proud preston Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 Ah yes -a Prestonian. Love going back to visit the place although haven’t lived there for 30 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 On 01/02/2019 at 21:28, thinker78 said: hello. just my 2 cents/pence worth. Re your daughter- someone on here also hit that issue with their kids residency re uni - some unis offer a bit of flexibility but in her case, her child ended up going to uni in Holland at a fraction of the cost (about 3000 quid per year as opposed to 9000)- courses taught in english etc. worth looking into although Brexit may possibly alter some things. always worth contacting unis direct re international fees. Thank you for that info, Thinker78. Uni in Holland would be lovely (actually have a friend from Holland too). We are looking at all options for interstate / international uni fees at the moment, and will definitely contact direct for exact amounts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 On 07/02/2019 at 06:52, TazG said: I go home to Scotland in 77 days. It has been 11,062 days since I left Scotland and was brought to Australia by my parents. 11,062 days I have longed to be back on Scottish soil. I am the same as you, I hate the heat. I am over it! This summer especially has been insufferable for me. My children all want to go to live in Scotland and so does my partner. We are planning on moving later this year after my eldest has graduated grade 12. My dad passed away in 2006 but always wanted to go home. He never settled here. I don't want to die with those feelings inside me also. The yearning never goes away. I call it displacement. My eldest wants to go to Uni also, I heard from a lady on FB that her daughter moved over and was accepted as a resident after a year of being back in the country. We are hoping that happens for my daughter also. She is going to have a gap year then apply. My other two will slot into 2nd and 3rd year. My only issue with it all is their father and I are divorced. he has not seen the kids in over a year... he sends them a text once a month. I hope he can see the move as something positive for them and not try to stop me. We are going to be spending 3 weeks there at Easter. Its not really going to give us full understanding of how life will be, but it will give us some idea. Then we will know if the move back is on or not. TazG, I am so happy for you that you are finally going back to Scotland! That's great that you're going back for the 3 weeks at Easter and I hope the trip back brings you clarity of mind. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 On 09/02/2019 at 05:56, Newstart said: I could never live in Perth for the same reasons you hate. I think you do need to get out of Perth. However, I don’t think you should leave Australia just yet. Could you convience your husband to move to a different Australian state? What about Tasmania for greenery or Melbourne for the “ English type weather” . Places in NSW like Southern Highlands has a lovely country feel. After living in the English Countryside, it’s a place I hope to have a house one day. You say you wouldn’t like to break up with your hubby and so I think that would be tragic, as if you did, I think you’d find you be rather lonely in the UK and not as happy as you imagine without him. Even if your daughter returned with you, she will need her own life. It’s also not that easy to make friends right away here and you have been gone 30 years. A holiday or two is not like day to day life here. Have a think about what kind of activities you would like to do and look into other areas in OZ that seem more exciting to you. Thanks Newstart - my husband has suggested the same thing: why don't we move states. I appreciate his efforts but I have lived in Melbourne and, well, it's not the UK. I haven't been to Tasmania and would certainly love to visit. I feel that if I absolutely can't return, I might have to try Tasmania - at least it would get me away from the heat. I know I won't make friends straight away, wherever we go, it does get harder, especially as you get older, and definitely don't want to just hang around my daughter and be a burden I am planning another trip at the end of this year, and depending how that goes, will be thinking of a "trial run" in a few years time when the kids are more independant - ie getting a job for 6-12 months and seeing how I feel. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 4 minutes ago, FeelingStuck said: Thanks Newstart - my husband has suggested the same thing: why don't we move states. I appreciate his efforts but I have lived in Melbourne and, well, it's not the UK. I haven't been to Tasmania and would certainly love to visit. I feel that if I absolutely can't return, I might have to try Tasmania - at least it would get me away from the heat. I know I won't make friends straight away, wherever we go, it does get harder, especially as you get older, and definitely don't want to just hang around my daughter and be a burden I am planning another trip at the end of this year, and depending how that goes, will be thinking of a "trial run" in a few years time when the kids are more independant - ie getting a job for 6-12 months and seeing how I feel. I enjoy life in Tasmania but finding employment here isn't as easy as it is on the mainland. Also as you don't like hot weather be careful here in the summertime. It can get really hot in some areas of Tassie. People are often surprised by that. We are on the