that it would be totally impractical and unfair to remove them from their lives, friends and school here and try and fit them into what is going to be a hectic new start back home, The best I can do for them is to leave them here with their mum in their own house, going to the school they know, living in an area that is "home" to them, once i have set up (hopefully 6 months) then I will fly them over for their long school holidays, and hopefully in time, if they would like to, they can come and live in the U.K. with me, when I do eventually get a house i have told them there will be their own bedroom waiting for them. I sincerely hope that the job that I will be doing back home will allow me to concentrate on other peoples lives and therefore hopefully not leave me time to dwell on my own to much
  4. No ...that is why i am moving to Wales lol , Yes absolutely, I love England (Scotland, Ireland, Wales) it is home, it is where I feel I belong, its my place on the planet why wouldn't I? .....interested to know what you think Parley
  5. My opinion of a 'success of it', maybe very different from yours or anyone else's, how do you define a success is it in material wealth or experience's had whilst living in a foreign land ? Also how long before you realise that you have made a bad choice, surely this can only been determined retrospectively, by which time it is to late, is there a time limit on this? what if by that time your family are settled and years have gone by. I have fitted in and have also made some great friends here, and trust me I am going back to where I came from, It is no slight on Australia or disrespect to the people here, for me I came, I lived, I saw and preferred where I came from.......
  6. Literally you definitely can 'go back', but yes I agree you will take away from where ever you have lived what ever your experience has brought to you, living abroad you cannot help to compare and the experience can either be positive or negative or as most will find a bit of both, even though in some ways Australia has not worked out for me and I am firm in where is my home i will take some positives away when I leave here
  7. True it is a bit late now though, i will have to settle for the four seasons back home......i cannot wait
  8. I find that Australia is getting very americanised in all aspects of life, there is a main road with businesses on it in the main town area of where I live, you would swear you are driving through some mexican outlaw town lol
  9. Beautiful, i could sit at one of them tables in the picture with a cup of tea and a sandwich and happily watch the world go by
  10. But the grass is always greener.... having lived in that paradise .... i will take the over size hedges and the crocuses any day......
  11. bug family

    Choosing Arrival Location with Family

    Right o.....just for balance i have worked since I was 15 and never been out of work and worked extremely hard (earlier if you count a paper round ) ....i will leave Australia with a few thousand in my pocket, ... in your opinion $1m to 1.2m as what the average person can afford, not in my or anyone I knows life time...maybe i have been mixing in the wrong circles
  12. Thanks proud Preston, I had an interview with the NHS to go and work as a Paramedic, my plan is to work around the northwest region (Manchester area) and eventually save up a deposit to be able to (hopefully) buy a house back in north wales again at which point I will finally be home I certainly will keep you all updated ....I will bore you silly about my journey back home again trust me
  13. Trust me i am not moving just for the weather maryrose02, although i do love the seasons back home and am not fond of this heat