Getting OUT of England

[Marisawright]

2 hours ago, BusbyBoo said:

I am not religious as such and believe most people have an automatic desire to do the right thing for others I.e morals. Our Western world offers the opportunity to debate the rights and wrongs of our government decisions and make our opinions heard. For that I am grateful, I am ok to be guided and protected and if necessary stopped from doing what I believe I need to do. 
On a personal level I had to make a decision way back at the beginning of COVID of whether or not to visit my parents, I normally visit twice every 18 months. Mum was very sick and probably going to die, I had to fight with drs surgery to even get her seen as apparently the major fluid loss from her legs and fluid filled abdomen were  nothing! Her delirium eventually enabled me to get her to hospital (i was in Australia trying to deal with this). I simply couldn’t go, it was the hardest decision I have ever made. Fortunately she is still alive and I FaceTime every day. My point is as individuals we have to work through our most challenging times, it doesn’t sit well with me, I am aware I could probably get an exemption to leave Australia. But I know I will struggle to get back and I have commitments here too. It tears me apart I am the only family my parents have, I can’t even sort out my power of attorney because I can’t prove my identity to banks etc.... I only just managed to stop my dad from being scammed by getting their cleaner to convince him it was a scam. They need care setting up but I need to be there to do it. 
I feel for everyone who has lives affected by this terrible pandemic, but unfortunately it is what it is. Governments have had to do what they believe is right for the majority and sometimes they get it wrong but no one has a crystal ball. So for me I have to look forward and hope that as a world we can get it under control as soon as possible, then we can all do what we need to do. No family is any more deserving than another, we all have pain and trauma to overcome. 
LoopyLoo is simply distressed at her situation and when we are distressed we vent. I could start venting about everything right now but I wouldn’t be able to stop, so I get it.

Love and peace and deep breaths to everyone

Everyone has the right to vent. It’s a question of directing your anger to the real cause of your anguish, not blaming the wrong people unfairly 

[Marisawright]

3 hours ago, BusbyBoo said:

... I had to make a decision way back at the beginning of COVID of whether or not to visit my parents, I normally visit twice every 18 months. Mum was very sick and probably going to die, I had to fight with drs surgery to even get her seen as apparently the major fluid loss from her legs and fluid filled abdomen were  nothing! Her delirium eventually enabled me to get her to hospital (i was in Australia trying to deal with this). I simply couldn’t go, it was the hardest decision I have ever made. Fortunately she is still alive and I FaceTime every day. My point is as individuals we have to work through our most challenging times, it doesn’t sit well with me, I am aware I could probably get an exemption to leave Australia. But I know I will struggle to get back and I have commitments here too. It tears me apart I am the only family my parents have, I can’t even sort out my power of attorney because I can’t prove my identity to banks etc.... I only just managed to stop my dad from being scammed by getting their cleaner to convince him it was a scam. They need care setting up but I need to be there to do it. 

I wish there was a (((((hugs)))) button.   Many of us have been through similar circumstances.  In the olden days when migrants came to Australia to escape poverty overseas, there simply wasn't enough money to pay the (very expensive) fares and all you could do was sit helplessly.  These days, the world feels a lot smaller and I'm sure many modern migrants make the big decision to leave their family behind, on the assumption they can hop home any time. Who could have predicted Covid would happen? 

Edited March 25, 2021 by Marisawright

[newjez]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

Everyone has the right to vent. It’s a question of directing your anger to the real cause of your anguish, not blaming the wrong people unfairly 

Sadly, and often unwittingly, we make these decisions when we decide to migrate. It is like a marriage. For better or worse, and like a marriage, when you are all starry eyed in that departure lounge, you may not be able to envision the worst.

[BusbyBoo]

Thank you Marisa and hug’s accepted , and I agree about the venting. Sometimes I think we do it on a forum because we are anonymous, and it’s easier to argue on here without repercussions. As someone who constantly feels anxious I often feel I read answers I know would set me off to dark place. As such I always think very carefully about what effect my response might have on a worried and distressed forum user. As an example my DD once informed me when I texted her and I hadn’t  added any kisses or emoj  I must be mad with her. I guess sometimes when a blunt answer is given in a post the OP feels the same. My DH thinks I’m nuts but lots of us are sensitive to the written word and read into the wrong meaning from well meaning people. Until recently I hadn’t given it much thought but a good neighbour of mine posted an innocent thing on Facebook and was brutally attacked with comments even threats to her business, she was distraught and took to her bed for days. 
I know the forum is a brilliant place and many posters offer great advice. But everyone has different writing styles and sometimes they may come across a little blunt .

I’m definitely not here to offend anyone. I have enough of my own problems

[Quoll]

7 hours ago, BusbyBoo said:

I am not religious as such and believe most people have an automatic desire to do the right thing for others I.e morals. Our Western world offers the opportunity to debate the rights and wrongs of our government decisions and make our opinions heard. For that I am grateful, I am ok to be guided and protected and if necessary stopped from doing what I believe I need to do. 
On a personal level I had to make a decision way back at the beginning of COVID of whether or not to visit my parents, I normally visit twice every 18 months. Mum was very sick and probably going to die, I had to fight with drs surgery to even get her seen as apparently the major fluid loss from her legs and fluid filled abdomen were  nothing! Her delirium eventually enabled me to get her to hospital (i was in Australia trying to deal with this). I simply couldn’t go, it was the hardest decision I have ever made. Fortunately she is still alive and I FaceTime every day. My point is as individuals we have to work through our most challenging times, it doesn’t sit well with me, I am aware I could probably get an exemption to leave Australia. But I know I will struggle to get back and I have commitments here too. It tears me apart I am the only family my parents have, I can’t even sort out my power of attorney because I can’t prove my identity to banks etc.... I only just managed to stop my dad from being scammed by getting their cleaner to convince him it was a scam. They need care setting up but I need to be there to do it. 
I feel for everyone who has lives affected by this terrible pandemic, but unfortunately it is what it is. Governments have had to do what they believe is right for the majority and sometimes they get it wrong but no one has a crystal ball. So for me I have to look forward and hope that as a world we can get it under control as soon as possible, then we can all do what we need to do. No family is any more deserving than another, we all have pain and trauma to overcome. 
LoopyLoo is simply distressed at her situation and when we are distressed we vent. I could start venting about everything right now but I wouldn’t be able to stop, so I get it.

Love and peace and deep breaths to everyone

Oh my heavens! You have my total sympathy! We did actually go and squat in my parents back bedroom for nearly 9 years (accidentally) because I was their only family and they needed help (but mum wasn’t happy for us to provide it, - dad was relieved!). POA is hard enough when you are on site (some places are notoriously bad for accepting it!) and executing a Will is impossible from Aus  especially in this COVID era.  It is the weird little things like the scams which render them so vulnerable. Left to his own devices my dad would have probably had wholesale double glazing, a bigger conservatory, a smart meter and solar panels as well as paying through the nose to end the scam calls. Mum would have spent an absolute fortune on things from catalogues or charities who assured her she had won amazing prizes and the phone calls for playing word search $$$$$$!!!!  
 You will feel much better if you can get them to try supported accommodation, they really are vulnerable no matter how canny they think they are!  
Having elderly relatives in the other side of the world when you are an only child is bloody hard. There is no easy answer if you are “it” and have to do all the organising and protecting. The only way we could do it was to be there - to do the doctors, dentists, therapist, optician etc appointments and to gradually take over the finances, shopping, management of home issues etc etc. We certainly didn’t think it would end up being almost 9 years, but I think our being there did actually extend their lives. I was there when mum died and we supported dad through that but, sadly, he died alone as he had made the choice to go into a care home which allowed us to sell up his life and come back. He was very happy in care but he was in hospital for a non Covid issue and just went out on his own terms without us being even aware, let alone there for him.  I couldn’t go to his funeral but I really don’t think that would have bothered him, he always said not to bother to go back for a funeral. 

