How do you succeed in your new life in Australia?

[northernbird]

Well I wanted nice weather for starters ! Niaeve I may of been but hey we all human ! And also jobs yes research we did on the job front ! ! It's that things to a down turn as we arrived ! my oh has the skills they need here that is not my issue my issue is how it's been ! So when u spent thousands of dollars pig arsing around for a job when I know it was good in UK I'm thinking what the hell have I done wouldn't anybody ! He's earned a lot of money but we've not seen it for the cost of moving around just for a job ! ! Even the ozzies know if FEED isn't busy then it's going create a knock on effect ! My oh can work in Australia at skill level one has all the desired skills ! So what research didn't we do what is the problem tell me because I'm gob smacked this has happened ! You work so hard in UK get where u wanna be fancy a change nothing wrong with that ! And it's **** from the minute u arrive basically ! Although coming through it now but 3 sodding yrs of ploughing money in it to make it work ! I'm not the bank of pigging England

 

My ex husband is in oil and gas and is currently working overseas and has been for 4 years now. The oil and gas situation the world over is pretty dire at the moment and according to my ex is unlikely to improve in the short term.

[Shellybingobingo]

I am actually going to put a disclaimer after every post I make in future. ( This post is not in anyway pointed or geared to anyone in particular, any similarity to anyone's personal situation is in their head not mine ) This is getting frikin tedious.

That wasn't aimed at u niether I must of been typing as u posted ! So my apologies qss

[Shellybingobingo]

My ex husband is in oil and gas and is currently working overseas and has been for 4 years now. The oil and gas situation the world over is pretty dire at the moment and according to my ex is unlikely to improve in the short term.

 

 

Yes I know I carny explain so no point me trying it will come out wrong if I tried lol

[northernbird]

Yes I know I carny explain so no point me trying it will come out wrong if I tried lol

 

Not sure what you mean but I was just sharing some information. I was an oil and gas wife for over 20 years and this is the worst it has ever been IMO.

[Shellybingobingo]

Not sure what you mean but I was just sharing some information. I was an oil and gas wife for over 20 years and this is the worst it has ever been IMO.

 

Yes I know u were ! Not being awkward or nothing with u lol I just carny explain without it sounding wrong lol

[Quoll]

I think the ones who make a go are those who see it as another life adventure and once they arrive don't distinguish between the "them" and "us" and don't expect it to be Britain with constant sunshine; they accept that it's a foreign country on the other side of the world. Although it latterly did not float my boat (darn near sank it, in fact) for 20 years it was fine because it was still an adventure. We did well, the kids grew up ok (not with the magical advantages that many new migrants will expect to miraculously appear as soon as they get off the plane), we are reasonably comfortable in our old age (because we worked our socks off to get there) and expected nothing of anyone else in the process. It was only when it became a jail that the wheels fell off (and before anyone jumps on me to say I was free to leave, well, yes, but at a cost I was not prepared to pay - "people first, then money, then things" (thanks Suze Orman!))

 

When we were in Australia, I rarely said anything derogatory to the people in my real life (it wasn't until I met PiO that I realized I wasn't bonkers for not belonging there and for hanging out to live where I did belong) but just got on with it the best I could. At first it was a doddle - nice adventure, things went ok - but there is no rationale for not belonging despite all rational thought to the contrary.

 

If if you're hooked on UK products, can't go a day without talking to mum, sisters and a gazillion lifelong friends, only watch UK tv, rely on others to babysit, go on holiday with etc and have only the one topic of whingeing about the weather then you're going to find Australia very hard. I think the communication modes that seem essential in many younger lives actually make it harder than when we moved in 1979 - constantly picking at the scab of the life you left behind must be awful for those who struggle with the adventure. I agree with the post above, there are some who telegraph disaster before they even set foot in Aus just because of their expectations.

 

I know people on PiO think I'm one of the "failures" but I think I was actually one of the successes - 20+ yrs of "yup this is good, I'm having fun, we are doing ok" (more than most on here who are still in adventure mode). Whilst the reason for our current residence is my very elderly parents, I do wonder if the last few years in Aus might have been less noxious had I had no elderly parents in UK to worry about - possibly, but not entirely I suspect. The not belonging had its claws in right from the start when the parents weren't an issue. Even having one son here (and now grandson) wasn't an issue as we are living now with one son and 2 granddaughters in Aus so they aren't pulling us either.