north west coast and it is a bit more temperate here. I even enjoy the frosty, blustery and wet days during the winter here. We came here 5 years ago and I have been lucky to make very nice friends who share the same interests. Very glad we moved here from Sydney. My sister from Edinburgh is staying with us for a while - escaping the Scottish winter - and she is having a lovely time but she is a city person and couldn't live here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 8 hours ago, proud preston said: ‘Feeling stuck’ completely empathise with your dilemma. I too seem to have been living for the last 12 years with a continued undercurrent of sadness. I remember part of my uni course -looking at grief and loss - many migrants experience ambiguous loss. Not grieving a death of a person etc but grieving something that is still there but not there (similar to the grieving when a loved one has dementia) Anyway- it’s bloody tough. I am ok here and on the surface have a great life but deeply miss the cold, the seasons, Europe, family, trees, hills, buildings, villages etc etc. We have gone back so many times in the last 12 years to visit family and that probably hasn’t helped us at all to settle here (and I hate the heat and constant blue sky- every. single. day.) Our son is just about to start a 5 year uni course here (yikes!) I am determined that when he finishes (I will be 55!!) to go back - he and my other son may not feel the same but I think my husband does. In that time I hope to make enough money to safely sell up here and not have to struggle in the UK and live a life we both want for our older years - not burning to a crisp! I would not want to return to the uk if it meant living in some non descript box in a bland suburb. My only suggestions (that I have to try and take up - otherwise I’m wasting my life) is to try and find some joy in the here and now - take advantage of the weather and grow veggies that we wouldn’t be able to in the uk, holiday to different states -and marvel at what Aus does have - once we are gone we may wish we’d seen Kakadu, Uluru etc. North of Perth and the country is just magnificent in it’s vastness and unique landscape. Become involved in something -uni, sport - learn a European language?! It is so hard when you both don’t have the same desire to live in the same place. We got stuck in a rut and fear prevented us from going back. I now starkly realise (at 50 ) that life is bloody short. Good luck, trust your gut and find something that you enjoy here -whilst you’re here. Through work I have met far too many ex pats who -in their 70’s- still pine for the UK. Determined that I won’t be that older person living with longing and regret. Proud Preston, a continued undercurrent of sadness is an excellent description. It just won't go away. Even if I'm having fun at a dinner, or watching a comedy, even playing with my crazy ratgbag of a dog, - part of me is still somewhat disengaged and deeply sad. I just can't shake it. I feel ungrateful and guilty when so many people want to move here. I know what you mean about not wanting to live in a bland suburb back in the UK either. I don't want to swap one boring existence for another. I dream of a cozy character-filled stone cottage in a village somewhere. I am really really trying to engage with life here. I started a new role Monday and it's extremely demanding and busy - the advantage of that being it does keep me focussed and stops me obsessing over moving. I'm lucky enough to be working with some lovely ladies around the same age (I'm 50 too) and think I will enjoy the job. I do get out as much as possible and try to take advantage of all the things I won't have back in the UK - swimming in the sea for example. I do agree that life is bloody short, and I definitely don't want to be still feeling this way at 70 either. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 20 minutes ago, Toots said: I enjoy life in Tasmania but finding employment here isn't as easy as it is on the mainland. Also as you don't like hot weather be careful here in the summertime. It can get really hot in some areas of Tassie. People are often surprised by that. We are on the north west coast and it is a bit more temperate here. I even enjoy the frosty, blustery and wet days during the winter here. We came here 5 years ago and I have been lucky to make very nice friends who share the same interests. Very glad we moved here from Sydney. My sister from Edinburgh is staying with us for a while - escaping the Scottish winter - and she is having a lovely time but she is a city person and couldn't live here. I am definitely surprised that Tassie gets hot in the summer, Toots. And yes, I can see that employment would be an issue. I am in the healthcare sector so, with the aging population in Tassie, I was thinking I might be ok in regards to work. Really need to get to Tas for a holiday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 4 hours ago, proud preston said: Ah yes -a Prestonian. Love going back to visit the place although haven’t lived there for 30 years! We're also from Preston (although I wasn't born there), lived in Walton-le-Dale 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marisawright Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 (edited) 9 hours ago, proud preston said: Our son is just about to start a 5 year uni course here (yikes!) I am determined that when he finishes (I will be 55!!) to go back - he and my other son may not feel the same but I think