kiwiathome

Hi, Kiwiathome (previously known kiwiinoz, I think). I have been away from this forum for a long time. I knew one day I would reply back, as I had a comment posted at me, that I looked back at later, kiwiinoz used to post here unhappily. I don't remember who posted it, but soo true. This is a nice thread to return to as it is positive stories returning to the UK or any country. I am happily settled back in NZ for nearly 3 years. It is home for me. It is amazing when you return home, how peaceful and confident you feel. I don't want to say too much, just wanted to express that home really does matter. And you know when you are home. Life has moved on for me amazingly, but I do not think that this post it about that. When I left Australia after 8 years, came home, set my feet down with my family, I just had such a sense of peace, happiness and confidence. So to the comment I remember, yes I at times did post unhappily, there was a lot going on that wasn't good. However, now I am very happy. Good luck to you all and home is where the heart is. xx

Hi Perthbum, nice to speak to you again. Yes I understand. I was desperate to move back to UK where I had soo many happy memories. But countries have changed. I think now more open mind, and find the country we can best live in, do good, go forth and have a nice life. I wanted to move back to the UK, but now, not so sure. It has become a difficult world in some ways. I think safety, support, peace, has become very important. I will probably not take my family out of NZ now. Quite a u turn. All the best.

Hi Ozzie. I hope you receive this reply. It has been a long time since I have posted and I hope they do not move me. Yes, I am amazingly settled. Because I came home. You know deep down where home is. Your OH, with help, guidance and support, communication, deep down knows where home is. Once home you need a rest, recover, then clarify. Then you gain confidence and the world is your oyster. I don't think it is anywhere. Deep down we know where home is. Then we find strength, have a rest, recover, get excited, and go for it. All the best. xxx

I was a senior member, not understanding why you are moving me. Can you not please, at this stage, as I would like to share my story and encourage and help. Thank you.

Hi to all, I was Kiwi in Aus for some time. Determined to move back to UK, now happy in NZ. Home. I have not posted on here for a long time. Now I am. Two things I wish to clear up. When in Australia, which I hated, I did my best. But was not my true me. I turned to this forum because I was unhappy, had no or limited friends, and did not know who I was. Tension with my husband, he was always away with his career. Eventually I said enough, after 8 years, I am worth something, I deserve a career, I can not stand this country, not home. Long story short, we moved. We put family first and found ways to move forward. Husband left Virgin Australia (airline pilot) and has moved to China Easteran. Means we can move back to NZ. He is happier. Kids are happier. Brilliant schools, back with family. Since we have been home, HOME, the important word, all has fallen into place. Our kids are going guns. My husband has been head hunted by a university in aviation, with less stress overall. I have started a new job, in health administration, PA, and health assistant. None of this would of happened if we had not have moved. I appreciate this thread, because I posted here in my lonely times in a country I could not stand. Lasted 8 years. I am now back. Maybe briefly I do not know. But now back to say, you need to go where you are comfortable and strong to change things. When you are strong, contented, supported anything is possible. Time is not the answer. Things do not get better with time. It can get worst. Trust your instinct, and go for it. I can not believe how much our life has turned around in 12 months. The ripple effect. Change one thing, be positive, have hope, and anything wonderful can happen. From a very happy and contented Kiwi at home. xxxxxx Bless you all.

Hi to all. Have not been on this thread for a long time. Been busy. Moved country to home. You can not heal if you do not listen deep down and move home. You have an instinct, listen to it. We left Australia after 8 years, hated it. It was wrong. Amazing how everything falls into place once you move home, or where you think home is. I was unhappy in Australia for 8 years, had only one friend, logged onto this because only friend because I was always doing wrong or out of loneliness. I appreciated all the comments, my first time back. I have moved soooo forward. I here to heal. You need to go home, make peace with family, and heal. Home is where you feel comfortable and relaxed, Feel inspired to help others. We left Australia after 8 years. It never got better. I got better after moving home. My marriage got better. I am starting work, but conclusion is, we have come home. f Find home, find support, release hurt, get strong and move forward. Forgive when needed. :wubclub:

Hi, back. Iamlmj, and others. I have been back since start of Jan with my girls, hubby come and go. Yes NZ has been far more home than Ausi, but, I feel I have still learnt. Home is where your family or children are. You can always strive to do better, but it is hard to please all. Family certainly comes first, but within that, it still comes down to the individual. I am more at ease here, than Ausi, but reality is, any country has obstacles. Ultimately we still have a long term goal, but you have to live in the present to some extent and make it work. I do believe you have an instinct in what country is right or wrong. And I think sticking toghether as a family matters more than the country.

