Guest Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Would it be possible to take your little girl with you so she gets to visit with your family even if your OH doesn't want to go? Yep, we'll do that. Not sure how interesting it would be for her watching her Dad get all misty eyed about aspects of life in a country she left when she was 2 though! I think Harpo and his family do it the right way, incorporating time in Europe into the holiday, thus giving the kids a richer experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Is it 3 yrs you've been back in the uk Quoll?!! Sure is! And when I landed back in Canberra it was all just exactly the same (one or two new buildings) but the rest was surreally familiar! I find it hard to believe it has been that long, the only things that had really changed were the grandkids, now 4 and 7 instead of 1 and 4! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Been here 11 years, and only go back most years because our grandchildren are there, wouldn't bother otherwise, totally happy in Oz. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 My first trip back after 18 months wasnt intended, but my dad died suddenly. because of that wake up call, even though the UK is the last place I wish to save to go to, and use up annual leave, I will go every two years while my darling mum is still alive. after Xmas I will get on with booking that flight, and for her sake I will put a smile on my face, wrap up warm, and love n treasure her. because that is what she deserves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindor Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 5 times in 22 months.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob1 Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I go back at least once a year as my Mum is 93 on on her last legs - in fact no legs as she is bedridden. Now have a car in the UK as it is cheaper than car hire and has worked out well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 (edited) I wonder if it's the chicken and egg thing . I notice that those that go back regularly are on the whole less happy here? Don't want to make sweeping statements but that's what seems to be the case. Do they go back more because they are not so happy or does going back more often make them less happy and 3rd question how the heck do you afford it. I reckon our last trip cost us close on $20,000 As someone who is happy here but visits the UK fairly regularly, I think that is an overly simplistic view. One could equally ask the question of people who have never been back (or rarely go back), are they over compensating? There must be things about the UK they miss, its almost as if to admit as such would be an admission of weakness or even worse 'failure', as in being a 'failed migrant'. I suppose that making these assumptions (either way) is a bit pointless because everyone has different priorities and motivations. Edited November 30, 2014 by Harpodom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith and Linda Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 I can probably beat some records here , because we have been back about 15 times in the 27 yrs we've been in Australia . In fact we only arrived back last week from a 5 week stay in the UK .. My parents are both 86 yrs old , and at my age I count myself so fortunate to have them both alive , and I'm going to visit them as much as I can , because one day perhaps in the not too distant I'm not going to have them , and you can't turn the clock back and wish I'd made more of an effort when it's too late ...Everyone is different , we all have differing priorities and financial limitations , but as long as we can afford to we will continue to visit the UK on a yearly basis , I'd hate it to be any other way ... Dave C We are very similar to you Dave, being here 15 years now and been back for holidays about 9 times, my parents are in their 80's now they used to come out every couple of years for three months or so but their age's/health are restricting them now, travel insurance is more than the fare too! Also since arriving in OZ, grand children have arrived in the UK, so we, especially the wife, has a strong pull to see them as well as number 1 son, and also her mother too. So like Dave the main reason is family but we do however incorporate other holidays with-in the UK visit, and we have bought around the world tickets maybe some 5 times now (often can be cheaper than direct flights at Xmas). So all in all it is a holiday rather than a need/desire to be back in the UK, we were there last Xmas and went off to Austria for a weeks skiing and sight seeing, we go again next May for #1 son wedding, and we will nip off to somewhere in Europe again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 5 times in 22 months.... That's the kind of regularity with which I'd love to visit. Is that because of family or business commitments Lindor, or are you just missing home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AltyMatt Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Twice in 10 years. First time about 1 year after arriving, second time for brother's wedding 5 years ago. As my parents get older I may visit more, but its a long trip that uses up annual leave so probably wouldn't bother otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 As someone who is happy here but visits the UK fairly regularly, I think that is an overly simplistic view. One could equally ask the question of people who have never been back (or rarely go back), are they over compensating? There must be things about the UK they miss, its almost as if to admit as such would be an admission of weakness or even worse 'failure', as in being a 'failed migrant'. I suppose that making these assumptions (either way) is a bit pointless because everyone has different priorities and motivations. I wasn't in anyway making assumptions I was questioning as a matter of interest. I certainly wasn't trying to cause offence and I certainly wasn't trying to cause any sort of argument quite frankly the bickering on here of late is totally p*ssing me off. Your comment that those that have never been