my husband does. In that time I hope to make enough money to safely sell up here and not have to struggle in the UK @proud preston, if you want to head back at 55, then start planning now. First cab off the rank - check your entitlement to the UK pension. If you're not entitled to the full UK pension, then start paying extra NI contributions now to boost the amount you get. You can also backpay a few years. I say that because if you leave before retirement age, you won't be able to claim the Australian pension. If you've both got huge superannuation balances, that may not worry you - but if not, then the lack of a pension might scupper your chances of moving back to the UK. Talking to your husband about boosting the UK pension might be a good way to ascertain whether he's really keen to move or whether it's your wishful thinking. However, it can be worth it whatever you do, because you can claim your British pension even if you're still living in Australia. Edited February 10, 2019 by Marisawright 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 (edited) 24 minutes ago, FeelingStuck said: I am definitely surprised that Tassie gets hot in the summer, Toots. And yes, I can see that employment would be an issue. I am in the healthcare sector so, with the aging population in Tassie, I was thinking I might be ok in regards to work. Really need to get to Tas for a holiday! It can reach 40C in some parts of Tassie. The hottest day we have had in Devonport so far this summer was 29. Today it is 19. Nice for going on long walks without breaking into a lather of sweat. I've heard a few UK accents in local hospitals. Edited February 10, 2019 by Toots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proud preston Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 @ali - excellent! Born in Penwortham so just outside of Preston - when I go back I do the Preston park run and love hearing all the familiar, comforting accents -although always feel a pang of jealousy that I’m no longer ‘one of them’ (never happy eh?!) . @Marisawright-thank you - just talking to hubby about that over a G&T -making plans and trying to throw as much as we can into super and search what UK pension we need to consolidate. Sad how as youngsters pensions are a boring subject - now we find it great conversation ! He’s keen too but a realist and also - quite rightly - wanting to embrace what we have here - whilst we are here. We go back eventually - I know we will. @Toots love Tassie - spent 2 weeks in a camper van there - even saw an Oak tree in Port Arthur - surreal. Beautiful place - wish we’d gone there first to settle rather than stinking hot Brisbane. @FeelingStuck- my solace is that we are not alone - many, many feel as we do. I envy Aussie’s who are born here and catch up with family. I get on with my siblings really well and miss catching up with them. Also my lovely mum has dementia and is in an aged care home - guilt and -again - grieving. Yes, I feel very guilty when I whinge about missing home as we made the choice to come here (hubby keen to migrate - I was desperate to get out of child protection social work!) Someone mentioned CBT - and whilst not my preferred way of working in my job - the basic principles probably help. Although we should probably pay our mortgage down we have had some great trips back to the UK - and made it a holiday. Can you do that whilst you are here? Great to be a tourist in the UK and Europe. We live a split life - but embrace (that word again) the best of both worlds. I fell in love with Australia as a 24 year old back packer - I felt so excited in that year I travelled this vast continent. I am determined to recapture that excitement about this sunburnt country whilst still heading toward my eventual goal of a little stone house in Lancashire, Yorkshire or Cumbria. Phew - apologies for such a long post! Find things that give you a good old belly laugh - even if it’s watching UK Live at the Apollo - and remain curious about what Aus has to offer - away from all the Americanised crap that’s crept in. All the best. You’re not alone x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 1 minute ago, proud preston said: @ali - excellent! Born in Penwortham so just outside of Preston - when I go back I do the Preston park run and love hearing all the familiar, comforting accents -although always feel a pang of jealousy that I’m no longer ‘one of them’ (never happy eh?!) . @Marisawright-thank you - just talking to hubby about that over a G&T -making plans and trying to throw as much as we can into super and search what UK pension we need to consolidate. Sad how as youngsters pensions are a boring subject - now we find it great conversation ! He’s keen too but a realist and also - quite rightly - wanting to embrace what we have here - whilst we are here. We go back eventually - I know we will. @Toots love Tassie - spent 2 weeks in a camper van there - even saw an Oak tree in Port Arthur - surreal. Beautiful place - wish we’d gone there first to settle rather than stinking hot Brisbane. @FeelingStuck- my solace is that we are not alone - many, many feel as we do. I envy Aussie’s who are born here and catch up with family. I get on with my siblings really well and miss catching up with them. Also my lovely mum has dementia and is in an aged care home - guilt and -again - grieving. Yes, I feel very guilty when I whinge about missing home as we made the choice to come here (hubby keen to migrate - I was desperate to get out of child protection