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About Jehwal

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  1. Jehwal

    Ahhh the challenge of being a migrant

    Thank you. I know its a hard one. I think my parents where happy here for quite a while they came at 65 now hitting 90 its a very different life when you are 90 and unable to do much for yourself. I know they miss just being at home, especially my dad ss he only has one sister left there now.
  2. Jehwal

    Ahhh the challenge of being a migrant

    I know how you feel. Currently in Oz but really not living at all. Both parents are now very elderly and unwell both here in Oz with us. Watching their later years in Oz has been difficult, they really regret coming here now. They only have me to rely on. All the friends here they did meet have now passed. They both have other family at home they desperately would love to see but none are well enough for that flight. It has been a constant dilemma for many years, one i regret not facing and dealing with back then. The pressure it has put on me due to the fact i am the only one who can really help has been way too much , wishing we where all home where i would have much more support. There is a huge difference in how people support each other in oz versus uk. Two months ago both parents where in hospital with mum not expected to make it. Family and friends in the uk where in constant contact checking in with how it was and how i was coping, best friend here who knew what was happening never even called! I think having family nearby is a huge thing snd should never be under valued. Due to my experiences i know i would love to feel safe and supported in the UK. My first thoughts on that was back when my daughter was 8 but i listened to everyone else who said no Aus is so much better, i didn't think so myself as not having” your people “ around affects mental health terribly, i know i have suffered for years. Being isolated away from what is home is not great and gets harder as time goes on.
  3. Jehwal

    Unsure whether to return to UK

    Totally understand, i think many of us dream of going home one day. I would definitely give the one year over there a go. I know you worry about the job here but you will never know if you don't give it a go. As you don't have to consider anyone else j would put a plan in place for a one year trial. You will feel better knowing you you worked on it for yourself
  4. Jehwal

    Leaving OZ decision?

    I try to go over every year prior to the dreaded covid and i have a amazing time just being home, being back with everyone, i have also noticed that i never give OZ one thought whilst I'm there! my sister in law actually said to me last time i was there that she had noticed i never mentioned Oz ever, i hadn't noticed but she did! Some friends i talk to weekly others ever 3 months or so and communicate on facebook everyday with many family and friends. Definitely fit in much better there than i do here thats for sure.
  5. Jehwal

    Leaving OZ decision?

    We have reasonable good super as both of us have always worked full time. Home is paid off and there will be a decent inheritance in the coming years. I am looking into the contributions gap payments for UK pension at the moment. I think for correspondence we need to pay about 6 years. I had thought my daughter would have been more of a go getter tbh, but she is happy just plodding along and at the moment has no intention of leaving home. Lots of people she goes out with not sure how good friends they are as we have never met most. Hopefully she-fly’s solo soon as you say. i need to get over feeling guilty that i want a life back in the UK i guess
  6. Jehwal

    Leaving OZ decision?

    Hi, its been a while since i posted so have created a new id. Been in Oz 35 years some of which where great but probably half the time regretting ever coming here, isolation, missing everyone , missing a very good life back home. I do go back often and speak to people at home weekly. in the next 5 years i would like to head back home as i feel really isolated here not just in OZ but also family wise. parents are very elderly and sickly and cannot travel home and i think i am already mourning them tbh. I am the only one in the family who looks after them day by day, its hard but we have always been close so would not have it any other way. I know once they are gone i will want to go home. my big issue is my daughter, aged 25, born here and will not go to live in the UK. Hubby happy to go, not bothered either way. Not sure how i feel about leaving my daughter here. Its not like we get on at all, no fighting she just has a horrible attitude towards me and i finally have had to not care anymore. We never ever do anything together. I feel she resents me and we could not be more different, every conversation ends in her being patronising. To me its very unfamiliar as mum and i are best friends and most of my friends back home are really close with their mums etc. do i just make plans to go because its what i have always wanted or do i stay because i have a daughter here? If we where friendly it may be something to consider but i feel we get in the way of each others lives. She still lives at home, no partner. what would you do in my shoes?