Absolutely go home if that is what you want. I don't think you would come on here and post if this was not what you want. Australia is not an easy country to live in. Please put your instinct and logical first and go for it. Go home, UK is sooooo georgus. And yes I have been here for 8 long years, has never got better, and maybe I take the crown for this forums "most emotional poster". :cute:

Thank you Margie, nice comment. I think as a "mostly single parent" I probably worry too much. Your comments make me feel better. Yes media and technology turn mums like me into a worrying wreck. But it is the age, it is all in your face and reported more. I just know, any harm too my girls !!! I am sure many feel that way. But we have to balance giving them the skills to cope in a modern world, and can not clip their wings. I have found it hard in the past with dad away, living in Australia, but our friends and family are in NZ or England, but as many of you know, our plans are changing. Very good for me, but mostly good for my in laws, my mum and dad, and my children. We went too the beach today, and just had simple fun. If all the good keep striving, helping each other and seek support, put your kids as "priority" I am sure the world still holds much beauty. The positive does outrule the bad as above says. I do sympathise for any mostly "single" parents out there, because raising a child or children is huge. It is also an honour and a gift, and a commitment. And speakeasy as above, absolutely, don't let your spirit be broken. Even if you came from a tough childhood, you have kids, invest in the next generation, and lets all make kids a priority, and if you need help in this area then ask. Oh, and this is suppose to be related to England, love England, eventually get back there. Watch Escape to the Country and you can still comment. :wubclub: I do not like technology a lot, but appreciate this forum or any "modern" device does allow support.

Thanks. :wink: Guess I have two more years. Cheers.

Are you sure Marisa? I hope so. that is nice to hear. As my eldest daughter plans to go back to England in two years time. I love England, but for the first time I feel doubtful and worried for my kids. Yes media can be too much, but I am now doubting letting her go back to her home country. I don't know, was parenting easier in the past? Is terroissm our new battle? NZ seems very safe and far away at this stage. But a best parent supports, encourages, never clips wings, and I guesss hopes. I still feel very young, but hate the thought at soon I have to let my eldest daughter go home. :rolleyes:

Sarah how are you??? Please come on and talk if you need help.:wubclub:

Thank you Marisa, yes I am fine. It actually makes me feel good to come on here and hopefully help someone. I am so looking forward to going back to work part time in a hospital in NZ, part time. Still supporting my airline hubby, and my kids getting older. I think the world has got tougher, with technology and terroisim, and as a mum, main care giver, it does scare me at times. Just wondering what any others think. x Kiwi.:yes:

Thank you Marisa and Quoll. I appreciate the above. I have been struggling here, my hubby goes away, my youngest (10) plays up and hassells me all the time, and I have to admit, only 3 to 4 nights a week I drink wine. Then I come on here, and I get sad and angry. I know wine is not the answer, but I understand how some slip into the habit. I am from a health conscious, nutrition background, so, I will never fully succumb. But I am lonely, and I fight against it. I know I will be OK, because of my health/nutrition background and knowledge, and my dad was deemed as an alcoholic, kind of sad for me, because he was a national tennis player for NZ, went to Wanganui Collegiate, (one of the best post schools in NZ) and was good looking, bright and charming. But my mum and him, not happy,and she kept him from us. Know matter what a person does, we are all still people. Please stand by and help. I am guess I am saying this now because I am going home to NZ. I am careful with alcohol, please all do so, never have touched drugs or smokes in my life. I am not quite sure why I am going here, just please if this forum is your only help and outlet ask for help. We are all human, and lets ask for help or support. If you please need help or someone to talk too, come on and seek. Oh, and I have only ever touched alcholol in the last 3 years. After our friend took quarter a million dollars from us. But, people, health matter more. I am sorry If I am blabbing to some. But Quoll kindly made me feel important. I don't get that a lot. But yes I am important. And so are many who want to post on here. Please come on, and ask these many kind souls for help, or just simply share your story. Marisa, Sorry for the previous night. My hubby had been in USA for 5 days, 10 year old playing up, guess my patience had run out. There is always a human side. I never intended to appear rude. Sorry. You moderators give up your time, and allow others to seek advice. So thank you.

