Christmas is always difficult

[rammygirl]

We have already had one Christmas Day as our eldest, partner and baby came over from Canberra for a week and my youngest and his partner joined us. It was lovely having a houseful but today they all left and I’m exhausted !  Another Christmas Day still to come too!

[InnerVoice]

14 hours ago, Bulya said:

Snow all around us on the Brindabella’s in winter.  Xmas in July is pretty big here 

I have some friends in Sydney that always do a full Christmas dinner the last weekend in June - great idea!

[Blue Manna]

14 hours ago, Nemesis said:

I regularly go up to see my mum in deepest Wales. Has to be National Express coach and it takes 14 hours. I'd rather do the flight to Oz anytime! At least you can walk around, have a drink and a meal etc!!

Jesus! I don't know what would be worse. The journey or the destination?

[Nemesis]

19 hours ago, Toots said:

14 hours on a bus!  My Mum lived off the beater track in Scotland but at least I could get a train to the nearest station then a hire car to her house or if really pushed I could get a bus from the station.  She was about an hour from the station.

I did it by train once, should've been 4 changes and 7 hours but the Welsh railways lived up to their reputation and after we crossed the border things fell apart; 3 extra changes and because my assistance booking was only for the advertised changes, I had to beg other passengers to help me over the bridge, up steps etc with luggage. Ended up 11 hours, and more knackered than the coach trip!! Plus then a 35 quid taxi fare from the town out to the farm!!

[proud preston]

23 hours ago, Toots said:

Unless you can afford business or first class the flight is usually pretty horrible.  Sitting on a bus or a train is far more comfortable than that flight.  I also hate airports probably because I hate crowds.  I know it's only 24 hours but even the thought of it gives me the heebie jeebies.  I'm not a great traveller anymore as you can tell.  

I swore I’d go business class then saw the price and was brought back to reality. Yes, the crowds get me too and just the whole idea of being cooped up in a plane 35,000 feet up makes my blood pressure rise with anxiety 

[Quoll]

55 minutes ago, proud preston said:

I swore I’d go business class then saw the price and was brought back to reality. Yes, the crowds get me too and just the whole idea of being cooped up in a plane 35,000 feet up makes my blood pressure rise with anxiety 

I keep thinking of going business class but my miserly attitude won't let me. I reckon you can put up with anything for 24 hours and business class doesn't get you there any faster so I stick with sardines. My son arrived yesterday and door to door was 39 hours 52 minutes - getting to the airport, going via San Francisco then bus down to Canberra. 

[Toots]

3 hours ago, Nemesis said:

I did it by train once, should've been 4 changes and 7 hours but the Welsh railways lived up to their reputation and after we crossed the border things fell apart; 3 extra changes and because my assistance booking was only for the advertised changes, I had to beg other passengers to help me over the bridge, up steps etc with luggage. Ended up 11 hours, and more knackered than the coach trip!! Plus then a 35 quid taxi fare from the town out to the farm!!

Sounds pretty similar to what I've had to put up with on sojourns up to Scotland.  The last time I got the train there was trackwork going on so had to change trains and platforms a couple of times and as you say going up steps and  over the bridge with a suitcase etc is a right pain.  The trains were packed to the gunnels too.  Standing room only for some people.  Oh the joy!!  

[Toots]

1 hour ago, Quoll said:

I keep thinking of going business class but my miserly attitude won't let me. I reckon you can put up with anything for 24 hours and business class doesn't get you there any faster so I stick with sardines. My son arrived yesterday and door to door was 39 hours 52 minutes - getting to the airport, going via San Francisco then bus down to Canberra. 

He must be knackered poor bloke.

[proud preston]

10 hours ago, Quoll said:

I keep thinking of going business class but my miserly attitude won't let me. I reckon you can put up with anything for 24 hours and business class doesn't get you there any faster so I stick with sardines. My son arrived yesterday and door to door was 39 hours 52 minutes - getting to the airport, going via San Francisco then bus down to Canberra. 

I’ve also thought about splitting it into 3 flights and staying a night in Singapore and then a night in Dubai to try and give the poor body and mind a break 

[Quoll]

13 minutes ago, proud preston said:

I’ve also thought about splitting it into 3 flights and staying a night in Singapore and then a night in Dubai to try and give the poor body and mind a break 

Nah, prolonging the agony I reckon! 

[Blue Manna]

3 hours ago, proud preston said:

I’ve also thought about splitting it into 3 flights and staying a night in Singapore and then a night in Dubai to try and give the poor body and mind a break 

I do too, but the hassle of collecting bags and going back through check in is a turn off. Did someone mention airport pods? Would be interested if people have experience of those.

[FirstWorldProblems]

7 hours ago, Blue Manna said:

I do too, but the hassle of collecting bags and going back through check in is a turn off. Did someone mention airport pods? Would be interested if people have experience of those.

