How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?

[Toots]

2 hours ago, InnerVoice said:

I loved surfing, drinking, and the hot weather (and still do, to a lesser extent), but after spending a year in Sydney when I first moved to Australia, I came to the same conclusion about Sydneysiders. I found them incredibly self-centred, superficial, and obsessed with material wealth. I left because I didn't like the people and had no desire to be part of their rat race, but I still think it's a beautiful city and a great place to visit for a few days. I'm sure Sydney's in no way unique in that respect, and you'll find the same mentality in any of the world's major commercial centres where people's main objective is to get rich and flaunt it.

We lived in Sydney for well over 20 years.  We made some very good friends over that time.  Not everybody is money obsessed and living in the eastern suburbs/north shore.  There are tens of thousands of down to earth people in Sydney.  Last week we were up there visiting friends and drove down our old street.  When we lived there, many of the houses were weatherboard with bullnose verandahs and we knew all our neighbours.  In fact we had the same neighbours for most of the years we lived there.  Sadly most of the weatherboards have gone to be replaced by huge monstrosities or the blocks have been subdivided and where one house once stood there are now two or even three.  So happy to be away from it all.

[InnerVoice]

9 minutes ago, Toots said:

We lived in Sydney for well over 20 years.  We made some very good friends over that time.  Not everybody is money obsessed and living in the eastern suburbs/north shore.  There are tens of thousands of down to earth people in Sydney.  Last week we were up there visiting friends and drove down our old street.  When we lived there, many of the houses were weatherboard with bullnose verandahs and we knew all our neighbours.  In fact we had the same neighbours for most of the years we lived there.  Sadly most of the weatherboards have gone to be replaced by huge monstrosities or the blocks have been subdivided and where one house once stood there are now two or even three.  So happy to be away from it all.

I'm guessing you were living in Sydney long before I arrived. I have very similarly fond memories of my early years in Brisbane, but I think it's going the same way as Sydney and Melbourne. The appearance of those monstrous cube homes that fill the entire block are usually a clear sign of the changing demographic!

[Toots]

1 hour ago, InnerVoice said:

I'm guessing you were living in Sydney long before I arrived. I have very similarly fond memories of my early years in Brisbane, but I think it's going the same way as Sydney and Melbourne. The appearance of those monstrous cube homes that fill the entire block are usually a clear sign of the changing demographic!

I don't know when you arrived but we first landed in Sydney in 1981.  We were there for about 18 months then went to Perth.  Our sons were born in Perth.  We left Perth at the start of 1987 to return to Sydney until we retired 10 years ago when we then came to Tasmania.  

[Skani]

On 07/02/2024 at 11:57, Bristolgirl said:

 To sum up - Sydney is fun when you are young/travelling/holidaying but not for those who want real, deep and meaningful connections.

There are many Australians who live in other parts of the country who feel the same about Sydney as you.  And fortunately, those of us who dislike heat can find cool temperate climate spots in the country.

[Rallyman]

On 08/02/2024 at 15:57, Toots said:

I don't know when you arrived but we first landed in Sydney in 1981.  We were there for about 18 months then went to Perth.  Our sons were born in Perth.  We left Perth at the start of 1987 to return to Sydney until we retired 10 years ago when we then came to Tasmania.  

Did you build your own place in Tasmania Toots ? 
 

[Toots]

1 hour ago, Rallyman said:

Did you build your own place in Tasmania Toots ? 
 

No we didn't @Rallyman.  Our house is as old as us.    We built our house in Perth and renovated our house in Sydney so we just wanted an older house in an old area of town.  It's a quiet area very close to the beach and the river.  My husband had had enough of building.

[AnthonyC]

Pretty much since I came out with my parents when I was 12. I never identified with Australia, Australians or the Australian way of life - always felt alien to all that.  Twelve was a very formative age for me and I was just starting to come into my own when they decided to immigrate. Immigrating stuffed me over no end for a long time but I never lost that sense of 'home' and have been trying to get back and resettle ever since - trouble is circumstances and the old comparison game kicked in and I ended up returning to Oz.

I'm now 60 and my Mum is 83 (she lives in the UK) and the clock's ticking so I'm feeling the pinch more than ever to relocate and establish myself back home. I'm in the planning phase now (getting everything in order etc) to relocate back next year.

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, AnthonyC said:

I'm now 60 and my Mum is 83 (she lives in the UK) and the clock's ticking so I'm feeling the pinch more than ever to relocate and establish myself back home. I'm in the planning phase now (getting everything in order etc) to relocate back next year.

