kiwiathome

Hi, Kiwiathome (previously known kiwiinoz, I think). I have been away from this forum for a long time. I knew one day I would reply back, as I had a comment posted at me, that I looked back at later, kiwiinoz used to post here unhappily. I don't remember who posted it, but soo true. This is a nice thread to return to as it is positive stories returning to the UK or any country. I am happily settled back in NZ for nearly 3 years. It is home for me. It is amazing when you return home, how peaceful and confident you feel. I don't want to say too much, just wanted to express that home really does matter. And you know when you are home. Life has moved on for me amazingly, but I do not think that this post it about that. When I left Australia after 8 years, came home, set my feet down with my family, I just had such a sense of peace, happiness and confidence. So to the comment I remember, yes I at times did post unhappily, there was a lot going on that wasn't good. However, now I am very happy. Good luck to you all and home is where the heart is. xx

Hi Perthbum, nice to speak to you again. Yes I understand. I was desperate to move back to UK where I had soo many happy memories. But countries have changed. I think now more open mind, and find the country we can best live in, do good, go forth and have a nice life. I wanted to move back to the UK, but now, not so sure. It has become a difficult world in some ways. I think safety, support, peace, has become very important. I will probably not take my family out of NZ now. Quite a u turn. All the best.

Hi Ozzie. I hope you receive this reply. It has been a long time since I have posted and I hope they do not move me. Yes, I am amazingly settled. Because I came home. You know deep down where home is. Your OH, with help, guidance and support, communication, deep down knows where home is. Once home you need a rest, recover, then clarify. Then you gain confidence and the world is your oyster. I don't think it is anywhere. Deep down we know where home is. Then we find strength, have a rest, recover, get excited, and go for it. All the best. xxx

I was a senior member, not understanding why you are moving me. Can you not please, at this stage, as I would like to share my story and encourage and help. Thank you.

Hi to all, I was Kiwi in Aus for some time. Determined to move back to UK, now happy in NZ. Home. I have not posted on here for a long time. Now I am. Two things I wish to clear up. When in Australia, which I hated, I did my best. But was not my true me. I turned to this forum because I was unhappy, had no or limited friends, and did not know who I was. Tension with my husband, he was always away with his career. Eventually I said enough, after 8 years, I am worth something, I deserve a career, I can not stand this country, not home. Long story short, we moved. We put family first and found ways to move forward. Husband left Virgin Australia (airline pilot) and has moved to China Easteran. Means we can move back to NZ. He is happier. Kids are happier. Brilliant schools, back with family. Since we have been home, HOME, the important word, all has fallen into place. Our kids are going guns. My husband has been head hunted by a university in aviation, with less stress overall. I have started a new job, in health administration, PA, and health assistant. None of this would of happened if we had not have moved. I appreciate this thread, because I posted here in my lonely times in a country I could not stand. Lasted 8 years. I am now back. Maybe briefly I do not know. But now back to say, you need to go where you are comfortable and strong to change things. When you are strong, contented, supported anything is possible. Time is not the answer. Things do not get better with time. It can get worst. Trust your instinct, and go for it. I can not believe how much our life has turned around in 12 months. The ripple effect. Change one thing, be positive, have hope, and anything wonderful can happen. From a very happy and contented Kiwi at home. xxxxxx Bless you all.

Hi to all. Have not been on this thread for a long time. Been busy. Moved country to home. You can not heal if you do not listen deep down and move home. You have an instinct, listen to it. We left Australia after 8 years, hated it. It was wrong. Amazing how everything falls into place once you move home, or where you think home is. I was unhappy in Australia for 8 years, had only one friend, logged onto this because only friend because I was always doing wrong or out of loneliness. I appreciated all the comments, my first time back. I have moved soooo forward. I here to heal. You need to go home, make peace with family, and heal. Home is where you feel comfortable and relaxed, Feel inspired to help others. We left Australia after 8 years. It never got better. I got better after moving home. My marriage got better. I am starting work, but conclusion is, we have come home. f Find home, find support, release hurt, get strong and move forward. Forgive when needed. :wubclub:

Hi, back. Iamlmj, and others. I have been back since start of Jan with my girls, hubby come and go. Yes NZ has been far more home than Ausi, but, I feel I have still learnt. Home is where your family or children are. You can always strive to do better, but it is hard to please all. Family certainly comes first, but within that, it still comes down to the individual. I am more at ease here, than Ausi, but reality is, any country has obstacles. Ultimately we still have a long term goal, but you have to live in the present to some extent and make it work. I do believe you have an instinct in what country is right or wrong. And I think sticking toghether as a family matters more than the country.

