Miserable and bored

[BrisDubBris]

Out of interest? Has anyone considered going home not from the uk? Irish or any other other nationalities?

 

I'm always surprised when people go to a country that speaks the same language but are shocked to find it is culturally different, well of course it is. Australia isn't everyone's cuppa, same goes for lots of countries. Its all down to personal preference and how you choose to live your life. But I find it a bit objectionable that a people are deeming Australians as unintelligent, beer swilling, sports fanatics, talk about limited perspective. Any country can fulfil a stereotype if you have your blinkers on.

 

I wonder if many people who find the place culturally or historically lacking have invested time in seeking out cultural pursuits? There is so much to see and do. While the culture/cultural dialogue may present itself in a different way it is there. It irks me that people go to a country, don't integrate, make friends or join clubs (that interest them) and say that the country is uninspiring. I tend to think those who are not stimulated by life especially in such a culturally rich country are lacking a bit of "joie de vivre" and if its not that then perhaps its just outright homesickness. But I don't think the country or its people are to blame and its certainly not lack of culture. Dylan Thomas said it right, "Somebody's boring me; I think it's me"...I think that if you waste your time in a country lamenting its woes and not doing anything about it you'll regret it.

 

I understand that some people may not feel at home in a country, endeavour to settle in but it just doesn't feel right. But to say a country is lacking in culture is a bit of a cop out.

 

Top post. Unfortunately, some people are happier blaming everything around them for everything instead of looking in the mirror.

[Guest guest36762]

Top post. Unfortunately, some people are happier blaming everything around them for everything instead of looking in the mirror.

 

I think that's a bit harsh tbh. People commenting that they struggle to have intelligent conversation with Aussies aren't necessarily denigrating the intelligence of the locals, IMO. I'm sure you'd find similar comments made on an aussie expat forum describing the difficulties of making friends in the uk. It comes down to the importance of shared experiences, similar interests (eg football vs afl), shared colloquialisms etc. IMO that's what makes the difference between forming acquaintances and proper friendships: communicating on the same wavelength. THAT is what these posts are about.

It's very easy to make a blanket statement like the one highlighted above; it gains you lots of thanks but really we are all guilty of doing this.

[THEKINGOFSIAM]

Harps, you make some valid points, accepted, but when harpies are referring to us as teflons" you have to question how they have the audacity to come onto a forum and tear the arse out of us seriously!

 

My wife is a migrant, sure she has had her frustrations initially but these lie with her entirely or should I say us, and I find it entirely normal for people to go through a transition period even upto 10/15 years lol, but in all seriousness if I was in Europe working and realised this wasnt for me, I would up sticks and get back to the familiar without blaming the poms, least of all commenting on their level of intelligence.

 

 

KOS

[BrisDubBris]

I think that's a bit harsh tbh. People commenting that they struggle to have intelligent conversation with Aussies aren't necessarily denigrating the intelligence of the locals, IMO. I'm sure you'd find similar comments made on an aussie expat forum describing the difficulties of making friends in the uk. It comes down to the importance of shared experiences, similar interests (eg football vs afl), shared colloquialisms etc. IMO that's what makes the difference between forming acquaintances and proper friendships: communicating on the same wavelength. THAT is what these posts are about.

It's very easy to make a blanket statement like the one highlighted above; it gains you lots of thanks but really we are all guilty of doing this.

 

Fair enough. I agree that a shared experience is the best foundation for a friendship & that why I think joining clubs / groups is a good place to start.

 

I also believe that there are plenty of people that make a huge effort but just can't find that sense of home & return to the UK.

 

There is nothing wrong with going back to the UK at all & I did incorrectly make a broad generalization. What annoys me is when people try to make out that they are going home to the UK because Australians are thick or there in no culture etc.

[eribow]

I tell you what, I've seen ACDC & U2 here in Perth & you could argue that the atmosphere was

a little lack lustre.

But, give me lack lustre any time compared to the Oasis concert I went to in London.

I could not enjoy myself because of the constant barrage of plastic beer glasses full of urine being lobbed indiscriminately at innocent concert goers. That's just plain gross. What ever possesses people to do that?

[Guest guest36762]

Harps, you make some valid points, accepted, but when harpies are referring to us as teflons" you have to question how they have the audacity to come onto a forum and tear the arse out of us seriously!

 

My wife is a migrant, sure she has had her frustrations initially but these lie with her entirely or should I say us, and I find it entirely normal for people to go through a transition period even upto 10/15 years lol, but in all seriousness if I was in Europe working and realised this wasnt for me, I would up sticks and get back to the familiar without blaming the poms, least of all commenting on their level of intelligence.

 

 

KOS

 

Fair do's I hear what you're saying

I think the reason behind a lot of these statements which some might interpret as being insulting is that there is so much emotional and financial investment involved in the whole migration process, especially with kids in tow, putting a strain on relationships etc.

Therefore, rather than simply upping sticks and going home, it tends to end up a bit more messy, with some collateral damage, possibly including unfavourable opinions of a whole nation.

[TerryDXB]

the constant barrage of plastic beer glasses full of urine

 

Nah - it was beer - there's little of no difference between the two :biggrin:

[pinup]

Cant talk for anyone else but I exhausted myself with effort. Went to everything I was invited to, invited people to join us, joined clubs, went to every exhibition and concert that was available. Still didn't feel the same. Went to the O2 in London last week - was blown away by the atmosphere and the crowd.

 

Nothing is as simple as it seems I am afraid - normally down to individual circumstances, preferences etc.

 

Hi Mrsindecision,

 

The whole issue of migration and a decision to move back home is so emotive, I wouldn't underestimate that or think of it as simple decision and certainly don't discredit the choice to do so. If your away from home, especially so far a way and even if you feel a screed of desire to be back home there is nothing wrong with that at all. I don't think its worth stay somewhere if you feel unfulfilled. You can't beat the feeling of being at home where ever that may be, so I'm delighted that you are feeling happy back on home ground and its great that you did try lots of stuff.

 

In general I think the crux of the issue it that it should not feel "the same", by its very virtue (different country) its not the same and never will be. I totally understand people not staying in a country they don't like, my only gripe is the assertion that the country is lacking culturally or or that the people lack intelligence, to me that it stinks of intellectual superiority and shows a very narrow view of the world, you can't expect a country to fulfil the criteria of ones homeland, and when you go abroad where ever that may be to feel fulfilled you have to embrace the difference.

 

I completely understand how Australia in particular would appeal to British cultural sensitivities, but it is a very different country and I can see why people would feel underwhelmed to discover the vast difference between the two especially when moving so far from home. As I said what bothers me is that people discredit the country/people when they feel that their move hasn't worked out but its a bit like a relationship sometimes you don't get on with someone, doesn't necessarily mean they are to blame, you are just different people, same as Oz, just a different country. I wouldn't assume to judge anyone for moving home. I know when I move back to Oz that I'll feel very homesick at times and would love to be back home eating tayto crisps and talking about the politics, banking crisis etc but I'll reserve my judgement of the ozzies and oz because its not their fault they dont have much tastier cheese and onion crisps, a good pint of guinness and a good moan about the state of the nation!

[THEKINGOFSIAM]

Fair do's I hear what you're saying

I think the reason behind a lot of these statements which some might interpret as being insulting is that there is so much emotional and financial investment involved in the whole migration process, especially with kids in tow, putting a strain on relationships etc.

Therefore, rather than simply upping sticks and going home, it tends to end up a bit more messy, with some collateral damage, possibly including unfavourable opinions of a whole nation.

 

 

Mate I hear you, and I am fully conversant with the difficulties involved, my statement was a broad generalisation of course. I work with a fair percentage of poms who I know have had their acclimatisation problems but they have the intellect to realise that what problems that exist lie at their own domain without blaming the nation.

Fortunately we are a pretty decent lot, our doors are always open and they have now settled in well and are a credit to the migrant population.

I realise we do not have the sophistication, and the European culture that so many crave, totally understandable in my books but fgs do the research beforehand if possible. We are a young country!

Our land has many positives , but also the negatives.

 

I have also seen posters make a considerable amount of dough for their return journey, fair play to them, and this must be a first for returnees for many a long year!

 

 

KOS

[mrsindecision]

Hi Mrsindecision,

 

The whole issue of migration and a decision to move back home is so emotive, I wouldn't underestimate that or think of it as simple decision and certainly don't discredit the choice to do so. If your away from home, especially so far a way and even if you feel a screed of desire to be back home there is nothing wrong with that at all. I don't think its worth stay somewhere if you feel unfulfilled. You can't beat the feeling of being at home where ever that may be, so I'm delighted that you are feeling happy back on home ground and its great that you did try lots of stuff.

 

In general I think the crux of the issue it that it should not feel "the same", by its very virtue (different country) its not the same and never will be. I totally understand people not staying in a country they don't like, my only gripe is the assertion that the country is lacking culturally or or that the people lack intelligence, to me that it stinks of intellectual superiority and shows a very narrow view of the world, you can't expect a country to fulfil the criteria of ones homeland, and when you go abroad where ever that may be to feel fulfilled you have to embrace the difference.

