Stuck in ‘Paradise’

[Parley]

1 hour ago, 22B said:

 

No Twickenham, no cars, no driving on nice country roads, no seasons (really), no Christmas, no family (on my side), no culture, no real history, no blackbirds, robins, fields of green, no holidays in Europe (unless you're prepared to sell a child to afford to stay on 'Rotto' and book 2 years in advance). This might be rose-tinted but it's a true reflection of what my life was full of previously. Now, I am a shell of the person who came here with a hope of positive change. 12 years have certainly solidified my thoughts about what I need to feel happy and the need to re-earth myself in Gloucestershire is beyond crippling.

 

 

But UK has no kangaroos, no koalas, no wombats, no emus and no dingos. It would be unbearable.

[Robert Dyson]

7 hours ago, Blue Flu said:

Whatever failings  the UK has and they are considerable, those of us that enjoy foreign travel, find it far more comfortable to do and far cheaper than undertaking it from Australia. Besides the ability to be able to live easier without the need of a car, together with closeness of places locally are to me the main attractions to being in UK.  

It would be a good base to explore from, you don't appreciate that when you live there.  A lot of Aussies i know have amazed me with the breadth of their travel in Europe, far more than the British people i know.  I guess that's because a lot have close family all over Europe..Italy, Slovenia, Greece, Croatia etc.   

The willigness to travel is also an Aussie thing, distance is no problem...they will hop in a car wearing a vest, shorts and flip flops and drive the equivalent of Birmingham to Glasgow to go for a meal.  It's amazing.  A bloke I worked with flew out on a Thursday to surprise his wife who working in Amsterdam.  He was back at his desk on Tuesday morning.  Spent 2 nights there !

The UK car thing is interesting....car hire prices have trebled in 2 years, am trying to book one for the new year and i cannot believe the prices they're asking for these tiny cars.

Edited November 16, 2021 by Robert Dyson

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, 22B said:

With no possibility of 'going home' because of my family I can't even talk to anyone about how I feel because it will be the end of things.

In that case, get yourself a counsellor. If you don't, you're doing your wife and children a disservice.  If you're not a horrible person to live with already, you soon will be - if you want your children to go on loving you, you need to find a way to stop your soul being eaten away.   A counsellor can't solve your problem or make the pain go away, but he/she can help you find ways to survive.  Don't be proud, don't think you're a man and men don't do therapy - that's old-fashioned.  If nothing else, a counsellor gives you someone to vent to, and you need that. See your GP and ask. 

[Toots]

2 hours ago, 22B said:

You and me and the chemist both. I can't bear it here.

We came across 12 years ago and had our third child here. Children are settled, wife has her career and her friends and despises the UK now, her parents and brothers are also here in Perth and of similar mindsets. Therefore I am completely and utterly stuck.

There's nothing here.

No Twickenham, no cars, no driving on nice country roads, no seasons (really), no Christmas, no family (on my side), no culture, no real history, no blackbirds, robins, fields of green, no holidays in Europe (unless you're prepared to sell a child to afford to stay on 'Rotto' and book 2 years in advance). This might be rose-tinted but it's a true reflection of what my life was full of previously. Now, I am a shell of the person who came here with a hope of positive change. 12 years have certainly solidified my thoughts about what I need to feel happy and the need to re-earth myself in Gloucestershire is beyond crippling.

Being broiled on an annual basis is depressing as are the people with their false and phoney overtly masculine 'beer o'clock' mentality... and don't get me started on 'morning tea' or the obsession with AFL or cricket.

With no possibility of 'going home' because of my family I can't even talk to anyone about how I feel because it will be the end of things... and I simply can't let that happen for the sake of our children and my wife's happiness.

So I'm resigned to living in a place I hate, with a longing to go home that is slowly eating away at my soul... with no hope of returning to the UK until the children are settled into their own lives and much older.

Only 15-20 years to wait.

 

I just don't know how you can hide how you feel from your wife.  It seems you are suffering from depression and I agree with everything Marisa said above.  Being with your wife and family should make you a happy man but obviously it's not enough.  You really need to see a GP about your unhappiness before you become physically ill too.

[Blue Flu]

33 minutes ago, Robert Dyson said:

It would be a good base to explore from, you don't appreciate that when you live there.  A lot of Aussies i know have amazed me with the breadth of their travel in Europe, far more than the British people i know.  I guess that's because a lot have close family all over Europe..Italy, Slovenia, Greece, Croatia etc.   