I am sorry Marissa, I still don't understand when I was rude or aggresive. I guess I don't belong on a forum.

Cheers NickyNook, you brought a smile to my face. Marissa, I am sorry if I caused any upset. I never mean no harm, but I am all out to bring support to the underdog. Maybe (very probably) I am tactless in this undertaking. I never ever mean to bring hurt to anyone. This is the only forum I belong to, and the only people I speak to. And yes, I know I am a blabbermouth. I am going now to read Christmas stories to my 10 year old, her dad is in USA. So forget my "wrong doings" can we all go off to spend extra time and love towards our kids. Maybe a better place. Thanks Nicky, you made me feel better. :wink:

Oh Sarah, I don't think it is about disputing the country by the time you come on here and state true feelings. I have never joined a forum in my life before this, still am actually not that interested in computers/technology. I think we all agree by now, there are those here who "get Australia" and are happy. So that is great and we are all pleased for them. For some of us, this has not been the case. It may all seem lost, but it is not. There are ways, and plans. And coming on this thread I think you get a lot of support from many individuals with different ideas, or different opinions, but I think there is always support. You are not hanging on by a thread. Everything can be worked out. Many will come out to support you, and maybe others. I felt similar to you a while ago, been here nearly 8 years. Lots of hurdles, many times felt alone and exhausted. There is a solution and a happy ending in sight. I am on my way back to NZ, then eventually England. I am finally getting the best for me and my daughters, and my hubby is also getting on board and seeing a bigger picture. For the first time in a long time, I don't put Australia down. And I get if it works for you, and you have all you need here and working, the rest of us should not put it down. For some it is the lucky place. For me to now be able to say that, I know I am moving on to a better future, and strong in my own right. Did not work for me, but I get why it works for others. Please talk to others around you, or if not possible, come back on and seek help. x :wubclub:

Cheers Tink. I appreciate anything at the moment. My hubby is in USA, I have a kidney infection, but I am going off to read stories to my girls. A nice time. Safe in the knowledge that soon I am moving back to NZ. And I can care for my 3 elderly "parents" and they can care for me. Family matters more than anything. While "again" the doctors said you need to go to hospital for IV antibiotics, I said no. I have no one to care for my children If I am gone. If I go home, that horrible feeling of "who do I have to care for my children" leaves me. What a blessing to know I can call on family. And I have been through many situations over 8 years. Just saying, what matters to me most is family and support. Not the country I live in. A bonus if you get family and support in the country you live in. Just think you first have to be happy in yourself as a parent/adult, and then you do need to logically think. Who can step in if you get sick to care for your kids???? Well I don't have any options for that question. And my kids come first.

I hope this thread helps someone, that is a nice outcome. I am a person who usually sees the glass half full, not empty. And I have held back on this forum. Not all the time, caused a few upsets and got into a few tiffs, and to be fair, I may have been emotional at times and in a bad place with not much room to move, so I lashed out. Probably at a forum. Have never been on a forum before. I guess I joined this forum because I never found anyone to talk to in Australia. Now to re state, those of you who have move here and love it, can it be just for one time to support those of us who don't love it here. Have found it hard. We are not taking you down because you love Australia. We are all human beings on this earth, there is enough worry, hate and terroism. I have lived in many countries. This is the only one, after 8 years, I cannot stand. I am not making excuses anymore for that. It is what it is. I have stood my ground, got more mature, and after 8 years we are leaving. Plan with hubby. I don't think the country we live in defines us, I think how we feel, act on a day to day basis, what friendships, family or support, or happiness, or what we can do for a community, that defines us. No one should feel guilty or dis heartened to leave a country and try again. That is not failure, that is strong.

