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mrsindecision

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Everything posted by mrsindecision

  1. mrsindecision

    5 year RRV expiring

    We have a PR visa which was valid until 2012 - we returned to the UK in 2010 and got a 5-year RRV in Nov 12 - expiring in Nov 17. we have been back three times in last five years for one-month trips going again in April. We still want to go back on hols and possibly for a longer stint in the next 18 months - can we apply for an RRV again? Are we still technically Permanent Residents? Any advice or recommendations for lawyer that could advise. Also keen to do some business out there in next 18 months to pave the way to longer return, any recommendations as to who can help with business advice as well. Thanks
  2. mrsindecision

    5 year RRV expiring

    OK so perhaps our frequent visits back and plan to launch a branch of my business out there might work??
  3. mrsindecision

    5 year RRV expiring

    Hi Quoll yes that's what I thought. Yes only for fun though this time not for serious. Would like to have the option in retirement to be able to be in both places. Kids very settled here so once grandkids come along I think I will be firmly back in UK. Love life here - but the weather! The winters are hard. If it doesn't work out then we'll get a holiday place in Spain. Are you OK?
  4. mrsindecision

    Poms Going Home to UK (register)

    Well we have been back in UK for 7 years and it has been a really interesting time where we have loved being home but also love everything that our time in Oz gave us. Kids re-integrated at different rates - older two at uni so loved it, younger was teased for Aussie accent but soon managed to get her "Chav on" and fit back in. All have done really well academically and professionally but we have experienced the same problems here with them as we would have in Oz. Work wise we are in a much better position here - took two years to be able to get a mortgage because of being self-employed but bought a run down bungalow and built a very Australian style house that looks completely different in our neighbourhood. We have been back to Aus three times since being home and love going back to see friends and enjoy being back in our second home. We have also met all our Aussie friends in Thailand for a group catch up and the ladies have all been over to stay with us and do the Chelsea show and a UK tour. We have also hosted all of their kids when they come to UK - so every year we have seen or been visited by our dear Aussie/Kiwi friends. As our kids have got older and become adults we have much more freedom to travel as we like - and we get away every time we can whether that's a week in Italy or BnB in France - we seem to meet Aussies wherever we go. We have buried too many of our family members in the last 7 years and helped elderly parents through really difficult illnesses - can't imagine how that would have been had we stayed - horrendous. I have developed a really successful business and DH now looking for semi retirement from NHS - we are thinking of having a grey gap year in Sydney to go back and enjoy the city without any pressure of it being for good. We gave up comparing - there's good and bad in both - the distance from UK is the main problem. If Spain was Australia we'd all live there!
  5. mrsindecision

    House sitting Sunshine Coast

    We are heading back to the Sunshine Coast for most of January to re-visit our friends and enjoy a holiday in what feels like our second home. Just wondered if anyone is coming back to UK for a holiday during that time that might want a house sitter or to rent out their home for two/three weeks to a couple of trustworthy PIOers? Please send me a PM if you are interested in discussing further or know of anyone who might be interested in talking to us? Thanks
  6. mrsindecision

    Mortgages for self-employed returnees

    We were in the same boat even though OH NHS worker - my self employment an issue. Most lenders want at least two if not three years books. We rented for two years and made sure financial year end for accounts was linked to return date (i.e we came back in June - financial year July-June to maximise time for accounts). We went with our own bank in the end (Yorkshire Bank) who are part of NAB group and therefore were willing to include my Aussie accounts in reckoning. They wouldn't lend us the full amount we wanted but we have just topped it up as my year end just finished and now have 3 years UK accounts. Don't think there is a way around it without paying outrageous interest rates. However important to weight up the final costs as in 6 months of having a mortgage we have paid 10k off the capital - we had two years of rent that went nowhere except into landlords' pocket. So might be more cost effective to take higher interest rate just don't tie yourself in for too long.
  7. mrsindecision