The willigness to travel is also an Aussie thing, distance is no problem...they will hop in a car wearing a vest, shorts and flip flops and drive the equivalent of Birmingham to Glasgow to go for a meal.  It's amazing.  A bloke I worked with flew out on a Thursday to surprise his wife who working in Amsterdam.  He was back at his desk on Tuesday morning.  Spent 2 nights there !

The UK car thing is interesting....car hire prices have trebled in 2 years, am trying to book one for the new year and i cannot believe the prices they're asking for these tiny cars.

I imagine with many Aussies it was a one off chance during their UK  experience, to do something impossible  from home. I'm not sure just how chilled out the more recent crop are. Many now work in professional positions , rather than pubs, agencies and the like that were perfect for to come and go at will to travel. I've read more are going to Canada these days than the old England trip of years past. As for Amsterdam, done weekends there many a time. Paris far more so (long weekends, including going by coach)  

I believe there are policies in place in UK to increase cycle use and move away from cars. Boris seems to be a big advocate of such. I guess Boris bikes were the initial foray into that.  

[proud preston]

@22B - exactly! Sorry to hear that you’re feeling a ‘shell of yourself’. Have you friends who are migrants as well as Australian friends? Migrant pals, I believe, are great - even if they don’t share my nostalgia and longing, they can share my love of the music scene and chat about bands in the UK when I was a teen, we can reminisce about familiar places and laugh at  ‘ in house’ jokes. It helps me. Gloucestershire is such a beautiful place too (even though I’m a Lancashire lass) Twickenham - studied social work there and would cycle along the Thames from Kingston. Bliss. Yep - robins and blackbirds - I’ve always missed the bird song and familiar trees ( I am currently sat in our back garden getting eaten by mozzies) but....I’m appreciating the beautiful birds here and the eucalyptus trees and.....taking advantage of the sun to grow peppers, passion fruit, toms, limes etc 

It is hard to disclose how difficult it is when battling homesickness as I’m sure others can either get bored or the glib statement ‘if you don’t like it leave’ ?! This forum has helped me although sometimes I wish there was a separate section for those who are really homesick and just want to vent without any well meaning suggestions/responses! (And no harm at all to those who have offered suggestions!) It’s not solely the plight of people from the UK (as I’m sure we are all aware) My beautiful Kiwi friend is counting down the days until she goes back to NZ as finds Qld grating and just misses ‘home’ 

Reading your post was heartening yet sad. It also reminded me of @bug family - and I wonder if he’s gone back to the UK?

There are times when I love Australia- when out hiking or clambering over rocks (but then the kangaroo situation out in the country makes me sad - but we won’t bring that up again ) or walking through rain forest, or driving along through ‘nothingness’ 

My sons, at this moment in time, would never contemplate the UK and there’s no way I would leave them....they could leave me and that’s fine ..but not the other way around. I suppose none of us know what’s in store and maybe it’s a case of ‘never say never’ 

I’m planning on taking long service leave for 2 months next year and will enjoy the company of my siblings, go to outdoor festivals, be a tourist in London, eat parched peas in Preston, wonder at the beautiful trees and revel in all this. It will be hard though as it will be the first time back since my mum died but ......It’s high time for a visit. 

[Blue Flu]

2 hours ago, 22B said:

You and me and the chemist both. I can't bear it here.

We came across 12 years ago and had our third child here. Children are settled, wife has her career and her friends and despises the UK now, her parents and brothers are also here in Perth and of similar mindsets. Therefore I am completely and utterly stuck.

There's nothing here.

No Twickenham, no cars, no driving on nice country roads, no seasons (really), no Christmas, no family (on my side), no culture, no real history, no blackbirds, robins, fields of green, no holidays in Europe (unless you're prepared to sell a child to afford to stay on 'Rotto' and book 2 years in advance). This might be rose-tinted but it's a true reflection of what my life was full of previously. Now, I am a shell of the person who came here with a hope of positive change. 12 years have certainly solidified my thoughts about what I need to feel happy and the need to re-earth myself in Gloucestershire is beyond crippling.

Being broiled on an annual basis is depressing as are the people with their false and phoney overtly masculine 'beer o'clock' mentality... and don't get me started on 'morning tea' or the obsession with AFL or cricket.

With no possibility of 'going home' because of my family I can't even talk to anyone about how I feel because it will be the end of things... and I simply can't let that happen for the sake of our children and my wife's happiness.

So I'm resigned to living in a place I hate, with a longing to go home that is slowly eating away at my soul... with no hope of returning to the UK until the children are settled into their own lives and much older.

Only 15-20 years to wait.

 

Australia really should come with warnings in the advent of one party not liking it. The repercussions can be do sad. Both on a family level as well as an individual. There are so many things close to impossible to recreate out here, if not willing to conduct it in an adapted version. One suggestion is why don't like minded people arrange some meet up's ? It could be once or twice a month at different venues perhaps in the City but place could be varied. Form a What's Ap page where nothing is out of bounds and support can be available during 'those dark times' .Nothing worse than feeling you are the only one with such thoughts. It can be hard to build dialogue out here. 

[Blue Flu]

1 hour ago, Robert Dyson said:

We have blackbirds on the south east coast, it appears to be very different from Perth, a lot more history and culture though nothing on the UK scale....4 very distinct seasons, currently you can hardly tell the difference from the UK, green and wet, misty mountains, rivers overflowing....though i guess why that's why they call it NSW.   We have a lot working over here from WA, they won't go back until they retire when they want a more sedentary lifestyle.

At the beginning of the pandemic a mate living up on the coast near Coffs Harbour got out and went back to the UK and has just spent 18 months in Presteigne, not far from Gloucestershire.  Although he was locked down for an awfully long time and has been unable to return to his home in Australia when he wanted to, he's had a whale of a time immersing himself back in English pub culture, done lots of walking and retraced the Bruce Chatwin travel books, he's spending money on nice meals and generally reconnecting with an old culture, even if it had been forced upon him.  He is now desperate to get back to Australia for the summer though, he doesn't fancy being stuck there for another winter.  There is something to be said for taking long breaks...places can't make you happy if you're unhappy, they can relieve symptoms.

 

Places can indeed relieve symptoms , which is near enough to happiness in my book. Perhaps some need the change as well? I know I do. Too long in one place somehow fail to notice things with the same clear vision. It becomes ordinary and everyday. I looked at Coffs Harbour recently, as a possible alternative. But no, the problems experiencing now here, seem equally an issue there. 

[ramot]

3 hours ago, Robert Dyson said:

It would be a good base to explore from, you don't appreciate that when you live there.  A lot of Aussies i know have amazed me with the breadth of their travel in Europe, far more than the British people i know.  I guess that's because a lot have close family all over Europe..Italy, Slovenia, Greece, Croatia etc.   

The willigness to travel is also an Aussie thing, distance is no problem...they will hop in a car wearing a vest, shorts and flip flops and drive the equivalent of Birmingham to Glasgow to go for a meal.  It's amazing.  A bloke I worked with flew out on a Thursday to surprise his wife who working in Amsterdam.  He was back at his desk on Tuesday morning.  Spent 2 nights there !

The UK car thing is interesting....car hire prices have trebled in 2 years, am trying to book one for the new year and i cannot believe the prices they're asking for these tiny cars.

I came to Australia for one week in 1990 from UK when my husband was working here.

I can’t believe the amount of travelling people I Know here have done, eg Norway, Africa, Iceland, painting holidays in Italy, chartered sailing yachts to sail round Greece, so much more adventurous, but many do also go on cruisesThere is absolutely no comparison to my UK friends of a similar age have bothered to do, most only go on cruises or 2 weeks desperate for some sun to the continent. 

[MacGyver]

3 hours ago, ramot said:

I came to Australia for one week in 1990 from UK when my husband was working here.

I can’t believe the amount of travelling people I Know here have done, eg Norway, Africa, Iceland, painting holidays in Italy, chartered sailing yachts to sail round Greece, so much more adventurous, but many do also go on cruisesThere is absolutely no comparison to my UK friends of a similar age have bothered to do, most only go on cruises or 2 weeks desperate for some sun to the continent. 

I think you’re absolutely right - when my friends in Scotland go on holiday they look to escape to the sun for a few weeks. This is normally Somehwere in Europe or America that allows them to sit by the pool or on the beach and relax (and drink).

Friends over here get sick of the sun so when they go on holiday they look for an experience/adventure instead. This tends to lead to ski trips, yacht trips, cultural/historical city breaks in Europe, driving tours around Europe, USA, Canada etc. 