social work!) Someone mentioned CBT - and whilst not my preferred way of working in my job - the basic principles probably help. Although we should probably pay our mortgage down we have had some great trips back to the UK - and made it a holiday. Can you do that whilst you are here? Great to be a tourist in the UK and Europe. We live a split life - but embrace (that word again) the best of both worlds. I fell in love with Australia as a 24 year old back packer - I felt so excited in that year I travelled this vast continent. I am determined to recapture that excitement about this sunburnt country whilst still heading toward my eventual goal of a little stone house in Lancashire, Yorkshire or Cumbria. Phew - apologies for such a long post! Find things that give you a good old belly laugh - even if it’s watching UK Live at the Apollo - and remain curious about what Aus has to offer - away from all the Americanised crap that’s crept in. All the best. You’re not alone x Here we have oak, elm, yew, silver birch, ash, chestnut, lilacs and rhododendrons. Love a proper tree I do. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proud preston Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 @Toots - how lovely! Trees- These are a few of my favourite things ! Must visit again - in Autum. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 First off I am very happy on the Sunshine Coast, but I really enjoy the contrast when staying in The Southern Highlands because I love , the wonderful established trees, We were there in Spring and there was blossom everywhere. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thinker78 Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 We swim in the sea in the UK in summer...there are plenty of places you can do that 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 10, 2019 Author Share Posted February 10, 2019 2 hours ago, thinker78 said: We swim in the sea in the UK in summer...there are plenty of places you can do that Well yes, I have to, I was trying to think of something you can only do here,.... and was struggling 4 hours ago, Toots said: Here we have oak, elm, yew, silver birch, ash, chestnut, lilacs and rhododendrons. Love a proper tree I do. That sounds lovely; I really miss the cooler climate trees. 4 hours ago, proud preston said: my solace is that we are not alone - many, many feel as we do. I envy Aussie’s who are born here and catch up with family. I get on with my siblings really well and miss catching up with them. Also my lovely mum has dementia and is in an aged care home - guilt and -again - grieving. Yes, I feel very guilty when I whinge about missing home as we made the choice to come here (hubby keen to migrate - I was desperate to get out of child protection social work!) Someone mentioned CBT - and whilst not my preferred way of working in my job - the basic principles probably help. Although we should probably pay our mortgage down we have had some great trips back to the UK - and made it a holiday. Can you do that whilst you are here? Great to be a tourist in the UK and Europe. We live a split life - but embrace (that word again) the best of both worlds. I fell in love with Australia as a 24 year old back packer - I felt so excited in that year I travelled this vast continent. I am determined to recapture that excitement about this sunburnt country whilst still heading toward my eventual goal of a little stone house in Lancashire, Yorkshire or Cumbria. Phew - apologies for such a long post! Find things that give you a good old belly laugh - even if it’s watching UK Live at the Apollo - and remain curious about what Aus has to offer - away from all the Americanised crap that’s crept in. All the best. You’re not alone x I understand about missing friends & family, although I do have my mum here, so I'm fortunate in that regard. Dad's still in the UK. I had a very close friend here in Perth but she returned home, and hasn't been replaced I am going to start counselling & CBT for myself, to try and change my thought processes and help see the positives. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to winter lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix16 Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 This is such an interesting thread because firstly I had never ever thought about the points #marisawright has raised. Important basically. We came here living the dream and oh so niaive, we have loved every single minute up to recent points! My graduating as a Registered Nurse and actually not being able to get a job, anywhere, whatsoever, has been a blow and didn’t expect that given so many nurses still want to come out here??? Then, hubby hitting a massive health crisis, I’m not sure we do want to go home but trying times have made us truly reflect on the fact that we are all alone here. Hubby now has an auto immune disease that has a not great outlook, we get amazing treatment here (thank you HBF), but every single treatment we go through that is outpatient costs us, last month we spent over 1500 dollars on Mri’s, bone scans and xrays, it is all worth it to get seen and results so quickly, it is frustrating the results don’t lead to a resolution, we get the answers we really don’t want! I am so thankful we are able to access health treatment so quickly it’s just unfortunate for us the treatment isn’t the cure we hoped for!! We are at a little bit of a crisis point in terms of the future, it would seem easy to go ‘home’, I’m sure with a permanent move