Quality of life for kids

[Beckfield]

On 2/20/2018 at 15:30, MissMissingEurope said:

Hi everyone, i'm a new member on here but a long-time reader of the MBTTUK forum! I've been in Perth for 8 years now with my husband and have 2 kids who are 4 and 1. We are all dual UK/Aus citizens. We have been considering moving back for years now and have pretty much decided that we will do it, but it will take us a couple of years to organise everything and save up enough money to do it. We have already ping-ponged once over 10 years ago so we are aware that both places have their pros and cons and we aren't looking at the UK through rose-tinted glasses/with a grass is greener outlook. 

Reasons for moving back: wanting to be closer to friends and family, boredom with Perth, not liking the isolation, hating suburbia, bored of the samey weather and lack of distinct seasons, missing Europe (oh so much! I have NEVER stopped missing Europe since we arrived here) and the ability to travel cheaply, wanting our kids to grow up being able to experience all the Europe has to offer instead of living in the insular bubble that is Perth. 

We aren't sure where in the UK we will move back to yet. I feel that if we are going to move back, we need to do it soon because if we stay here too long we will get "stuck" here.. our kids will become proper aussies, they will attend high school then probably uni in oz, may settle and have kids here and then it will be so hard to move back! At least if we move soon and it doesn't work out, we can always come back before the kids start high school (though i doubt we would do that). I have met elderly British people here who long to go back to the UK but are stuck here because they have kids and grandkids here. I just cannot see myself living here into old age. 

The thing is, whenever I mention this plan to anyone (family included), I get really negative reactions and people telling me that it would be a terrible mistake to move our kids away from this place that apparently is "the best place in the world to raise kids". They make out like the UK is some third world country that's a terrible place for families and it really makes me worry that they are right and we are going to make a terrible mistake. They also comment on how awful the UK weather and act like we would be crazy to go back to it but honestly, i''m bored of the Perth weather.. i'm sure i'll miss the heat but weather is not everything. 

Because of the negative reactions, sometimes I feel like giving up on the dream of going back and just accepting that the best thing for our kids is just to stay here, even if we don't want to. Then again, I don't want to look back in 10 or 20 years and think "what if?"

I guess i'm just looking for some reassurance from someone.. did you move with young kids and find that it was actually ok? Do your kids have a good quality of life in the UK? Has anyone had similar negative reactions from people?

 

Hi MissMissingEurope, I hear what you're saying about wanting to go but still feeling doubts due to others' opinions.  Personally I don't think this country is any better than anywhere else as far as raising kids is concerned. The western world now seems to be blending into one and Australia is largely adopting American ways, values, morals and habits.   There are good things about living here, for sure, but it's not paradise as it's often painted to be and the climate is becoming so hot that in the not too distant future large chunks of it will be uninhabitable.  We now have regular blocks of summer when the temps stay in the mid 40's. When I was a kid 30 was considered a heatwave.  Not any more.    I too have lived in WA and felt cut off from not only the world but also from the rest of the country.  I hope you arrive at the decision which is best for your family, despite others' views - including mine!  Wish you all the very best. 

[Parley]

2 hours ago, Gbye grey sky said:

Ditto.

We are all loving life here but the beaches are not a factor.  I probably spent more time on beaches on annual holidays to the Med than I have here.

Then again though if you are into swimming, surfing, jetski’ing, boating canoeing, or fishing there is nowhere better for these activities year round.

Mate you are a bloke in your late 50s.

The thread is about quality of life for kids and what parents want for their kids.

And outdoor healthy lifestyle is a big factor and especially the beach.

[Skani]

1 hour ago, Parley said:

Mate you are a bloke in your late 50s.

The thread is about quality of life for kids and what parents want for their kids.

 

He is a parent with a "kid".  More qualified to comment than you who did not migrate to Oz with kids.

[Gbye grey sky]

2 hours ago, Parley said:

Mate you are a bloke in your late 50s.

The thread is about quality of life for kids and what parents want for their kids.

And outdoor healthy lifestyle is a big factor and especially the beach.

I am also the father of a 14 year old.

[Parley]

Why does everyone move to Ausralia then if not for the quality of life ?

What other reason could there possibly be ?

[Quoll]

42 minutes ago, Parley said:

Why does everyone move to Ausralia then if not for the quality of life ?

What other reason could there possibly be ?

Adventure, Good job offer, Family ties, Escape from something worse, Short term expediency, Marriage. 

Theres no issue with swapping one first world country for another, quality of life pretty much the same. Quality of life is more than sun and sand although advertising like WDU would have you believe different. 

 

[VERYSTORMY]

1 hour ago, Parley said:

Why does everyone move to Ausralia then if not for the quality of life ?

What other reason could there possibly be ?

Erm, pretty much no one. It's a first world country which offers about the same as any other first world country. 

[bristolman]

1 hour ago, Parley said:

Why does everyone move to Ausralia then if not for the quality of life ?

What other reason could there possibly be ?

People move to different countries for all sorts of reasons. Why do people move to the UK in their droves ? When my parents moved to Australia sand and sea was nowhere in the equation. 

[Saurer Pfirsich]

2 hours ago, Parley said:

Why does everyone move to Ausralia then if not for the quality of life ?

What other reason could there possibly be ?

In my case, to give my Australian wife the chance to be nearer to her folks, and our kids the opportunity to spend some meaningful time with their maternal grandparents before they pass on.

Lifestyle-wise we pretty much live as we did in the UK really - except for me having to get up in the middle of the night if I want to watch football!

My wife and I work longer hours than we did back home, but we've both been promoted since moving out here so we earn more and have shorter commutes which is great. But, like most middle-aged couples anywhere, our weekends are generally spent running the kids to their various sports and social activities and doing chores around the house. Once we're done, we generally flop into a heap with a glass of wine and some Netflix! 

 

 

[bristolman]

3 minutes ago, Saurer Pfirsich said:

In my case, to give my Australian wife the chance to be nearer to her folks, and our kids the opportunity to spend some meaningful time with their maternal grandparents before they pass on.

Lifestyle-wise we pretty much live as we did in the UK really - except for me having to get up in the middle of the night if I want to watch football!

My wife and I work longer hours than we did back home, but we've both been promoted since moving out here so we earn more and have shorter commutes which is great. But, like most middle-aged couples anywhere, our weekends are generally spent running the kids to their various sports and social activities and doing chores around the house. Once we're done, we generally flop into a heap with a glass of wine and some Netflix! 

 

 

Come on now, you spend all your free time having barbies on the beach don't you

[bristolman]

Look all joking aside it's pretty clear that neither country just automatically gives kids a better quality of life, for our own boys this country is definitely giving them a better life BUT if they were into say surfing then Australia would win out obviously. The idea that Australia gives kids a better quality of life is foolish and quite frankly wishful thinking. 

[starlight7]

Horses for courses - my lot have thrived over here and they have all lived in the Uk as well ( late teen/early twenties rite of passage stuff).  They much prefer it here I am pleased to say because I would miss them badly if they went to live over there.  They waltzed into good jobs in London and loved the lifestyle but only for a while, not for long term.

[bunbury61]

yes it is horses fir courses ....my daughters are here in the u.k , very much living the life .

I picked the youngest up from bham airport last night ,after a week in Tenerife

my wife and eldest ,were at the alandra theatre in brum watching Shrek ( theatre production )

train in and out £3.20 each . ...fantastic train service

.the eldest hasn't long got back from l.a and Vegas .

personally , if I have to park myself anywhere it has to be here , for all its faults

 

[Toots]

1 hour ago, starlight7 said:

Horses for courses - my lot have thrived over here and they have all lived in the Uk as well ( late teen/early twenties rite of passage stuff).  They much prefer it here I am pleased to say because I would miss them badly if they went to live over there.  They waltzed into good jobs in London and loved the lifestyle but only for a while, not for long term.

Yes my two are both working overseas now too.  One in Ireland and one in New York.  I've done my stint of travelling and have lovely memories.  It's their turn now.  I've reached the stage where airports and planes do absolutely nothing for me.  Pity I can't just press a button and arrive at my destination.   

[bristolman]

1 hour ago, bunbury61 said:

yes it is horses fir courses ....my daughters are here in the u.k , very much living the life .

I picked the youngest up from bham airport last night ,after a week in Tenerife

my wife and eldest ,were at the alandra theatre in brum watching Shrek ( theatre production )

train in and out £3.20 each . ...fantastic train service

.the eldest hasn't long got back from l.a and Vegas .

personally , if I have to park myself anywhere it has to be here , for all its faults

 

Yes, can't think of anywhere I would rather be to be fair. 

[bunbury61]

47 minutes ago, Toots said:

Yes my two are both working overseas now too.  One in Ireland and one in New York.  I've done my stint of travelling and have lovely memories.  It's their turn now.  I've reached the stage where airports and planes do absolutely nothing for me.  Pity I can't just press a button and arrive at my destination.   

agree with that toots .....where iam situated is very good .....bhan airport is actually in solihull ( as is the nec ) .

my daughter rang me when she picked her cases up in arrivals ....15 minutes later I picked her up ...and away .

same with trains ,we are 10 min walk from the station

[ali]

46 minutes ago, bunbury61 said:

agree with that toots .....where iam situated is very good .....bhan airport is actually in solihull ( as is the nec ) .

my daughter rang me when she picked her cases up in arrivals ....15 minutes later I picked her up ...and away .

same with trains ,we are 10 min walk from the station

Sounds like you live near me (although we're about  20 mins away from the airport)

[MissMissingEurope]

On 24/02/2018 at 04:14, Tulip1 said:

Did you visit Europe a lot then when you were in the UK

Yes I did and I have family and friends living in a few different countries in Europe. I miss being able to go and visit them. I can't afford to from Perth, especially with 2 kids.. it would cost just as much to move back so that's what i'd like to do! 

[Peach]

It sounds as though your family and friends are getting on with their own lives across Europe and you're giving up your own independent life (and that of your kids) just to be part of theirs.  Shouldn't they be trying harder to be part of your life?

[MissMissingEurope]

1 hour ago, Peach said:

It sounds as though your family and friends are getting on with their own lives across Europe and you're giving up your own independent life (and that of your kids) just to be part of theirs.  Shouldn't they be trying harder to be part of your life?

I do have family come here to visit every year. Family and friends isn't actually a main reason for wanting to go back, it will just be a bonus really. 

[RMG]

Funnily enough it’s my kids that are the impetus for returning. They miss family, friends, U.K. countryside, European history and our house in a village.

We have lived in Australia for nearly 5 years with a year back in the U.K. We have the same lifestyle in both countries although I have to say Nursing is easier over here.

We are returning in April to the UK to family and friends. I will miss my Friends here ( funnily enough mainly Australian not ex pats as we have immersed ourselves into communities) but I am glad we are going home and happy my kids are the driving force. Both countries offer the same opportunities for them and we are outdoor people who will walk and cycle in any weather........I won’t miss cycling over snakes!!!

Brexit concerns me but we will still be able to visit Europe and my kids have an Irish grandma so hopefully they will have choices!.

[Maybe]

Hi RMG,

May I ask how old are you children who wants to go back?  As per my previous posts we only recently moved here, but already homesick! We are now here more on a trial as my children are 14, 12 and 9 and may return within the year...

[RMG]

They are 14 tomorrow, 12 and 8. All girls. It’s a hard choice as both countries offer a good lifestyle. First time round I hated being in Australia, although I enjoyed travelling round for ten months as a family. I was overjoyed about going home and loved being home. My husband yearned to return so he came back first and eight months later we returned as being apart was extremely difficult for all of us.

we returned last January to a different area than before and I have to say its been difficult to make the decision. The kids are thriving in the senior school here but when we dicussed this, they said they would thrive any where as they like learning. Since 2013 they have never wavered they just want to be home, but they do like the fact they have options for the future as they are now citizens. As a family we make decisions together, we as adults have a good life in both countries but we also miss family and friends. Family and friends have never pressurised us.

one thing i would say is that my Aussie mates understand the readons we are heading back, my ex pat mates don’t, although when speaking to some of them truthfully they secretly hanker to return but cannot due to partners/ other commitments.

Good luck, it does take a while to settle. PM me for a chat if you want to.

[Maybe]

Thanks it’s helpful to hear your experience -  I think our children are in the same uk school year and it’s reassuring to know moving is not an impossibility... 

[bristolman]

11 minutes ago, Maybe said:

Thanks it’s helpful to hear your experience -  I think our children are in the same uk school year and it’s reassuring to know moving is not an impossibility... 

Our boys were 10 when we moved to the UK, they love it and took to it like ducks to water. Neither have any interest in returning and consider themselves English. I'm not saying every child would be the same of course.