I know this is a huge generalisation but there tends to be a different mindset with travel - another possible factor being the distances involved. If you’re travelling to Europe from Australia you might as well go for a longer trip and see and do as much as you can, no time to sit still. Whereas flying from Scotland to Europe is so brief you can afford to sit and do nothing as you could easily fly back a few weeks later if you missed something (not that they do).

The outcome is my Scottish friends have travelled to far less places than my Australian friends, and the places they have visited tend to be beach/swimming pool/sun focussed (often returning to the same place year after year). The Aussie’s seem to tick a continent off the list And move onto the next one, looking for new experiences to sustain them until the next long service leave or similar comes along.

[Blue Flu]

7 hours ago, MacGyver said:

I think you’re absolutely right - when my friends in Scotland go on holiday they look to escape to the sun for a few weeks. This is normally Somehwere in Europe or America that allows them to sit by the pool or on the beach and relax (and drink).

Friends over here get sick of the sun so when they go on holiday they look for an experience/adventure instead. This tends to lead to ski trips, yacht trips, cultural/historical city breaks in Europe, driving tours around Europe, USA, Canada etc. 

I know this is a huge generalisation but there tends to be a different mindset with travel - another possible factor being the distances involved. If you’re travelling to Europe from Australia you might as well go for a longer trip and see and do as much as you can, no time to sit still. Whereas flying from Scotland to Europe is so brief you can afford to sit and do nothing as you could easily fly back a few weeks later if you missed something (not that they do).

The outcome is my Scottish friends have travelled to far less places than my Australian friends, and the places they have visited tend to be beach/swimming pool/sun focussed (often returning to the same place year after year). The Aussie’s seem to tick a continent off the list And move onto the next one, looking for new experiences to sustain them until the next long service leave or similar comes along.

In a sense a little like the vast ground covered by many foreigners coming over to Australia as back packers . So many see far more than the average Australian will ever see of their own country, unless later in life do the Grey Nomad thing. 

What I have noticed in Australia, is far fewer young Australians "doing Aussie"  over more recent decade. When I was young in Australia it was somewhat almost the norm to hit the road in a station wagon, or something similar and work one's way around Australia. I was not aware of Grey Nomads back then, but lots of people towed caravans, but more on a holiday. 

If not around Australia, it was usually to London. An entire Aussie sub culture existed in London and along with Kiwi's and Saffa's a somewhat 'tight' group often living with own kind. But back in the day London was more affordable. There were cheap eating places, work was plentiful and a home from home for those not wanting to immerse to deep into London culture. 

There was plenty of young people doing the month or so Contiki Tour of Europe as well, (if it's Tuesday it must be Belgium sort of thing)  Those tours were almost all Aussie/Kiwi and some called booze tours of Europe. 

It seems to me that with the extremely high cost in housing , more emphasis on career , more conservative thinking, less are undertaking the longer , "get out there and see what we find" attitude to a more focused travel of limited duration and more targeted. 

But I agree even back in the day, the Brit's didn't travel to that extent. I recall back packing started to take off in number in the late seventies. More started traveling to Asia (post 60's early 70's over land travellers , which obviously included a number of Brits, but from people met who had done it, more Germans, French and Americans. 

I guess it was some point in the mid eighties when British back packers  in Australia became noticeable due to sheer numbers.  

 

[Bulya]

23 hours ago, 22B said:

You and me and the chemist both. I can't bear it here.

We came across 12 years ago and had our third child here. Children are settled, wife has her career and her friends and despises the UK now, her parents and brothers are also here in Perth and of similar mindsets. Therefore I am completely and utterly stuck.

There's nothing here.

No Twickenham, no cars, no driving on nice country roads, no seasons (really), no Christmas, no family (on my side), no culture, no real history, no blackbirds, robins, fields of green, no holidays in Europe (unless you're prepared to sell a child to afford to stay on 'Rotto' and book 2 years in advance). This might be rose-tinted but it's a true reflection of what my life was full of previously. Now, I am a shell of the person who came here with a hope of positive change. 12 years have certainly solidified my thoughts about what I need to feel happy and the need to re-earth myself in Gloucestershire is beyond crippling.

Being broiled on an annual basis is depressing as are the people with their false and phoney overtly masculine 'beer o'clock' mentality... and don't get me started on 'morning tea' or the obsession with AFL or cricket.

With no possibility of 'going home' because of my family I can't even talk to anyone about how I feel because it will be the end of things... and I simply can't let that happen for the sake of our children and my wife's happiness.

So I'm resigned to living in a place I hate, with a longing to go home that is slowly eating away at my soul... with no hope of returning to the UK until the children are settled into their own lives and much older.

Only 15-20 years to wait.

 

So why did you move to Perth when there are more suitable places here? 

[Robert Dyson]

7 hours ago, Blue Flu said:

If not around Australia, it was usually to London. An entire Aussie sub culture existed in London and along with Kiwi's and Saffa's a somewhat 'tight' group often living with own kind. But back in the day London was more affordable. There were cheap eating places, work was plentiful and a home from home for those not wanting to immerse to deep into London culture. 

Shepherd's Bush used to be full of Saffa's and Aussie's, but they could earn enough from bar work and a good exchange rate to take enough money home with them to put down a house deposit.  They can't do that anymore, so i read that most Aussie's now look for professional jobs in the city and have just elevated themselves above the old backpacker scene.

[Blue Flu]

2 hours ago, Robert Dyson said:

Shepherd's Bush used to be full of Saffa's and Aussie's, but they could earn enough from bar work and a good exchange rate to take enough money home with them to put down a house deposit.  They can't do that anymore, so i read that most Aussie's now look for professional jobs in the city and have just elevated themselves above the old backpacker scene.

They came after my time (Shepherds Bush ) at least in big numbers,  but did go to The Walkabout on an extended  stay in London in 2010. Saw Australia play Germany on the big screen there during the World Cup. That closed a few years back, with the reasons giving fewer Aussies  on that type now going to London. (less Bogans) Prior to Shepherds Bush and Acton , it was still a last stand in Roo Valley, (Earls Court) , but already more were moving to areas like Clapham. 

Yes good exchange rate , but live in pub jobs paid GBP 120 , which while considered okay at the time, was hardly enough to build big savings. But it did allow flexibility to travel Europe. I suspect Australia has changed a lot as well. Far more serious in most every aspect , hence factors like working holidays in low paid employment not so sought. London fine for a career move. Although mixed reports about the value of overseas experience in many areas. Some employers emphasizing local experience.  

Edited November 17, 2021 by Blue Flu

[bug family]

On 16/11/2021 at 16:18, proud preston said:

It also reminded me of @bug family - and I wonder if he’s gone back to the UK?

Not yet ...still stuck in this dusty baron land......but I am working on it, trust me 

leaving here will be both the hardest and the easiest thing I have ever done, literally.........leaving my children takes my breath away

But missing home and being able to go back and start another new adventure pulls me in the opposite direction

I have mentioned before that I am returning but with a totally new career and new work area, (an ambulance trust in England somewhere, think big city), but even though I plan to work somewhere new, I also plan to save up and get a house (deposit and mortgage as I am broke:) in or around my home town in North Wales, so that I am not living and working in the same area on my days off (for mental health reasons due to the nature of the job), .......my point is I feel that I have a better chance of making this work as I am not 'going back' to try and fit into my old life, this is a new life .......and my children, after a period of time (which I have accepted will be very hard)  will also have the chance of a new life and new adventures...I am not walking away, I am simply opening up new doors for them

My job here in Australia really does put life into perspective, when you are around real sickness and death on a regular basis it makes you focus on TIME and how you spend it and more importantly how much you may have left.....

The welsh have a saying

noun: hiraeth

1. (especially in the context of Wales or Welsh culture) deep longing for something, especially one's home.

   "I could not begin to put into words the hiraeth that the Welsh feel for the mountains and valleys of their homeland"

    

   Hiraeth is not something that you can explain as such, you either feel it or you do not, you do not even have to be Welsh or from Wales to experience it, the longing for home, wherever that may be never goes away ....

[Paul1Perth]

36 minutes ago, bug family said:

Not yet ...still stuck in this dusty baron land......but I am working on it, trust me 

leaving here will be both the hardest and the easiest thing I have ever done, literally.........leaving my children takes my breath away

But missing home and being able to go back and start another new adventure pulls me in the opposite direction

I have mentioned before that I am returning but with a totally new career and new work area, (an ambulance trust in England somewhere, think big city), but even though I plan to work somewhere new, I also plan to save up and get a house (deposit and mortgage as I am broke:) in or around my home town in North Wales, so that I am not living and working in the same area on my days off (for mental health reasons due to the nature of the job), .......my point is I feel that I have a better chance of making this work as I am not 'going back' to try and fit into my old life, this is a new life .......and my children, after a period of time (which I have accepted will be very hard)  will also have the chance of a new life and new adventures...I am not walking away, I am simply opening up new doors for them

My job here in Australia really does put life into perspective, when you are around real sickness and death on a regular basis it makes you focus on TIME and how you spend it and more importantly how much you may have left.....

The welsh have a saying

noun: hiraeth

1. (especially in the context of Wales or Welsh culture) deep longing for something, especially one's home.

   "I could not begin to put into words the hiraeth that the Welsh feel for the mountains and valleys of their homeland"

    

   Hiraeth is not something that you can explain as such, you either feel it or you do not, you do not even have to be Welsh or from Wales to experience it, the longing for home, wherever that may be never goes away ....

So, as well as not liking Aus you have a shit job that makes you more depressed.

[bug family]

4 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

So, as well as not liking Aus you have a shit job that makes you more depressed.

no sorry Paul you are miles away on that one, I absolutely love my job  yes there are some sad days and some difficult days, but the good days make up for it, I consider myself lucky as I get to meet people of all ages, genders, cultures from all walks of life and get the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life...no matter how small that difference may be.....as for being depressed I do not consider myself to be a person who suffers from depression, I am quite lucky like that I suppose, i am however homesick which in a way leads to a form of exogenous depression but this can be remedied by returning home....I hope

[Blue Flu]

5 hours ago, Paul1Perth said:

So, as well as not liking Aus you have a shit job that makes you more depressed.

Must say the environs in my area at least is enough when the anger is over come to incite a less than warm glowing feeling. 

[proud preston]

@bug family- Well meaning posts have wondered if I’m depressed too - not at all - yet I do have this constant longing for ‘home’. I’m wondering about your thoughts on the mini obsession I have with ‘we should have migrated to Canada’ Some have discounted this and said I’d still feel so homesick - and whilst I can see their point yet ......Canada has the same 4 seasons, it’s the Northern Hemisphere, old buildings, also French, probably similar opportunities to here and it’s so much nearer to the UK. Familiar trees, mountains, lots of hiking in decent  weather. Easier to wrap up warm than try and stay cool. etc. I’ve an old school friend who lives in Catskills, New York state. She has acres of land filled with deciduous trees and gets snow at Christmas- I’ve often thought I may have taken to Canada more than Australia but that ship has sailed anyway as too old to try. 

[Amber Snowball]

1 hour ago, proud preston said:

@bug family- Well meaning posts have wondered if I’m depressed too - not at all - yet I do have this constant longing for ‘home’. I’m wondering about your thoughts on the mini obsession I have with ‘we should have migrated to Canada’ Some have discounted this and said I’d still feel so homesick - and whilst I can see their point yet ......Canada has the same 4 seasons, it’s the Northern Hemisphere, old buildings, also French, probably similar opportunities to here and it’s so much nearer to the UK. Familiar trees, mountains, lots of hiking in decent  weather. Easier to wrap up warm than try and stay cool. etc. I’ve an old school friend who lives in Catskills, New York state. She has acres of land filled with deciduous trees and gets snow at Christmas- I’ve often thought I may have taken to Canada more than Australia but that ship has sailed anyway as too old to try. 

I can sympathise, I have sometimes thought maybe I shouldn’t have chosen Australia but not sure it would have been any different tbh. Canadians and Americans are very different cultures again and relative proximity doesn’t mean they are any more similar to the UK than continental europe. The weather and landscape might be more similar but probably not much else, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up about a decision made in good faith, with the information at hand at the time and many years ago.

I have moved to a different part of the uk and I think this is about as good as I can hope for. I miss some aspects of australia but not much. It was a good adventure for 10 years and served me well, last 3 years were more unsettled, but anyway. All we can do is make the best of what we have. I wish you peace and happiness.

[proud preston]

@Amber Snowball Thank you. Appreciate that response. 

[Paul1Perth]

10 hours ago, proud preston said:

@bug family- Well meaning posts have wondered if I’m depressed too - not at all - yet I do have this constant longing for ‘home’. I’m wondering about your thoughts on the mini obsession I have with ‘we should have migrated to Canada’ Some have discounted this and said I’d still feel so homesick - and whilst I can see their point yet ......Canada has the same 4 seasons, it’s the Northern Hemisphere, old buildings, also French, probably similar opportunities to here and it’s so much nearer to the UK. Familiar trees, mountains, lots of hiking in decent  weather. Easier to wrap up warm than try and stay cool. etc. I’ve an old school friend who lives in Catskills, New York state. She has acres of land filled with deciduous trees and gets snow at Christmas- I’ve often thought I may have taken to Canada more than Australia but that ship has sailed anyway as too old to try. 

That was the other place we would have tried for had we not got in here. Both me and the wife love the beach, sun, warm weather though. Every holiday we had we were off to Portugal, Greece, Spain. We had a timeshare on the Algarve for a few years, used to love it there. We were always depressed flying back into Manchester airport after hols.

My wife lived in Canada, Toronto, for most of her secondary school years. She had a Canadian accent when I met her. My son lived in Whistler for a couple of years, he loved it and the snownboarding. We visited and had a brilliant time. 

Too cold for us though. Son came back a couple of years ago, luckily just before covid. We have friends who's son and girlfriend are still stuck there. It's not a place you can save money but as a youngster party central. I've written in other threads about the drug problem in Vancouver. Has to be seen to be believed. Like the authorities have just given up on about a quarter of the City.

We all still love the warm weather, beach lifestyle and being close to the ocean.

[Paul1Perth]

8 hours ago, Amber Snowball said:

I can sympathise, I have sometimes thought maybe I shouldn’t have chosen Australia but not sure it would have been any different tbh. Canadians and Americans are very different cultures again and relative proximity doesn’t mean they are any more similar to the UK than continental europe. The weather and landscape might be more similar but probably not much else, so I wouldn’t beat yourself up about a decision made in good faith, with the information at hand at the time and many years ago.

I have moved to a different part of the uk and I think this is about as good as I can hope for. I miss some aspects of australia but not much. It was a good adventure for 10 years and served me well, last 3 years were more unsettled, but anyway. All we can do is make the best of what we have. I wish you peace and happiness.

We were going to move somewhere, even if we'd ended up stuck in the UK. I had been eyeing up jobs on the South Coast. Would have been horrendously expensive moving from Manchester and the salaries aren't much better down there. It's surprising what a move in the UK could do, if you find a lifestyle you like. I've really enjoyed Michael Portillos recent series walking the South Coast path. Thought I could easily live in a few of those places.

My wifes Sister and hubby live in Tolpuddle, which is OK. Still too far from the coast for us and too quite. They'd had 10 years in Bermuda, teaching before that. 

Their kids were out of there as soon as they could though. One lives in Nottingham and the other now in Jersey at the moment. They did a couple of years teaching in China to save some money.

We feel extremely lucky to have found somewhere that suits us to a tee.

 

[MARYROSE02]

On 09/11/2021 at 07:02, Robert Dyson said:

Everybody needs roots, there are still people over here who religiously watch Coronation Street, or Eastenders, or Emmerdale.  Same thing, humans are sentimental beings, it's what differentiates us and gorillas from the rest of the animal kingdom.

I just think making yourself a slave to sentiment isn't healthy, neither is relying on a Government to do the right thing.  One of the differences I notice in Australia is that it encourages people to take control of their own destiny, sometimes by tough love, sometimes by  giving more opportunity than you'd get elsewhere.  That generally sets up Australians for a very good life.  If you can do that, you can visit the UK as often as possible to deal with the nostalgia, but without thinking you need it to survive.

 

I do have periods when I listen to The Archers but I'm not into soaps on the TV whether Pommie or Aussie. Maybe I need one for Aussies and Pommies stranded half way in Singapore!

[Red Rose]

I have not read all the posts in this thread, but for some people they just have this strong emotional attachment to the UK and don't realise what they have been missing until they have experienced living overseas. The UK is far from perfect of, of course, but for me it is the quaintness and old fashioned charm of this country that I find most appealing. I realise how much I love old fashioned royal mail post boxes built into stone walls, national trust houses, English pubs, places like the lake District, cream teas, the cold, open fires, narrow country lanes, and just the sheer diversity of landscape, accents and culture in such a small country. The attachment and yearning some people have for the UK will always be more than superficial because the UK is a part of them, it's in their DNA, and no amount of counselling or counter arguments will ever change that.