we could easily prove our permanent residency intention in the Uk, but I don’t believe he could get the treatment he gets here and the accessibility to health care and his specialist team that we have here. It Is the fact that we live here with no family support network that is making me reflect back on the UK, it’s not really that I miss it at all, it’s that it does feel very lonely trying to cope with all of this. If I do really reflect, I doubt we would get anymore help in the UK, both sets of parents are elderly and coping with their own health issues, that tends to be highlighted when we call them and we end up saying ‘everything’s wonderful here, just a little auto immune thing, nothing to worry about’ but how’s your hip, knee, leg, other body parts!!! It’s the choice we made, it’s the price we pay, but not sure if we were in the Uk we’d be getting anymore sympathy!!! Hey ho, onwards and upwards, just wanted to share, hopefully it helps with perspectives xxxxx 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VERYSTORMY Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 2 hours ago, Phoenix16 said: This is such an interesting thread because firstly I had never ever thought about the points #marisawright has raised. Important basically. We came here living the dream and oh so niaive, we have loved every single minute up to recent points! My graduating as a Registered Nurse and actually not being able to get a job, anywhere, whatsoever, has been a blow and didn’t expect that given so many nurses still want to come out here??? Then, hubby hitting a massive health crisis, I’m not sure we do want to go home but trying times have made us truly reflect on the fact that we are all alone here. Hubby now has an auto immune disease that has a not great outlook, we get amazing treatment here (thank you HBF), but every single treatment we go through that is outpatient costs us, last month we spent over 1500 dollars on Mri’s, bone scans and xrays, it is all worth it to get seen and results so quickly, it is frustrating the results don’t lead to a resolution, we get the answers we really don’t want! I am so thankful we are able to access health treatment so quickly it’s just unfortunate for us the treatment isn’t the cure we hoped for!! We are at a little bit of a crisis point in terms of the future, it would seem easy to go ‘home’, I’m sure with a permanent move we could easily prove our permanent residency intention in the Uk, but I don’t believe he could get the treatment he gets here and the accessibility to health care and his specialist team that we have here. It Is the fact that we live here with no family support network that is making me reflect back on the UK, it’s not really that I miss it at all, it’s that it does feel very lonely trying to cope with all of this. If I do really reflect, I doubt we would get anymore help in the UK, both sets of parents are elderly and coping with their own health issues, that tends to be highlighted when we call them and we end up saying ‘everything’s wonderful here, just a little auto immune thing, nothing to worry about’ but how’s your hip, knee, leg, other body parts!!! It’s the choice we made, it’s the price we pay, but not sure if we were in the Uk we’d be getting anymore sympathy!!! Hey ho, onwards and upwards, just wanted to share, hopefully it helps with perspectives xxxxx I am not sure why you think the NHS would be poorer. We returned in 2016. Shortly after, my wife noticed a odd looking mole on my back. So, I went to see my GP who didn't think it was an issue but best to be cautious. I was sat there expecting a referral in months. Nope, same day I was in hospital having tests. Dermatologist also didn't think it was much but also though caution and said best to be removed. Within 2 weeks I was in surgery. That would have been quicker but I changed the hospital to be more convenient. Last year, I was driving to work and felt huge chest pain. As an older guy I went straight to hospital. Was seen by a huge number of specialists in moments. Established it wasn't a heart attack but a chest infection. But did pick up I had high cholesterol and should see a specialist. I was refered and saw him that day.mmore tests and a consultation. Have been seeing him monthly since and having tests including a look at having gene therapy. Prescribed a range of drugs (all free as NHS Scotland don't change for prescriptions) Had my last consultation a month ago and tests show now back in normal range. My wife has had on going long term dental issues. Spent over 10k in Oz after insurance. Pretty much resolved here at a cost of about 100. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 10 hours ago, FeelingStuck said: Proud Preston, a continued undercurrent of sadness is an excellent description. It just won't go away. Even if I'm having fun at a dinner, or watching a comedy, even playing with my crazy ratgbag of a dog, - part of me is still somewhat disengaged and deeply sad. I just can't shake it. I feel ungrateful and guilty when so many people want to move here. I know what you mean about not wanting to live in a bland suburb back in the UK either. I don't want to swap one boring existence for another. I dream of a cozy character-filled stone cottage in a village somewhere. I am really really trying to engage with life here. I started a new role Monday and it's extremely demanding and busy - the advantage of that being it does keep me focussed and stops me obsessing over moving. I'm lucky enough to be working