I think the hassle factor is maybe influenced by  how many of you there are and easily they travel (young kids etc). 
 

My eldest and I broke up our journey this week with a Dubai stop for 36 hours whilst the wife and the other two wanted to power thru and spend more time with the family down under.  We found it really easy- no hassle at all.  
 

- haven’t flown economy in some years but prices were bonkers this year and was really impressed with the comfort and space on emirates. That helped.
- exiting Dubai was a 15 minute process

- 25 min taxi to hotel and half the U.K. cost

- 5 star hotel with a big, big room for the cost of a shoebox in London 

- packing cubes made it super easy to get things I wanted out of the suitcase  without hassle

- check in back at the airport was a 5 min wait

- I picked up some current generation noise cancelling headphones cheap in Dubai to replace by 13+ year old ones - what a difference that made to the second flight.  I still don’t sleep but cutting out all that background noise was great. 

[Drumbeat]

On 20/12/2023 at 08:10, Quoll said:

I keep thinking of going business class but my miserly attitude won't let me. I reckon you can put up with anything for 24 hours and business class doesn't get you there any faster so I stick with sardines. My son arrived yesterday and door to door was 39 hours 52 minutes - getting to the airport, going via San Francisco then bus down to Canberra. 

Business class doesn't get you there faster but you arrive a lot more rested. My husband sleeps for the majority of the flights and even I sleep for long periods. Plus we're not in pain from being squashed in an upright seat for hours on end. Qatar airways Q suites shut out a lot of the noise and lights from other passengers.

Edited December 21, 2023 by Drumbeat

[InnerVoice]

On 20/12/2023 at 18:04, proud preston said:

I’ve also thought about splitting it into 3 flights and staying a night in Singapore and then a night in Dubai to try and give the poor body and mind a break 

Singapore is fantastic stopover and you could easily spend 2-3 nights there. The shopping is awesome, so if you were flying back to the UK for Christmas it'd be a great place to stock up on a few gifts.

I've never stopped in Dubai but I've heard it's pretty good too. I'd be inclined to stop in Singapore going one way and in Dubai the other if possible, rather than having two stopovers on the same route as that would drag out the journey too much.

[Marisawright]

On 20/12/2023 at 22:20, Blue Manna said:

I do too, but the hassle of collecting bags and going back through check in is a turn off. Did someone mention airport pods? Would be interested if people have experience of those.

But you don't have to.  You just check your luggage all the way through.  Never had a problem.  I always make sure I have a stopover that's long enough to stay in an airside hotel for at least 6 hours, so I can get some sleep (I can't sleep on the plane).    Being airside, I don't have to go through customs.   I've done it in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Abu Dhabi and Bangkok.  Airside hotels vary -- some are luxury and I can have a swim in the pool, maybe a massage or a facial as well as a sleep.  Some are just a basic room.   

Some airports have snooze loungers or sleep pods but they don't have anywhere safe to leave your belongings so I always worried I'd get my pocket picked while I was asleep. 

The nicest option we found was in Singapore -- although it was just a curtained cubicle, you had a secure place for your belongings,  the bathrooms were gorgeous and the price was a steal.  We discovered it by accident on one trip.  I've been trying to find the details of it but I haven't been able to find any trace -- maybe it's no longer there.

[InnerVoice]

11 hours ago, Marisawright said:

But you don't have to.  You just check your luggage all the way through.  Never had a problem.  I always make sure I have a stopover that's long enough to stay in an airside hotel for at least 6 hours, so I can get some sleep (I can't sleep on the plane).    Being airside, I don't have to go through customs.   I've done it in Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Abu Dhabi and Bangkok.  Airside hotels vary -- some are luxury and I can have a swim in the pool, maybe a massage or a facial as well as a sleep.  Some are just a basic room.   

Some airports have snooze loungers or sleep pods but they don't have anywhere safe to leave your belongings so I always worried I'd get my pocket picked while I was asleep. 

The nicest option we found was in Singapore -- although it was just a curtained cubicle, you had a secure place for your belongings,  the bathrooms were gorgeous and the price was a steal.  We discovered it by accident on one trip.  I've been trying to find the details of it but I haven't been able to find any trace -- maybe it's no longer there.

Can you check your luggage all the way through even if your stopover is for a couple of nights? If so, I never knew that.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, InnerVoice said:

Can you check your luggage all the way through even if your stopover is for a couple of nights? If so, I never knew that.

I think it has to count as a connecting flight.  I don't know, because I've never booked a stopover longer than 12 hours.

[Jehwal]

On 17/12/2023 at 08:16, proud preston said:

I’ve lived here 17 years (and posted a lot on here about my homesickness!) I always find this time of year particularly difficult. It’s so damn hot here in Brisbane and I find the heat hard. I look longingly at winter pics in England. I miss the Christmas that I grew up with. Miss friends, family and….winter (!) What little nuggets of wisdom can others offer for me to try and get into the Aussie Christmas spirit and ease my negativity? Thanks all 

Unfortunately i don't have an answer for but i do understand. Christmas is an absolute nightmare for me. It has gradually got worse as the years have gone on. It seems my family just expect me to do everything. I was burnt out before xmas and we had 12 here boxing day as well as Christmas day. Today i could not get out of bed until 2pm i was hurting from all the dishwashing , shopping etc. never again!!

[Marisawright]

15 hours ago, Jehwal said:

 Christmas is an absolute nightmare for me. It has gradually got worse as the years have gone on. It seems my family just expect me to do everything. 

I  know it can be easier said than done to stand up to family, but ask yourself -- if next year, you said, "Sorry, I'm too old to do Christmas for everyone now, some of you need to step up and take over", what's the worst that could happen?  

[Quoll]

17 hours ago, Jehwal said:

Unfortunately i don't have an answer for but i do understand. Christmas is an absolute nightmare for me. It has gradually got worse as the years have gone on. It seems my family just expect me to do everything. I was burnt out before xmas and we had 12 here boxing day as well as Christmas day. Today i could not get out of bed until 2pm i was hurting from all the dishwashing , shopping etc. never again!!

Where's the hug emoticon when you need it?! Next year, start planning now!!! Book yourself a hotel break for the festive period and tell the rest of the rabble that they're on their own.  It's Christmas, dammit, you deserve the fun of it. Stay strong!!!!

[rammygirl]

Sadly some people have  to be asked to help.  
Next time say your are doing a buffet and ask everyone to bring food.  

You shouldn’t need to do it all, nor pay for it either! 

[Marisawright]

29 minutes ago, rammygirl said:

Sadly some people have  to be asked to help.  
 

That's true, and it's not necessarily because they're selfish.  They may all think you love having the family round for Christmas and you do such a great job of it, you love doing it.  They won't know otherwise if you don't tell them.

@Jehwal, start planting the seeds now by making comments about how exhausted you are after all that hard work and you need to do something different next year. 

[Blue Manna]

19 hours ago, Jehwal said:

Unfortunately i don't have an answer for but i do understand. Christmas is an absolute nightmare for me. It has gradually got worse as the years have gone on. It seems my family just expect me to do everything. I was burnt out before xmas and we had 12 here boxing day as well as Christmas day. Today i could not get out of bed until 2pm i was hurting from all the dishwashing , shopping etc. never again!!

If you cook, then you certainly don't do dishes. Are your family Australian? Australians aren't subtle. They don't take a hint. You have to be blunt.

[ramot]

On 27/12/2023 at 16:57, Jehwal said:

Unfortunately i don't have an answer for but i do understand. Christmas is an absolute nightmare for me. It has gradually got worse as the years have gone on. It seems my family just expect me to do everything. I was burnt out before xmas and we had 12 here boxing day as well as Christmas day. Today i could not get out of bed until 2pm i was hurting from all the dishwashing , shopping etc. never again!!

Sending a hug, I don’t think I have had it as hard as you, because everyone did pull their weight this Christmas, but I’m shattered. Definitely think it’s time I retired from Christmas at our house, famous last words.  Family here for 5 days, unexpected bbq for 9 on the 23rd, as a good friend and his family of my son and daughter were  visiting family in the area so were invited here for a bbq. My daughter told me she had asked friends to bring some food with them, whoops she hadn’t. Mad dash to Woolworths for extra, as they arrived. Next an unexpected  guest, SiL’s niece, on C Eve, for a quick meal. 10 people for full UK Christmas lunch on C Day, whoops one doesn’t eat meat, was told beforehand, and yes did bring a salad, but I provided extra, but not sea food as highly allergic. Busy next 2 days and last visitors left this morning. So after tidying up and a hundred loads of washing, yes I’m exaggerating and husband has helped in between watching cricket!, have put my feet up.

Having written all that, I really must count my blessings, I wouldn’t have missed any of it for the world., especially as a friend has just telephoned to suggest lunch out tomorrow, her husband died last year, they didn’t have children, has no siblings or close family, and had to be honest a fairly sad Christmas, so sometimes those of us who do have family to spend Christmas with, sometimes need reminding how lucky we are. 

[Cheery Thistle]

I have never liked Christmas much for various reasons. For about 15 years I have felt responsible for it all, I used to buy all the gifts,send and write all the cards and do the dinner then have the extra family round in between. Decided a few years ago to stop doing it. Now hubby is responsible for getting his own gifts and cards and I don’t invite everyone. I still do Christmas dinner and New Years Day. I have found that once I stopped making the effort with extended family I just don’t see them. None of them make the effort to ‘plug the gap’. It is what it is I suppose. I have found the dip in oestrogen on entering my 40’s quite liberating!!

Edited December 28, 2023 by Cheery Thistle
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