kiwiathome

Oh, that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me for a long time. Thank you. I have always said I would thrive living back in "Jane Austen" time, I don't always quite fit the modern world. I wish you all the best and would love to hear your story. Isn't it nice that people still want to communicate (and I'll pretend to forget it is over a computer, and we are at a lovely café with a nice wine and a jazz band in the background). :rolleyes: x

Thank you Tink. I have so much to say, forgive me. It is not negative, how about this thread could change to our happiest memories and moving forward? All positive comments? I don't feel very negative anymore. I have realised the simpler things in life, people, ease of living and where you feel you "belong" can be achieved. And it does not have to be expensive or complicated. My hubby and I were saying earlier, how much we were looking forward to walking again at night. In Harpenden in England before we had our first child, we would walk each night holding hands, v nice. Then when we had our first baby, we walked every day, and took her to the park, and always had to race away from the swans!! but a memory. I look forward to walking again at night. It stays light at night in summer in NZ, like England.

That is nice above, fish. I also love dreaming about different lives, houses, etc. Our first house we renovated in England was a terraced 2 bedroom + box room off main bedroom , bathroom downstairs off kitchen. Big garden, lovely neighbours. It is some of our happiest memories. It was little, but cute. We renovated it, and it was our best social life we ever had. And just felt comforting! I have lived in big houses in Australia, with lots of tiles. I just don't get the same "homey" feeling. I do love interior design. There is a practical element to our decision, a two or three bedroom aparatment in Mango Hill for our Australian base, practical, minimalist, modern, close to amenities and railway line etc. But, my fun starts back home in NZ. Where it is just easy! and friendly! and social! We are going to Palmerston North, North Island, where family are all around us and it is my home town (city for NZ, 88,000). But no traffic jams or impatient drivers. It is great for education, but has wide streets, tree lined, blossom in spring, autumn leaves in autumn. Does not snow, but you do get seasons. In summer we go to the esplanade to have jazz concerts at dusk on a picnic rug. A lot of the houses are character, and well built. I look forward to growing vegetables again and having a herb garden. Also we are getting two kittens, and a small dog to go walking at night as a family. We have family over there so can commit to pets. We want a simpler life with family gatherings, my girls joining netball, swimming and tennis, maybe hockey. I will return back to tennis. Quality cafes/restaurants when you need that. It is a set year plan while our youngst (10) does her schooling. Who knows what will happen after that. But I don't need to know that at this stage. Just best move for us at moment. And why wait? Life is short. 8 years here, time to go home and have some wonderful few years ahead. Very excited. :wubclub:

My spelling above is terrible, I hope you get what I am saying. Just love people around you, and live in the country that gives you people. xxx:rolleyes:

Oh and I meant to say, I still can't wait to go home to nz. And maybe the "big" plan will be re thought, for my eldest child, due to terroism. But I don't wan this post to be about that. How terroism affects us as individulas, or family, is up to the family. We all have different interpretations. I'm now feeling so excited and happy I could burst. Going home soon, kids happy and excited, 3 grandparents excited, kittens and a puppy lined up, hubby now saying, maybe I can transfer to nz for work. That up to him. We support him being away and about career, but welcome him back. I leave queensland, knowing even falling out with my sister, she is alive just dis owned me as we are very different, there is much good to be found here. My neighbour, who has been just amazingly lovely to me, and going for walks in Redcliffe by the sea, then just simply having an ice cream. We all know deep down in our heat what is true and where we should be. I do say, again, sorry to repeat, I think people/family make the place! If you can find the balance, and achieve both, wonderful.:wubclub:

Thank you to the posts and the support above. I have read some recent threads. I actually feel guilty for making a fuss. Yes it is true, I do not like Australia as a country. And I have been negative. And I have had "issues" to deal with. I think now, as I stand here, with qualifications completed, going home, the most sorted I have ever felt, I may have put negative on to some. I am sorry for that. I think the most clarity I have leant, is, family. Even If you don't get on, or have issues, please try and resolve. I think we have learnt, to just support family. I think family, friendship and having a place of social contact, neighbours anything, can even be more important than the country you live in. We need people, social contact, family or neighbours more than screens. I don't like Australia, or Queensland, but I have finally got to know my neighbour, who I initially avoided as a "busy body". Do we naturally empoy that suspicion the second a neighbour (versus screen) becomes important???????????????? I learnt to expect nothing, here, and I was a bit suspicious at first. And now I will say, after letting my guards down, (through hurt or suspicion, or just not use to getting to know a person), I have had the most lovely social, positive, like my "mum" being here. And I appreciate it. Let's look around, stop being suspicious and see who we can let in, and maybe we will benefit. Human communication and social, still beats out technologly in my boat. Playing cards, good quality glass of wine, great conversation, kids playing with dogs, having fun. Does that make for a good feeling???? xxxx just saying I will eat humble pie. There is good in Australia, Queensland, just simply because I have met lovely neighbours who have become great friends. I think people/family overrule the country.