 

Of my friends, I find, coincidentally, that most are long term expats like myself - just a natural gravitation I suspect, their background wasn't the issue when we became acquainted. All bar one of them would give their eye teeth to live back in UK again (and the one that wouldn't, came from Manchester and left in a snow storm in the late 60s) and all have annual trips back when they can afford it. All of them have been there 30+ years and would be "successes" in anyone's book.

 

Its an interesting question though. Who knows what the magic answer is?! I suspect at the core there may be that sense of "I have the freedom to move if I don't like it"

[JockinTas]

I think the ones who make a go are those who see it as another life adventure and once they arrive don't distinguish between the "them" and "us" and don't expect it to be Britain with constant sunshine; they accept that it's a foreign country on the other side of the world. Although it latterly did not float my boat (darn near sank it, in fact) for 20 years it was fine because it was still an adventure. We did well, the kids grew up ok (not with the magical advantages that many new migrants will expect to miraculously appear as soon as they get off the plane), we are reasonably comfortable in our old age (because we worked our socks off to get there) and expected nothing of anyone else in the process. It was only when it became a jail that the wheels fell off (and before anyone jumps on me to say I was free to leave, well, yes, but at a cost I was not prepared to pay - "people first, then money, then things" (thanks Suze Orman!))

 

When we were in Australia, I rarely said anything derogatory to the people in my real life (it wasn't until I met PiO that I realized I wasn't bonkers for not belonging there and for hanging out to live where I did belong) but just got on with it the best I could. At first it was a doddle - nice adventure, things went ok - but there is no rationale for not belonging despite all rational thought to the contrary.

 

If if you're hooked on UK products, can't go a day without talking to mum, sisters and a gazillion lifelong friends, only watch UK tv, rely on others to babysit, go on holiday with etc and have only the one topic of whingeing about the weather then you're going to find Australia very hard. I think the communication modes that seem essential in many younger lives actually make it harder than when we moved in 1979 - constantly picking at the scab of the life you left behind must be awful for those who struggle with the adventure. I agree with the post above, there are some who telegraph disaster before they even set foot in Aus just because of their expectations.

 

I know people on PiO think I'm one of the "failures" but I think I was actually one of the successes - 20+ yrs of "yup this is good, I'm having fun, we are doing ok" (more than most on here who are still in adventure mode). Whilst the reason for our current residence is my very elderly parents, I do wonder if the last few years in Aus might have been less noxious had I had no elderly parents in UK to worry about - possibly, but not entirely I suspect. The not belonging had its claws in right from the start when the parents weren't an issue. Even having one son here (and now grandson) wasn't an issue as we are living now with one son and 2 granddaughters in Aus so they aren't pulling us either.

 

Of my friends, I find, coincidentally, that most are long term expats like myself - just a natural gravitation I suspect, their background wasn't the issue when we became acquainted. All bar one of them would give their eye teeth to live back in UK again (and the one that wouldn't, came from Manchester and left in a snow storm in the late 60s) and all have annual trips back when they can afford it. All of them have been there 30+ years and would be "successes" in anyone's book.

 

Its an interesting question though. Who knows what the magic answer is?! I suspect at the core there may be that sense of "I have the freedom to move if I don't like it"

 

Terrific post Quoll!! :smile:

[Zack]

Personally I think your post is a load of crap! If Some Obnoxious Aussie that thinks He/She Knows it all.And there's plenty of anti Poms Around.And Has A go at Britain . me or my family i'll retaliate. If you think Poms have to lay low and say nothing, you are miss guided.The Aussies Whinge, just as much as the Poms do.If not More.And that's a fact,it's a myth this Whingeing Pom Thing.The Aussies Love to Latch Onto some Slogan,about ALL Natoinals.They never stop Whingeing. They want the Government to Spoon feed them from the cradle to the grave. If a Pom Says Anything about Australia even in a simple conversation at a party,Some arshole will say,Well why don't u go back if you don't like it. Well I Tell Them to Go Back to where their Parents or Grandparents come from.

According to your rant poms are not allowed to have a opinion It's whingeing.Not allowed to compare.It's whingeing, and say nothing. Be Submissive. If you want to get on In Australia.What Crap Your Post made me nauseous

[Suzukiscottie]

Oh, the irony!

[Shellybingobingo]

Ya carny get on if there's not much work around anyway ! people don't come here just to say I know I'll have a whinge today ! These people r old people no doubt probably retired saying how comfortable they r in oz also them that come a while ago hit the boom not the case now ! not so easy ! ! I wonder how many would tell people what they want to hear if they were worried about jobs or didn't have one ! It would be boot on the other foot !

[bristolman]

Personally I think your post is a load of crap! If Some Obnoxious Aussie that thinks He/She Knows it all.And there's plenty of anti Poms Around.And Has A go at Britain . me or my family i'll retaliate. If you think Poms have to lay low and say nothing, you are miss guided.The Aussies Whinge, just as much as the Poms do.If not More.And that's a fact,it's a myth this Whingeing Pom Thing.The Aussies Love to Latch Onto some Slogan,about ALL Natoinals.They never stop Whingeing. They want the Government to Spoon feed them from the cradle to the grave. If a Pom Says Anything about Australia even in a simple conversation at a party,Some arshole will say,Well why don't u go back if you don't like it. Well I Tell Them to Go Back to where their Parents or Grandparents come from.

According to your rant poms are not allowed to have a opinion It's whingeing.Not allowed to compare.It's whingeing, and say nothing. Be Submissive. If you want to get on In Australia.What Crap Your Post made me nauseous

 

I don't usually agree with your rants but there is an element of truth in what you say. When Aussies come here many of them whinge endlessly about this country how nothing is as good as back home, well ffff off back home then. Aussies love world champions, well they would be right at the top when it comes to whinging.

[VERYSTORMY]

It's not 'rocket science!' (Apologies for the cliche!) Just do what you do in the UK or any other country. Unless you are a 'whinger' of course, especially that most hated of complainers, a 'Whingeing Pommie!'

 

How do you know when a new plane load of Poms has just arrived in Australia? You can still hear a 'whine' after the engines have turned off. 'Ooh, I don't like it here. It's too hot. The television is crap. They don't know how to drive. Call this beer? Why don't they play 'real' football?" Makes me nauseous just thinking about them!

 

Use me as an example if you like. The least likely person to succeed in his new life in Australia. I'd never lived away from home before, apart from three disastrous and drunken months in Norwich at the age of nineteen. But, I stuck it out, got through the hard times, and there were a few, to be honest.

 

The thing to remember is that 'Aussies' are not different to 'us.' I know that, and most of us know that. We would not have made this insane commitment to uproot our lives and travel to the other end of the world if we didn't.

 

The statistics 'prove' (just like they prove that smoking is bad for you, hence the higher premiums for smokers) that most people from Britain make a success of their move to Australia.

 

The moral of the story is: Don't listen to the whingers and don't become one of them yourself, and worst of all, don't give up and go home! Come to think of it, there is an even 'worst' than that; you spend your life posting on Poms In Oz trying to discourage other 'New Chums' from making a new life in Australia!? Remember. They want you to fail! Don't listen to them!

 

 

One me of a poorest posts to hit the forum for a fair while.

 

1. Have lived all over the world and find Aussies are some of the biggest wingers.

2. There is no succeed / not succeed. A place suits some and not other depending on individual circumstances.

3. The stats prove more Brits stay than leave. (Though not for every nationality). It does not mean they have been a success. As a long term member, is it just selective memory that permits you to ignore many posts over the years from people who want to leave but can't?

4. So, you would say people should only listen to those with a large shade of rose in their posts? What of those planning on moving for reasons that really don't exist? Would you be happy to personally pay for these mistakes out of your own pocket?

5. "Done give up". Why? If someone doesn't like it or find it isn't what they hoped, then the right thing to do is leave.

[Shellybingobingo]

I've decided people just get on my tits full stop .

 

Think ill ill update in twelve month when I've decided what I'm doing .

[Bungo]

I guess as I returned to the UK this year, that I am not a successful migrant. But I never felt unsuccessful and I still don't, although it is true that we returned to the UK, so hard to say otherwise.