And my above comments are not based on superiority or judgement, more experience. Life is too short. I am all for supporting others and being honest. Australia is a tricky country. A lot of us don't get it. For those of you that do, help the ones that want to stay. I can't do that, because I have made the decision to leave after 8 years. But it is not about the country, its about supporting people. If you get Australia and want to stay, then support them. If they want to leave, don't put guilt on them. Why waste constant years in a country that is hard to live in, not overly social, and you don't get. Life, family, happiness, people matter way more. x

Starlight, I find your comment really sad. We should not expect or settle for difficult friendships. I think our expectations should be above this, and either you need to move country or change friends. Scottie, don't self doubt yourself. You already know deep down what you think, and what you want to do. Just staying a long time in the wrong country is not going to make things better, or change anything. Trust yourself, and go where your heart is. All the best. Kiwi.

I think this is a very important topic to keep going. It is great to have the discussion. I have really struggled in this country. I have not struggled in another country. This is my first point. After 8 years I am laying the law down. Life is short, let's hope not, but can be. I do not want to stay in a country that has not been right for me; just not made me the best person I can be. And I want to be the best person I can be. So my family are leaving, and we are compromising with my hubby, who I never want to be without, but I have to respect and understand he is not attached to me, and is passionate about his career. Be the best person you can be first as an individual, then support others. I absolutely think it is wonderful some ex pats come here, make a great life and think it is better. I am very happy for you, because we should all seek for what makes up happy. But not be down on those who "get" Australia. If we all keep searching for what makes us happy, have the guts to seek change, and support others, maybe the world would be a happier place. Maybe less horrible news. Anyone who wants to post on this thread with confusion, or doubt or upset, needs to be supported no matter what country. And I hope with that support, we all find the strength to find what we are seeking for, and all make this world a happy place. I know I want that for my children, the future generation.

I am signing off soon, good book to read. Maeve Binchy. I think she wonderful. even though she now RIP, her books keep coming out. And they are nice. I looked back over this thread. And there were responses from many, who have not since replied. I just wonder how are you all going? Please come back on and seek support or just talk. x

Oh and I meant to say Jock, that I always wanted to go to Tasmania. It looked beautiful to me, and I think I would have "got it". It may be similar to NZ and England, which I love. Now this is not putting down Australia, far from it. I know I use to come on here and moan and put down Australia as a whole. Some of you were patient with me, some of you got cross at me. I think once you come to a peaceful decision, and get a decision made, you get clarity. I use to put down Australia in general. Now I know there are places here I would think are pretty good, like Tasmania and Melbourne. Just never got there. But if I have ever come across as negative to others who like it in Australia, I apologise. I just feel more clear now I know I am going home. So,"some parts in Australia" I very do not like. But all the best of luck to others on here, who are doing good and feeling peace and "home" with their choice. And Jock, I would one day like to come back and check out Tasmania. I think it looks amazing and beautiful. What a wonderful choice you have made. :wubclub:

Cheers JockinTas, I appreciate that. I absolutely get what you are saying. How wonderful to take your dog for a walk by the river, and I am glad you stayed safe. Isn't it sad now, in this day and age, we question safety over "nature, beauty and communication"? We, as you all know are in the process of going home to NZ. We have got our house on the market. And I got upset today, because my 5 bedroom, huge, tiring house that I do not want, is looking perfect! Flowers, perfect towels, amazing décor etc. Yet my real estate agent communicates to me via text or e mail. And I don't get that. And I get upset. And my "logical hubby" says, this is how it is this day in age. Now I don't mean to mean negative in, I am only about positive for ever more. I will not get beaten down by living here for 8 years. Am I expecting too much for verbal communication in this day and age???? When I got out to dinner (not often) or to a café for lunch, conversation means more to me than food. Just interested in others opinion. I personally always enjoy company, conversation, a little wine sure, helps, but not priority over company and conversation. I feel yes we need to embrace the modern world, sure, but can we still fight to find a place for people????? I make my kids come to the family room every night at 5pm, no matter what we have on, no matter who is there. No screens. Family time. We play cards, family games and we talk. And I keep saying, you must always find time for family. Let's all make an effort around family members and share stories. Nice. xxxx Kiwi. I am sure a lot don't get me, and I understand technology has a place, I just think talking, family, basic family values, down time, exercise, fresh air, pets, all have a place.