I think Quoll what you said above is quite harsh. Might work for you, but I don't think for some. Maybe re read back over your post. For those feeling a bit down, or struggling, you may need to re read. I am sure in best intentions, but many do not think this way. Just trying.

I absolutely agree Petals, we have phases in our lives. I firmly believe in the "7 year cycle". That means the next 7 years for me and my family is going to be great, because I have taken a stance, and said, not great for us, lets go home. Cater for all, but if something not working, acknowledge it, and make a change. I think that is actually the strong thing to do. Petals, as usual, I find everything you say fascinating. And I think this forum is very good for you, and I think you help others. In a smaller way, I may be similar. Oh I am sorry, I only saw now the widow part. I am very sorry for you, I did not see that earlier. I am sorry for your loss. How nice you help others. Quoll, Lostilly etc , others, I know I have come on at times and said some silly things, or acted emotionally. Prob both v true. It was never about hurting anyone, just I was feeling pretty low in a country I did not like, with a few problems, and not many people to speak too. I have really struggled here. Perhaps that is why I get so verbal. We are very close to moving home to NZ. Then later England. Hubby and I have become closer once this decision. I have been through a few natural disasters since living here, but nothing comparing to what I have struggled through with my youngest daughter. I do not like living in Australia, sure, but one of the main reasons we are going home, is because our youngest daughter, 10, has been violent towards me for the last six years. Too much? Fair enough. Going home will hopefully help her and Nana, and Grandma involved, I think will help. I don't honestly think I would survive anymore in this situation. So I am guess I am saying before I goo home, matter off days, can't wait, after nearly 8 years, home is where the heart is and the support is. And if you need help in cetain matters, look into your gut. We are all human, we care and do our best, but sometimes we need help. Go home, to wherever that is, if that is what you need. I am, and I am doing better for my family for it. All the best, kiwi, going home. xxx

Oh Ali now I am lost! I thought I was helping someone, but old forum??? I don't think to check dates. I just step in when I feel strongly to help someone. OK bless all, x.

Ravenswood, I absolutely disagree. It is nothing to do with homesickness, and as you state, it does not pass. First instinct is far more appropriate. I have been here many years, only country I have disliked, got worst every year gone on. and sure, you don't have too take my word, but guess I don't have too take your word. It is about the poster. It won't get better. Every year in a country you don't like, with no family support, and a hubby who does not support you, oh come on. Support the poster and let her go home to support and familiarity. And not feel judged or guilt.

I did not read all the comments, too many. But I am sure there are many that have gone off track. Remember, this is about the poster. Nothing else. And she has probably lost confidence and feels very confused. So make this not about Australia, or versus England, but about a nice lady who is desperate. I feel very worried the statement your hubby made. If my hubby made that statement to me, I would walk out. Be confident, go home. Get support, care for your kids, be your best. You are not defined by what your hubby states. If he truly loves you or makes you priority, he will come back to England. If it is still all too much, again, just go home. Bollocks this make it work out in a country and stay soooo many years. 8 months is real, with no moving forward. Trust your gut instinct. x.

Moonwalker, hi how are you?? I hope this forum has helped. I joined this forum, because I could not stand living in Australia. Others will put their opinions on your, or comments, because they have their own dielemmas. That's OK. Because when you are strong, you can help back. You want to go home, you want to protect your kids. You are suffering from guilt. Forget the "going off into all directions", this is fair enough for these people, they want to be heard. support them later. Go home. You need to be at your best for your children. You need to belong. You need support. If your hubby cares enough, eventually he will come home. He would rather come home to the best you can be. You do not need the "approval" of others, you know deep down what you need to do. Go home. For those that want to challenge, yes I am going home very soon to NZ. 3 weeks, as a family, we are sooooo excited. All happy. However, I stayed in this country for my hubby for 7 years. Hated every year. But we talked and he stuck by me. We are going home now, he says "downgrade his job" we are more important. If you hubby gives you ultimatums like this, gives you the guilt and you trying to raise children, it won't get better. It's not about Australia, or any country you are living in. You are a good girl, with the guilt conscious, I know. Don't feel judged by others putting their two cents worth in. Support them later. Go home. You know you want to do that. Your children will be fine. If you hubby wants to be part of your family, he will follow. xx All the best.