 

Some very good points on here, I have also never met a migrant in real life that is unhappy being in Australia and wants to leave. We didn't want to leave as such, we were perfectly happy, it was a decision we made based upon circumstances at this point in time. We might do another stint over there at a later date. We have settled back into life very easily here, but I miss Australia as well.

 

When we were in Australia, we never referred to the UK as home, it was "the UK". If we made a trip back to the UK, Aussies might sometimes refer to it as "going to/ visiting home" and we would correct them. I certainly would never moan or complain about Australia in front of Aussies, that is just rude for a start. Maybe the only time I would do that is if somebody made a comment on rain in the UK, after suffering incessant rain through La Nina in my first couple of years that is about the only thing that would get short shrift from me!

[amibovered]

Nobody can define what constitutes success for another person, certainly nobody posting on here has the right to decide what makes a successful migrant.

[Johndoe]

Personally I think your post is a load of crap! If Some Obnoxious Aussie that thinks He/She Knows it all.And there's plenty of anti Poms Around.And Has A go at Britain . me or my family i'll retaliate. If you think Poms have to lay low and say nothing, you are miss guided.The Aussies Whinge, just as much as the Poms do.If not More.And that's a fact,it's a myth this Whingeing Pom Thing.The Aussies Love to Latch Onto some Slogan,about ALL Natoinals.They never stop Whingeing. They want the Government to Spoon feed them from the cradle to the grave. If a Pom Says Anything about Australia even in a simple conversation at a party,Some arshole will say,Well why don't u go back if you don't like it. Well I Tell Them to Go Back to where their Parents or Grandparents come from.

According to your rant poms are not allowed to have a opinion It's whingeing.Not allowed to compare.It's whingeing, and say nothing. Be Submissive. If you want to get on In Australia.What Crap Your Post made me nauseous

 

And your post is a response to whom? You could whinge for the Olympics, for either country, depending which way the wind blows through your shreddies at the time.

[Marisawright]

If if you're hooked on UK products, can't go a day without talking to mum, sisters and a gazillion lifelong friends, only watch UK tv, rely on others to babysit, go on holiday with etc and have only the one topic of whingeing about the weather then you're going to find Australia very hard.

 

I think that's so true. I was never that close to family - I already lived at the other end of the UK from them - so it wasn't a big wrench for me to come to Australia. And when I moved over 30 years ago, there simply wasn't the option to watch UK TV and no way to get British products, so I just had to start living like an Australian. I think that made it easier.

[Marisawright]

You can spot the people who are going to struggle almost immediately, some even before they leave Australia. ( Should we bring Marmite? Heinz Baked Beans ? )

 

So true, and that's why I feel MaryRose02 is being unfair in having a go at the "naysayers". Sure, there's a few posters here who are bitter and twisted, but there are also people who MaryRose might see as negative, but in fact they're just being realistic. When you see someone who's obviously got unrealistic expectations, or who is already worried sick about missing family and trying to persuade themselves it'll be OK, surely it's sensible for those who've been through it to offer advice.

[JockinTas]

Personally I think your post is a load of crap! If Some Obnoxious Aussie that thinks He/She Knows it all.And there's plenty of anti Poms Around.And Has A go at Britain . me or my family i'll retaliate. If you think Poms have to lay low and say nothing, you are miss guided.The Aussies Whinge, just as much as the Poms do.If not More.And that's a fact,it's a myth this Whingeing Pom Thing.The Aussies Love to Latch Onto some Slogan,about ALL Natoinals.They never stop Whingeing. They want the Government to Spoon feed them from the cradle to the grave. If a Pom Says Anything about Australia even in a simple conversation at a party,Some arshole will say,Well why don't u go back if you don't like it. Well I Tell Them to Go Back to where their Parents or Grandparents come from.

According to your rant poms are not allowed to have a opinion It's whingeing.Not allowed to compare.It's whingeing, and say nothing. Be Submissive. If you want to get on In Australia.What Crap Your Post made me nauseous

 

Gee Zack, you must mix with some very odd people. Bogans by the sound of it. I have never had anyone say to me "why don't you go back if you don't like it" or any other so called anti Pom remarks.