I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I don’t think there is any easy  answer and unless you can delegate you’re going to struggle to deal with all the agencies- there may be advocacy agencies you could use but ultimately you’re going to be the best advocate for your olds.  Maybe if there is one good thing to come out of Covid it is the preparedness of organisations to use Zoom/Skype/FaceTime which means you can be directly involved! I organised my dads funeral on Skype and watched it on Facetime! 
 

Good  luck!

[Jon the Hat]

On 24/03/2021 at 02:45, Paul1Perth said:

Best to have restrictions for a little while longer and then get a real life back. You know, go to the pub, go to a football match etc. Hopefully without masks.

I suppose the downside is that the normal death rate will soon be back to normal. Would you be happier then?

Being stuck at home isn't the problem,  the problem is millions waiting for NHS treatment, including for cancer.  This highest rates of child mental health cases ever recorded.  Whole industries on their knees and millions of jobs on the line.  People's lives on hold, opportunities that may never come again.  There has to be balance, and with moving goalposts all the time the UK government seems to have lost all perspective.

[FirstWorldProblems]

5 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Everyone has the right to vent. It’s a question of directing your anger to the real cause of your anguish, not blaming the wrong people unfairly 

In times of great stress and when under distress, people aren’t always themselves nor to they always think as rationally as under normal circumstances.  
 

I wonder if it might not be time to draw this thread to a close.   Perhaps everything that can be said has now been said.  

[Paul1Perth]

50 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

Being stuck at home isn't the problem,  the problem is millions waiting for NHS treatment, including for cancer.  This highest rates of child mental health cases ever recorded.  Whole industries on their knees and millions of jobs on the line.  People's lives on hold, opportunities that may never come again.  There has to be balance, and with moving goalposts all the time the UK government seems to have lost all perspective.

The NHS were swamped, what could they do?

The UK is not the only country that didn't take it seriously, you are looking a lot better than the rest of europe.

IMO you may as well blame social media and devices for kids mental health problems.

[Rallyman]

3 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

Being stuck at home isn't the problem,  the problem is millions waiting for NHS treatment, including for cancer.  This highest rates of child mental health cases ever recorded.  Whole industries on their knees and millions of jobs on the line.  People's lives on hold, opportunities that may never come again.  There has to be balance, and with moving goalposts all the time the UK government seems to have lost all perspective.

My sil was diagnosed with Brest cancer mid last year , her treatment chemo and radio all carried out  as planed no hold ups or cancelations. 
Industries around the world have been effected not just uk. 

[Jon the Hat]

3 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

The NHS were swamped, what could they do?

The UK is not the only country that didn't take it seriously, you are looking a lot better than the rest of europe.

IMO you may as well blame social media and devices for kids mental health problems.

the key word being were.  They were swamped last year, now there are empty Covid wards.  Why are we still locked down?  It is madness.

[MacGyver]

3 hours ago, FirstWorldProblems said:

In times of great stress and when under distress, people aren’t always themselves nor to they always think as rationally as under normal circumstances.  
 

I wonder if it might not be time to draw this thread to a close.   Perhaps everything that can be said has now been said.  

I think you are right. It is easy to forget how dark it can be during crises and I have myself behaved quite irrationally during periods of grief. I think I need to extend more patience and sympathy, regardless of comments I may disagree with on this thread by the OP. Closing the thread is probably a good idea.

[Rallyman]

7 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

the key word being were.  They were swamped last year, now there are empty Covid wards.  Why are we still locked down?  It is madness.

Careful what you wish for , 

when are you moving over here ? 
1 case and a whole state will get shut down, how would you feel about that ? 

[newjez]

9 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

the key word being were.  They were swamped last year, now there are empty Covid wards.  Why are we still locked down?  It is madness.

Because, with the vaccine we have a chance of beating this for good. No more lockdowns. But only if we don't blow it.

[Paul1Perth]

20 hours ago, BusbyBoo said:

Thank you Marisa and hug’s accepted , and I agree about the venting. Sometimes I think we do it on a forum because we are anonymous, and it’s easier to argue on here without repercussions. As someone who constantly feels anxious I often feel I read answers I know would set me off to dark place. As such I always think very carefully about what effect my response might have on a worried and distressed forum user. As an example my DD once informed me when I texted her and I hadn’t  added any kisses or emoj  I must be mad with her. I guess sometimes when a blunt answer is given in a post the OP feels the same. My DH thinks I’m nuts but lots of us are sensitive to the written word and read into the wrong meaning from well meaning people. Until recently I hadn’t given it much thought but a good neighbour of mine posted an innocent thing on Facebook and was brutally attacked with comments even threats to her business, she was distraught and took to her bed for days. 
I know the forum is a brilliant place and many posters offer great advice. But everyone has different writing styles and sometimes they may come across a little blunt .

I’m definitely not here to offend anyone. I have enough of my own problems

Is this a female thing, getting upset by social media posts? I know my wife has a friend in the UK that gets upset if she doesn't repond to messages straight away or doesn't put kisses or whatever. I just told her to stop messaging, why bother?

I have a friend who came out on holiday, had a great time. We message each other about every 6  months no kisses or emojis and know we are still friends if we don't hear from each other for another 6 months.

[Paul1Perth]

14 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

the key word being were.  They were swamped last year, now there are empty Covid wards.  Why are we still locked down?  It is madness.

You have a timetable for getting out of it. What's the rush?

[Tulip1]

19 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

the key word being were.  They were swamped last year, now there are empty Covid wards.  Why are we still locked down?  It is madness.

They could easily fill up again if we suddenly come out of lockdown.  It’s not by magic they’re no longer full, it’s the power of lockdown and the vaccine rollout. We are going great but there’s still approx 6000 new cases a day. Far more of course as not everyone gets tested. Out of lockdown that figure will rise. We have to take the plunge at some point but slow and careful is best.  Mind you, from what I’ve witnessed over the last few weeks most seem to think it’s all over.  New haircuts turning up everywhere and people are clearly not just leaving home for essential things, it’s all getting back to normal. People seem very good at coming up with a reason why they can break the Covid rules, they almost talk themselves into that what they’re doing is ok. You’d be amazed at how many ‘sort of bubbles’ I’ve heard about recently. 

Edited March 26, 2021 by Tulip1

[Jon the Hat]

11 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

You have a timetable for getting out of it. What's the rush?

For me personally none - I am very fortunate to have bee working throughout. For the millions of self employed and business owners hanging on by their fingernails every day is swallowing their savings and burdening them with debt they will never be able to repay.  

[newjez]

36 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

For me personally none - I am very fortunate to have bee working throughout. For the millions of self employed and business owners hanging on by their fingernails every day is swallowing their savings and burdening them with debt they will never be able to repay.  

I think the greatest criticism from the Wetherspoon's chairman was the inconsistency of the rules, and the constant chopping and changing. If they had a roadmap laid down, businesses would be able to plan. We finally seem to have that. So let's stick to it and finally get this right.

[Parley]

16 hours ago, newjez said:

I think the greatest criticism from the Wetherspoon's chairman was the inconsistency of the rules, and the constant chopping and changing. If they had a roadmap laid down, businesses would be able to plan. We finally seem to have that. So let's stick to it and finally get this right.

Covid is not really a thing where you just create a plan, follow it and nothing ever changes.

In Australia the government of each State often have to leap into action and deal with the situation when an outbreak occurs. Can be a short lockdown, close the borders for a few weeks or whatever is needed.

[FirstWorldProblems]

1 hour ago, Parley said:

Covid is not really a thing where you just create a plan, follow it and nothing ever changes.

In Australia the government of each State often have to leap into action and deal with the situation when an outbreak occurs. Can be a short lockdown, close the borders for a few weeks or whatever is needed.

I think the difference is they have built those plans in advance so when an event occurs, they know what to do and they act straight away because it’s been anticipated and modelled. 
 

Until very recently that has not been the case in the U.K.  Each time there was a change in the behaviour of Covid or the R-rate etc,, there would be a gap of several frustrating weeks before action was taken. 

[newjez]

8 hours ago, Parley said:

Covid is not really a thing where you just create a plan, follow it and nothing ever changes.

In Australia the government of each State often have to leap into action and deal with the situation when an outbreak occurs. Can be a short lockdown, close the borders for a few weeks or whatever is needed.

Australia has a very different situation to the UK.

It really wasn't that hard to predict what was happening. Opening up pubs and then closing them weeks later? That must have been a killer. 

Encouraging people to eat out before our numbers were contained? These were school boy errors.

Substantial meal? What was that all about?

 

Edited March 27, 2021 by newjez

[Dusty Plains]

On 25/03/2021 at 22:58, MacGyver said:

I think you are right. It is easy to forget how dark it can be during crises and I have myself behaved quite irrationally during periods of grief. I think I need to extend more patience and sympathy, regardless of comments I may disagree with on this thread by the OP. Closing the thread is probably a good idea.

I have  a different view. This an Australian website that is not necessarily solely populated by or wholly subscribed by "Poms in Oz" only.  If I were to join a UK website and vent my spleen against the UK, on some sort of pretext that my family issues were caused by the UK,  I would have been attacked left right and centre and more.

I doubt that Loopyloo ever had a case to prosecute, to be frank, other than the fact that he/she either hated Australia and Australians, or more the case that he/she despised the fact that Australia was doing particularly well in terms of the response to Covid 19 and the UK was not doing as well.  Perhaps he/she thought that somehow there existed some sort of historic rivalry between the the two countries. As long as there is Cricket being played of course, but what a small tiny rivalry there exists between the two who have a wonderful broader relationship.

Yet post after post the OP (possibly after doing some research) dredged up new "issues" to post, as a desperate means to hate Australia, and did you notice that over time the original gripes had disappeared and were replaced by new gripes against Australia?  

Keep them coming. By the volume of posts countering your dubious assertions you are only enraging the Brits here on PIO.

 

Edited March 28, 2021 by Dusty Plains

[Parley]

10 hours ago, Dusty Plains said:

I have  a different view. This an Australian website that is not necessarily solely populated by or wholly subscribed by "Poms in Oz" only.  If I were to join a UK website and vent my spleen against the UK, on some sort of pretext that my family issues were caused by the UK,  I would have been attacked left right and centre and more.

I doubt that Loopyloo ever had a case to prosecute, to be frank, other than the fact that he/she either hated Australia and Australians, or more the case that he/she despised the fact that Australia was doing particularly well in terms of the response to Covid 19 and the UK was not doing as well.  Perhaps he/she thought that somehow there existed some sort of historic rivalry between the the two countries. As long as there is Cricket being played of course, but what a small tiny rivalry there exists between the two who have a wonderful broader relationship.

Yet post after post the OP (possibly after doing some research) dredged up new "issues" to post, as a desperate means to hate Australia, and did you notice that over time the original gripes had disappeared and were replaced by new gripes against Australia?  

Keep them coming. By the volume of posts countering your dubious assertions you are only enraging the Brits here on PIO.

 

And this is not the first thread she has posted bashing Australia.

[Paul1Perth]

15 hours ago, Dusty Plains said:

I have  a different view. This an Australian website that is not necessarily solely populated by or wholly subscribed by "Poms in Oz" only.  If I were to join a UK website and vent my spleen against the UK, on some sort of pretext that my family issues were caused by the UK,  I would have been attacked left right and centre and more.

I doubt that Loopyloo ever had a case to prosecute, to be frank, other than the fact that he/she either hated Australia and Australians, or more the case that he/she despised the fact that Australia was doing particularly well in terms of the response to Covid 19 and the UK was not doing as well.  Perhaps he/she thought that somehow there existed some sort of historic rivalry between the the two countries. As long as there is Cricket being played of course, but what a small tiny rivalry there exists between the two who have a wonderful broader relationship.

Yet post after post the OP (possibly after doing some research) dredged up new "issues" to post, as a desperate means to hate Australia, and did you notice that over time the original gripes had disappeared and were replaced by new gripes against Australia?  

Keep them coming. By the volume of posts countering your dubious assertions you are only enraging the Brits here on PIO.

 

I don't get enraged by anything on social media Dusty, might have a bit of a giggle how people think and get upset TBH. That's about as bad as it gets.