Absolutely go home if that is what you want. I don't think you would come on here and post if this was not what you want. Australia is not an easy country to live in. Please put your instinct and logical first and go for it. Go home, UK is sooooo georgus. And yes I have been here for 8 long years, has never got better, and maybe I take the crown for this forums "most emotional poster". :cute:

Thank you Margie, nice comment. I think as a "mostly single parent" I probably worry too much. Your comments make me feel better. Yes media and technology turn mums like me into a worrying wreck. But it is the age, it is all in your face and reported more. I just know, any harm too my girls !!! I am sure many feel that way. But we have to balance giving them the skills to cope in a modern world, and can not clip their wings. I have found it hard in the past with dad away, living in Australia, but our friends and family are in NZ or England, but as many of you know, our plans are changing. Very good for me, but mostly good for my in laws, my mum and dad, and my children. We went too the beach today, and just had simple fun. If all the good keep striving, helping each other and seek support, put your kids as "priority" I am sure the world still holds much beauty. The positive does outrule the bad as above says. I do sympathise for any mostly "single" parents out there, because raising a child or children is huge. It is also an honour and a gift, and a commitment. And speakeasy as above, absolutely, don't let your spirit be broken. Even if you came from a tough childhood, you have kids, invest in the next generation, and lets all make kids a priority, and if you need help in this area then ask. Oh, and this is suppose to be related to England, love England, eventually get back there. Watch Escape to the Country and you can still comment. :wubclub: I do not like technology a lot, but appreciate this forum or any "modern" device does allow support.

Thanks. :wink: Guess I have two more years. Cheers.

Are you sure Marisa? I hope so. that is nice to hear. As my eldest daughter plans to go back to England in two years time. I love England, but for the first time I feel doubtful and worried for my kids. Yes media can be too much, but I am now doubting letting her go back to her home country. I don't know, was parenting easier in the past? Is terroissm our new battle? NZ seems very safe and far away at this stage. But a best parent supports, encourages, never clips wings, and I guesss hopes. I still feel very young, but hate the thought at soon I have to let my eldest daughter go home. :rolleyes:

Sarah how are you??? Please come on and talk if you need help.:wubclub:

Thank you Marisa, yes I am fine. It actually makes me feel good to come on here and hopefully help someone. I am so looking forward to going back to work part time in a hospital in NZ, part time. Still supporting my airline hubby, and my kids getting older. I think the world has got tougher, with technology and terroisim, and as a mum, main care giver, it does scare me at times. Just wondering what any others think. x Kiwi.:yes:

Thank you Marisa and Quoll. I appreciate the above. I have been struggling here, my hubby goes away, my youngest (10) plays up and hassells me all the time, and I have to admit, only 3 to 4 nights a week I drink wine. Then I come on here, and I get sad and angry. I know wine is not the answer, but I understand how some slip into the habit. I am from a health conscious, nutrition background, so, I will never fully succumb. But I am lonely, and I fight against it. I know I will be OK, because of my health/nutrition background and knowledge, and my dad was deemed as an alcoholic, kind of sad for me, because he was a national tennis player for NZ, went to Wanganui Collegiate, (one of the best post schools in NZ) and was good looking, bright and charming. But my mum and him, not happy,and she kept him from us. Know matter what a person does, we are all still people. Please stand by and help. I am guess I am saying this now because I am going home to NZ. I am careful with alcohol, please all do so, never have touched drugs or smokes in my life. I am not quite sure why I am going here, just please if this forum is your only help and outlet ask for help. We are all human, and lets ask for help or support. If you please need help or someone to talk too, come on and seek. Oh, and I have only ever touched alcholol in the last 3 years. After our friend took quarter a million dollars from us. But, people, health matter more. I am sorry If I am blabbing to some. But Quoll kindly made me feel important. I don't get that a lot. But yes I am important. And so are many who want to post on here. Please come on, and ask these many kind souls for help, or just simply share your story. Marisa, Sorry for the previous night. My hubby had been in USA for 5 days, 10 year old playing up, guess my patience had run out. There is always a human side. I never intended to appear rude. Sorry. You moderators give up your time, and allow others to seek advice. So thank you.