 

I completely understand how Australia in particular would appeal to British cultural sensitivities, but it is a very different country and I can see why people would feel underwhelmed to discover the vast difference between the two especially when moving so far from home. As I said what bothers me is that people discredit the country/people when they feel that their move hasn't worked out but its a bit like a relationship sometimes you don't get on with someone, doesn't necessarily mean they are to blame, you are just different people, same as Oz, just a different country. I wouldn't assume to judge anyone for moving home. I know when I move back to Oz that I'll feel very homesick at times and would love to be back home eating tayto crisps and talking about the politics, banking crisis etc but I'll reserve my judgement of the ozzies and oz because its not their fault they dont have much tastier cheese and onion crisps, a good pint of guinness and a good moan about the state of the nation!

 

Hi there, I completely agree with you it is a complete melting pot of situations and perceptions, both broadly and personally.

 

All cultures can be described collectively - whinging poms being one claim made by many ozzies about us and in many cases with good cause.

 

I met many nice australians and many smart Australians, just in my everyday life - I didn't encounter many people who shared the same (am struggling to find the right term) interests as me. Australia is a lovely country and if I ever return I would do so with open eyes. There is a vibrancy to life in the UK that is acknowledged by the many ozzies who spend time here or move here. Also there are many negatives about the UK.

 

The distance is a real shame I am sure if Australia were Spain then I suspect we'd all stay. The distance from home probably makes these differences more pronounced because you cant just pop back for a little bit of what you miss.

[Paul1Perth]

The distance is a real shame I am sure if Australia were Spain then I suspect we'd all stay

 

I have a friend living in Spain. He's retired there luckily so the 20% unemployment doesn't bother him but he said the place he lives in is like an English retirement home and he hasn't even had to bother learning to speak Spanish.

We loved Portugal before we emigrated and thought about moving there. I think the language barrier would be too much to overcome if you have to work and strangely, Perth doesn't seem that far away as everyone speaks English.

[christopher]

Perth's far away from, well everywhere ;-)

[Paul1Perth]

And that's just one of the good things about it!!:cool:

[Guest siamsusie]

Perth's far away from, well everywhere ;-)

 

Yes its far from Brisbane:wink:... but Perth is much closer to Europe, I do notice those extra 3 or 4 hrs on top of a long haul!

 

Closer to Asia, .. 3 hrs to Bali isnt bad:biggrin: which also means cheaper dentistry in Thailand/Singapore etc..

 

Swings and roundabouts I would say.

 

 

Susie

[KIRK AND CO]

I am only going to be quick.

 

I posted on here about 6 months or so ago, about how I was considering moving back to the UK. Well I think that in the next month or so I shall be flying on the big bird. I have been in Oz over three years now and have been living for the last year in Sydney after moving from Victoria.

 

The only easy way that I can describe how I feel is BORED, MISERABLE and SOULLESS, to the extent of utter depression. I have tried to get to grips with the Aussie way, but I really feel that it is not for me anymore. I am not saying that I am the most intelligent person on the planet, but I know that I am good company, I can hold a conversation, have a great sense of humour, and I am interested to learn all the time, especially when engaged in a great meaningful and enjoyable conversation....but when I say conversation, I mean a two way conversation.

 

Has anybody ever tried to hold an interesting conversation while they are here? Of course they have..........When you talk to someone and ask questions about them, do you expect the same in return to keep the conversation going? Of course you do.........Because that is how conversation works.........You say something, and then in return the other person adds something else, then the discussion/conversation builds up. Hopefully on occasions you may even get a really interesting conversation taking place, have a few bevvies and the night flows along nicely.

 

So why can't Australians do this then? It is probably one of the easiest things a person can do and doesn't even cost any money. So apart from the AFL, NRL and other sports, there are a lot of other topics that can be part of a general discussion. I am at a total loss of the total inability of most people here who struggle to even know what the hell is going on in the world, either politically, historically, culturally, or indeed any other word ending with ally. I am 46 and are quite capable of conversing with people from a wide age range, which comes in very handy, especially as I also perform stand up comedy and have done so in numerous countries in the world.

 

But in all my years I have never felt so frustrated and disengaged. I have had better conversations with folks who cannot even speak English in other parts of the globe, and great laughs to go with it.

 

I am not meaning to be disrespectful, I think Oz is a beautiful country, the people are so friendly, but there is a lack of UMPH. I just wanted to say how I was feeling and to let other people know that they are not alone if they feel the same way as what I do.