with some lovely ladies around the same age (I'm 50 too) and think I will enjoy the job. I do get out as much as possible and try to take advantage of all the things I won't have back in the UK - swimming in the sea for example. I do agree that life is bloody short, and I definitely don't want to be still feeling this way at 70 either. The bits I've highlighted in your post are how I felt. I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly I felt, but it was a sort of deep sadness, or I suppose feelings that my feet were walking on earth they didn't belong to or something. I became disengaged, because no matter what I did, I couldn't shake those feelings. We came back to the UK for a holiday, and getting on that plane back to Australia was one of the hardest things I've ever done. So, we decided to move back. However, we didn't move 'back' exactly, because we decided that we didn't just want to end up somewhere. In the end we looked at several areas of the UK, and are now living very happily in Scotland, somewhere we've not lived before. Sadly, OH and I have separated, but every day I am thankful for the fact I live here. My feet finally feel like they are walking on earth they belong to, and I feel this weird sort of inner peace or something, that I've not felt before. I think people sometimes underestimate the inner voice/needs/wants/desires or whatever it is inside that ties you to a place. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toots Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 7 hours ago, Phoenix16 said: This is such an interesting thread because firstly I had never ever thought about the points #marisawright has raised. Important basically. We came here living the dream and oh so niaive, we have loved every single minute up to recent points! My graduating as a Registered Nurse and actually not being able to get a job, anywhere, whatsoever, has been a blow and didn’t expect that given so many nurses still want to come out here??? Then, hubby hitting a massive health crisis, I’m not sure we do want to go home but trying times have made us truly reflect on the fact that we are all alone here. Hubby now has an auto immune disease that has a not great outlook, we get amazing treatment here (thank you HBF), but every single treatment we go through that is outpatient costs us, last month we spent over 1500 dollars on Mri’s, bone scans and xrays, it is all worth it to get seen and results so quickly, it is frustrating the results don’t lead to a resolution, we get the answers we really don’t want! I am so thankful we are able to access health treatment so quickly it’s just unfortunate for us the treatment isn’t the cure we hoped for!! We are at a little bit of a crisis point in terms of the future, it would seem easy to go ‘home’, I’m sure with a permanent move we could easily prove our permanent residency intention in the Uk, but I don’t believe he could get the treatment he gets here and the accessibility to health care and his specialist team that we have here. It Is the fact that we live here with no family support network that is making me reflect back on the UK, it’s not really that I miss it at all, it’s that it does feel very lonely trying to cope with all of this. If I do really reflect, I doubt we would get anymore help in the UK, both sets of parents are elderly and coping with their own health issues, that tends to be highlighted when we call them and we end up saying ‘everything’s wonderful here, just a little auto immune thing, nothing to worry about’ but how’s your hip, knee, leg, other body parts!!! It’s the choice we made, it’s the price we pay, but not sure if we were in the Uk we’d be getting anymore sympathy!!! Hey ho, onwards and upwards, just wanted to share, hopefully it helps with perspectives xxxxx I think it depends on the area. None of my friends and family in the UK have serious health problems but whenever they have needed health care, it has been very good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 16 hours ago, FeelingStuck said: Thanks Newstart - my husband has suggested the same thing: why don't we move states. I appreciate his efforts but I have lived in Melbourne and, well, it's not the UK. I haven't been to Tasmania and would certainly love to visit. I feel that if I absolutely can't return, I might have to try Tasmania - at least it would get me away from the heat. I know I won't make friends straight away, wherever we go, it does get harder, especially as you get older, and definitely don't want to just hang around my daughter and be a burden I am planning another trip at the end of this year, and depending how that goes, will be thinking of a "trial run" in a few years time when the kids are more independant - ie getting a job for 6-12 months and seeing how I feel. Tassie is beautiful .. hubby commented that if people missed they UK they should visit/move to Tassie - it reminded him of Wales. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelingStuck Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 18 hours ago, Phoenix16 said: This is such an interesting thread because firstly I had never ever thought about the points #marisawright has raised. Important basically. We came here living the dream and oh so niaive, we have loved every single minute up to recent points! My graduating as a Registered Nurse and actually not being able to get a job, anywhere, whatsoever, has been a blow and didn’t expect that given so many nurses still want to come out here??? Then, hubby hitting a massive health crisis, I’m not sure we do want to go home but trying times have made us truly reflect on the fact that we are all alone here. Hubby now has an auto immune disease that has a not great outlook, we get amazing treatment here (thank you HBF), but every single treatment we go through that is outpatient costs us, last month we spent over 1500 dollars on Mri’s, bone scans and xrays, it is all worth it to get seen and results so quickly, it is frustrating the results don’t lead to a resolution, we get the answers we really don’t want! I am so thankful we are able to access health treatment so quickly it’s just unfortunate for us the treatment isn’t the cure we hoped for!! We are at a little bit of a crisis point in terms of the future, it would seem easy to go ‘home’, I’m sure with a permanent move we could easily prove our permanent residency intention in the Uk, but I don’t believe he could get the treatment he gets here and the accessibility to health care and his specialist team that we have here. It Is the fact that we live here with no family support network that is making me reflect back on the UK, it’s not really that I miss it at all, it’s that it does feel very lonely trying to cope with all of this. If I do really reflect, I doubt we would get anymore help in the UK, both sets of parents are elderly and coping with their own health issues, that tends to be highlighted when we call them and we end up saying ‘everything’s wonderful here, just a little auto immune thing, nothing to worry about’ but how’s your hip, knee, leg, other body parts!!! It’s the choice we made, it’s the price we pay, but not sure if we were in the Uk we’d be getting anymore sympathy!!! Hey ho, onwards and upwards, just wanted to share, hopefully it helps with perspectives xxxxx I'm sorry your husband has ongoing health issues Phoenix. I wonder about whether the treatment are waiting times are in fact better in Aus or not. Everyone seems to say "oh you couldn't get in this fast to a specialist back in the UK" etc etc, don't they...., but then my dad's recently had 2 knee replacements in his 80s back in the UK, and he said the level of care he got was second to none, and didn't have a long wait time. Obviously depends on the area of the UK you're in I guess. And I have had to wait months to get in to see a neurosurgeon when I had bells palsy here in Perth - by the time I got in, the symptoms had cleared up! 15 hours ago, LKC said: The bits I've highlighted in your post are how I felt. I couldn't quite put my finger on what exactly I felt, but it was a sort of deep sadness, or I suppose feelings that my feet were walking on earth they didn't belong to or something. I became disengaged, because no matter what I did, I couldn't shake those feelings. We came back to the UK for a holiday, and getting on that plane back to Australia was one of the hardest things I've ever done. So, we decided to move back. However, we didn't move 'back' exactly, because we decided that we didn't just want to end up somewhere. In the end we looked at several areas of the UK, and are now living very happily in Scotland, somewhere we've not lived before. Sadly, OH and I have separated, but every day I am thankful for the fact I live here. My feet finally feel like they are walking on earth they belong to, and I feel this weird sort of inner peace or something, that I've not felt before. I think people sometimes underestimate the inner voice/needs/wants/desires or whatever it is inside that ties you to a place. "Feet walking on earth where they didn't belong" - that's what I think every day. Like I'm a visitor and somewhat unwelcome, or irrelevant or something, in what is supposed to be my home town. And yes, the feeling of inner peace when you're back where you belong! I'm reading a book, by Philip Marsden I think, about having a sense of belonging to a place and it's making me quite emotional! 16 hours ago, VERYSTORMY said: My wife has had on going long term dental issues. Spent over 10k in Oz after insurance. Pretty much resolved here at a cost of about 100. :0 :0 Gosh! Dental/orthodontic work is eye-wateringly expensive here; private health insurance hardly makes a dent in the bill. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BacktoDemocracy Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 On 10/2/2019 at 15:05, Phoenix16 said: This is such an interesting thread because firstly I had never ever thought about the points #marisawright has raised. Important basically. We came here living the dream and oh so niaive, we have loved every single minute up to recent points! My graduating as a Registered Nurse and actually not being able to get a job, anywhere, whatsoever, has been a blow and didn’t expect that given so many nurses still want to come out here??? Then, hubby hitting a massive health crisis, I’m not sure we do want to go home but trying times have made us truly reflect on the fact that we are all alone here. Hubby now has an auto immune disease that has a not great outlook, we get amazing treatment here (thank you HBF), but every single treatment we go through that is outpatient costs us, last month we spent over 1500 dollars on Mri’s, bone scans and xrays, it is all worth it to get seen and results so quickly, it is frustrating the results don’t lead to a resolution, we get the answers we really don’t want! I am so thankful we are able to access health treatment so quickly it’s just unfortunate for us the treatment isn’t the cure we hoped