    how long did you last in oz before moving back

    3 years on Sunshine Coast, back in UK 3 years, some but few regrets. Kids all thriving here with education and opportunities. Have had plenty of work since returning and this year started my own limited company and loving it, OH back in NHS, some grumbles but being funded for a Masters and actually his job is much better here than in Oz. We loved the adventure of going to Oz and keep strong ties with all our friends there (my oz girlfriends just came for three week UK tour including the Chelsea Flower Show - they loved it). We are just renovating an old bungalow in quite an Aussie style including all the things we loved about our aussie house - laundry, walk ins, open plan kitchen, living, diner. We don't want to lose what we gained from our travels and still think of Oz as a second home. Going back in Jan for a holiday to celebrate my 50th with our friends. We have travelled loads since coming back to UK - USA, NZ, Thailand, Italy, France, Spain could never have afforded that in Oz. You can get a weekend in Europe for £150 - you can't beat that. We are trying to work out a way of having the best of both worlds - 3 months there (oz) and 9 months here (uk) and could see that shifting the other way as we get to retire but loved that we did it and loved that we came back.
  8. more to this one than meets the eye, but she didn't ask him to leave her for someone half his age with no-one out there to support her with young children and then have the courts take their passports. The mature thing would be to resolve marital issues first and consider best interests of all involved and not be so flattered by a young girls attention that you screw up all their lives. Sorry to rant but if this had happened to me I would have been devastated. She is devastated and powerless. When we went out I was staggered at how the women loved my husband - he got so much attention from Ozzie ladies because of his accent - he was oblivious to most of it and it wasn't as issue for us _ i thought it was quite sweet for him (knowing my OH is a decent bloke) I used to get him to negotiate discounts in the electrical store where the saleswoman was clearly smitten - he did great! But for some men with less secure marriages the temptation is too much. The key issue is marital problems follow you anyway and if there are any skeletons in the cupboard a move this big often bring them out - so be prepared.
  9. This was my biggest fear when we were in oz that my kids would want to stay and I would be trapped forever. I would have adapted but it wouldn't have been my choice. Fortunately they loved their time in oz but are flourishing back in uk. I miss the beauty and wish oz had been better than it is but reality is what we need to live with. The thing about the kids is so important - have friends who went out- he had an affair(Ozzie girls love the accent) they split up - now he has refused permission for her to take kids home not even for a visit she's well and truly trapped. You don't think it would happen to you but you don't know.
  10. mrsindecision

    once linked to oz always linked to oz

    Thanks everyone for your honest replies has helped me get some perspective - truth is oh never been happy wherever we have been. me and kids more settled types - I could have been more settled in ozif he was but the fact is he wasn't and he wanted to be indoors watching tv made me furious - i couldnt understand why we moved there for that - i didnt mind in uk because I had a life , friends, hobbies, work , good social life which he joined in so we had a balance we also enjoyed our evenings home cooking and chilling- when we lived in uk oh did more ( diving on holiday etc) in oz he didn't want to do anything - no boatin, fishin, campin, was all odd. I used to go to the beach on my own - all the while I had given up the things in the uk I loved to do this with him so you can imagine how frustrated I was. Now I am getting back into life here busy with work which is going great guns - professional business making good money - back in the zone with my bezzies, travelling Europe and uk etc. new hobbies. OH doing great at work, also on film sets on the side which he loves, cooking up a storm, doing a masters and time to chill and watch his tv - but still unhappy and pining for oz. We haven't found a house yet - too fussy and don't want to lose any money - but our rental is lovely and feels like home. I know he is going to hanker forever - I guess that's down to him not me. You are so right about kids have decided to let my son fly and give him my blessing and keep everything crossed we will be ok Thanks F
  11. mrsindecision

    once linked to oz always linked to oz

    Because we moved to oz with three kids I was lucky that they all came back with us. My middle one was adamant about coming back to the Uk at 18 - now he's 20 and has been back to Oz to see all of his friends on a visit - he loved it again and I think is now planning to return. Also my husband has not settled since we came back - but was equally ( in fact more) unsettled there. I am just about over this nagging connection with Australia that I think will be with me forever. Would I feel so bad about my son if we had never gone and he went backpacking? Will my husband ever settle here without resenting something about being back. Although it was a fabulous experience there are times when I wish we had never bothered. Any words of insight - anyone else got the same stuff happening?
  12. mrsindecision

    Sick to death of this rain

    Hi Connie, got to agree, last summer I thought was great, started early and stayed relatively warm and dry for a long time. This wet has gone on too long. Having said that I was coming home from London on the train yesterday and saw the Thames in Maidenhead and it couldn't have looked more beautiful. Low mist, willows hanging and a rower on the still water. Wish I had a camera and could have captured it - made me appreciate the variety.
  13. mrsindecision

    What do/will you miss about Australia?