 

Yours,

 

Peed off........................

Well if that is a quick post then no wonder the ozys dont fancy a long conversation LOL

[deano27]

Really after all that time you haven't settled? Very sad indeed and to be honest when you get back to the UK your woes will be doubled. Having it said that it sounds like you have thought long and hard about it and perhaps coming back to the UK will help.

 

 

Petrol is now £1.40 a litre and the weather is still ****!

 

Still wanna come back...:biggrin:

[christopher]

That's right deano, I can tell you here in Australia, Petrol is free and it never rains.

[bunbury61]

Yes its far from Brisbane:wink:... but Perth is much closer to Europe, I do notice those extra 3 or 4 hrs on top of a long haul!

 

Closer to Asia, .. 3 hrs to Bali isnt bad:biggrin: which also means cheaper dentistry in Thailand/Singapore etc..

 

Swings and roundabouts I would say.

 

 

Susie

 

What cheaper than FREE as it is in the U.K :wink:

[fish.01]

What cheaper than FREE as it is in the U.K :wink:

 

But many have said they then had to pay to get it fixed up when they got to Australia :biggrin:

[deano27]

That's right deano, I can tell you here in Australia, Petrol is free and it never rains.

 

Excellent. sounds like heaven.:biggrin:

 

I am out there next month....can't wait.

[BrisDubBris]

Excellent. sounds like heaven.:biggrin:

 

I am out there next month....can't wait.

 

You can have his spot. He hates it in Aus :biggrin:

[Guest]

What cheaper than FREE as it is in the U.K :wink:

 

Dentist in the UK? Free? Nah :cute: You were joking right :tongue:

 

Ok so you can get an NHS dentist and get work done but you still have to pay for it (unless on benefits etc). And many people simply can't get on the list of an NHS dentist so have to resort to private dental treatment or none at all. And certain stuff you still have to pay privately for if it isn't covered by NHS care.

 

I know one friend moved to a new area and there was not a single NHS dentist taking any patients on. She had to go on a wait list for 3 in the area until one had space many months later.

 

When we moved to our current town 18 months ago I couldn't get registered with a single NHS dentist in the town itself. None had NHS spaces left and were only taking on private patients. I had to call the next two towns and then only one had spaces for the whole family. So we registered with them but we are nowhere near as happy with the practice as we were with our old one. But stuck with them unless we stump up and go private or try to get on non existent waiting lists elsewhere.

 

I love the NHS but its far from perfect. And NHS dentistry is very hit and miss :confused:

[christopher]

Excellent. sounds like heaven.:biggrin:

 

I am out there next month....can't wait.

 

You can also expect to only work 10hours a week, but get paid triple the amount, have bbq's for every meal - at the beach no less, oh and you won't get woken up at 5am by what seems like 5000 cockatoos, and your 4km journey to work honestly won't take 1hour in the car (I'm actually not exagerating on that one :-).

 

 

(yes I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit etc etc ;-)

[Que Sera Sera]

That's right deano, I can tell you here in Australia, Petrol is free and it never rains.

 

 

Well here in Perth today, its $1.32 a litre and it hasnt rained for TEN weeks so pretty close:jiggy:

[ggardemma]

Dentist in the UK? Free? Nah :cute: You were joking right :tongue:

 

Ok so you can get an NHS dentist and get work done but you still have to pay for it (unless on benefits etc). And many people simply can't get on the list of an NHS dentist so have to resort to private dental treatment or none at all. And certain stuff you still have to pay privately for if it isn't covered by NHS care.

 

I know one friend moved to a new area and there was not a single NHS dentist taking any patients on. She had to go on a wait list for 3 in the area until one had space many months later.

 

When we moved to our current town 18 months ago I couldn't get registered with a single NHS dentist in the town itself. None had NHS spaces left and were only taking on private patients. I had to call the next two towns and then only one had spaces for the whole family. So we registered with them but we are nowhere near as happy with the practice as we were with our old one. But stuck with them unless we stump up and go private or try to get on non existent waiting lists elsewhere.

 

I love the NHS but its far from perfect. And NHS dentistry is very hit and miss :confused:

 

 

We have been able to get in as NHS patients at a highly regarded dental surgery within weeks. Put on the list and got a phone call with a couple of weeks maybe we were just lucky. My daughter requires extensive care with yet another brace. Orthodonist care is great here and it is free for kids so takes the worry away of paying for it which we would have had to in Oz. We find the dental care here much better for us as a family. You are right about the hit and miss aspect though our previous surgery before going to Oz was average in comparsion to our new one.