back or rarely go back "must" miss something is also very narrow minded. As you so rightly say it's all personal. For me I have left nothing behind no, parents etc. I miss nothing at all. I'm not over compensating. But my OH does or did, so for him we went back. England does not fill me with a rosy glow. It makes me feel very sad because those I loved are dead. No longer there to visit. So no I'm not protesting too much. For the money we spent we could have had 4 really good holidays. I could have gone to Brisbane to visit my daughters and Grandaughter 20 times. I'm not trying to say anyone is a failed migrant whatever that is supposed to be. I absolutely understand wanting to visit loved ones, make the most of them whilst they are still alive. I don't miss England yet maybe I will one day but not yet. Anyway sorry to the OP for the overly long post. War & Peace eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinkla Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Not been back in 4.5 years. I have been back to Europe only once - on holiday to Turkey. We have kids and going to the UK would be very expensive for an experience that I would expect to be very ordinary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith and Linda Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Twice in 10 years. First time about 1 year after arriving, second time for brother's wedding 5 years ago.As my parents get older I may visit more, but its a long trip that uses up annual leave so probably wouldn't bother otherwise. Yep, using up annual leave is a real bug-bear for me, as we have to use up heaps at xmas shut-down, 7 days this year but has been and can be up to 9 days, almost half of annual allowance! a complete waste if your not going anywhere, so we tend to take all leave in one go and make more of a holiday out of it, even if it's just a stopover on the way. With all the different airlines mean various options available, and with kids in tow you could even go via the States and catch in Disney land. Our daughter and son in law are going via Hong Kong in May and going to Disney there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 I think you missed my point! I was simply stating the assumptions people might make regarding people who don't visit (to which you seem to have taken offence), just like your assumptions regarding people who do! As I said, its a personal thing, and trying to pigeon hole people (either way) is pointless. Sorry if I upset you, that wasn't my intention! I wasn't in anyway making assumptions I was questioning as a matter of interest. I certainly wasn't trying to cause offence and I certainly wasn't trying to cause any sort of argument quite frankly the bickering on here of late is totally p*ssing me off. Your comment that those that have never been back or rarely go back "must" miss something is also very narrow minded. As you so rightly say it's all personal. For me I have left nothing behind no, parents etc. I miss nothing at all. I'm not over compensating. But my OH does or did, so for him we went back. England does not fill me with a rosy glow. It makes me feel very sad because those I loved are dead. No longer there to visit. So no I'm not protesting too much. For the money we spent we could have had 4 really good holidays. I could have gone to Brisbane to visit my daughters and Grandaughter 20 times. I'm not trying to say anyone is a failed migrant whatever that is supposed to be. I absolutely understand wanting to visit loved ones, make the most of them whilst they are still alive. I don't miss England yet maybe I will one day but not yet. Anyway sorry to the OP for the overly long post. War & Peace eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parley Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Best to stick to the political threads Harpo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Best to stick to the political threads Harpo. I'll take that from one who knows their limits!:wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScotsQuine Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 (edited) We were very luckily to be entitled to free flights back to the UK annually through my OHs company, but even so we have only been back to visit family in Scotland once in the last 10 years! We gave the mil the option to use our free flights to fly over to visit us when we lived in Asia, we were told it's too far to travel, can't you just visit us? She was only 58 years old and in great health! Both my parents passed on many years ago, so like another poster, going back to Scotland doesn't conjure up lots of excitement for me. We practically had to drag our son onto the plane, he had no interest in visiting the UK at all. Our daughter who initially was full of excitement to visit the in-laws and friends, then asked if we could change our flights so we could 'Go home' 6 days early! My oh and I would rather spend the money and annual leave visiting other countries, seeing new sights and having a relaxing holiday which doesn't involve driving from one relatives house to another and sitting inside doing nothing but drink endless cups of tea haha Edited December 1, 2014 by ScotsQuine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindor Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 (edited) That's the kind of regularity with which I'd love to visit. Is that because of family or business commitments Lindor, or are you just missing home? Family EW. I have elderly parents, who are not in the best of health, a Daughter and 3 Granddaughters. I FaceTime them all weekly and exchange FB messages with my daughter most days, but I miss them all so much! I need to maintain my relationship with my Granddaughters, especially the little one. I'm not going to be Granny who moved to Australia who they never see! Edited December 1, 2014 by Lindor Gramma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AltyMatt Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 We were very luckily to be entitled to free flights back to the UK annually through my OHs company, but even so we have only been back to visit family in Scotland once in the last 10 years! We gave the mil the option to use our free flights to fly over to visit us when we lived in Asia, we were told it's too far to travel, can't you just visit us? She was only 58 years old and in great health! Both my parents passed on many years ago, so like another poster, going back to Scotland doesn't conjure up lots of excitement for me. We practically had to drag our son onto the plane, he had no interest in visiting the UK at all. Our daughter who initially was full of excitement to visit the in-laws and friends, then asked if we could change our flights so we could 'Go home' 6 days early! My oh and I would rather spend the money and annual leave visiting other countries, seeing new sights and having a relaxing holiday which doesn't involve driving from one relatives house to another and sitting inside doing nothing but drink endless cups of tea haha That's so true! You feel obligated to visit the rellies and distant friends - our daughter soon got bored. Most of my old friends have moved on & once I had the usual 'catch up' conversation they just wanted to know 'why would you want to come back to this?'. Admittedly the last time back was at the height of the gfc and some of them were out of work & many shops were vacant in my home town. Perhaps if I returned now we may have a more positive experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith and Linda Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 That's so true! You feel obligated to visit the rellies and distant friends - our daughter soon got bored. Most of my old friends have moved on & once I had the usual 'catch up' conversation they just wanted to know 'why would you want to come back to this?'. Admittedly the last time back was at the height of the gfc and some of them were out of work & many shops were vacant in my home town. Perhaps if I returned now we may have a more positive experience. Yep! we used to feel like that, but now we just let them all know where we will be on certain dates and they can catch-up with us there. I can tell you now, in general, they do not come, but hey remember they have to travel 10 miles or so to do that as well as put themselves out of their routine for a couple of hours or so! and it would be outside of work hours so making it more difficult for them :sad:,I think we expect too much of others!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Yep! we used to feel like that, but now we just let them all know where we will be on certain dates and they can catch-up with us there. I can tell you now, in general, they do not come, but hey remember they have to travel 10 miles or so to do that as well as put themselves out of their routine for a couple of hours or so! and it would be outside of work hours so making it more difficult for them :sad:,I think we expect too much of others!! I so agree with you, travel half way round the world and most then expect you to carry on travelling to visit them, just too difficult for many to make the effort. At least we all know it isn't personal as this is such a similar complaint!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Last time I went was for the funeral when my Mum died in 2002- a sad time for us . We got Dad back here to Australia for the last 5 years of his life and he loved it here and never went back. I have a lot of memories of how it was when I was growing up and I know that England has gone. We made our lives here in the early 1970s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScotsQuine Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 (edited) Yep! we used to feel like that, but now we just let them all know where we will be on certain dates and they can catch-up with us there. I can tell you now, in general, they do not come, but hey remember they have to travel 10 miles or so to do that as well as put themselves out of their routine for a couple of hours or so! and it would be outside of work hours so making it more difficult for them :sad:,I think we expect too much of others!! So very true! My Bil told us that he was too busy when we tried to arrange an evening meal in a convenient restaurant for all the extended families, he relented and came eventually! lol Edited December 1, 2014 by ScotsQuine Grammar, must remember not to type in Scottish lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith and Linda Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 I so agree with you, travel half way round the world and most then expect you to carry on travelling to visit them, just too difficult for many to make the effort.At least we all know it isn't personal as this is such a similar complaint!! There seems to be just an odd one or two in each family that tend to do the visiting, even when we lived in England, my family from Leeds, the wife's from near Bath, wherever we lived north or south it was too difficult for others to visit, even if they were almost passing us to go on holidays. OK it was a 4hr drive which we did once a month for a weekend, and they would have to get a full service done on their car, plus check the oil and water, and drive on a motorway for more than 15 minutes, pass through some strange towns which they don't know their way around, It could rain too (most unusual?) and of course the price of petrol just went up, have to do a packed lunch, pack bags, OOOOOOOOOOOOH its such a lot of trouble just to come and see us isn't it??? Then again even local relatives thought we were been awkward when we decided to stop calling in for a while to see if they would make an effort, no fall outs between us, but it was us that had to start the visiting again, but not as often as we would have liked, but then maybe that's what they wanted!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul1977 Posted December 1, 2014 Share Posted December 1, 2014 Before I get me head bit off I've read from start to finish on this thread and find it strange that there's a lot of people who don't want to go back to the UK and don't get much enjoyment being there but spend a lot of time on an expat website..!!!! #justsaying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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