kiwiathome

sorry grey sky bit slow on uptake tonight! You ask do I offer same advice someone leaving UK for Australia leaving children? In truth, can not answer that. I am in awe of families who have long lasting happy relationships with their adult children. Unfortunately not the case in my family. I think it depends on circumstances. Must be wonderful for adults with elder children who stick together. But that is not always the case. Sometimes children who are elder teenagers are better to get away and have a fresh start and try. And sometimes adults need to release their elder teenage children. So I have sympathy either way. Well you have ended up in Surrey. So that is pretty damn good. And you have made choices. I just think the poster sounds a bit in denial, and I think there is probably a lot of hurt there. There is reason to be upset, post here, and seek help. Not everyone can spill their guts, fair enough, just hope people can come here and leave felling better.

Well I beat you Jacaranda. Left home at 17, not my choice. Went travelling alone at 20! And yes kids mean everything. And how do you know she has given this a lot of thought? You have started over again. So have a few of us. When I read this it really got my sentiments. But poster is holding back. We would like to help you. But you are being a little clinical about your true feelings or the true circumstances. Please be honest and seek help. A lot of people here have been through a lot and we want to make you feel better, and give some meaningful advice. Hope you can give out a little more info, and hope we can help you more. x

Bless you above for replying so quickly. I sooo value what you two above say. Yes I am very unhappy in Queensland. And I absolutely do appreciate the issue here. My first thought was when I read this post was "oh how hard, because she has a marriage break up to deal with, plus two children. I felt my heart tug. God that must be hard. I am focussing on moving back to England with a marriage intact and it is still hard.! I do hate Australia, been in many countries for those who don't know me, yes hate Australia, but staying here, do very much appreciate the issue. Yes I do offer the same advice. Leave. You can not heal or progress or become a better person until you leave and have a fresh start. And then do everything possible to encourage your children to if not move to, but at least visit. But the ages they are, you need to re gain your life.

So what are your childhood experiences like! Good on her for seeking advice to make a new life. And at the ages of her children, and a marriage breakup, that is exactly what she should do! Have sympathy rather than judgement! Shelly, well you know I have such a soft spot for you, but this woman has to put herself first! If the kids are not stupid and know right from wrong, mum will not be in the wrong and one day they might return to support her.

I am re boosting this thread after reading "moving back to UK after 10 years". Poor women. I feel for her. I am sooooo stuggling here at times, that in one way, her marriage is over, go for it girl put yourself first and move where you want. And I hope that eventually your young children will move to where you are. My marriage is not over, and I have two children to consider, and a career husband. But I hate living in Australia sooo much. I am a rational sane person, but just can not get my head around this country or lifestyle. I cried today watching river cottage xmas special! I am just not a queenslander. Done 8 years, got two to go. Because I am not finished with hubby and my youngest is only ten, you just have to keep solidering on.!

Go home. You deserve it. Your children are older, and I am so sorry to hear your marriage has broken up. I find it hard to stay even with a good marriage (but not perfect). Look at it as a new chance on life. And you never know, your children might very easily decide to move back to UK as well. But as you know, the ages they are, you can not force it. But it is a real possibility. Please do what is best for you. Go where you are happy and where you can relax. Put yourself first. If they need, the kids will follow. xX

Pleased for you Howard. I just have to say Gold Coast has got tiresome and not worth the money. Glad you happy, and next time we'll come and stay with you not an overpriced crappy apartment? I do find your posts interesting. (even though you do live on the gold coast!) Hope you best evening ever. God bless the queen. At least a sleep in on Monday.!

Then I think your neck is a lifesaver, if not in too much pain. Seriously, we attempted to go down to gold coast in last month after a long time, 4 hours to get down there, **** accommodation for price paid.! Sorry, but I take on kids wrath now, rather than attempt to do Gold Coast. Horrible Place. But I know you like it here, again nothing personal.! But we will probably never go Gold Coast Again.! Don't want to get stabbed!

I think I disagreed with you on another thread, but will soooo agree with this! We have bought and sold many times in Aus. We do do up houses! But never to the expense of safety or dishonesty. I feel like putting the gold coast and sunshine coast into the same sentence with safety and dishonesty! I just don't get building on flood plains. And out of principal hubby and I have become monsters, because we have denied our children the cheap theme park gold tickets anymore! It is just sooooo expensive for the tackiness you get. I have given up ever trying to find good accommodation in the gold coast anymore for a reasonable price. What you get offered is "Oh my good, keep your shoes on, don't touch and I bring my own pillow cases and cleaning spray! The first house we ever did up was a cute two bedroom cottage in Harpendon, Hertfordshire. I don't know if it has changed, but I just don't remember the same dishonesty or bull.....T going on in England that now goes on in Australia! (experience only to NSW and Gold coast and Queensland). E

Then god bless your daughter Ali and you jockintas for further education. I am also studying to get back into the workforce at the old age of 44! I was desperate to go to teachers college or uni, but due to family circumstances when young not possible. But I am studying now, am grateful to still be with my man after 23 years, raising two wonderful daughters who are going onto higher education, and now trying to get into the career I always wanted. I put it on hold for hubby's career, and to raise my children. No regrets. Now my time, but only if they are all sorted. I am excited about the future. And in this day and age isn't is wonderful when your in your 40's or older, you can still study, and still have years to do what you want. And also, I feel it is harder for our young ones, but I think schools actually offer more support and guidance than they used to. Every school says (I think) you should only leave when have a university entrance sorted or apprentice. Their are guidance counsellors, caree counsellors, career expos, meetings etc. So I think even though life has got tougher, we are more educated, more researched and hopefully can offer more help and support to the teenagers.

Well I am going to disagree with the above. I am really so not the person to live in Australia and constantly daydream in my head about what I could have, or what I have known. I don't think it is as simple as label "homesick" and all you see is negative. I have not liked living in Australia for 8 years. Can not wait to move. But quite calmly and logically have two years to go, and am perfectly happy with my day to day life. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I see the positive every day. Personality has to come into it. It does not mean I don't look ahead to when we move back to England. I can cope and use my time here wisely for me and my family. But if you can't, and it is all consuming and the homesickness gets out of control, then I am sure that must be really awful and you need genuine support and understanding.

I have heard Edinburgh is great, beautiful place. Just wondering how hard it is to get a job in England now for the school leavers who choose not to go to uni? Obviously to get into a trade would be very helpful. I think years back you could get away more with not going to uni. It seems to be a tougher more competitive world to me for the younger generation and going to uni or starting a trade qual is essential. Obviously with the digital era certain jobs are becoming more important and so many are now becoming dormant. I think the employment market in Australia is tough anyhow, even as a graduate. I will be doing everything poss to ensure my children further their study, work hard and give themselves a chance in the job market.

Interesting comments. Again to clarify it was only my daughter who threw up Oxford and Cambridge probably purely based on the fact that growing up in Ausi/NZ these are the two unis you hear about. On this side of the world I guess they are sold as the best and elite. As we research more into it and get some info from her school, I am sure when we visit next year these unis prob won't even factor in. By no means have I have mentioned these unis to gain points in the "superior" factor. I do not judge someone on what uni they went to, or if they went to uni at all. So much more to a person than that. The most I know about them is from my English detective shows. From what I can see/read the following look good for her area; web designer/developer, multimedia designer, software developer/ film television and audio etc (something like this she wants to do), is University of York, Bath, Bristol, Kent and Manchester. At the end of the day, I think getting the chance to go to any university is damn good. Some people want to go and get hold back. Oh and by the way Chortlepuss Australia can also be governed by posh twits who haven't got a clue.:laugh:

Its hard isn't it? Because compared to Tony Abbott I think Dave Cam looks damn good!! The only member I have ever connected to in my time here, is Anna Bligh. that's because I went through the floods with her. And she cried, she got human, and she got tired. Then she got cancer. But she also got a hard time from lots of people. Go figure! Tasmania is the only place I want to visit before I leave. I wish you all the best there and I think you have chosen the best place to go out of all of Australia.

I agree with Lady Raincorn. I have lovely memories of Glasgow. Way more than Australia. I remember coming home from my office temp job at 4.30 pm, and yes it was dark and cold, but it was magical. Then home to hot shower. Then games in front of fire with nice food. Cosy and social.' Then you don't have that cold dark weather lasting all year round either. On the weekends in winter we would go bush walking or to museums, art galleries, theatre etc. Just go with seasons and indulge. There is good. x

Well we both agree on something. Australia is too damn expensive for what offers. You sound wise and sorted. So good to hear you happy back in UK. I don't think there is any ideal place to live, but we are ostriches if we put head in sand and don't seek out to move to best we can get. I am just tired and confused. Nice to hear positive outcomes. Cheers, have nice evening.

Cheers bristolman, one thing I have learnt, take advice when it is warranted. You are in UK currently??? I prob don't have enough brains or parliament know in's and outs' to really speak up, but god it has been hard to live in Australia for the last 8 years as a "non citizen". My hubby and I do agree on, I became a citizen of England relatively easily, and they gave us more support than Australia ever has done. Going off track again, but, Australia gives us nothing, but takes out of hubby's pay packet every time another natural disaster. There is so many of them. Again, each to their own. I can get while some people love it here. And fair enough. It is not for me to judge. But for me, hardest country to live in, work hard, no reward, I have ever lived in. Oh and too add, I have been through though natural disaster with my kids. Floods in Ipswich, caught up in my car, Cyclone came down to Sunshine Coast, had 5 tornados whipping around me and my girls. (hubby away). We gave substantially out of pay pocket towards recovery, but if those tornados had of hit our house, (5 mins away) we get nothing. I am sorry, but I just don't agree with or understand or like Australia. Not being difficult; have lived England, Florence, Dublin, Glasgow, obviously NZ, St Andrews Scotland, French Alps. Not mouthing off, just logical comparison. Australia hard.

Really Bristolmen and where is your experience from living in Australia. No there is not much as elitism as in Australia as in England, I am not sure in Australia they would even no what that means. Cheers caramac with regard to qualifications; yes what you describe is close. I prob don't really understand. Digital, media, computer software, engineering etc. ?? I have no idea what Bullingdon boys is?? but why are you bound for Tasmania??? I would love to visit Tasmania, looks more like England or NZ to me, but I see a lot on this forum no jobs and not easy. ??

Appreciate that. Unfortunately not the same. But I am so pleased for your son. And so good on you for being their for him. It is just hard because if we choose to have children, then we should always strive to do the best for them. For the first time in our family we are becoming divided. We are now considering that youngest and I go back to England end of next year, where she will start English high school on par with others. But eldest insists on finishinyear 12 in Australia. Even though she hassles me for "part time job" and "correspondence". Hubby just always best for career. He oblivious, but we love him anyway. In logical theory, we go back end next year cause affects youngest daughter more than any of us. ?? It is hard being mom, and trying to please everyone huh!

Cheers Ali again. I agree. I invite battles if constructive, and justified. In NZ same. After school or weekend part time jobs. Fantastic your son referee for sport (healthy mind healthy body at 15) but as you say weekend. I am quite confused. Good private school in Queensland, that we pay good money for, and we are there about the learning, and they happily let kids attend 4 days a week to attend a part time job?? Maybe I am so behind the times. But we are not happy about this. Do others let their kid go four days a week to a private school and work one day a week???? Does this happen at paid private schools in England??

Geordie girl I have been reading your posts. From what you post sounds very much like you want to move home. Move home. Do you really think Australia justifies not moving back? My girls are even at a worst age. Year 5 this year and year 10. We seem to have constant dilemma on when to move back. Do you know what I think I am learning/realising?? No right time. Just trust your instincts and make the best decision. We are even now considering that I go back end of next year and get youngest started in high school, and as eldest and hubby don't want to move until 2017, they will meet us when ready. May sound odd, but I guess I get what I want. And what ideal situation do we really have in the world? Just I know Australia is not where we want to be, and we've been here for 8 years. I am running out, and it is not doing us any good. Go for what you want, the children will be OK.

Then I am pleased for you Booma. And from memory you are a teacher?? I have so much respect for teachers. My dad was a school principal, unfortunately he could not handle it. Went down the beer bottle!

Oops spelling error. Meant to say, Universities (in my opinion before jumped on - each to their own) are better in England. And the funny thing about this is, we are not even considering Cambridge or Oxford. More like Manchester for what she wants to do. At the end of the day, whether you go to Uni or not, it's your determination and belief that will eventually get you there. I want my children to go to university, and I will do anything to get them there. It is important to me, because I wanted to go to university but we did not have the money. Parents messy divorce. I went to Polytech instead and worked two part time jobs. Not complaining, just if my girls want to go to uni, I want them to go to uni, they'll go to uni! And to continue I did not go to uni. But I have continued to study constantly as a more "mature" person, and am actually really happy with where I have got. I am going to go back to England and get my dream job in health. So it is a grey area, not black and white. Not right or wrong.

Maybe Booma. Maybe they are not judged for where they went to school. But Australia judges from what country you are from.

Nice post grizzly, where are you now? You sound young, your dreams are still available. And yes I agree with you. (just my opinion). Universities are better than England. And yes it is proven in the statistics and tables etc. I am currently dealing with my daughter only 14, (15 in August) hassling me to get a part time job and miss one day a week at school, like some of her friends do! Are you crazy!! And she goes to a private school that we pay ^%$! money for! Now in my day, we never missed college for part time day jobs! But in Australia, this seems to be acceptable! And yes, as I have said, she is super bright! And has never strayed off track! Do year 10's at private schools in England miss a day of school for some part time job??? Have times changed that much that this is now what a lot of year 10's and 11's want to do? Well here is my answer. No! She is not getting a part time job. She is staying at school 5 days a week! And at 14 she will still do as she is told. Bound4Tassie I sense a bit of agro going on. Do you honestly think Australia will be fairer or better? And no I am not discouraging you or saying you are doing the wrong thing. Just a friendly enquiry.