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proud preston

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proud preston last won the day on December 17 2021

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  1. proud preston

    How to get shut of regret and remorse?!

    @Toots- absolutely right and I think that’s why many can feel a little embarrassed when we whinge about being home sick (I know I do) as no one forced us to move. We are very privileged to be able to choose to live either in 2 or even 3 countries. However ......more often that not its one person in the relationship that is driving the move and the other is swept along with the premise that ‘ it’ll just be two years until we get our citizenship’ One half of the couple wanting the other life whether the decision was made to live here or remain in the UK.
  2. proud preston

    How to get shut of regret and remorse?!

    Thanks all. Heartening to read the responses. I know that sometimes responses from people I don’t know on Poms is really helpful as I feel a pain still whingeing to friends and family. You’re right @Quoll “entertaining regret....” serves no good purpose and is draining. It is a hard job though trying to keep yourself from not looking back. Hoping you do get back soon for a visit.
  3. proud preston

    How to get shut of regret and remorse?!

    Thanks all. Wise words. @Parley- my MIL is the most sweetest person and it really is just ‘news from the other side’ - as we talk each week and there’s only so much to talk about- certainly no agenda etc - It is me that the problem emanates from and my stupid comparisons. As corny and cliche as it is - I need to really appreciate what we do have at present.
  4. proud preston

    How to get shut of regret and remorse?!

    Posted too many times before. Been here nearly 16 years. Homesick all the time but still live a decent life and not battling any depression. Talk to mother in law each week and have such a deep regret and remorse that we took our children /her grand children - then aged 5 and 3 away from all their cousins, aunts/uncles and grandparents. So sad. I hear of my children’s cousins regularly seeing their nanna ( my mother in law) and feel so sad that my children didn’t have that. Also.....husband kept saying ‘ move to Australia for a better life for the kids’ (?!) I see all our nephews and nieces are doing very well in the UK. Uni, travel, good jobs etc How on earth do you ever shake off remorse and regret?! Seems so silly to be a little family of four ( I know I have said this before ) when there is a big extended family back in the UK. (Going back for 4 weeks next month and looking at pictures from Air BnB site and marvelling at how pretty England looks!)
  5. proud preston

    Considering moving back to the UK.

    I also grew up in Lancashire and still have a yearning for it. My children are 18 and 20 and we are just a little family unit here whereas in the UK there are lots of siblings etc. I think whilst your child (and baby to be) are still so young it is the perfect time to go back and allow extended families to enjoy that beautiful time when the children are young. Skip forward to secondary school time and it’s too late. I also wasted lots of time day dreaming about my children going back to attend uni in the UK yet fees were extortionate as classed as non resident. However, in Ireland (where the boys were born) the laws changed as to who would be classed as being entitled to domestic fees - something to do with if your child has spent a few years at school there? Not sure if you’ve even thought that far ahead yet??!! If you’ve got a yearning to do it I hope you’re able to both feel happy with the decision. It’s always hard as to which partner has the overriding decision. Life is experiences and making memories and I wish my children had been able to do this with their loving extended family. All the best.
  6. proud preston

    Still here and still feel the pull

    @Lucia I really feel for you. My mum died 2 yeas ago. I was there as she passed. At that time we had lived here for 13 years. Poor love had dementia. Prior to her dementia taking hold she would ask me so often ‘Do you think you’ll ever come back to England?’ and add - ‘ I really miss you’ My deep regret is missing out on the 13 years of my mum’s life. We were always so close and I begrudgingly moved over here. I would have loved to have been able to see her far more regularly - even if I’d lived in London and she in Lancashire - better than the Southern Hemisphere. Sometimes I want to sob so much with regret and deep sadness. I miss her so much and I miss what life may have been like had we not moved here. I miss siblings too. I have 5 and we get on really well. There’s times when I say to myself ‘ what the $&ck am I doing here?!’ Seems madness to move to the other side of the world when there was nothing wrong with the life I had back home. My husband thought that this would be a great opportunity for us as a family and I (sick of my job at the time) agreed - thinking it was a ‘2 year thing’ I wish you all the best. I could not stand to leave my teenage sons - who really are Australians now and I know that I just have to ‘bury it’ as has been mentioned. Things could be a lot worse and sometimes I need to remind myself of that. Thank goodness for British telly!
  7. Yet Peter Dutton talks of sending weapons to Taiwan if any acts of aggression from China...I don't necessarily think we are safer where we are....global warming will probably be felt worse here too...forest fires and floods
  8. There'll be nothing boring about your posts - I will be looking forward to reading them. Well done with the NHS interview! The rain here in Brisbane last weekend has really unnerved me. I know it rains in the UK, and yes there are occasional floods, but nothing of this magnitude. I can feel anxiety creeping up just now there has been another heavy shower. I can't live in a country long term with these more frequent floods. I was talking to a lovely woman today in her late 70's- she is finally returning to New Zealand- she loved the flora and fauna of Aus but felt that NZ was a lot more "gentle"- landscape, people and climate. Thought that NZ related very much to the UK whereas (lately) Australia was leaning towards the U.S.
  9. @bug family What was the interview for? Great it was successful! I think many people will be thinking about the UK after this scary, relentless rain. Oh my god. It certainly is feast or famine in Australia. Keen to hear the next part of your journey.
  10. proud preston

    Stuck in ‘Paradise’

    @Chortlepuss and @Blue Flu- agree entirely with your posts
  11. proud preston

    Stuck in ‘Paradise’

    @BrisPaul Interesting to read your experience. When did you start to feel that it was the wrong decision? As I am reading I'm wondering if you both think about the "what if we'd just stayed put in the UK and never migrated?" I think for so many of us that migrate there can sometimes be that "wish I'd just stayed put" as once you migrate you can feel a bit like nowhere is really truly home (well I think I do) Good to hear your daughters are now happy at uni. I look at my 2 boys here- both at uni and both still at home in Brisbane. I feel like uni is just an extension of school life and no fun at all. I went to uni in Newcastle and it was the whole fabulous life experience of being away from home. I can't help but feel jealous of nephews and nieces and friends children having a similar "away from home" uni experience in the UK. I'm sick of myself for continuing to grapple with Aus/UK. I'm my own worst enemy. It's always somewhere in my mind. I talk to my siblings each week and I am astounded that they rarely see their GP nowadays and I know that I do appreciate being able to see my GP here whenever I need to- a scary prospect re poor access to a GP; especially as we age. I think you summed it up though regarding spending time with your mum- My loss (and guilt) that I left the UK when mum was 75 and was still here when she was battling with dementia. I was so close to mum and this was probably what I dreaded most when I got swept along with the whole "Australia better life" argument On the subject of boring- I love hiking and camping etc and love the gum trees, wildlife and so on but am feeling it's all a bit "the same"
  12. @bug family Nice. I’ve been saying ‘ Happy Christmas’ to all and getting the response of ‘Merry Christmas’ A time of year that many British either love or hate here. Like Marmite! My British friend in New York State posted a pic of snow, trees with no leaves and low winter sunlight. Bliss.
  13. @Bulya-I think you know what I meant! I like the familiarity of winter in December etc
  14. @Bulya ah if only it was so easy... so....originally decided to move here from Ireland as my husband had a scuba business pre-Australia and wanted to continue diving, boys then got enrolled in schools, jobs etc etc. Even if I lived in a state with seasons it is the "wrong way round"- for me anyway.
  15. @bug family- Agree!! Yes, I miss my siblings immensely but all the things you mentioned are still the same (albeit the countryside gets eaten up for ‘development’ -same world over) and I miss them all. 15 years ago this month we moved here and I still miss buildings, trees, light, seasons etc etc. I know that I always will and ....I do feel bad because it is hard for my husband to know that I’m yearning for home. Again, I’ll stress, I’m not depressed, do not need therapy ....Australia really is, for me, just ‘a different world’ Maybe we need a little SE Qld group that we could meet in person every now and then to have a good old heart to heart without any well meaning advice - just to listen and agree....and some alcohol chucked in for good measure.
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