for!! We are at a little bit of a crisis point in terms of the future, it would seem easy to go ‘home’, I’m sure with a permanent move we could easily prove our permanent residency intention in the Uk, but I don’t believe he could get the treatment he gets here and the accessibility to health care and his specialist team that we have here. It Is the fact that we live here with no family support network that is making me reflect back on the UK, it’s not really that I miss it at all, it’s that it does feel very lonely trying to cope with all of this. If I do really reflect, I doubt we would get anymore help in the UK, both sets of parents are elderly and coping with their own health issues, that tends to be highlighted when we call them and we end up saying ‘everything’s wonderful here, just a little auto immune thing, nothing to worry about’ but how’s your hip, knee, leg, other body parts!!! It’s the choice we made, it’s the price we pay, but not sure if we were in the Uk we’d be getting anymore sympathy!!! Hey ho, onwards and upwards, just wanted to share, hopefully it helps with perspectives xxxxx Completely recognise what you are saying, coming back doesn't mean that you are any more in touch with people, just see them more but not really more connected, I personally find the NHS in ENGLAND is just degrading all the time, it is now much more an emergency service, doesn't seem , for me anyway, to do very much in managing long term stuff and is obsessed with penny pinching. I recognise a lot of what you say, is there any way of getting into the local community, support group's for your husbands condition We came back 5 years ago after 10 years there in brisbane, I had a knee replacement and AF whilst there which Australia dealt with better than here, but l/we. Are finding the winters a challenge, we realy do miss the sun and the warm and the bird life,. It must be very trying having to try and make a judgement about what is best whilst facing such difficulty I would really make some in depth enquiries before you decided to come back, I feel certain there will be a support group in the UK and you would be able to get info from them and other members, especially in this era of electronic media Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix16 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 19 minutes ago, BacktoDemocracy said: Completely recognise what you are saying, coming back doesn't mean that you are any more in touch with people, just see them more but not really more connected, I personally find the NHS in ENGLAND is just degrading all the time, it is now much more an emergency service, doesn't seem , for me anyway, to do very much in managing long term stuff and is obsessed with penny pinching. I recognise a lot of what you say, is there any way of getting into the local community, support group's for your husbands condition We came back 5 years ago after 10 years there in brisbane, I had a knee replacement and AF whilst there which Australia dealt with better than here, but l/we. Are finding the winters a challenge, we realy do miss the sun and the warm and the bird life,. It must be very trying having to try and make a judgement about what is best whilst facing such difficulty I would really make some in depth enquiries before you decided to come back, I feel certain there will be a support group in the UK and you would be able to get info from them and other members, especially in this era of electronic media Thank you! I think you understood the essence of my post and it’s really appreciated. My concerns were never about the quality of treatment we would receive in the UK, my mum recently got diagnosed with heart failure and cannot praise the service enough. I am comparing our ability to see specialists very quickly, get appointments with GP’s literally on the day which is vital for the meds my hubby takes, just generally the accessibility to specialists and services that we have here in oz, granted I appreciate much of it is because we have a great private health policy but I cannot imagine waiting 2 weeks and more to see a GP, it’s a worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LKC Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 20 minutes ago, Phoenix16 said: Thank you! I think you understood the essence of my post and it’s really appreciated. My concerns were never about the quality of treatment we would receive in the UK, my mum recently got diagnosed with heart failure and cannot praise the service enough. I am comparing our ability to see specialists very quickly, get appointments with GP’s literally on the day which is vital for the meds my hubby takes, just generally the accessibility to specialists and services that we have here in oz, granted I appreciate much of it is because we have a great private health policy but I cannot imagine waiting 2 weeks and more to see a GP, it’s a worry. To some extent things like waiting times for GP appointments probably varies by area. We are in Scotland (where I appreciate it is a bit different), and I can see a GP on the same day, should I want to. For routine appointments there is a lead time, but it isn't even close to two weeks. My nan struggles to see a GP in Birmingham, but that is due to the limited availability that my sister has to be able to take her (she can only do it outside working hours), rather than lack of appointments, if that makes sense. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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