Don't ever self doubt, you post here for a reason, you want to leave australia, go for it!

[Brumbles]

I agree Chortlespuss the humour issue can be a real barrier.... In my experience Australians do err towards the American sense of humour. This is not meant to be a "knock Aussies post" but I do think its easier to strike up a conversation in the uk. Just stand at a bar in a pub or at a bus stop. Somehow Australians are more "closed off" and less approachable. Families, sport and church are massive to a lot of Aussies....

[Johndoe]

No. Not this. I have met a lot of lovely Ozzies and they quite openly state that they don't have time for relationships

 

 

But that is a reason and not the same as "superficial"

[Booma]

This makes me feel so much better! 10 years on and we have no real Aussie friends. I can't relate! Some people I work with are just horrible to me. I get on well with most folks usually! I've met some lovely people of course but they're never moving past the acquaintance stage. It's sad but it seems we're very culturally different which is unexpected since we come from the same ancestors. I wonder how we lost that connection. That's a whole anthropological study right there! I'm exhausted after every work day. It's just exhausting. We don't share the same sense of banter and humour. I feel like I'm fulfilling that 'whinging pom' stereotype and you know, I don't care anymore! We had q a few Aussie friends back home. We went out of our way to welcome them into our social circles and families and we had a blast. Some of the best nights out in memory! It saddens me that we are not welcomed. It's very superficial. I've given all I can and it's just depressing. I feel like I can't be me. I'm a different person. Feeling down and breaking down. Time to move back home? We're citizens too now. We'd miss the amazing diversity of this beautiful land and its beautiful wildlife but the diversity stops there. I'm sick of being looked at as if I'm a 3-headed alien! I came here to see if ur was just us. It's sad to see it isn't. But it's also such a relief. I rarely hate anything and right now I hate being here.

 

One word stands out for me and one that I see often, superficial. It's very accurate.

 

 

what do you mean when you call ozzies superficial? describe it.

[Gbye grey sky]

This makes me feel so much better! 10 years on and we have no real Aussie friends. I can't relate! Some people I work with are just horrible to me. I get on well with most folks usually! I've met some lovely people of course but they're never moving past the acquaintance stage. It's sad but it seems we're very culturally different which is unexpected since we come from the same ancestors. I wonder how we lost that connection. That's a whole anthropological study right there! I'm exhausted after every work day. It's just exhausting. We don't share the same sense of banter and humour. I feel like I'm fulfilling that 'whinging pom' stereotype and you know, I don't care anymore! We had q a few Aussie friends back home. We went out of our way to welcome them into our social circles and families and we had a blast. Some of the best nights out in memory! It saddens me that we are not welcomed. It's very superficial. I've given all I can and it's just depressing. I feel like I can't be me. I'm a different person. Feeling down and breaking down. Time to move back home? We're citizens too now. We'd miss the amazing diversity of this beautiful land and its beautiful wildlife but the diversity stops there. I'm sick of being looked at as if I'm a 3-headed alien! I came here to see if ur was just us. It's sad to see it isn't. But it's also such a relief. I rarely hate anything and right now I hate being here.

 

I wonder if it is more the big city thing than nationality. London and the south east was like that to me. Lived in Surrey for nearly 30 years and hardly left any 'friends' behind. Not a slight on them at all. It is just that everyone, including me, was so bloody busy all the time and superficial relationships was all anyone had the time and energy for.

[JockinTas]

I wonder if it is more the big city thing than nationality. London and the south east was like that to me. Lived in Surrey for nearly 30 years and hardly left any 'friends' behind. Not a slight on them at all. It is just that everyone, including me, was so bloody busy all the time and superficial relationships was all anyone had the time and energy for.

 

The best friends I have in Australia, I met at work. As you say GGS, what with working full time and caring for a family there's not much time left for making friends anywhere else. I was lucky enough to meet them as we shared the same interests and sense of humour. They left my workplace years ago but we have always remained good friends - meeting up at weekends and they are the kind of people you can talk about anything with. We 'get' each other if you know what I mean, I'm also a person who doesn't need people around all the time. I very much enjoy my own space so it didn't bother me to up sticks and move to Tasmania. All three of my good friends have visited us here and will be coming again in January and Feb. My next door neighbour asked me into her house for a cuppa earlier and to give me a book she'd read that she thought I might enjoy. I've never felt lonely here but I do sympathise with people who do feel lonely and down ............... would make anybody feel depressed.

[kiwiathome]

I think this is a very important topic to keep going. It is great to have the discussion. I have really struggled in this country. I have not struggled in another country. This is my first point. After 8 years I am laying the law down. Life is short, let's hope not, but can be.

 

I do not want to stay in a country that has not been right for me; just not made me the best person I can be. And I want to be the best person I can be. So my family are leaving, and we are compromising with my hubby, who I never want to be without, but I have to respect and understand he is not attached to me, and is passionate about his career. Be the best person you can be first as an individual, then support others.

 

I absolutely think it is wonderful some ex pats come here, make a great life and think it is better. I am very happy for you, because we should all seek for what makes up happy. But not be down on those who "get" Australia. If we all keep searching for what makes us happy, have the guts to seek change, and support others, maybe the world would be a happier place. Maybe less horrible news.

 

Anyone who wants to post on this thread with confusion, or doubt or upset, needs to be supported no matter what country. And I hope with that support, we all find the strength to find what we are seeking for, and all make this world a happy place.

 

I know I want that for my children, the future generation.

[bristolman]

I think this is a very important topic to keep going. It is great to have the discussion. I have really struggled in this country. I have not struggled in another country. This is my first point. After 8 years I am laying the law down. Life is short, let's hope not, but can be.

 

I do not want to stay in a country that has not been right for me; just not made me the best person I can be. And I want to be the best person I can be. So my family are leaving, and we are compromising with my hubby, who I never want to be without, but I have to respect and understand he is not attached to me, and is passionate about his career. Be the best person you can be first as an individual, then support others.

 

I absolutely think it is wonderful some ex pats come here, make a great life and think it is better. I am very happy for you, because we should all seek for what makes up happy. But not be down on those who "get" Australia. If we all keep searching for what makes us happy, have the guts to seek change, and support others, maybe the world would be a happier place. Maybe less horrible news.

 

Anyone who wants to post on this thread with confusion, or doubt or upset, needs to be supported no matter what country. And I hope with that support, we all find the strength to find what we are seeking for, and all make this world a happy place.

 

I know I want that for my children, the future generation.

 

As I have said before there is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to countries or even areas within a country. How many times do we see people say they could never live in Queensland because of the hunidity or could never live in Melbourne because of the crappy weather.

I grew up in Australia and most consider me more Australian than English BUT I don't feel Australian and find it much easier to get on with people in this country.

It's not wrong to prefer one country or another, lots of Brits live happily in Australia, lots of Australians live happily in the UK.

[bunbury61]

I wonder if it is more the big city thing than nationality. London and the south east was like that to me. Lived in Surrey for nearly 30 years and hardly left any 'friends' behind. Not a slight on them at all. It is just that everyone, including me, was so bloody busy all the time and superficial relationships was all anyone had the time and energy for.

 

I can understand that

[starlight7]

Sometimes,also, you have to be a bit cautious who you make friends with and maybe some Aussies are very careful this way so it takes a while for them to commit. I have had the odd, shall we say, difficult friendship and this is what I am like too these days.

[Imapla]

We have lived in quite a few houses in Aus - I think it takes a while for a house to become your home - can be months - even years and then one day you look around you and you think yes this is home ........ and then probably a few months later (if you are renting) you move again! and that is (some) migrants life until they find their forever home

[Imapla]

Thank you for your reply @bristolman ..sorry my 1st post is so negative. It's just how I feel right now & I feel I have no outlet for it. Everyone at home thinks it's all beaches & paradise here...like real life doesn't go on. I think I need a dose of home. Thanks again. It's comforting to know it's not just us.

 

Hi - a dose of home is probably a good idea but don't go in July when it is all lovely or Christmas - if you can go for couple of months ie not just a holiday in November or jan/feb and you may just get it out of your system (only saying that cos I wish I'd done that). I know its not all beaches and paradise but there is a lot of beauty over there to fill up your soul and yearning for 'home' stops you from seeing it

[Chortlepuss]

We have lived in quite a few houses in Aus - I think it takes a while for a house to become your home - can be months - even years and then one day you look around you and you think yes this is home ........ and then probably a few months later (if you are renting) you move again! and that is (some) migrants life until they find their forever home

 

We are on house 5 in coming up to 10 years. Constantly having to move house is a pain in the butt, takes so much time and energy - this is the reality for many tenants- landlords decide to put the rent up 50%, decide to move back in or do no maintenance so the house becomes unliveable. I'm sure that is the reality for tenants everywhere, not just Australia - but I rent my property out in UK to tenants who have been in place for 5 years - rarely raise the rent - although it is way below market now, they are good tenants who are worthy of my respect... Wish I could find an Aussie landlord who treats me the same! Having to rent in Oz is a key driver to our returning home and my reluctance to sell my property is no doubt reflective of how much I can't commit to moving here forever.

[Brumbles]

Chortlepuss I wish we had not sold our house in the UK 10 years ago when we moved out to aussie. We could not decide whethere to sell it or rent it out, we chose to sell it and commit to life in Australia. After 10 years here we are going home to the UK. We have just sold our house here which we bought 8 years ago. We managed to sell for $40,000 more than we paid. We actually put in a pool which cost $50,00 so i guess we lost money. The housing market where we live in Aus is dire and will be returning home to the uk looking at the first time buyer housing market, especially with the weak aussie dollar. I guess at least we did not loose too much on our house and managed to sell in about 5 months. Houses around here are often in the market for a year plus...

[speakeasy]

[kiwiathome]

Starlight, I find your comment really sad. We should not expect or settle for difficult friendships. I think our expectations should be above this, and either you need to move country or change friends.

 

Scottie, don't self doubt yourself. You already know deep down what you think, and what you want to do. Just staying a long time in the wrong country is not going to make things better, or change

anything.

 

Trust yourself, and go where your heart is. All the best. Kiwi.

[kiwiathome]

And my above comments are not based on superiority or judgement, more experience. Life is too short. I am all for supporting others and being honest. Australia is a tricky country. A lot of us don't get it.

 

For those of you that do, help the ones that want to stay. I can't do that, because I have made the decision to leave after 8 years. But it is not about the country, its about supporting people. If you get Australia

and want to stay, then support them.

 

If they want to leave, don't put guilt on them. Why waste constant years in a country that is hard to live in, not overly social, and you don't get. Life, family, happiness, people matter way more. x

[Huntersmummy]

I'm glad this thread is here as I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't in love with Oz.

I moved here thinking, VERYYY naively that it was "Home and Away"...I couldn't be more wrong. But its an experience none the less!

I miss my life in the UK. Id even go as far as Ebaying my first born to wake up on a cold morning! ;)I certainly wouldn't knock anyone who moves here and loves it or hates it.

 

But deffo agree on you should do what makes your family happy

You only get one life after all!

[kiwiathome]

I hope this thread helps someone, that is a nice outcome.

 

I am a person who usually sees the glass half full, not empty. And I have held back on this forum. Not all the time, caused a few upsets and got into a few tiffs, and to be fair, I may have been emotional at times and in a bad place with not much room to move, so I lashed out. Probably at a forum. Have never been on a forum before. I guess I joined this forum because I never found anyone to talk to in Australia.

 

Now to re state, those of you who have move here and love it, can it be just for one time to support those of us who don't love it here. Have found it hard. We are not taking you down because you love Australia. We are all human beings on this earth, there is enough worry, hate and terroism.

 

I have lived in many countries. This is the only one, after 8 years, I cannot stand. I am not making excuses anymore for that. It is what it is. I have stood my ground, got more mature, and after 8 years we are leaving. Plan with hubby. I don't think the country we live in defines us, I think how we feel, act on a day to day basis, what friendships, family or support, or happiness, or what we can do for a community, that defines us.

 

No one should feel guilty or dis heartened to leave a country and try again. That is not failure, that is strong.

[kiwiathome]

Cheers Tink. I appreciate anything at the moment. My hubby is in USA, I have a kidney infection, but I am going off to read stories to my girls. A nice time. Safe in the knowledge that soon I am moving back to NZ. And I can care for my 3 elderly "parents" and they can care for me.

 

Family matters more than anything. While "again" the doctors said you need to go to hospital for IV antibiotics, I said no. I have no one to care for my children If I am gone. If I go home, that horrible feeling of "who do I have to care for my children" leaves me.

What a blessing to know I can call on family.

 

And I have been through many situations over 8 years. Just saying, what matters to me most is family and support. Not the country I live in. A bonus if you get family and support in the country you live in. Just think you first have to be happy in yourself as a parent/adult, and then you do need to logically think. Who can step in if you get sick to care for your kids???? Well I don't have any options for that question. And my kids come first.

[Guest241083]

…………I wish you well kiwi….!

………..and agree it takes a strength to move when alls not right

……….but it also takes a strength to stay………

………..when the need of others outweighs your wants…..

………..to put family first……..here or there is the lot of many….

……….to please all,including yourself…….a constant conundrum for some…

……….as often family scatter to the 4 corners of the earth,,,,

……….often its not the country………..its the situation one findss oneself in…..

……….good luck in your move………..may it be everything you need……Xxx

[JockinTas]

I'm glad this thread is here as I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't in love with Oz.

I moved here thinking, VERYYY naively that it was "Home and Away"...I couldn't be more wrong. But its an experience none the less!

I miss my life in the UK. Id even go as far as Ebaying my first born to wake up on a cold morning! ;)I certainly wouldn't knock anyone who moves here and loves it or hates it.

 

But deffo agree on you should do what makes your family happy

You only get one life after all!

 

I have to admit that Darwin would be the last place in Australia (apart from the middle of nowhere) I would like to live. The heat and the humidity in summer must be horrible. Today in Devonport it was 22C and tonight it's pouring with rain which we very badly need.

 

I read in one of your posts that you are finding it quite hard to find a job. Hope you have success with that soon. How is your husband settling in?

Edited November 30, 2015 by JockinTas

[Skylark]

Thanks for posting this speakeasy, It was a joy to watch, a very inspiring young lady...

[Marisawright]

I'm glad this thread is here as I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't in love with Oz.

I moved here thinking, VERYYY naively that it was "Home and Away"...I couldn't be more wrong. But its an experience none the less!

I miss my life in the UK. Id even go as far as Ebaying my first born to wake up on a cold morning! ;)I certainly wouldn't knock anyone who moves here and loves it or hates it.

 

 

Of course it's nothing like Home and Away, that's set in a different state hundreds of miles away! I lived in Sydney (where Home and Away is filmed) and loved it, but I wouldn't move to Darwin for any money. It's a completely different culture and lifestyle and it just wouldn't suit me, I'd be miserable.

 

It's a shame that so many migrants think such a huge country is exactly the same all over. After all, if I said to you, "I love Coronation Street so I'm moving to the UK and I've found a flat in Surbiton", wouldn't you point out that different areas of England have different kinds of people and different cultures.

 

That's why I am so picky when people post and say "I hate Australia" or "Australian landlords are bad" etc - because they DON'T mean Australia, they just mean the city or state they're living in - and I wish they would say that, so people get the message that all of Oz is NOT the same. The different states are very different in weather, culture, even some of the laws.

 

I know several people who lived happily in Sydney, moved to Perth and loathed it - and vice versa! Which just goes to show it's all about personal taste, not about some cities being nice and some not.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Marisawright

[Jacaranda]

You'd be surprised (Or maybe not lol)Marisa,the amount of times people have said to me "I watch H & A,and Australia looks very nice"!lol When I give them the reality slap,they look disappointed!I love Australia,but come on!Are people that naïve that they don't think Australia have large swathes of council housing?That not everyone,lives by a gorgeous beach,living day in day out in the café culture??My Australia,the part I know very well,has some H & A,some Police Force Australia (yes we get that show in the UK,watched it last night actually!),and every conceivable bit in between.As I say re both countries,good,bad and ugly!

I guess its abit like holidays really.Some people go somewhere,and just stay in the resort,never leaving the area to see the true side of the country.Personally I enjoy seeing that part. I watched a doco once,where people were taken to places like the Maldives,Cancun etc.They had spent all their holidays in resorts.Anyway they were then taken to where the hotel staff lived.Humble abodes,some very poor area's actually.Guess what?They were all genuinely shocked??Beggars belief!

[bristolman]

You'd be surprised (Or maybe not lol)Marisa,the amount of times people have said to me "I watch H & A,and Australia looks very nice"!lol When I give them the reality slap,they look disappointed!I love Australia,but come on!Are people that naïve that they don't think Australia have large swathes of council housing?That not everyone,lives by a gorgeous beach,living day in day out in the café culture??My Australia,the part I know very well,has some H & A,some Police Force Australia (yes we get that show in the UK,watched it last night actually!),and every conceivable bit in between.As I say re both countries,good,bad and ugly!

I guess its abit like holidays really.Some people go somewhere,and just stay in the resort,never leaving the area to see the true side of the country.Personally I enjoy seeing that part. I watched a doco once,where people were taken to places like the Maldives,Cancun etc.They had spent all their holidays in resorts.Anyway they were then taken to where the hotel staff lived.Humble abodes,some very poor area's actually.Guess what?They were all genuinely shocked??Beggars belief!

 

I don't think it is naivety to be honest, some people want it to be like that, they don't want to hear it isnt a paradise as it will spoil their fantasy. We have been getting less and less of that sort of thing though, I think with the advent and popularity of the Internet people are able to Google things instantly.

Now I am more likely to have people commented on how expensive they have heard it is or unemployment etc.