Rolf Harris charged but where will it stop ?

[Buttercup]

This could be debated till the cows come home, but facts are facts- children are children, adults are adults. The child places their trust in the adult and this has been abused! The trauma of this (however long it takes to come to light can be catastrophic for the victims). I have worked with adults who have kept this 'in a box' for years for a million and one reasons and as a result are now very damaged people on so many levels. I think it must take a lot of courage to speak up and we shouldn't judge those that do. They should feel listened to and supported. Yes you may get a small amount of individuals who cry wolf, but I would hazzard a guess this is a very small minority. Raking all that up must be like going through it all over again...

[Johndoe]

Raking all that up must be like going through it all over again...

 

Yes it is, and there, is the simple reason why so many don't come forward till later................until such time as they feel strong enough to go through it again, which, in many cases, leads them to once again, feel weaker, and more vulnerable.

[Parley]

I'm going to sit out of this thread from now on. But I just want to repeat, it's not the police that bring charges. The Crown Prosecution Service makes that call and they have made pretty poor judgements in the past.

 

Peach, just curious but why have you been on the side of the alleged perpetrators throughout this thread ?

[Peach]

Peach, just curious but why have you been on the side of the alleged perpetrators throughout this thread ?

 

I wouldn't say I'm on anyone's side, until the facts come out. While there has been no trial and virtually no facts have been released, I'm not going to condemn him. "He must guilty because they wouldn't have charged him otherwise" to my mind is where witch hunts start. If he is found guilty lock him up and throw away the key...

[Parley]

I wouldn't say I'm on anyone's side, until the facts come out. While there has been no trial and virtually no facts have been released, I'm not going to condemn him. "He must guilty because they wouldn't have charged him otherwise" to my mind is where witch hunts start. If he is found guilty lock him up and throw away the key...

 

Maybe its just yhe way I'm reading it but you seem to be very much on the side of the alleged offenders, to the point of questioning the professionalism of the police and CPS, and presumably victims.

 

I agree Rolf deserves a fair trial, but I don't think it is helpful to start assuming he has been fitted up.

[Lambethlad]

If he's guilty Rolf should rot in jail for the rest of his life. Age, wealth and celebrity should make no difference.

[Peach]

I agree Rolf deserves a fair trial, but I don't think it is helpful to start assuming he has been fitted up.

 

But there are plenty of people making the case for the victims - on the basis that where there's smoke there's fire. Am just trying to even things up by presenting some facts to the contrary. I don't think that makes very much on the side of anyone.

[Skani]

. You rape a child you take away their right to a chance of a 'normal' life. Your attitude is beyond reprehensible

 

 

 

Thoroughly agree, Illawaralad. The suicide rate amongst victims is a disturbing feature of these crimes.

 

[Que Sera Sera]

I have to agree that until the trial he is " supposed" to be innocent until proven guilty but how is that ever going to work how will they ever find anyone that is impartial for a trial . If he's guilty of having sex with a minor then he deserves all he gets , but in a so called civilised country shouldn't there be a fair judicial process before he is hung up by the " rollocks "! And before anyone asks yes if it had been one of my daughters that's what I'd be waiting for!

[Skani]

My argument is the numbers coming out after so many decades suggests the theory of another poster has substance.

 

All it suggests is that the system was peculiarly unwilling to act for the victims in previous decades.

When you read the stories of those now being charged for crimes committed decades ago, it becomes obvious that the allegations made then were not prosecuted as they should have been...in fact were often deliberately swept under the carpet in order to protect the perpetrators.

[Skani]

But there are plenty of people making the case for the victims - on the basis that where there's smoke there's fire.

 

I'd just like to clarify that my comments don't relate to the Rolf Harris case at all. I haven't read the media reports and I'm not going to...it would be too disturbing.

I'm just basing my comments on a multitude of cases over the years....where there was smoke...and there was eventually proved to be fire.

[Peach]

I'm just basing my comments on a multitude of cases over the years....where there was smoke...and there was eventually proved to be fire.

 

And equally, my comments are based on a multitude of cases over the years where the wrong person was falsely accused.....

[Skani]

Do 80 plus year old men get sent to jail? What punishment do they get?

 

There are certainly 80+ year olds in Australian gaols for these offences. I doubt that they would get much reduction in sentence in consideration of their age...but haven't specifically researched that. :err:

[flag of convenience]

You really have no idea, and certanly haven't read, or refuse to acknowledge, my previous post. "Repressed memory"? "fear of reprisal"? "lack of confidence"? "shame"? They don't ring a bell as to reasons why "so many decades" pass? You must lead a sheltered life if you have no comprehension as to why matters surface so much later................or perhaps, for some unknown reason, you refuse to acknowledge that some things are best left untouched until such time as a victim is able to remember/ handle them.

 

I never cease to be amazed that some folk seem so "sheltered" that they can't even acknowledge/believe, and will seek to minimise in some way, the horrors that are perpetrated on those less sheltered. Not only that, they will even go as far as inferring/suggesting that those who seek to relate their horrors, merely to relieve their pain, no matter how much later in life, are lying, or doing it purely for personal monetary gain.

 

Am very far from being sheltered and have seen both sides of the fence. Just to under line there are at times another side. But I do understand a parents outrage on the matter, and as such will refrain from further comment.

[starlight7]

I really hope Rolf Harris is innocent but I think he may well be guilty. I hope he gets a fair trial- they seem to suppress discussion about court cases over in the uk- probably the right thing to do in a case like this.

[Incata]

I was sexually assaulted on a bus when I was 11. A whole group of adults stood by and watched, and then said how awful it was afterwards as I cried. One of them held a senior position in St John Ambulance Brigade, who are supposed to help people. She stood by and watched - she didn't want to get involved but saw me some months later and had the nerve to ask how I was recovering and say sorry for not getting involved and stopping them. She said, "It was awful what they did to you." I was a child, she was an adult. She did NOTHING. Nor did any of the other 20 or so adults who were there. They heard my screams for help. They saw my clothes being ripped off me. They saw me trying to fight them off. They turned away. They read their newspapers. They pretended it was not happening. When the boys got off, they could not do enough to help.

 

I told my mum and she said that they were only school boys and I deserved it because I was lucky enough to go to a private school, so I had to accept that these things would happen. She made me go back on the bus the next day. I tried to kill myself so she let me travel home on the train after that.

 

Someone tried to rape me when I was 14. I told my mum. She told me that I deserved it because I had been nasty to her that morning.

 

When I was 17 someone tried to grab me and force me to go off with them when I was on holiday with my college in Germany. That time I screamed and people came running. He let me go and ran. I never told a soul until he turned up on Crimewatch 2 years later, when I did call the police. They were the only people I told. I didn't go to court but he was convicted.

 

I didn't tell because when I trusted adults to help me, they didn't.

 

When I asked for help they turned me away.

 

I was told that I deserved it, that I had asked for it, that I was a horrible person and that was why it had happened. I cried myself to sleep for months. I could not bear to be touched, or hugged, even by family members.

 

It took 12 months of counselling at university before I could even sit next to a man without having a flick knife in my pocket.

 

How many other children have been told that they are useless, worthless, good for nothing and deserved what happened to them? How many of them cry themselves to sleep at night, wanting someone to hug them and tell them it will be okay, and yet finding, when they do tell, they are dismissed and told it was their fault because they are a bad person?

 

Maybe, just finally as adults, they are coming to realise, and believe, deep down, that people don't have the right to do that to them, that they don't have the right to abuse them and finally they work up the courage to do something about it and not be fobbed off.

 

When I was 25 I met, at an assessment centre, one of the people who had sexually assaulted me when I was 11. He told me he was sorry and had never done it again. Some people would say that should make it better, but it doesn't.

 

My mother never apologised. I haven't spoken to her in 6 years. I hope that she, and the other adults who were complicit in what happened to me, rot in hell.

[Incata]

Setting a cut off point would mean that those that didn't 'make the date' weren't entitled to the same justice as those that have accused already, how unconstitutional. If society is indeed full of these perverts then they need weeding out and punishing no matter who they are. To believe otherwise is absurd in a so-called civilized society.

 

As a parent I automatically think 'what if it was my kids' as would any parent surely

 

No. My mother was complicit.

 

However, if anyone hurts either of my sons, I will string them up on a lamp-post myself.

[caramac]

That's horrific, Incata. I can imagine it was very difficult for you to type all that, but thank you. There are many people who have had similar experiences - my oh is a psychiatrist and hears stories like yours all too often. People really don't understand what a profound effect, not only the abuse, but the inaction of those who are meant to protect you, has.

[Guest51810]

I was sexually assaulted on a bus when I was 11. A whole group of adults stood by and watched, and then said how awful it was afterwards as I cried. One of them held a senior position in St John Ambulance Brigade, who are supposed to help people. She stood by and watched - she didn't want to get involved but saw me some months later and had the nerve to ask how I was recovering and say sorry for not getting involved and stopping them. She said, "It was awful what they did to you." I was a child, she was an adult. She did NOTHING. Nor did any of the other 20 or so adults who were there. They heard my screams for help. They saw my clothes being ripped off me. They saw me trying to fight them off. They turned away. They read their newspapers. They pretended it was not happening. When the boys got off, they could not do enough to help.

 

I told my mum and she said that they were only school boys and I deserved it because I was lucky enough to go to a private school, so I had to accept that these things would happen. She made me go back on the bus the next day. I tried to kill myself so she let me travel home on the train after that.

 

Someone tried to rape me when I was 14. I told my mum. She told me that I deserved it because I had been nasty to her that morning.

 

When I was 17 someone tried to grab me and force me to go off with them when I was on holiday with my college in Germany. That time I screamed and people came running. He let me go and ran. I never told a soul until he turned up on Crimewatch 2 years later, when I did call the police. They were the only people I told. I didn't go to court but he was convicted.

 

I didn't tell because when I trusted adults to help me, they didn't.

 

When I asked for help they turned me away.

 

I was told that I deserved it, that I had asked for it, that I was a horrible person and that was why it had happened. I cried myself to sleep for months. I could not bear to be touched, or hugged, even by family members.

 

It took 12 months of counselling at university before I could even sit next to a man without having a flick knife in my pocket.

 

How many other children have been told that they are useless, worthless, good for nothing and deserved what happened to them? How many of them cry themselves to sleep at night, wanting someone to hug them and tell them it will be okay, and yet finding, when they do tell, they are dismissed and told it was their fault because they are a bad person?

 

Maybe, just finally as adults, they are coming to realise, and believe, deep down, that people don't have the right to do that to them, that they don't have the right to abuse them and finally they work up the courage to do something about it and not be fobbed off.

 

When I was 25 I met, at an assessment centre, one of the people who had sexually assaulted me when I was 11. He told me he was sorry and had never done it again. Some people would say that should make it better, but it doesn't.

 

My mother never apologised. I haven't spoken to her in 6 years. I hope that she, and the other adults who were complicit in what happened to me, rot in hell.

 

I cant believe what ive read, i dont even know what to say tbh. Just awful, this must be a very hard subject for you.

 

I'll also agree that it can take a long time for kids to mention these things, when i was a kid a man on holiday came upto me to talk and started rubbing my knee when I was playing with a older friend, we were only around the corner a bit from my parents and ran away but I didnt mention it till quite a long time after. Its nowhere near on the same scale as anything mentioned but still not a very nice thought for me

[pablo]

I was sexually assaulted on a bus when I was 11. A whole group of adults stood by and watched, and then said how awful it was afterwards as I cried. One of them held a senior position in St John Ambulance Brigade, who are supposed to help people. She stood by and watched - she didn't want to get involved but saw me some months later and had the nerve to ask how I was recovering and say sorry for not getting involved and stopping them. She said, "It was awful what they did to you." I was a child, she was an adult. She did NOTHING. Nor did any of the other 20 or so adults who were there. They heard my screams for help. They saw my clothes being ripped off me. They saw me trying to fight them off. They turned away. They read their newspapers. They pretended it was not happening. When the boys got off, they could not do enough to help.

 

I told my mum and she said that they were only school boys and I deserved it because I was lucky enough to go to a private school, so I had to accept that these things would happen. She made me go back on the bus the next day. I tried to kill myself so she let me travel home on the train after that.

 

Someone tried to rape me when I was 14. I told my mum. She told me that I deserved it because I had been nasty to her that morning.

 

When I was 17 someone tried to grab me and force me to go off with them when I was on holiday with my college in Germany. That time I screamed and people came running. He let me go and ran. I never told a soul until he turned up on Crimewatch 2 years later, when I did call the police. They were the only people I told. I didn't go to court but he was convicted.

 

I didn't tell because when I trusted adults to help me, they didn't.

 

When I asked for help they turned me away.

 

I was told that I deserved it, that I had asked for it, that I was a horrible person and that was why it had happened. I cried myself to sleep for months. I could not bear to be touched, or hugged, even by family members.

 

It took 12 months of counselling at university before I could even sit next to a man without having a flick knife in my pocket.

 

How many other children have been told that they are useless, worthless, good for nothing and deserved what happened to them? How many of them cry themselves to sleep at night, wanting someone to hug them and tell them it will be okay, and yet finding, when they do tell, they are dismissed and told it was their fault because they are a bad person?

 

Maybe, just finally as adults, they are coming to realise, and believe, deep down, that people don't have the right to do that to them, that they don't have the right to abuse them and finally they work up the courage to do something about it and not be fobbed off.

 

When I was 25 I met, at an assessment centre, one of the people who had sexually assaulted me when I was 11. He told me he was sorry and had never done it again. Some people would say that should make it better, but it doesn't.

 

My mother never apologised. I haven't spoken to her in 6 years. I hope that she, and the other adults who were complicit in what happened to me, rot in hell.

 

Thats absolutely shocking girl!cant find the right words to say tbh,havent bothered reading this thread because i knew there would be comments that infuriate me,im sorry you had to suffer all that,nobody should have to suffer those incidents

[Lindor]

Incata your post made me cry. I'm so sorry that you went through all that and were let down so spectacularly by the people who should have protected you. I wish them the same fate that you wish them, they deserve it and more.

[Illawaralad]

I'm full of admiration that you had the courage to share that Incata, and mortified at what you went through. Can't think of anymore words

[LouDYorkie]

I'm full of admiration that you had the courage to share that Incata, and mortified at what you went through. Can't think of anymore words

 

I second this. You are a strong person to speak out. It's a terrible thing and sadly it seems it's far more common than we believe it to be.

 

Now it's in the news and more people are speaking out, I'd like to think its easier for younger generations to get help, be believed, and for others to recognise the signs that 'something isn't right'. It has to be a community effort to keep young people safe.

:'(

[Johndoe]

He told me he was sorry and had never done it again. Some people would say that should make it better, but it doesn't.

 

My mother never apologised. I haven't spoken to her in 6 years. I hope that she, and the other adults who were complicit in what happened to me, rot in hell.

 

 

:hug::hug:

[paulv]

I had a nosey at the first page and was frankly sickened by the 'old boys' attitude that because time has passed all of these crimes should be somehow forgotten about. I'd like to see every adult who abused their position be tried in court so that the survivors of these life changing events can at least see that we, as a civilized society, will not make excuses for paedophiles and misogynists.

 

I work with a number of girls and young women who have known nothing but being treated by men as pieces of meat, to have done with whatever these 'men' fancied. Their lives are affected in every way- their relationships with family and others, their education, their mental health...the list is endless.

To try and trivialize or make light of it saddens, sickens, depresses.

 

Incata, I'm glad that you were brave enough to share your terrible experiences. Don't let them win.