Just 4 weeks and we are ready (ish) to head home

[bristolman]

9 minutes ago, ali said:

I think for me (as I made the comparison to the US), it's not people but just the feel of it, the roads, suburbs etc., 

Yes, exactly. 

[simmo]

3 hours ago, bristolman said:

Yes, exactly. 

And TV adverts

[Gbye grey sky]

6 hours ago, ali said:

I think for me (as I made the comparison to the US), it's not people but just the feel of it, the roads, suburbs etc., 

Yes, it definitely looks much more like the USA than the UK.  Both are large land masses whereas the UK is a small island so roads are wider and straighter here, suburbs are more spread out, more homes are low set (bungalows) with semi-detached and terrace housing rare.  More reliance on car and everything laid out with the car in mind.  Retail centres with large billboards strung along the sides of roads.

[Maybe]

Yes, both look good in their own ways. I had visited before arriving & knew how Australia looked. Guess I never thought I would care about such things, as driving here is easy (despite long distances at times), but you can drive for hours and just see land land land however beutiful. Little did I know I would miss diversity in landscape much and driving actually getting to place however ugly at times (even if I see uk w rose tinted glasses at present do still remember some pretty grey & bleak places too!). Anyhow someone else  on this forum recently wrote;  preference comes down to what you value the most. Realise how lucky I  am to be able to live in such great places - but you can’t be in two places at one & I guess it is interesting though a little hard and complicated having made such a big move getting to know once prefences and values... 

[Marisawright]

55 minutes ago, Maybe said:

 Realise how lucky I  am to be able to live in such great places - but you can’t be in two places at one & I guess it is interesting though a little hard and complicated having made such a big move getting to know once prefences and values... 

Yes, it's true that you never really know before you go.  I'm SO glad that my (now ex-)husband got a three-year contract in Africa before we considered moving to Australia.  If we hadn't, I might've been in your shoes!

The whole time we were in Africa, I was hankering to be back in the UK.    However, when I got back, I got a shock.   I would never have said I was one for wearing rose-tinted glasses, and I'd even had a holiday in the UK in the middle of the contract, so I was amazed to discover how much I had suppressed my knowledge of the downsides of British life. It didn't take me long to remember why I'd been so keen to go overseas in the first place! 

Anyhow, having been through that experience, it meant that when I went to Australia, I left with a clear-eyed picture of what I was leaving behind.  That made it much easier to settle.

It is all down to preferences, there is no right and wrong.  Some people feel happier in Oz, some people feel happier in the UK or Europe or...

[tea4too]

9 hours ago, Marisawright said:

.......The whole time we were in Africa, I was hankering to be back in the UK.    However, when I got back, I got a shock.   I would never have said I was one for wearing rose-tinted glasses, and I'd even had a holiday in the UK in the middle of the contract, so I was amazed to discover how much I had suppressed my knowledge of the downsides of British life. It didn't take me long to remember why I'd been so keen to go overseas in the first place! ......[Edit]

There is nothing radically wrong with the town where I grew up, my family and friends living there are happy and busy. I on the other hand have moved on, emotionally as well as physically, and while happy to visit would not want to go back to live. It would be a backward step in every sense of the word. Sometimes I think it is less about the place we leave, and more about how much we change with new experiences. T x

[Maybe]

..or decide to change w new experiences..? Comitting and choosing to change with the new experience..?

[Beckfield]

On 11/22/2017 at 18:02, Lady Tottington said:

 

So 4 weeks ago a job offer and today we waved good bye to our belongings as it travels the 12 week journey. I can't believe in 4 weeks, we have done so much but we are now rattling around an empty house, jobless, carless and furnitureless just waiting to board that Big Bird back to Blighty on Sunday.

Still got very mixed emotions, im tired and stressed but very very excited, thank you for all you that helped, guided and gave advice, hopefully I will be on here again next Spring (UK) letting you all know how fantastic, freezing Yorkshire is and this was the best decision in years!! Bon Voyage

Best of luck to you and your family Lady Tottington.  Can imagine the mixed emotions.  Please let us know how it goes and how you feel to be home.  