Are you aware that if you leave Australia before you reach pension age, you won't be able to claim your Australian govt pension?   Do you have enough super that you won't need it?  Are you eligible for the UK pension instead?

Also, be sure you look into the best way to collect your super.  If you wait until you've moved overseas and then claim your lump sum, you'll lose a huge chunk of it to the British taxman.   So if you want a lump sum, it's vital to withdraw it well before you leave Australia.  Once it's landed in your Australian account, it's just 'savings' and you'll be able to transfer it without tax implications.

[Home and Happy]

We couldnt wait to get out of that place and get back to UK and we eventually left.

Once that seed is planted it’s just a matter of time.   We knew very quickly that we’d made a wrong move but we stuck it out. 

As the others said, the culture, convenience, location in the centre of everything, connectivity to the world, job opportunities, seasonal weather,  more vibrant, endless weekend breaks, the countryside round where we live, the food, the pubs, travel to Europe, friends, family etc the list is endless as to why the UK is an amazing place to live despite its problems. 

We were bored stiff living in the “burbs” and sitting on the patio night after night. 

  

[jimmyay1]

Always seems to be people from suburban Perth who struggle or struggled the most before giving up on their migration.  

There are different lifestyles open to people in Australia than being stuck "bored sitting on a patio in endless suburbia night after night" 

[Bulya]

9 hours ago, Home and Happy said:

We couldnt wait to get out of that place and get back to UK and we eventually left.

Once that seed is planted it’s just a matter of time.   We knew very quickly that we’d made a wrong move but we stuck it out. 

As the others said, the culture, convenience, location in the centre of everything, connectivity to the world, job opportunities, seasonal weather,  more vibrant, endless weekend breaks, the countryside round where we live, the food, the pubs, travel to Europe, friends, family etc the list is endless as to why the UK is an amazing place to live despite its problems. 

We were bored stiff living in the “burbs” and sitting on the patio night after night. 

  

Perth?? 

[Bulya]

52 minutes ago, jimmyay1 said:

Always seems to be people from suburban Perth who struggle or struggled the most before giving up on their migration.  

There are different lifestyles open to people in Australia than being stuck "bored sitting on a patio in endless suburbia night after night" 

Never understood why poms move to Perth.  

[hop]

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

[Toots]

1 hour ago, jimmyay1 said:

Always seems to be people from suburban Perth who struggle or struggled the most before giving up on their migration.  

There are different lifestyles open to people in Australia than being stuck "bored sitting on a patio in endless suburbia night after night" 

I think it's that true Anglophiles will never be happy anywhere except the UK.

[Toots]

20 minutes ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

You should seriously think of returning to your home country if possible.  There are loads of people who dislike Australia and Australians and try to stick it out for whatever reason but that is bad for your soul.

I lived in Sydney for years and toward the end got fed up of the rat race so escaped/retired to Tasmania and thoroughly enjoy life here,  There are mountains forests and lakes here and I spend a fair bit of time exploring those areas.  The people are friendly and all in all I haven't too many complaints.

Hope you also manage to escape soon.  

[jimmyay1]

38 minutes ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

how long have you lived in Australia and where abouts are you based? 

[Marisawright]

1 hour ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated.

Is there no way you could get up and go home?

[bluequay]

1 hour ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

I miss your idealised view of the UK and I still live here!!

[Nemesis]

4 hours ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

You sound like an echo of myself two years ago. Now been home for 14 months (after 19 years in Oz) and have never felt better. Hope you find similar peace even if its an upheaval to get back here.

[Bulya]

5 hours ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

So much nonsense in this it isn’t funny.  Only sand and bushes?  No fans in bathrooms?  

[rammygirl]

17 hours ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

I don’t really recognise that view of Aus. Not like that where I am in the Adelaide Hills. The only thing I do agree with is that I do find Christmas a bit strange still. 

[Bulya]

47 minutes ago, rammygirl said:

I don’t really recognise that view of Aus. Not like that where I am in the Adelaide Hills. The only thing I do agree with is that I do find Christmas a bit strange still. 

Agree on Xmas a little but yes the rest doesn’t match life here 

[jimmyay1]

19 hours ago, hop said:

Immediately. Australia is soulless and isolated. I miss good manners (no one says "please" in Australia), I dislike being called "mate" constantly. I miss the mountains, lakes, forests and all the amazing scenery in the UK. There's no scenery in Australia, just sand and bushes. I miss British accents, British TV (Australian TV is unwatchable), British supermarkets which are light years ahead in quality and choice. I miss the UK's temperate maritime climate. It's too hot to do anything outdoors in Australia.

I miss Christmas in the UK. Christmas has no atmosphere in Australia. Although I'm not terribly religious I miss churches and village greens and British pubs and houses with character. In Australia I've been harrassed by people in the streets, many of them I suspect were on drugs and I was attacked once. The police didn't care. They laughed when I reported an item was stolen from the rental. Never had a problem in the UK in over 50 years with regards to crime.

I miss how friendly and reliable people are in the UK. When selling items on Facebook everyone bar one person turned up on time. Wonderful experience. In Australia I had a terrible experience selling items. 

I miss etiquette. People walk around barefoot in shops which is incredibly rude. Do that in a supermarket in the UK and you would be asked to put on shoes and rightly so. I was horrified to find the bathroom had no ventilation, no extractor fan or even a window and to make matters worse there were sockets. So unless you have the door open (so no privacy) the room will fill with condensation so very dangerous.

I miss professionalism we have in the UK. Train drivers blasting out loud music from their cabs is something I never heard on UK trains. Estate agents showing me around a flat that was a complete mess. He blamed the tenant but it should be the responsibility of the estate agent to ensure rentals are tidy before allowing anyone to look around. 

It's really to fixate on all that ails you isnt it?   Many of these complaints are little niggles that would be neither here nor there if you fundamentally weren't unhappy (which i don't doubt you are, and should probably take a break in the uk).   But a quick examination of most of the points would make you realise they are very contextual. 

Your complaints are: 

Australia is soulless

Australia is isolated

Australians have bad manners 

Australians use different language to address you to what you deem appropriate

Australia has no scenery (e.g mountains lakes and forests).  just sand and bushes

Australians harrass you in the street, are on drugs and you are a victim of crime

Australians have no etiquette

Australians are unreliable

Australians wear inappropriate clothing, and no one admonishes them for this

Australia has no electrical safety standards in bathrooms

Christmas in Australia has no atmosphere

Australians mock your misfortune

Australian train drivers are unprofessional

Australian estate agents are unprofessional (ok   - i think we can grant you this one) 

As anyone can see from the list above, taken apart, these are all massive generalisations and you have garnered a set of "beliefs" about "Australia" and "Australians" which prevent you seeing things with a sense of  perspective and which serve to further isolate you. 

I know from experience, it is easy to become depressed and then every little thing annoys you.  You clearly feel very trapped.  When you feel this way, you blame everything and anything that upsets you. 

I seriously suggest taking action to either take a good long holiday in the Uk - it may fix some of this - or to start thinking about moving back or take steps to change perspective. 

From your post it sounds like you are 50+.  Have you been in Australia a long time?  Do you get back to the Uk often?  Have you got a family or friend support network here?  If you really dislike where you live, have you considered another part of the country? 

I see your posts as a rant to get things off your chest which is totally fine and we can all smile at one or two of the reasons you give and recognise some of them. But when they become dominating, you need to do something about this.  

 

[Ken]

2 hours ago, Bulya said:

Agree on Xmas a little but yes the rest doesn’t match life here 

Yes, Christmas lights at 5pm against a dark UK sky as you head home from work are completely different (and far more uplifting) to those in Australia where it's going to remain bright and sunny for hours.

[jimmyay1]

1 hour ago, Ken said:

Yes, Christmas lights at 5pm against a dark UK sky as you head home from work are completely different (and far more uplifting) to those in Australia where it's going to remain bright and sunny for hours.

Personally i find the fact that it is going to be bright and sunny for hours uplifting in itself, and i now associate that with Christmas (although i know plenty of people do struggle with it).

What i also love about an Aussie Christmas is that everyone is looking forward to summer as well as Christmas, and the long holiday period that follows. 

In the UK, it's all about creating a pre Christmas "atmosphere" by stuffing your face for a month, and cheering yourself up with twinkly lights, whilst cold rain and darkness descends.........and then you are dumped on the frozen shores of 2nd of January feeling bloated, hungover and depressed. 

Meanwhile in Australia, Christmas and New Year are the start of summer, bright sun, beaches, family get togethers at wineries or in the pool and a time for road trips, adventure, and holidays, and the tennis. 

I do also think they could make more of an effort here in terms of public celebrations. 

Our local Council (inner Melbourne) didnt put a single street decoration up last Christmas.  You would hardly have known it was happening in terms of public displays.    

I have done a couple of Christmasses  back in the UK since i emigrated to Aus.

Whilst i enjoyed going back for it, I did get a sense that over there these days 25 December is the end rather than the start of the season, that people enjoy the weeks of December build up more, rather than what comes after the 25th, as seems to be the case in Aus.

i also could not wait to come home on 1 Jan, as the bleakness of the UK in January descended! 

Edited May 7 by jimmyay1