 

The sooner you manage to return to England the happier you will be. All those years you have lived in Australia - it must have been a living hell for you. Why you didn't stay in England when you had the chance a while back when you gave it a try is beyond me. Oh, I forgot. You weren't happy their either :eek:

[Que Sera Sera]

So true, and that's why I feel MaryRose02 is being unfair in having a go at the "naysayers". Sure, there's a few posters here who are bitter and twisted, but there are also people who MaryRose might see as negative, but in fact they're just being realistic. When you see someone who's obviously got unrealistic expectations, or who is already worried sick about missing family and trying to persuade themselves it'll be OK, surely it's sensible for those who've been through it to offer advice.

 

Yes I can see that some people are genuinely trying to help, sometimes we all get caught up in what has been right for us we forget it's not about us. I just remember how if I'd listened to a few who ( years on ) are still here on this forum saying how awful it was here and how we'd starve and be homeless , we would have not come and the last 5 years wouldn't have happened. Luckily some lovely people who'd made the move just before @HappyHeart you know who you are and others unfortunately no longer on here. But yes you are right balance should be there.

[starlight7]

Tell you a true story. One of my kids ( Aussie born) invited a couple of other Mums for a coffee. They were both poms. She will never ask them again because they spent all their time whinging about Australia and Australians and how bad the teachers were etc etc ad nauseam. They are the sort that give others a bad name and how rude of them when my daughter is an Aussie. Her Aussie friends all say the same about these two.

[Johndoe]

Tell you a true story. One of my kids ( Aussie born) invited a couple of other Mums for a coffee. They were both poms. She will never ask them again because they spent all their time whinging about Australia and Australians and how bad the teachers were etc etc ad nauseam. They are the sort that give others a bad name and how rude of them when my daughter is an Aussie. Her Aussie friends all say the same about these two.

 

Yep! I went to two meet and greets with folk from this forum and a faceache one that trawled members from this forum and they were all the same. UK this, UK that, Aussie crap this, Aussie crap that. I left both meets within half an hour of getting there. The very same sort of folk that call North Lakes "Little England" because thy seem blinded to the fact that depite the number of cliquey poms living there, who see the estate as their dominion, they are the tiniest number of inhabitants there but still think that they rule the roost.

 

I never call the UK or the UK people but I reckon I've seen the worst of them in my 20 yrs here and have absolutely no idea why that is? They're nothing like the folk I've known, or still know back in the UK. My personal opinion is that the UK is better off without them. It's just a shame that they choose to come here.

[JockinTas]

Yep! I went to two meet and greets with folk from this forum and a faceache one that trawled members from this forum and they were all the same. UK this, UK that, Aussie crap this, Aussie crap that. I left both meets within half an hour of getting there. The very same sort of folk that call North Lakes "Little England" because thy seem blinded to the fact that depite the number of cliquey poms living there, who see the estate as their dominion, they are the tiniest number of inhabitants there but still think that they rule the roost.

 

I never call the UK or the UK people but I reckon I've seen the worst of them in my 20 yrs here and have absolutely no idea why that is? They're nothing like the folk I've known, or still know back in the UK. My personal opinion is that the UK is better off without them. It's just a shame that they choose to come here.

 

I've thought the same myself many a time.

[Johndoe]

I've thought the same myself many a time.

 

And as for "cliquey"!!! If you don't contribute to the knocking of Oz and Aussies, or try and defend 'em, you get the bird within 5 minutes.............how I stuck another 25mins is beyond me :-) Well it isn't really. I just stood on the sidelines for a while listening and thinking, "this is just how I imagine a social circle of the usual suspects on PIO would sound like if they got together. There was nothing in their conversation that didn't revolve around how, "they'd do this better in the UK" or "I don't know how I'll manage without my Walkers prawn crisps" or, "I think it's ridiculous that I had to get this or that certificate" blah blah blah Excuse me??? You knew that before you came here so why, after being here for 2 yrs, are you still whingeing about it?

[Que Sera Sera]

Unfortunately I think the whole process of immigration turns some people round the twist, nutters around every corner :laugh: Or are they all normal and Im the nutter? Either way I'm the happiest :wink: