Biggest Mistake of my Life!

[flag of convenience]

Likewise most thought we were happily ensconced in Australia, times change and we rarely see it coming lol

 

I've known numerous people that have returned/left for elsewhere without a reason you could pin down to. Often after many years here.

[Petals]

My mum was a moaner and a groaner and Dad moved her from here to there and there and there and the moaning never stopped. Nothing suits. My mother is now 96 and lives not far from me and my brother and I dread the phone call, dread going there, because she may be in the mood of öh I do not like this unit I want to move". She thinks shes moving in July she isn't. What she has done is drive people away who want to be friends, upset us so that we only go when we have to. Recently she is in a good mood so I go more. However when the moans start I drop off the and only go when I have to. She returned to the UK twice and, goodness me, she did not like it. We lived in UK, Africa, New Zealand, Australia, mum went back twice she even got Dad to return to NZ for a couple of years. They lived in WA, QLD, NSW, Vic.

 

What I am saying and what others have said is its not the place its us. I could move from this house tomorrow into a very small ramshackle house in a new area and I would not like it, but you know after a few weeks I would see the good in it and enjoy it because we only only have one life.

 

If you have health, enough money and somewhere to live everywhere is an advantage that others do not have.

 

Positive people attract people, moaners send them away.

[JockinTas]

My mum was a moaner and a groaner and Dad moved her from here to there and there and there and the moaning never stopped. Nothing suits. My mother is now 96 and lives not far from me and my brother and I dread the phone call, dread going there, because she may be in the mood of öh I do not like this unit I want to move". She thinks shes moving in July she isn't. What she has done is drive people away who want to be friends, upset us so that we only go when we have to. Recently she is in a good mood so I go more. However when the moans start I drop off the and only go when I have to. She returned to the UK twice and, goodness me, she did not like it. We lived in UK, Africa, New Zealand, Australia, mum went back twice she even got Dad to return to NZ for a couple of years. They lived in WA, QLD, NSW, Vic.

 

What I am saying and what others have said is its not the place its us. I could move from this house tomorrow into a very small ramshackle house in a new area and I would not like it, but you know after a few weeks I would see the good in it and enjoy it because we only only have one life.

 

If you have health, enough money and somewhere to live everywhere is an advantage that others do not have.

 

Positive people attract people, moaners send them away.

 

How true is that! I've known loads of moaners over the years. They didn't have many friends - folk would go out of their way to avoid them.

[Que Sera Sera]

Spot on @Petals and @JockinTas that's exactly how I see it. Those that complain they can't make friends or constantly fall out with them need to take a hard look at themselves and stop blaming the place. Stop looking for negatives because we can all do that everywhere. Enjoy the positives live with your decisions, enjoy your health and move forward with your life and for the love of God stop looking back! :yes: Therein lies madness :laugh:

[Quoll]

Spot on @Petals and @JockinTas that's exactly how I see it. Those that complain they can't make friends or constantly fall out with them need to take a hard look at themselves and stop blaming the place. Stop looking for negatives because we can all do that everywhere. Enjoy the positives live with your decisions, enjoy your health and move forward with your life and for the love of God stop looking back! :yes: Therein lies madness :laugh:

 

Whilst in essence I do agree with you (living with a moaner makes you want to slit your wrists but my demented mum won't be around for much longer!) it is naive to say that for everyone that it is them and not the place. Exogenous depression is a very real condition and can hit the most rational and positive of us and should not be discounted. Unfortunately the only cure is removal from the place/situation and that cure can be utterly miraculous. If you've had it you will never diss the concept ever again (I would have been like you "get a grip" guys before I had it - it's a deadly feeling). Most of us are just fine and can hack anything life throws at us most of the time but depression (exogenous or endogenous) gets you down and beats you to a pulp - it doesn't necessarily mean you're a moaner! Some moaners aren't depressed, they're just naturally miserable.

[Quoll]

Just wanted to ask - OP how are you? Are things looking brighter?

[shak]

Spot on @Petals and @JockinTas that's exactly how I see it. Those that complain they can't make friends or constantly fall out with them need to take a hard look at themselves and stop blaming the place. Stop looking for negatives because we can all do that everywhere. Enjoy the positives live with your decisions, enjoy your health and move forward with your life and for the love of God stop looking back! :yes: Therein lies madness :laugh:

 

If only there was a dislike button

[shak]

Whilst in essence I do agree with you (living with a moaner makes you want to slit your wrists but my demented mum won't be around for much longer!) it is naive to say that for everyone that it is them and not the place. Exogenous depression is a very real condition and can hit the most rational and positive of us and should not be discounted. Unfortunately the only cure is removal from the place/situation and that cure can be utterly miraculous. If you've had it you will never diss the concept ever again (I would have been like you "get a grip" guys before I had it - it's a deadly feeling). Most of us are just fine and can hack anything life throws at us most of the time but depression (exogenous or endogenous) gets you down and beats you to a pulp - it doesn't necessarily mean you're a moaner! Some moaners aren't depressed, they're just naturally miserable.

 

Totally agree!some people on here are actually making some of us feel even worse.i give up.

[Que Sera Sera]

Whilst in essence I do agree with you (living with a moaner makes you want to slit your wrists but my demented mum won't be around for much longer!) it is naive to say that for everyone that it is them and not the place. Exogenous depression is a very real condition and can hit the most rational and positive of us and should not be discounted. Unfortunately the only cure is removal from the place/situation and that cure can be utterly miraculous. If you've had it you will never diss the concept ever again (I would have been like you "get a grip" guys before I had it - it's a deadly feeling). Most of us are just fine and can hack anything life throws at us most of the time but depression (exogenous or endogenous) gets you down and beats you to a pulp - it doesn't necessarily mean you're a moaner! Some moaners aren't depressed, they're just naturally miserable.

 

 

Ive had it, hence my expression " take a hard look at yourself! " suffered it since my Dad died when I was 12 and have had serious bouts on and off for years especially after a broken marriage then the death of my Mum. Hence my comment " therein lies madness! " If it gets bad again, it won't be Australia's fault or anyone's come to that. It will be my problem for me to deal with.

Edited April 25, 2015 by Que Sera, Sera

[kiwiathome]

What kind of forum exactly is this suppose to be? I am new to this forum, and simply titled, it is, wish to return to UK! Therefore people who post here are suppose to support the poster or "mildly agree" with their need to return to the UK! It is not about the person who is replying having their own moan and then attacking the person who wants to return to the UK! Fair enough, Australia is not right for some people. And some people are genuinely happier in UK. And maybe they moved to Australia to suit other people. It's not about attacking Australia as such, just some people are unhappy here and seeking support.

 

Go on a different forum if you can't be supportive, or want to talk about your own personal life that has been hard. I don't recall the poster of this thread ever telling any of you who came across as anti that you have done the wrong thing. Just some of you need to be nicer or have a break from the forum.

[Que Sera Sera]

What kind of forum exactly is this suppose to be? I am new to this forum, and simply titled, it is, wish to return to UK! Therefore people who post here are suppose to support the poster or "mildly agree" with their need to return to the UK! It is not about the person who is replying having their own moan and then attacking the person who wants to return to the UK! Fair enough, Australia is not right for some people. And some people are genuinely happier in UK. And maybe they moved to Australia to suit other people. It's not about attacking Australia as such, just some people are unhappy here and seeking support.

 

Go on a different forum if you can't be supportive, or want to talk about your own personal life that has been hard. I don't recall the poster of this thread ever telling any of you who came across as anti that you have done the wrong thing. Just some of you need to be nicer or have a break from the forum.

 

Yes you are clearly new to this forum or else you would know that there is a whole sub forum devoted to moving back to the UK that those of us who aren't unhappy here cannot participate in, and you would also not know the grief that those of us that are happy here and trying to positivly help the newbies coming over have to go through. I'm sorry if my glimpse into my personal life ( in response to another's comment ) offends you. But in your words, maybe go somewhere else if it offends you!

[Perthbum]

When you look at those poor souls who died in the Med this week I think we should all think a bit before we moan about our lot.

[kiwiathome]

I don't think telling the poster that she needs to get over herself, or is a moaner, or can not be happy anywhere is helping. It is real to beachbum that she is so unhappy here, that's what she says. I don't recall beachbum saying she was unhappy in UK, rather than she had a good positive attitude and looked at coming to Australia as an adventure. How can someone tell someone else they are not capable of being happy anywhere?

 

Beachbum if you feel that strongly about missing UK and your family, and do not like Australia, then seriously look into all possibilities of returning. But talk, don't bottle it up. I have lived in many different countries and loved them. I have lived in Australia and it is not for me, even 7 years later. You may never be happy here, and you obviously miss your parents a lot. Australia is very different to UK. Go where you are happy and where your heart is. Talk to your hubby. All the best.

[flag of convenience]

Ive had it, hence my expression " take a hard look at yourself! " suffered it since my Dad died when I was 12 and have had serious bouts on and off for years especially after a broken marriage then the death of my Mum. Hence my comment " therein lies madness! " If it gets bad again, it won't be Australia's fault or anyone's come to that. It will be my problem for me to deal with.

 

Then you will likely be aware no two cases need be the same. There is such a thing as situational depression where the best thing the person can do, if at all possible, is to remove themselves.

[flag of convenience]

I don't think telling the poster that she needs to get over herself, or is a moaner, or can not be happy anywhere is helping. It is real to beachbum that she is so unhappy here, that's what she says. I don't recall beachbum saying she was unhappy in UK, rather than she had a good positive attitude and looked at coming to Australia as an adventure. How can someone tell someone else they are not capable of being happy anywhere?

 

Beachbum if you feel that strongly about missing UK and your family, and do not like Australia, then seriously look into all possibilities of returning. But talk, don't bottle it up. I have lived in many different countries and loved them. I have lived in Australia and it is not for me, even 7 years later. You may never be happy here, and you obviously miss your parents a lot. Australia is very different to UK. Go where you are happy and where your heart is. Talk to your hubby. All the best.

 

I completely agree. Said it before and say it again I will never understand why so many get the bit between the teeth when the low down is given on Australia or any particular country for that matter. It is what it is and no more. Those finding the going tough should indeed feel the freedom to vent frustrations and dislikes just as the thrilled to be here and love it to bits brigade have equal right to state so.

[flag of convenience]

My mum was a moaner and a groaner and Dad moved her from here to there and there and there and the moaning never stopped. Nothing suits. My mother is now 96 and lives not far from me and my brother and I dread the phone call, dread going there, because she may be in the mood of öh I do not like this unit I want to move". She thinks shes moving in July she isn't. What she has done is drive people away who want to be friends, upset us so that we only go when we have to. Recently she is in a good mood so I go more. However when the moans start I drop off the and only go when I have to. She returned to the UK twice and, goodness me, she did not like it. We lived in UK, Africa, New Zealand, Australia, mum went back twice she even got Dad to return to NZ for a couple of years. They lived in WA, QLD, NSW, Vic.

 

What I am saying and what others have said is its not the place its us. I could move from this house tomorrow into a very small ramshackle house in a new area and I would not like it, but you know after a few weeks I would see the good in it and enjoy it because we only only have one life.

 

If you have health, enough money and somewhere to live everywhere is an advantage that others do not have.

 

Positive people attract people, moaners send them away.

 

May well be the moaning and groaning as you put it that has kept her going by the sounds of it rather well at 96. If folk really only want to read the light, non challenging fluff, they may well be better off on Face Book which appears to excel at the trivial.

 

Real people attract the same. Life is not all positives and the ability to hear out those doing it tough is something along the lines of forums should surely be about? Let alone friendship.

[Tina2]

It is sad that there are a handful of people on this forum who just seem to enjoy being argumentative, which can turn people away who contribute positive,relevant and supportive comments

[flag of convenience]

How true is that! I've known loads of moaners over the years. They didn't have many friends - folk would go out of their way to avoid them.

 

I suppose it depends how one rates friendship. At one time strangers seeking a degree of companionship and comfort during tine of crisis in their lives may well have felt able to reach out. Rather less compassion about today with the compulsion of sorts to conform to a standard behaviour that largely says nothing but somehow comes under the guise of friendship. How bizarre.

[Petals]

Moaners are not thought of as moaners in the beginning, everyone wants to help but they drift away if there is no change and it becomes obvious to people that they are wasting their time trying to make the person feel better and happy.

 

We only do it tough if we make it tough. Just because people don't moan on a forum does not mean their life is a bed of roses, they are just making the most of it.

 

I have no problem with people wanting to return to the UK, but just do it who cares, its their lives and I do not know them.

[Lambethlad]

Sorry but I had to laugh when I got to the bit about your parents waving your dog goodbye. Made me think this might be a windup.

[Desprado]

Hi

Sorry to hear your missing home ! I was in the same situation 3 years ago & lived at the foot of the blue mountains for 2 years. Luckily I escaped before purchasing a property. I agree with the fog /rain cold houses. Expensive cost of living . I was lucky enough to jump on the plane with my daughter after leaving my British husband there. It was a constant battle with OH crying so desperate to leave . Lucky he followed me but had to work in the Middle East . Some one has to give somewhere down the line . I don't think you need to see a doctor this isn't a medical condition you follow your heart Good Luck

[Marisawright]

Yes you are clearly new to this forum or else you would know that there is a whole sub forum devoted to moving back to the UK that those of us who aren't unhappy here cannot participate in, and you would also not know the grief that those of us that are happy here and trying to positivly help the newbies coming over have to go through. I'm sorry if my glimpse into my personal life ( in response to another's comment ) offends you. But in your words, maybe go somewhere else if it offends you!

 

Yes, there is a special section of the forum but my understanding is that it was created because people who wanted to go home were being harassed and made to feel bad by the "how dare you knock Australia" brigade, so that refuge was created for people who felt unsafe posting on the public forum. So you see the "grief" works both ways! This public section is still called "Moving Back to the UK" so I can't see a problem with people posting about that subject here.

Edited April 26, 2015 by Marisawright

[Que Sera Sera]

Yes, there is a special section of the forum but my understanding is that it was created because people who wanted to go home were being harassed and made to feel bad by the "how dare you knock Australia" brigade, so that refuge was created for people who felt unsafe posting on the public forum. So you see the "grief" works both ways! This public section is still called "Moving Back to the UK" so I can't see a problem with people posting about that subject here.

 

Yes we are all entitled to post our opinions good or bad , great forum isn't it?

[kiwiathome]

Cheers Marisawright. And in reply to the above I did not know there was a sub forum until recently, when I have had a few private messages advising me I might feel safer going there. (positive messages).

 

And the focus should be on the poster. They are asking for help! And if anyone deems the poster is not genuine, then why are you bothering to reply if you can't say anything nice!

 

The whole focus of this thread should be about helping beachbum. Beachbum, I hope you feel you can come back on and update us. All the best and I hope your feeling better.

[Beachbum]

Hi Quoll,

 

Thanks for asking. Still in a quandry and hubby suggested I go home for a few months so I can spend time with my parents - and get away from the BlueS Mountains until we're in a position to think about moving somewhere more hospitable. Great of him to offer that, but now of course I know I'll feel so guilty leaving him! I'm really in a no-win right now and just don't know what the hell to do. Still bursting into tears at the slightest thing and we also have the problem of our dog. Hubby can't care for him as he's out 14 hours a day, and has suggested I take him back home too, but the expense is crazy and I'd be worried sick about putting the poor dog through all that again. And if the dog and I are in the UK, apart from my husband, what incentive is there to come back to Oz? Am I running away too soon? I wanted to set up my own business here and haven't even tried it, but the urge to go back to the UK is overwhelming right now. Just so torn, worrying that if I do this, I'll then be beating myself up for not giving Oz my best shot. But if something awful happened to my Dad and I missed the opportunity to spend time with him..... Such a hideous situation and I just can't think straight!