    Been home nearly 2 years and have had two holidays with all our ozzie mates in that time. So here goes: I miss The sunshine The beach Boost juice (although they are starting to come here) Iced chocolate Having a pool (although this is not a reality miss because all my husband did was curse about cleaning the bloody thing and no one using it - nice pond) Clean wide streets THE PIES (seriously they are lovely in Oz - not sausage rolls I must add - you can't beat Gregg's or the cornish pasty shop). Watching the birds fly in over our lake at the end of the day Sydney Being adventurous Don't miss: Loud mouth aussies (sorry please don't take offence if you are not a loud mouth - just been to Thailand and was reminded of this type of aussie - much like those brits in south of spain) Bland conversation ( again sorry no offence but from my perspective English conversation is the thing I love the most) Woollies closing at 5pm on a Saturday and poor choice Expensive everything The bugs (uk is big free compared to qld) Feeling so alone The dark evenings all year round The crap telly Tyrannical bosses Love about UK: Countryside and dog walking culture - friendly, chatty, beautiful. Pubs Restaurants (variety and quality) London - an amazing city Normal service - not gushy just genuinely helpful Fashion!! Choice Europe Telly Cool weather Boots Free tickets for BBC shows The education Feeling alive Middle class people ( I know awfully snobby - but very polite, helpful and on the whole funny and interesting) Light evenings Hate about Uk gum on the streets arrogant rudeness kids who are aggressive chavs shitty housing estates moaning Good to map it out - can see I have made the right choice.
  14. mrsindecision

    Moving back to UK in six to nine months

    coming back is like starting again and agree with earlier posts that you have to treat it as a new stage - one friend of mine is treating it like another ex-pat posting. I do love England and the humour etc. It is true you don't always fit back in friends have moved on and also don't realise just how lost you are feeling. So you need to re-calibrate your thinking and approach it with new eyes. I personally wouldn't have come back if one of us didn't have a job and have good funds to set us back up again - important to get this in order. South East Pretty good from where I am sitting - I am so busy with work it's crazy but I am in the right trade at the right time. House prices still high and we are fussy - so still haven't found a home to call our own, having said that renting a lovely house so all good. I have had to face empty nest as well coming back as older kids off to uni so where my life was full of cooking and teenage dramas I am now a bit lost in the evenings - can feel an evening class coming on. At least we have choice here. Good luck xx
  15. mrsindecision

    sometimes I feel in no mans land

    Hi all, Been back in Uk for 18 months now and it has been a tale of two halves - half the time loving it half the time missing the good bits of oz (not everything). Generally all the things we returned for have panned out - most of all the kids education and fixing some of the holes in our relationship that became gaping in Oz ( we've done a really good job of that and are really enjoying our marriage properly). Kids doing brilliantly at uni and loving the vibrancy of London life. School going really well for my daughter and despite her never wanting to come back she now loves UK and has a really tight group of friends who she feels she can trust. My work is going brilliantly and I really love it and my OH is also doing really well at work (neither compare to our work in Oz). But I have days - like today where I still feel like i don't fit in anywhere. Family are great - but they haven't changed - except I have and have a more positive can do attitude which I think they all find a bit annoying. It has taken time for my close friendships to get back on track - mainly because of serious illness of one of them and also - once again I have changed - I think nothing of whizzing into London for a mooch along the Thames - or flying up the motorway to see the Christmas markets in Birmingham - life for them is kept to a small radius and I suspect they think I am a bit nuts. On the other hand I get jealous that they are so contented with "ordinary" lives - and they genuinely are - lovely homes, friends, jobs and happy lives. Whereas I seem to be seeking something I can't find. I dream of the good bits of Oz (which for me is my friends, the beach and sunshine) - but love the good bits about here (vibrancy, countryside, pubs, conversation, food and a good good laugh). I definitely wouldn't want to go back as I remember how lost I felt there - and certainly my kids wouldn't go back - but the adventure of it took us out of ordinary lives for a while and now I can't seem to go back. Anyone else felt like this and any tips on working through it. Oh and I guess a big piece of the jigsaw is that we haven't found a house yet (still renting). We sooo don't want to accept a step backwards as we had a lovely house in UK before we left and a lovely house in Oz - everything here is still overpriced (near London) and despite recession house sellers still asking too much. Our money sitting safely in the bank not making anything - but safe all the same - so am being patient. Maybe a home will fix my lost feeling - i don't know - would love to hear form others about the transition and handling the crappy days. Thanks for reading my ramblings.
  16. mrsindecision

    thank you everyone

    :hug: you're right this forum can give so much comfort when you are feeling like a fish out of water. Hopefully once you and the kids get settled and meet a few people it would help. Perhaps you should post on the meet ups section and see if there are any gatherings locally - take a deep breath and join in - you might meet some like minded people. Also why don't you tell yourself you are there for a few years and try to enjoy the adventure knowing at some point in the future you will come home. Also don't beat yourself up for not feeling settled - its a bit thing you have done - so well done for giving it a go. All the best and keep in touch on here so you know you are not on your own.
  17. mrsindecision

    sometimes I feel in no mans land

    like your thinking although always been a bit of a dweller so hard to break the habits of a lifetime, although often my dwelling on things allows me to find a solution - so hoping that will arrive soon. Thanx
  18. mrsindecision

    Thinking about going home.

    I too think its normal for your kids to respond the way they have and I am sure they will settle more over time. However our experience was that the kids made friends but they weren't as connected with their humour, love of music, interest in the world as they were used to. references to world history/events were lost on many of their friends (not in a nerdy way but relating to movies and games), many knew little about basic world facts that mine took for granted having had a good secondary education (this is coming from them - not me) - so although they really enjoyed their three years in Oz they love their life back in UK more where they can take the mickey out of mates and have it taken back in a fun way. However I know plenty of UK teenagers who have settled really well and been far more in tune with their peers. I notice mine were quite bored with the beach early on ( i loved it but ended up going on my own most of the time) and spent a lot of time online listening to Radio 1!!!! Says a lot hey. I used to spedn my saturdays cleaning listening to the Archers so I was just as bad!! Give it time and you will know if it is for you or not. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
  19. mrsindecision

    sometimes I feel in no mans land

    Thanks for the hugs - to be honest I think we went to Oz genuinely believing we would have a better life and were frankly disappointed with it - in that our work and education options for us were worse than UK. But it was a pretty adventurous thing to do with teenagers and we stepped out of "ordinary" life for a while - and we don't want to step back in so readily. I love my work and that is really growing so i love that but I do work alone a lot of the time. I think I need some new local friends ( have great friends all over the country) so agree I need to organise myself to joining a club and making the effort I made in Oz to meet new people so my past experience and the "changed me" is normal to new people I get to meet (if that makes sense!! Thanks
  20. mrsindecision

    sometimes I feel in no mans land

  21. mrsindecision

    Happy in the Old Dart

    I am shocked that you can compare the ABC to the BBC - they are light years apart - I used to find listening to the ABC and their pseudo english accents like the BBC 20 years ago. Radio 4 is fantastic - but this was never a problem for me in Oz as I used the internet to listen. However I agree with the sentiments of the article and look at Britain through different eyes since returning - it is great to walk through the countryside and your only worry is whether you need to dodge a cow pat. And there's nothing scary about a squirrel!! It's horses for courses both are beautiful countries, no one denies the beauty of Australia but I think us English can frequently fail to see the beauty in our own country which abounds.
  22. mrsindecision

    What to expect from relocation...

    I love this post because almost everything in it could be said of regional Australia and also the same re friendships. Work is scarce in many parts of Oz and the landscape can also be very bleak - of course it can also be glorious just like UK. I do think the english are a bit more reserved about making friends initially and there's nothing like your old muckers who know you from back then. I made great friends in Oz but I am as close to a professional friend maker as you can get. But coming home to my old friends was great too. I think its great you appreciate your husbands desire to go home and will go with him and as you say nothing has to be forever.
  23. mrsindecision

    What to expect from relocation...

    Great post very true - countryside is beautiful though and shopping great, TV good and shows festivals etc all over the place you definitely don't need to be bored here. Just need good layers, a good hat and boots in the coldest months.
  24. I worked 6 days a week most weeks in oz, mainly from home (lonely) and if I was away from my computer for half an hour my boss was ringing to see where I was. In sydney and melbourne every other week - the airport shuttle used to arrive at my house at 4.30am and I would be working with client until 8pm at night then staying in cheap hotel on my own. The work was also way behind here and I was more like a PA to my (male) boss. Here I am a proper consultant - travel in UK couple of times a month - all there and back in a day on train. Work is far more advanced and interesting - no-one checks on me - I am expected to manage my own projects workload and time - can pop out for lunch when I like, without anyone querying, or knock off early for a walk and a pint with my husband. He works shifts so if he is off in the week I can take time off with him and if he is working at the weekend I can work then to catch up. His work is also better - more control and autonomy, good shift pattern, lots of block days off. We just miss having the option to go to the beach, and when its grey - miss the sunshine. But we also have some great woodland and river walks here - plus good food and great pubs.
  25. yes year round evening darkness in qld was awful - although we're in teh dark season now in Uk I know it wont last and the long evenings really do seem to go on for a long time here. Even though its still warm to be outside you then have all the evening bugs to contend with - we were inside or under cover far more there than here. Odd hey.
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