[bristolman]

2 hours ago, tea4too said:

There is nothing radically wrong with the town where I grew up, my family and friends living there are happy and busy. I on the other hand have moved on, emotionally as well as physically, and while happy to visit would not want to go back to live. It would be a backward step in every sense of the word. Sometimes I think it is less about the place we leave, and more about how much we change with new experiences. T x

 

Yes absolutely, I could not possibly go back to the town I grew up in, last time we visited I found it depressing but I see others comment on it in a positive way. I still have family there although all my other brothers have spread to other parts of Australia. I have many good memories of growing up there but no way could I go back. 

[Toots]

8 hours ago, bristolman said:

Yes absolutely, I could not possibly go back to the town I grew up in, last time we visited I found it depressing but I see others comment on it in a positive way. I still have family there although all my other brothers have spread to other parts of Australia. I have many good memories of growing up there but no way could I go back. 

I'm the opposite of you and tea4too.  I would go back to where I was brought up.  I suppose the difference is it isn't to a town but to the countryside.  I was brought up on a farm.  All my old friends back in the UK live in the countryside.  None of them live in a town or a village. 

[bristolman]

4 minutes ago, Toots said:

I'm the opposite of you and tea4too.  I would go back to where I was brought up.  I suppose the difference is it isn't to a town but to the countryside.  I was brought up on a farm.  All my old friends back in the UK live in the countryside.  None of them live in a town or a village. 

Yeah with me its a bit different, there us either the place I was born, Bristol, or where I grew up, Geelong. Neither appeals to me as somewhere to live. Most of our long term friends live in towns. 

[tea4too]

On 28 February 2018 at 10:58, Maybe said:

..or decide to change w new experiences..? Comitting and choosing to change with the new experience..?

The 'fake it 'til you make it' approach definitely seems to work for some, and maybe makes it more difficult to look back with positive emotions. But while we have a choice when it comes to our actions, it can be much harder to control how we feel. 

For me, putting down new roots and feeling part of the community means that home is here, and not the town I was raised.  Life is different, more rural (makes a difference @Toots !) and provides opportunities that I didn't get to enjoy before we relocated. However although I wouldn't choose to return to my home town, when I go back to visit family I can see that they are just as content and happy with their lives.  'Home is where the heart is' definitely has a ring of truth.  

[Marisawright]

On 2/28/2018 at 21:58, Maybe said:

..or decide to change w new experiences..? Comitting and choosing to change with the new experience..?

You can change your behaviour, but you can't change your feelings.   I was watching a video only yesterday from a psychologist, talking about how harmful "positive thinking" can be, if it means suppressing your true feelings and forcing yourself to pretend to be happy.  Very damaging, apparently.

Edited March 1, 2018 by Marisawright

[Quoll]

9 hours ago, Marisawright said:

You can change your behaviour, but you can't change your feelings.   I was watching a video only yesterday from a psychologist, talking about how harmful "positive thinking" can be, if it means suppressing your true feelings and forcing yourself to pretend to be happy.  Very damaging, apparently.

I guess that might be a matter of perspective - it’s a survival strategy of sorts. I know some psychologists who string people along for years wallowing around in their feelings week after week - that doesn’t make them feel better either during or at the end of the process but the psychologist makes a motza (one I know thought she was doing a fabulous job with someone seeing them once a week for over 2 years at $100 a pop!).  Some strategies work better for some and not for others and some folks’ mental health is so totally screwed that they need more than a bog standard psychologist could possibly deliver. I will say that CBT - with a host more strategies than FITYMI was a life saver for me, otherwise I could have descended quite (un)happily into wrist slitting territory. 

As for returning to the place you came from (further up) - I have but I didn’t think of it as going home, I viewed it as moving on to a new place and had to work just as hard to get back into it as if it were a new place. That’s worked pretty well but I am lucky that home is Cambridge, it’s a fabulous place to live.

[Home and Happy]

On ‎14‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 03:12, Maybe said:

Hi 

Reading w interest posts about returning to the uk - we have just arrived - but stupidly I feel it is a big mistake - I am thinking of returning to the UK within year - did anyone else feel it was a mistake from early on  - and would they advice to stay on see it through - or return back as soon as possible ( see it as a year out) I am thinking the latter my children are 9, 12 & 14 ...??

Yes we did feel it was a HUGE mistake quite soon after arrival.   It was kind of fun for a few weeks after arriving, checking out all the very limited places of interest but the isolation & lack of variety in pretty much everything out there kicked in very shortly after. It  got to us in the end and we got out of that place while we could.  Life pretty much began again when we got back home to Britain.  You are seriously cutting yourself off from the world when you go away out there.  However, you need to try it yourself. Nothing can prepare you for living in Australia, being stuck in the same place day in day out and not being able to travel anywhere.  Day to day it is humdrum at the very best, very impersonal, totally zero community feel... mostly made up of a large transient migrant and interstate aussie population.  I totally get why young married couples raising small kids and old retired folk love the whole slowness of the place.  For us it was a big life lesson as to just how good we actually had it back home in Britain and all the good things we left behind.

Edited March 2, 2018 by Home and Happy

[MARYROSE02]

On 14/02/2018 at 14:12, Maybe said:

Hi 

Reading w interest posts about returning to the uk - we have just arrived - but stupidly I feel it is a big mistake - I am thinking of returning to the UK within year - did anyone else feel it was a mistake from early on  - and would they advice to stay on see it through - or return back as soon as possible ( see it as a year out) I am thinking the latter my children are 9, 12 & 14 ...??

It often takes a while to settle into a new place. It would probably be the same if you moved to a different part of the UK, say in my case, from Hampshire where I was brought up to Newcastle-upon-Tyne where I was born (in South Shields). People from other parts of the UK are actually more "alien" to me than Aussies!

Give it a few months, see how your kids settle into school and you might settle yourself. There's no right or wrong decision though.

 

 

 

 

 

[Maybe]

On 03/03/2018 at 03:26, Home and Happy said:

Yes we did feel it was a HUGE mistake quite soon after arrival.   It was kind of fun for a few weeks after arriving, checking out all the very limited places of interest but the isolation & lack of variety in pretty much everything out there kicked in very shortly after. It  got to us in the end and we got out of that place while we could.  Life pretty much began again when we got back home to Britain.  You are seriously cutting yourself off from the world when you go away out there.  However, you need to try it yourself. Nothing can prepare you for living in Australia, being stuck in the same place day in day out and not being able to travel anywhere.  Day to day it is humdrum at the very best, very impersonal, totally zero community feel... mostly made up of a large transient migrant and interstate aussie population.  I totally get why young married couples raising small kids and old retired folk love the whole slowness of the place.  For us it was a big life lesson as to just how good we actually had it back home in Britain and all the good things we left behind.

Thanks for input - could I ask how long you stayed in Australia before returning back ?

[Toots]

On 03/03/2018 at 04:26, Home and Happy said:

Yes we did feel it was a HUGE mistake quite soon after arrival.   It was kind of fun for a few weeks after arriving, checking out all the very limited places of interest but the isolation & lack of variety in pretty much everything out there kicked in very shortly after. It  got to us in the end and we got out of that place while we could.  Life pretty much began again when we got back home to Britain.  You are seriously cutting yourself off from the world when you go away out there.  However, you need to try it yourself. Nothing can prepare you for living in Australia, being stuck in the same place day in day out and not being able to travel anywhere.  Day to day it is humdrum at the very best, very impersonal, totally zero community feel... mostly made up of a large transient migrant and interstate aussie population.  I totally get why young married couples raising small kids and old retired folk love the whole slowness of the place.  For us it was a big life lesson as to just how good we actually had it back home in Britain and all the good things we left behind.

Where did you live?  It's not like that at all where I live.  I can understand why you decided to move back though.  Sounds awful.

[Guest]

42 minutes ago, Maybe said:

Thanks for input - could I ask how long you stayed in Australia before returning back ?

Home and Happy have made a number of posts that would give you more background on their dislike of Aus and the reasons for it. Click on their name and you should go to their profile page and can view their posts  

[simmo]

On 3/2/2018 at 17:26, Home and Happy said:

Yes we did feel it was a HUGE mistake quite soon after arrival.   It was kind of fun for a few weeks after arriving, checking out all the very limited places of interest but the isolation & lack of variety in pretty much everything out there kicked in very shortly after. It  got to us in the end and we got out of that place while we could.  Life pretty much began again when we got back home to Britain.  You are seriously cutting yourself off from the world when you go away out there.  However, you need to try it yourself. Nothing can prepare you for living in Australia, being stuck in the same place day in day out and not being able to travel anywhere.  Day to day it is humdrum at the very best, very impersonal, totally zero community feel... mostly made up of a large transient migrant and interstate aussie population.  I totally get why young married couples raising small kids and old retired folk love the whole slowness of the place.  For us it was a big life lesson as to just how good we actually had it back home in Britain and all the good things we left behind.

I could have written that myself. (albeit with more spelling and punctuation errors)

where is Aus where you?

Edited March 4, 2018 by simmo

[Marisawright]

9 hours ago, snifter said:

Home and Happy have made a number of posts that would give you more background on their dislike of Aus and the reasons for it. Click on their name and you should go to their profile page and can view their posts  

Yes, they've said they came to Australia for an adventure because it was cheap and easy to do at the time. But they also said they decided they disliked it "quite soon after their arrival" -  yet for some reason they stayed for years and years?

Edited March 4, 2018 by Marisawright

[Johndoe]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

Yes, they've said they came to Australia for an adventure because it was cheap and easy to do at the time. But they also said they decided they disliked it "quite soon after their arrival" -  yet for some reason they stayed for years and years?

It's a peculiar trait of many people that they can't "hold their hands up" and admit that it's they who "don't fit". Somewhat like teenage angst...............we've all seen it in the movies where some goth rocks up to a teenage party held by the average run of the mill "straight" kid, and ends up sitting outside drowning their sorrows in a bottle proclaiming to a similar (feeling) disenfranchised outsider that "the world is fecked up" They never once consider that it may well be they who are fecked up.................they don't fit because of who/what they are.

All well and good to be different, but it's another thing to claim that it's the others who are to blame for their disenfranchisement......................."I did my best to fit in" "I feel out of place" blahdy blahdy blah..................OK, perhaps you did, perhaps you had bad experiences/bad neighbourhood...........whatever? But........................I get sick and tired (one of the reasons I went "inactive" of the inference that those who do fit, those who are enjoying the party and not sitting on the lawn crying in their beer, or looking for a way out of the neighbourhood, are in some way "brain dead" and are prepared to deny that their experience is one similar to the "outsider" and stick to Oz rather than admit they've made a mistake in emigrating.

The fact of the matter is that we're not blind, we do see, and what we see is entirely different to that which you claim to see/experience, either because you have experienced it in your tiny little parochial experience of Oz, (and I regret that is possible) or that you convince yourself that you have experienced  it, when in fact, it's just something you use to justify why you wish to return to the UK

Quite simply, I've yet to see any returnee declare that it was their own personality, misconceptions, or lack of research that brought about their return to the UK. Miss family, tried my best but didn't fit, Australian friendships are transient, can't make friends, miserable heat and humidity, lack of double glazing in winter, crap sausages, no Robinsons Lemon Barley Water, If you've seen one beach you've seen 'em all, the landscape is the same everywhere etc etc etc (as Yul Bryner once said - God Bless him).

All the above is reinforced by the people who have been back in the UK for years but still feel it is their duty to "warn" others of just how dire it is living in Oz and how wonderful living in the UK is, when in fact, they are on PIO most any hour of the day/night. Why? Because psychologically it reinforces their decision to return. They have to justify why they did what they did? That it wasn't their fault it didn't work out, it was Oz to blame. But do they have to justify? If they're so sure what they did was right, why then don't they just move on with theirr life rather than spend so much of that wonderful life on PIO? OH! I get it! They're all really nice altruistic people sacrificing their time to help/ convince/ justify to others that it's Australia and Australians to blame for their disappointments.

Australia/Australians aren't perfect, more imperfect like most people, they're just different to Poms. What they don't do is let difference divide them, contrary to what some posters have said about their perceptions of racism in Oz, it is no more or no less than it is in the uk and what does exist is mainly amongst the lower socio economic class..............I'll correct that, I believe it is less. Because it is less, then when a racist occurrence rears it's head in the workplace/street/media/wherever it seems more "blatant" or "pronounced" for want of better words. I have Chinese on one side of my house, Sudanese on the other, a Saffa and an Italian across the road. We all chat and get on together.....even the Saffa with the Sudanese. I have never yet, in 23 years in Oz heard the word "pakki" pronounced by anyone other than Poms.

Forgive my diatribe but it saddens me to see that the same old, same old is still going on in PIO. Love UK or Love Oz, it doesn't matter, I love both and have no need to bull up Oz at the expense of the UK as some do. Just try and stop all these false/slanted/biased justifications for your decisions, just accept that it wasn't for you, and move on,

[ramot]

9 hours ago, Johndoe said:

It's a peculiar trait of many people that they can't "hold their hands up" and admit that it's they who "don't fit". Somewhat like teenage angst...............we've all seen it in the movies where some goth rocks up to a teenage party held by the average run of the mill "straight" kid, and ends up sitting outside drowning their sorrows in a bottle proclaiming to a similar (feeling) disenfranchised outsider that "the world is fecked up" They never once consider that it may well be they who are fecked up.................they don't fit because of who/what they are.

All well and good to be different, but it's another thing to claim that it's the others who are to blame for their disenfranchisement......................."I did my best to fit in" "I feel out of place" blahdy blahdy blah..................OK, perhaps you did, perhaps you had bad experiences/bad neighbourhood...........whatever? But........................I get sick and tired (one of the reasons I went "inactive" of the inference that those who do fit, those who are enjoying the party and not sitting on the lawn crying in their beer, or looking for a way out of the neighbourhood, are in some way "brain dead" and are prepared to deny that their experience is one similar to the "outsider" and stick to Oz rather than admit they've made a mistake in emigrating.

The fact of the matter is that we're not blind, we do see, and what we see is entirely different to that which you claim to see/experience, either because you have experienced it in your tiny little parochial experience of Oz, (and I regret that is possible) or that you convince yourself that you have experienced  it, when in fact, it's just something you use to justify why you wish to return to the UK

Quite simply, I've yet to see any returnee declare that it was their own personality, misconceptions, or lack of research that brought about their return to the UK. Miss family, tried my best but didn't fit, Australian friendships are transient, can't make friends, miserable heat and humidity, lack of double glazing in winter, crap sausages, no Robinsons Lemon Barley Water, If you've seen one beach you've seen 'em all, the landscape is the same everywhere etc etc etc (as Yul Bryner once said - God Bless him).

All the above is reinforced by the people who have been back in the UK for years but still feel it is their duty to "warn" others of just how dire it is living in Oz and how wonderful living in the UK is, when in fact, they are on PIO most any hour of the day/night. Why? Because psychologically it reinforces their decision to return. They have to justify why they did what they did? That it wasn't their fault it didn't work out, it was Oz to blame. But do they have to justify? If they're so sure what they did was right, why then don't they just move on with theirr life rather than spend so much of that wonderful life on PIO? OH! I get it! They're all really nice altruistic people sacrificing their time to help/ convince/ justify to others that it's Australia and Australians to blame for their disappointments.

Australia/Australians aren't perfect, more imperfect like most people, they're just different to Poms. What they don't do is let difference divide them, contrary to what some posters have said about their perceptions of racism in Oz, it is no more or no less than it is in the uk and what does exist is mainly amongst the lower socio economic class..............I'll correct that, I believe it is less. Because it is less, then when a racist occurrence rears it's head in the workplace/street/media/wherever it seems more "blatant" or "pronounced" for want of better words. I have Chinese on one side of my house, Sudanese on the other, a Saffa and an Italian across the road. We all chat and get on together.....even the Saffa with the Sudanese. I have never yet, in 23 years in Oz heard the word "pakki" pronounced by anyone other than Poms.

Forgive my diatribe but it saddens me to see that the same old, same old is still going on in PIO. Love UK or Love Oz, it doesn't matter, I love both and have no need to bull up Oz at the expense of the UK as some do. Just try and stop all these false/slanted/biased justifications for your decisions, just accept that it wasn't for you, and move on,

Love it JD, as a long term poster my eyes glaze over when I see the same old posters posting year after year the same old how awful my life in Oz was against my fantastic life in UK.  Honestly no one objects to useful advice, posted to help people considering a move in either direction, but best keep it realistic, no where is perfect, no one place suits every one thank goodness.

[Toots]

9 hours ago, Johndoe said:

It's a peculiar trait of many people that they can't "hold their hands up" and admit that it's they who "don't fit". Somewhat like teenage angst...............we've all seen it in the movies where some goth rocks up to a teenage party held by the average run of the mill "straight" kid, and ends up sitting outside drowning their sorrows in a bottle proclaiming to a similar (feeling) disenfranchised outsider that "the world is fecked up" They never once consider that it may well be they who are fecked up.................they don't fit because of who/what they are.

All well and good to be different, but it's another thing to claim that it's the others who are to blame for their disenfranchisement......................."I did my best to fit in" "I feel out of place" blahdy blahdy blah..................OK, perhaps you did, perhaps you had bad experiences/bad neighbourhood...........whatever? But........................I get sick and tired (one of the reasons I went "inactive" of the inference that those who do fit, those who are enjoying the party and not sitting on the lawn crying in their beer, or looking for a way out of the neighbourhood, are in some way "brain dead" and are prepared to deny that their experience is one similar to the "outsider" and stick to Oz rather than admit they've made a mistake in emigrating.

The fact of the matter is that we're not blind, we do see, and what we see is entirely different to that which you claim to see/experience, either because you have experienced it in your tiny little parochial experience of Oz, (and I regret that is possible) or that you convince yourself that you have experienced  it, when in fact, it's just something you use to justify why you wish to return to the UK

Quite simply, I've yet to see any returnee declare that it was their own personality, misconceptions, or lack of research that brought about their return to the UK. Miss family, tried my best but didn't fit, Australian friendships are transient, can't make friends, miserable heat and humidity, lack of double glazing in winter, crap sausages, no Robinsons Lemon Barley Water, If you've seen one beach you've seen 'em all, the landscape is the same everywhere etc etc etc (as Yul Bryner once said - God Bless him).

All the above is reinforced by the people who have been back in the UK for years but still feel it is their duty to "warn" others of just how dire it is living in Oz and how wonderful living in the UK is, when in fact, they are on PIO most any hour of the day/night. Why? Because psychologically it reinforces their decision to return. They have to justify why they did what they did? That it wasn't their fault it didn't work out, it was Oz to blame. But do they have to justify? If they're so sure what they did was right, why then don't they just move on with theirr life rather than spend so much of that wonderful life on PIO? OH! I get it! They're all really nice altruistic people sacrificing their time to help/ convince/ justify to others that it's Australia and Australians to blame for their disappointments.

Australia/Australians aren't perfect, more imperfect like most people, they're just different to Poms. What they don't do is let difference divide them, contrary to what some posters have said about their perceptions of racism in Oz, it is no more or no less than it is in the uk and what does exist is mainly amongst the lower socio economic class..............I'll correct that, I believe it is less. Because it is less, then when a racist occurrence rears it's head in the workplace/street/media/wherever it seems more "blatant" or "pronounced" for want of better words. I have Chinese on one side of my house, Sudanese on the other, a Saffa and an Italian across the road. We all chat and get on together.....even the Saffa with the Sudanese. I have never yet, in 23 years in Oz heard the word "pakki" pronounced by anyone other than Poms.

Forgive my diatribe but it saddens me to see that the same old, same old is still going on in PIO. Love UK or Love Oz, it doesn't matter, I love both and have no need to bull up Oz at the expense of the UK as some do. Just try and stop all these false/slanted/biased justifications for your decisions, just accept that it wasn't for you, and move on,

 

[wattsy1982]

9 hours ago, Johndoe said:

It's a peculiar trait of many people that they can't "hold their hands up" and admit that it's they who "don't fit". Somewhat like teenage angst...............we've all seen it in the movies where some goth rocks up to a teenage party held by the average run of the mill "straight" kid, and ends up sitting outside drowning their sorrows in a bottle proclaiming to a similar (feeling) disenfranchised outsider that "the world is fecked up" They never once consider that it may well be they who are fecked up.................they don't fit because of who/what they are.