I am sorry also for the loss of your mum. I was set all on going back to England. Now, I am not sure. I think we have goals and dreams, and pre conceived ideas to keep us going, and I think that is wonderful. But adaption to the real world, or reality is just as important as to the luxury. I have not read a great detail as to your post or what you went through, but you went home to support your mum. Now you can analysis. We are going home to support 3 aged and sick grandparents in NZ. Then we will re think. I will not make plans until my parents/grandparents are taken care off. Then we can look and decide. I don't like living in Australia, but I get the impression you do. You went home for your mum, words don't even matter. You were there for your mum. You now do what you want to do, and all the best.

I appreciate what you have said Rachel, always happy to listen.:wubclub:

Oh thank you. I love your picture. It is all about protecting our children huh. I am just trying my best to move an unhappy family forward. And funnily enough, this forum has been the most support or conversation I have ever had. So thank you. And I hope any other mums or dads struggling out there, can maybe say the real thruth. I am going off now to read my youngest a Christmas story, that we are both looking forward too, and means a lot. Look for the simplest things, and just go back to reading your kids a story and giving them attention. Cheers. x

Thank you tea4too, I was feeling so upset I withdrew. I never meant to offend others or take others down. I guess some have been fairly right, I may come across as defensive. I am trying to go back to NZ with my kids. I had worked hard this year to renovate our house and complete a course. My hubby lost quarter a million dollars in an investment. He never listened to me. We are broke. My kids are always angry at me. I warned hubby, but he prefers screens over me. I know this is not a counselling forum, I just know I need to go home to NZ. And then reassess once youngest has got through high school. I may have put too much on this forum, I just could not make friends here. But it is ok, our house on market, I completed my study, while dealing with my mom dying from kidney cancer, and I still try everyday and say, we have a lot to be grateful for. I know we are v lucky compared to others. No intention to put down, I just like to talk. I always try and feel positive. I have never said. Till now. I just want to go home. I am tired. Yet my kids still blame me for everything, yet my husband ignores me. It is fine. I should not put this amount of pressure on a forum, or rely on it. I just could not find a friend here, living in australia, for 8 years. I am going home soon. We are finding a joint "two home base". NZ and Brisbane. I am trying to find stability again, and money again. All I want is NZ, a vegie garden, family support, 3 bedroom house good schools for my kids, and just appreciate what we have. We could have been millionaires by now, we are not. I am not blaming anymore, just want to go home and get back to simple and regain confidence. t

Cheers Susan. Speakeasy, you are from France?? How do I stand and fight? I have been through a lot in Australia, and NZ before that because of personal circumstances. I am fighting by saying to my eldest child, that our plan to go back to England/Europe might just be on hold for a moment, while we wait and see. So I guess I am fighting by knowing we have options, and knowing terroism has become a real threat, and we do have other options. And I have always stood and protected, and I have nothing against your country, and I have never cared a toss about big houses with views. People matter way more.

Thank you for the recent "likes". Felt quite upset by above. I obviously upset people, not intentional. I have the unfortunate disposition to get emotional, but it can actually be a positive emotion, and I just want to share. And I actually like to support others, and I am just excited to be going home. I don't have anyone to talk to here, so I guess my mouth runs away with me. I give my apologies if I offended, obviously I have. All good.

Just best wishes to you and your daughter. Soo pleased she OK, and quite a nice story to share. I don't think opinions or judgement matter at this stage. All the best, safe travels too her. . x.

So why are we battling?? I travelled, I know my girls will travel. And yes I worry. When I travelled and did stupid things at 20, I don't remember terrroisism as the threat it is today. And I have been through over circumstances, so I am realestic. I love England/Europe. I know all about the Tsunami, as does everyone. I expect you to be there for your boys like I am there for my girls. I did not say you are not a caring parent, you are coming across as harsh. There must be many parents on here who are worrying about their teenage children. Why not support and listen to each other. ?

"I don't think CJT said anything harsh or out of order. Was just asking the question, so how are you going to protect your children from leukaemia, being king hit, drugs, the wrong partner and any other of a number of things that statistically put them at risk more than the threat of terrorism? It is right and natural to want to protect your kids, but clipping their wings from traveling isn't likely to help much." by Peach" Intersting, not really. Really, so what do you really add to anything rather than just repeating other. When did I ever mention, king hit, drugs or luekaameia. I never said I wanted to clip her wings, I said I had the choice to not go to UK in the wake of terroisim. As I do as a mother about my children. At least it is my own thoughts.

The response is simple. I have been through a lot, and I want to protect my girls. I dont want to stop them , I am now saying a time in Japan on a univeristy scholarship seems safer than England. I disagree. At 17 and 18, no they are not entitled. This is a new world and any "caring" parent had an input, reply and response. are you kidding????? Sharks/spiders/snakes, they are my worst enemy, add in crocodiles. i have lived here for 8 years. They are not my fear. I quite like your word "vitriloic", I would look it up, but too tired as our house went on market today. Guees what, moving back to NZ to insure my chilrdren have time with their sick, aging grandparents. And, we want to leave Australia, NZ is better. We have ties to England, Europe, . It is interesting your reply, becuase we think similar. I was kicked out of home at 17. Moved to England at 20. I am trying to adjust to me eldest, work with her, I have always been about travelling and exploring the world, I did, but have your input if needed, I feel the world is different now. I love travel, I did it, but I feel the world is changed. Perhaps listen to what I am saying and share ideas in a nice way. T

No, and especially to you CJT. Do you have a child wanting to go to England/Europe away from her family??? Did you feel affected by the attacks? Have you been through anything? Well I have been through things. So have my children. It is not a distorted view to know that circumstances can be reality. I want to keep my kids safe, and "good on me". This forum should not be about attacking each other, or being insensitive. How many want to come on and post here, but back off because off stupid and unsupportive comments from certain people. Think before you post. We are just all people doing our best, and some of us get emotional by what is going on.

I know Marisa, unfortunately the world is changed and we need to re think. You do need to be very careful and take all precautions. It is such a shame, because that is the beauty and allure of England/Europe, and now people will be worrying. Who knows where will be targeted next. Yes the Lindt seige was terrible and caught us all up, but how can you even put Paris in perspective???? My eldest (born in England) wants to go back to England in two years time for Uni. I was all for it, now not sure. As a parent I am wanting to wrap my kids in cotton wool and stop them travelling. (which I loved and did when young). NZ seems so small, safe and isolated at the moment. But do we really live a life lived in fear?? And as a parent, it is a hard choice to clip wings or not. ??

Yes, I agree with you. And I was not being emotional, quite rational and positive. I am choosing, and choosing wisely. We have lived in Aus for 8 years, and have lived in many coutnries. After 8 years I can't wait to leave. Not down on Australia, not down on others who like living in Australia, just not right for us. And I am happy, because a choice is made. Going home, and being there for grandparents who are getting old and sick. And makinga better life for my kids back with their grandparents (before they go to the happy place) and back where I have support, friendship, hope and dreams. Yes hubby will commute, but that is fine. Because he still gets his great career that he loves, and needs, and he gets to come back to NZ and spend time with his mum, and he comes back to a happeir wife and family. Absolutely we should always go to where we are happy. And we are lucky on this side of the world, to have that choice and feel safe. Europe is facing such awafulness, we all need to count our blessings. England/Eurpoe is very close to our hearts, my hubby is from there, my daughter born there, I have friends in Euorpe. We wanted to move back. I am not sure now. :unsure:

Exactly! My hubby is the most over confident, arrogant, black and white person I have ever known!!! He absolutely agrees! He says that is why in a life or death situation, he will land that damn plane and not loose a life.! I couldn't do it, I admire him for that. Just does not always make for an easy marriage. But I am proud of him. I am also proud of myslef, because we are equals. And I know ramot you are still with your hubby and I have enjoyed listening to your experience.:wink:

Cheers Marisa. How r u??? All the best, kiwi. :wubclub:

When I married my hubby at 27, he left for England and gave me an ultimatium. He is an airline pilot and left NZ for England. He was going whether I was coming or not. He gave me an ultimatium. I never got a honeymoon. I followed him. Not because of paper, or obligations, or ultimatiums, but because I thought he was wonderful. Hence, our life evermore. Ups and downs, changing countries, but we are still together. We have both compromised, and we are still very happy toghether. I would have walked out long ago, and said "too hard" if I did not feel he was my soul mate, and gave me something back. It should not be too hard. If it is, is your partner you soul mate and gives you enough to make you stay???? We can all be strong on our own, if it is better than feeling cheated. Just because you marry does not mean you have to loose yourself. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. Always look within, be honest and trust your gut instinct. xx

I don't hate "Australia". I don't think I would feel strongly about that word enough to use anywhere. I have absolutely had some nice times here. It is more I don't seem to "fit" here or get much back. But I don't hate it. It is not about taking you down because you have a good fit here. As you say to me, all the best, same back to you. That is why we are trying to change things up a bit and find a better life. Because life can be short. Chortlepuss, I have had similar. I tried soooo hard to make friends, extend invitations, took others kids after school, offered play dates. I just got nothing back. Not meant to stir, or be dishonest, just did not get any effort or friendship here. And I want that in life. So, not putting down Australia, just does not give me what I think is important. And people, friendship, support, conversation, belonging is important! Especially in the face of terroism and technology.

I just read all your posts, I had not read them all so I extend my sympathy to you. I lost my father in law at 65. I still agree with what I said above. Just go where you want to be and can find peace. All the best to you. x

Hi Hoola, nice to meet you. I find it quite simple. Go home. Countries and travel are opportunities and can be turned into excitement and positive. In addition to that is people. I love countries, but I love people more. Friends and family v important. I am sure you can go home and get what you need from that country equal to here. Bonus is, you are with your people and family. Overthinking can get complicated. Get excited,and go home. People always matter first, and bonus is your returning to a pretty damn good country. Again, just my opinion. If you disagree, that is all good. x :wubclub: