Don't ever self doubt, you post here for a reason, you want to leave australia, go for it!

[kiwiathome]

Thank you Margie, nice comment. I think as a "mostly single parent" I probably worry too much. Your comments make me feel better. Yes media and technology turn mums like me into a worrying wreck. But it is the

age, it is all in your face and reported more.

 

I just know, any harm too my girls !!! I am sure many feel that way.

 

But we have to balance giving them the skills to cope in a modern world, and can not clip their wings.

 

I have found it hard in the past with dad away, living in Australia, but our friends and family are in NZ or England, but as many of you know, our plans are changing.

 

Very good for me, but mostly good for my in laws, my mum and dad, and my children.

 

We went too the beach today, and just had simple fun. If all the good keep striving, helping each other and seek support, put your kids as "priority" I am sure the

world still holds much beauty.

 

The positive does outrule the bad as above says. I do sympathise for any mostly "single" parents out there, because raising a child or children is huge. It is also

an honour and a gift, and a commitment.

 

And speakeasy as above, absolutely, don't let your spirit be broken. Even if you came from a tough childhood, you have kids, invest in the next generation, and lets

all make kids a priority, and if you need help in this area then ask. Oh, and this is suppose to be related to England, love England, eventually get back there.

 

Watch Escape to the Country and you can still comment. :wubclub:

I do not like technology a lot, but appreciate this forum or any "modern" device does allow support.

[Dreamy Fish]

Hi Kiwi

 

Can I ask, are you in Mango Hill now? You mentioned buying an a lot there.

 

DF x

[iamlmj]

Wow I love this post, thank you.

Ive lived in Australia for 10 years now, and although Ive been happy, I miss friends and family. My husband is Australian but his family are very spread out (the closest grandparent for my girls is 4+hrs drive away), Ive not made any close friends here, and there's always that feeling that something is missing.

Our plan is to move back to the UK next year, but occasionally I lose focus and wonder whether we are doing the right thing, but your email has inspired me and makes me realise its the right thing to do. Its good to hear everybody's experiences, we are all different and have different circumstances, people back home will think I'm crazy for returning, but I need more than a sunny lifestyle, its about family and friendships. We'll give it a go anyway, if it doesnt work out then I guess we'll be back. Thanks for sharing.

[Quoll]

Wow I love this post, thank you.

Ive lived in Australia for 10 years now, and although Ive been happy, I miss friends and family. My husband is Australian but his family are very spread out (the closest grandparent for my girls is 4+hrs drive away), Ive not made any close friends here, and there's always that feeling that something is missing.

Our plan is to move back to the UK next year, but occasionally I lose focus and wonder whether we are doing the right thing, but your email has inspired me and makes me realise its the right thing to do. Its good to hear everybody's experiences, we are all different and have different circumstances, people back home will think I'm crazy for returning, but I need more than a sunny lifestyle, its about family and friendships. We'll give it a go anyway, if it doesnt work out then I guess we'll be back. Thanks for sharing.

 

Good luck! Have you got a visa sorted for your DH? That's a significant stumbling block for many in mixed marriages who want to return!

[Marisawright]

I was going to ask the same thing as Quoll. If you need to get a spouse visa for your oh, then you'll either need a job arranged in the UK before you go (earning at least £18,200), or you'll need to show proof of savings (currently £62,500). You need to have that money in a bank account for at least 12 months so you should start looking into that now - unless you're relying on the sale of your house to provide the money.

 

If you are going to rely on the proceeds of selling your house, then you'll need to sell your house before he submits his application and move into rented accommodation for the two or three months it takes to process.

[iamlmj]

Thanks Quoll and Marisawright, I have already looked into it, fortunately he is eligible for an ancestral visa as his grandmother was born in the UK, my girls have British passports so we should be ok (fingers crossed).

[kiwiathome]

Hi, back. Iamlmj, and others. I have been back since start of Jan with my girls, hubby come and go. Yes NZ has been far more home than Ausi, but, I feel I have still learnt. Home is where your family or children are. You can always strive to do better, but it is hard to please all. Family certainly comes first, but within that, it still comes down to the individual. I am more at ease here, than Ausi, but reality is, any country has obstacles. Ultimately we still have a long term goal, but you have to live in the present to some extent and make it work. I do believe you have an instinct in what country is right or wrong. And I think sticking toghether as a family matters more than the country.

[Marisawright]

Hi, back. Iamlmj, and others. I have been back since start of Jan with my girls, hubby come and go. Yes NZ has been far more home than Ausi, but, I feel I have still learnt. ... I am more at ease here, than Ausi, but reality is, any country has obstacles.

 

So are you saying that NZ is not as good as you hoped it would be?

[Johnny]

I have had a long break from this forum. Ready to come back now because I feel more confident and more honest. Cut long story short, kiwi, much travelled, married to airline pilot, numerous "circumstance disasters", but nutshell I can't stand Australia. Now I know a few of you (if not many) will go, Oh Oh Australia, how can you say that etc.!!! I can say it very easily, I hate Australia..! Hence, I am finally moving my family. In a complicated way, but our family comes first over fighting over what country we live in.

 

Until you gain clarity and confidence, it can seem blurred. I have lived here for 8 years, and hate it every year that goes on. But, I needed to empower myself and feel what I had to say was wothwile after loosing myself here.

 

In our time here I have gone through the Ipswich floods, a burglary, a cyclone, loosing quarter a million dollars in an investment, my sister. My mum has been through cancer twice. All the while in a place I could not stand to live in. And before you judge, I have lived in many countries. I just don't like it here.

 

If you do like it here, good for you.

 

We have now reached a compromise, buying a two bedroom apartment here, that my hubby will commute back in forth, while I go back to NZ with my daughters, and well all go back and forth and best we can be. I want to spend time with my 3 aging grandparents in NZ, and in 6 years time when youngest has finished high school, and likely all our 3 older granparents are up in the happy place, we'll go back to England. We love England. Our eldest daughter was born there and it was the happiest place we ever lived.

 

So, what I am saying is. Listen first to your gut instinct. If you really hate living in a place, no matter how many years go by, you are likely never to feel happy there.

 

Next, you do have to look around you and consider others. Come up with a compromise. Families can do certain arraingements, and work towards a common goal. May be healthier than never moving on or giving up.

 

Have a plan, no matter how long.

 

We are leaving for NZ soon, then in 6 years back to England. Seems long maybe in writing, but to us if finally close, suits all, and is clarity and happiness all round.

 

I studied while unhappy here in Aus, and I have now completed my course. Try and find something positive while waiting. And put your plan in place. And great to all who like it here. I am not one of you, but we do not take each other down. All human, all need support. :wink:

'

 

Its "okay" to say you hate a place, no one should take offence or snap back at what you say, it's just your personal experience and everybody has a different one. Its the "right thing" to be honest to yourself and go for what you "really" want.

 

I can imagine that there will be many who just "wont face up" to the reality of what they have done to themselves and will "soldier on" regardless whether its because they don't want to lose face with the family & friends back home who they think will laugh at or ridicule them for "quitting" if you want to call it that, or they don't want to give up their new perceived status of owning the big house by the beach etc etc... or whatever.

 

Many of you will get the "I told you so..." stuff from friends no matter what, when they finally get home, we certainly did, (my mates didn't mince their words either) but it didn't bother us in the least.

 

Coming home was what "we" wanted and that's all that mattered, we couldn't care about what others thought of us and the reality was although they may have enjoyed trying to rub our noses in it, they were all glad to have us back anyway.

 

There's nothing smart or brave about "hacking it" while deep down inside you "know" it's all wrong and you can see your wife/kids lives turned upside down facing stupid pointless challenges they really don't need to be facing or how its badly affected the people back home who really care about you.

 

If you hate it, you just go, and the sooner the better.