All well and good to be different, but it's another thing to claim that it's the others who are to blame for their disenfranchisement......................."I did my best to fit in" "I feel out of place" blahdy blahdy blah..................OK, perhaps you did, perhaps you had bad experiences/bad neighbourhood...........whatever? But........................I get sick and tired (one of the reasons I went "inactive" of the inference that those who do fit, those who are enjoying the party and not sitting on the lawn crying in their beer, or looking for a way out of the neighbourhood, are in some way "brain dead" and are prepared to deny that their experience is one similar to the "outsider" and stick to Oz rather than admit they've made a mistake in emigrating.

The fact of the matter is that we're not blind, we do see, and what we see is entirely different to that which you claim to see/experience, either because you have experienced it in your tiny little parochial experience of Oz, (and I regret that is possible) or that you convince yourself that you have experienced  it, when in fact, it's just something you use to justify why you wish to return to the UK

Quite simply, I've yet to see any returnee declare that it was their own personality, misconceptions, or lack of research that brought about their return to the UK. Miss family, tried my best but didn't fit, Australian friendships are transient, can't make friends, miserable heat and humidity, lack of double glazing in winter, crap sausages, no Robinsons Lemon Barley Water, If you've seen one beach you've seen 'em all, the landscape is the same everywhere etc etc etc (as Yul Bryner once said - God Bless him).

All the above is reinforced by the people who have been back in the UK for years but still feel it is their duty to "warn" others of just how dire it is living in Oz and how wonderful living in the UK is, when in fact, they are on PIO most any hour of the day/night. Why? Because psychologically it reinforces their decision to return. They have to justify why they did what they did? That it wasn't their fault it didn't work out, it was Oz to blame. But do they have to justify? If they're so sure what they did was right, why then don't they just move on with theirr life rather than spend so much of that wonderful life on PIO? OH! I get it! They're all really nice altruistic people sacrificing their time to help/ convince/ justify to others that it's Australia and Australians to blame for their disappointments.

Australia/Australians aren't perfect, more imperfect like most people, they're just different to Poms. What they don't do is let difference divide them, contrary to what some posters have said about their perceptions of racism in Oz, it is no more or no less than it is in the uk and what does exist is mainly amongst the lower socio economic class..............I'll correct that, I believe it is less. Because it is less, then when a racist occurrence rears it's head in the workplace/street/media/wherever it seems more "blatant" or "pronounced" for want of better words. I have Chinese on one side of my house, Sudanese on the other, a Saffa and an Italian across the road. We all chat and get on together.....even the Saffa with the Sudanese. I have never yet, in 23 years in Oz heard the word "pakki" pronounced by anyone other than Poms.

Forgive my diatribe but it saddens me to see that the same old, same old is still going on in PIO. Love UK or Love Oz, it doesn't matter, I love both and have no need to bull up Oz at the expense of the UK as some do. Just try and stop all these false/slanted/biased justifications for your decisions, just accept that it wasn't for you, and move on,

But surely the same could be said for those who love Aus and keep contradicting those who say otherwise. Why can't they just 'move on' 

The UK lovers can't tell people that they are right and vice versa...everyone is right as its what THEY feel...and THEY are speaking about THEIR experiences and how THEY see things....everyone is right if they say how THEY feel as its based on THEIR experiences.

I personally don't understand why people who love Aus feel the need to be in the 'moving back to the uk' section nor why do people who dislike Aus look in other totally irrelevant forums and then BOTH parties get annoyed when comments/threads in the forum DONT match their opinions...SHOCK!

As long as everyone is happy with the choices THEY made I don't see why others need to try and question them and make them feel bad/justifiable...stick to your own life.

The way I see people who try to 'warn' others against moving (in either direction) is that they have truly experienced something bad and feel so passionstaie about it that they just want to help people to try and see both sides of the argument....But then like someone else said on here...we don't truly appreciate/understand things until we've experienced them ourselves, no matter how much advice etc they received.

Their is no right or wrong answer (other than what has affected/happened to you) and everyone should just stick to their own lives!