I am sorry Marissa, I still don't understand when I was rude or aggresive. I guess I don't belong on a forum.

Cheers NickyNook, you brought a smile to my face. Marissa, I am sorry if I caused any upset. I never mean no harm, but I am all out to bring support to the underdog. Maybe (very probably) I am tactless in this undertaking. I never ever mean to bring hurt to anyone. This is the only forum I belong to, and the only people I speak to. And yes, I know I am a blabbermouth. I am going now to read Christmas stories to my 10 year old, her dad is in USA. So forget my "wrong doings" can we all go off to spend extra time and love towards our kids. Maybe a better place. Thanks Nicky, you made me feel better. :wink:

Oh Sarah, I don't think it is about disputing the country by the time you come on here and state true feelings. I have never joined a forum in my life before this, still am actually not that interested in computers/technology. I think we all agree by now, there are those here who "get Australia" and are happy. So that is great and we are all pleased for them. For some of us, this has not been the case. It may all seem lost, but it is not. There are ways, and plans. And coming on this thread I think you get a lot of support from many individuals with different ideas, or different opinions, but I think there is always support. You are not hanging on by a thread. Everything can be worked out. Many will come out to support you, and maybe others. I felt similar to you a while ago, been here nearly 8 years. Lots of hurdles, many times felt alone and exhausted. There is a solution and a happy ending in sight. I am on my way back to NZ, then eventually England. I am finally getting the best for me and my daughters, and my hubby is also getting on board and seeing a bigger picture. For the first time in a long time, I don't put Australia down. And I get if it works for you, and you have all you need here and working, the rest of us should not put it down. For some it is the lucky place. For me to now be able to say that, I know I am moving on to a better future, and strong in my own right. Did not work for me, but I get why it works for others. Please talk to others around you, or if not possible, come back on and seek help. x :wubclub:

Cheers Tink. I appreciate anything at the moment. My hubby is in USA, I have a kidney infection, but I am going off to read stories to my girls. A nice time. Safe in the knowledge that soon I am moving back to NZ. And I can care for my 3 elderly "parents" and they can care for me. Family matters more than anything. While "again" the doctors said you need to go to hospital for IV antibiotics, I said no. I have no one to care for my children If I am gone. If I go home, that horrible feeling of "who do I have to care for my children" leaves me. What a blessing to know I can call on family. And I have been through many situations over 8 years. Just saying, what matters to me most is family and support. Not the country I live in. A bonus if you get family and support in the country you live in. Just think you first have to be happy in yourself as a parent/adult, and then you do need to logically think. Who can step in if you get sick to care for your kids???? Well I don't have any options for that question. And my kids come first.

I hope this thread helps someone, that is a nice outcome. I am a person who usually sees the glass half full, not empty. And I have held back on this forum. Not all the time, caused a few upsets and got into a few tiffs, and to be fair, I may have been emotional at times and in a bad place with not much room to move, so I lashed out. Probably at a forum. Have never been on a forum before. I guess I joined this forum because I never found anyone to talk to in Australia. Now to re state, those of you who have move here and love it, can it be just for one time to support those of us who don't love it here. Have found it hard. We are not taking you down because you love Australia. We are all human beings on this earth, there is enough worry, hate and terroism. I have lived in many countries. This is the only one, after 8 years, I cannot stand. I am not making excuses anymore for that. It is what it is. I have stood my ground, got more mature, and after 8 years we are leaving. Plan with hubby. I don't think the country we live in defines us, I think how we feel, act on a day to day basis, what friendships, family or support, or happiness, or what we can do for a community, that defines us. No one should feel guilty or dis heartened to leave a country and try again. That is not failure, that is strong.