thinker78

Not really i'm afraid - 'outstanding' schools can be crap (one of ours got done for serious safeguarding concerns) whilst others which show as RI (requires improvement) can be fabulous. Best off looking at a couple, asking for local opinions and going with your gut. Demographics certainly affect things, as does the ability to get into schools in general - sometimes your choice is limited by logistics. I wouldn't just look at results. I'm sending mine to a school which shows as RI still even thought it's fabulous, and churns out happy, well-rounded kids. I chose it based on the needs of my child, the fact it has little to no bullying and focuses on all the good stuff. If you just looked at Ofsted, you'd never get a clear picture of a school. Good luck!

I saw another concerned parent this week worried about bringing kids back to the UK system. It can be tricky fitting kids in regarding birthdays and school years etc The school years run differently obviously, and the UK runs a 1st September to 31st August dating policy. It is extremely rare to find a UK school who will hold kids back. When we returned in 2015, I was shocked to find my 'just started reception' Aussie, born in August, was expected to enter Year 2. Effectively, she'd missed most of Key Stage 1. She was unable to read or write or sit still for long periods and yet had to enter a year which saw them prepare for SATS. I was horrified and stressed, and felt awful for her. However, here we are, as she's finishing Year 6 primary (still the youngest in her year!) and she's holding her own. She's even won a selected place at a local high school. Why? Because if you get into a good school in the UK, they will do everything in their power to get them up to speed. She's had loads of extra support, and still does. Most 'good' schools will be concerned that their stats look good - sounds harsh but it's true. They don't want kids failing, and they don't leave anyone behind. We lucked in with our school, who worked closely with me from day one to get her up to speed. The curriculum here is full-on but stimulating. I love the topics they do and have enjoyed helping her extend learning on things I can actually relate to. She probably does less sports here but that's personal choice, there's still loads on offer. My loud, slightly feral illiterate Aussie will leave UK primary well rounded, engaged and doing well Brit. I find the system challenging - teachers have enormous pressure to make the kids progress - but they also have the drive to help the less able achieve. Please don't worry - just find a good, supportive school who will work with you. Kids adapt. It's a different culture and your kids shouldn't expect things to be the same. Positives and negatives both sides but there is definitely a sense of support here with the right school. Good luck to all parents returning x

I should say i was there almost 9 years and like a lot of people was bored in the end. And no, I'm NOT a boring person but it was more of the same each year, and I am never bored here.

Back 4 year no regets. Don't think of Australia at all now, would like to be able to visit but won't for a few more years due to time and money. Also enjoying visiting places in the UK and Europe. Can't see me ever living back there but open minded as you never know what life is going to bring. I feel like I fit in here and i've had a wonderful 4 years full of the good stuff in life - yes it's hard, yes winter can suck a bit but overall, love it

The general vibe here is that they don't like holding kids back. I've never come across it. You'll find things a bit different here. Kids grow up faster and it's not necessarily a good thing but just the way it is. The focus on academic stuff is more critical. I've lots to moan about - not being allowed to take your kids on holiday without getting fined, the ridiculous curriculum, the government cutbacks which have severely impacted schools - but overall I am still so glad mine went to school here. The teachers are brilliant, the pastoral care has been superb. I prefer the curriculum - I relate to the history, languages and culture. I think the Australian system is more relaxed - possibly a good thing but I can't fault our experience here. A good school will support children with additional needs or background issues. The 'free' system here, if you're in an ok area, seemed to me much better than the public schools we had on offer down under. My understanding is that year 9 is now critical as this is when they begin to study for GCSEs - not year 10, as was back in the day. So you do need to time things for that really. It's easier in primary. Good luck

hi. I returned in 2015 with a child who had done just half a term of formal education in Oz reception! As an August baby, she was also screwed as had to enter Year 2, therefore effectively missing the whole first 2 years of schooling. I was so stressed - not only could she not read or write, she was not used to sitting down for long periods and was used to being outdoors a lot. Fast forward 4 years.... She is now in her final year of primary. Effectively where as most british kids have 7 years of primary schooling she has had just 5. She is also still the youngest in her class. The school have been brilliant with her - she's had a lot of one to one support, and is currently doing great in literacy and all other subject areas. Not the best, not top of the class, but on a par with her peers. Maths has and always has been a struggle. Hard to tell if it's because she missed two years of education or if she's just pants at maths. UK maths curriculum is full on and hard though! As we end her primary career, I can only say we've had a positive experience despite a) school years going against her and b) being youngest in her class. You'll find the UK system (for the most part) is more clued up on SEN and catch ups - they seem to put more resources into this. I'd say schools are more onto things here, although the focus on SATS at the end of primary is stressful. Kids are adaptable. The stress now seems misplaced. Overall, she's had wonderful schooling here. UK being cheaper - depends where you live! South is expensive. Some things much cheaper than Oz, others on a par. Move somewhere with ok house prices and you'll be ok. Good luck!

It's hard to believe that this weekend is my 4 year anniversary of being home. This will probably be my last post as I rarely come on here now. The door to Oz is well and truly shut and I don't even peak around it anymore. Any regrets? No. Has it been easy? Not always- but is life always easy? Does the UK grate? Sometimes - we live in a busy, overpopulated area and I can't really afford to be here. British politics - what a time to return - you couldn't make up what we're living through. But what have we gained? Belonging. Memories. Experiences. Laughter. Connection. Inspiration. Appreciation. Opportunity. Friends. Family. I never consider that Australia is something we'll regret leaving, but occasionally I miss the sunshine. Only occasionally, because after the recent hot spell in the UK I remembered just how hideous it was dealing with 35+ days for months on end. So that's it really. Home is still home. Always will be. Peace is worth more than a dream... Best of luck all x

I filled in the immigration cards, not sure why, possibly due to tiredness and jetlag, and when I gave them to the passport person she was like 'you don't need these- you're home'. it was immense. I had not been to the UK for over 3 years, and had been living in Australia for 9. The first day felt surreal indeed. I don't think we did much. Everything seemed so small and busy and it took a while to adjust.

I have lived all over Australia so am well aware that there are things to do outside of camping and bbqs. However, overall, there is just not as much of it. And that's a fair point, as Australia does some things really well but are more limited in others - same goes here. I miss the wineries, festivals and free events, but I still feel that for me personally there is more to do here in line with what i love. I had a lovely time for some of my years there but even when I was younger and able to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted (see pre kids) I still had a feeling of 'is this it?'. I always wanted that feeling to go away, because I wanted Australia to be enough. I don't get that feeling here or in Europe as you can spend years in those countries gradually peeling back the layers and still not have enough time. I genuinely missed being stimulated by history and culture. I really tried to find that down under but as a new country, it's obviously going to lack certain things. Here just feels more connected to how I think - even the seasons are round the right way and that now seems to be important the older I get. If I ever went back, I would certainly choose somewhere with more vibrancy than where I left but simply could not imagine my twilight years there. But we are all different, and want different things. For many migrants, it becomes one of the biggest life lessons they go through - it clarifies what is important to them, and that in itself is an amazing lesson to have experienced.

It's not a competition. Personally, after 10 years in Australia, I felt I had done everything that could be done. I'm in no way boring. But I am interested in the arts, culture, history, walking etc. All things which there's just more of here in the UK. If you're outdoors and love camping and all that sort of thing, Australia is great. Turns out I have a child who is also non sporty and loves nothing more than pottering around a national trust property or going to a castle for the day. It takes all sorts. We all like different things. Some people are happy with a backyard and bbq social life - that wasn't for me in the end. But great if you like it. Yes, the UK has its issues and I worry but I'd rather 'live' and do the things we like than feel empty. Which is what I felt there. Asia has no interest for me, but great if that floats your boat. Children do well wherever, if encouraged.

I have been back almost 4 years (gone in a flash) and wish you good luck. RE citizenship, you need to meet ALL requirements including the amount of time you've spent outside of Australia in the immediate 12 months before applying. Please double check your movements as i know several people caught out plus yes, you absolutely do have to attend the ceremony. Children are only citizens if they are born in Oz to at least one parent with PR. If they were born on temporary visas then no. I''m afraid the UK has changed greatly in the last 10 years and you will notice differences. We are living in politically unstable times, but that being said, I believe everywhere has its issues and they are for the most part global. However, you may notice certain things which, when I came back in 2010, were simply not around. I say this objectively as I love the UK and do not miss Oz at all, but 10 years of austerity have certainly taken their toll. Like you, I am very happy that my child is growing up experiencing all the delights of UK culture and history and feel that from here the world is their oyster. Where as in Oz, our lives were very boring and limited. I would say that we are busier here, and our lives richer, but certain things are more difficult. However, I personally do not hanker after anything in Australia. It is odd, as I spent almost 10 years there, and it feels like a chapter which never happened. I have found education to be more full on here but better. I'd say I (and child) can relate to the curriculum more in terms of things studied and opportunities, and I'd say children grow up faster here - not preferable, but they do seem more switched on. We had a great summer last year - this one doesn't look like it's going to hit the same spot, but I still find post Xmas really hard. The lack of light more than heat - I advise taking Vit D if you need it. I would never swap the proximity of friends, family, the feeling of 'getting' things and 'fitting in' and people having the same sense of humour. Also, the TV is just excellent at the moment! Good luck. I'm sure you won't regret it but do double check things if you want citizenship. the travel facility on PR only lasts 5 years.

yes your eldest is most definitely habitually resident in oz. if you took him for a holiday and didn't go back, dad could easily lodge under the hague. in theory you'd have to let your eldest then return if he was successful - it's not about the mum, just the kids, but it's extremely rare that people will choose not to return if their kids have to. I'm afraid if you don't get consent you'd have to seek legal advice but i believe that you don't have a strong case in terms of your eldest. They are most definitely australian and Australian courts are very supportive of the australian parent and child - other countries aren't quite so harsh but Aus and NZ are both quite harsh. You need permission or maybe stay in the relationship. Why is he so adamant he will never live in the UK? Maybe look at his reasons and talk about them. Maybe agree to do it for a few years etc. Perhaps he knows that once in the UK you won't want to leave and your kids will then be habitually resident there. I'm afraid youre in a bit of a bind, but you're not the first. Get some support from the group. They are very helpful.

Having researched it over a number of years, quite often it's applied regardless of individual circumstance. There are SO many people who are stuck, where the other parent has used it as a form of control, and where they don't support or see their children at all. Unfortunately international relationships and migration can present serious problems when things in a relationship go pear shaped. However, if you read lots of these cases, the law has been applied harshlly or the other parent has never been made to be accountable once the children are 'kept' in the country of residence. It gets really complicated where people migrate and suddenly habitual residence shifts- this can be a matter of months- and if you then decide you want to 'go home' you're stuck and so are the kids.

Unfortunately the Hague Convention is a nasty piece of outdated legislation. Australia has MANY mothers stuck onshore for this exact reason - and the courts in Oz are very harsh. I'm afraid Oz is your child's 'habitual residence' and unless he grants permission, it's unlikely to go in your favour in court. There are however support groups in place - some women are in terrible situations with no visa status and living in hostels, quite often the other parent doesn't even see the kids. There is a group called Globalaark who fight for parents who are 'stuck'. They can put you in touch with a local co-ordinator, if you feel you need some support. The other option is of course to try and reconcile with your other half, but it's hard when the resentment is there. But it's probably the better option. I'm sorry. So many people (and i'm speaking for the women here and in most cases it's them but i'm aware both parents can be affected) do not realise this when having children or taking children to Australia. It's really screwed a lot of people over, and the blanket law is harsh and not what it was originally intended for. I hope you can find some support. You may be in for their childhoods down under. Take care.

We swim in the sea in the UK in summer...there are plenty of places you can do that

oh yes and of course rabies jabs are needed! you need to check out the period of time required for this!

I took my mini foxie back to the UK from Adelaide. They fly to melbourne first, then stop somewhere else half way, then onto heathrow. they are then in heathrow a few hours before you can collect them. I think they get checked out by a Vet in melbourne and london. They do not leave their cages once leaving Australia. They recommend no food for a certain period before their journey. You are allowed to pack a favourite blanket and toys and an item of your clothing etc. I'm sure it's not very nice. Mine is a super nervous dog and took a few days to recover. I used Jet Pets from Adelaide and they were good.

The one thing I can say is that I laugh here. And value my old friends so much more. Although life is busy and we're all raising our families, it's comforting to know they are there. Just down the road. And I can call upon them if I need to. And most importantly there is a sense of history and I can be myself. Homesickness can be completing debilitating. When it hits, it floors you. CBT can help - one thing Aus does do well is mental health. Get to your GP and ask for a referral- you can get up to 12 sessions with a psychologist.

I came back 3.5 years ago with a 6 year old. My child had only know Australia. Positives - state education better. If you get a good school, you're quids in. I was shocked by the general standard of her Aussie primary, although often berate the focus on performance here. However, overall, I honestly think the 'free' education is better here in a good school. We are now looking at high schools and again, I'm more comfortable with what we have on offer here. I knew that in SA it was either fork out for private or try and attempt one of the abysmal public high schools. Friends - it took some time to rebuild old friendships but mostly it's been ace. We have WAY more here, and we've made new ones, even with the neighbours! something unheard of from my time in oz- shutters went up, and i never knew who I was living next to. We have busy, full lives and the sense of loneliness has disappeared. Stuff to do- whilst others may berate the weather, we've not really stopped doing things. We're not sporty and enjoy outdoor pools during the summer months, but we've done more here than there that's for sure. We joined English Heritage and the National Trust, and have done the free london museums and other exciting things. After my child acclimatised culturally she said once 'all we did in Australia was play in the yard'. It did feel like that at times, as we had to drive everywhere, we had barely any friends (not through trying) and lived in suburban hell. Family - yes, it's been amazing reconnecting and seeing my child build life long bonds and memories with all her extended family. She's met and spent time with her great grandmother, had holidays with cousins and is the apple of her grandparents eye. I feel that this has benefitted so much long term. It was so lonely in Australia, and everyone has enjoyed being part of her life here. Negatives- life can be hard here. I don't know your circumstances but the UK in some parts is struggling. If you're poor, it's not a great place to be. If you're ok, you'll be ok. I find people nicer to work with and easier to break into work or social circles. Weather- sure, after Xmas it's pants until Spring BUT to me not unbearable. We still get some beautiful weather, it's just cold. Politics- it's a crazy time here and you can't escape the constant Brexit bollocks. From pathetic 'everything's ok mate' news down under, it's the other extreme. We may be in for a bumpy ride down post Brexit or we may not. The world as a whole is struggling, but we've had austerity so you're likely to see a lot of homelessness and hear some shocking stories. This has massively increased even since I returned in 2015. However, in some parts of the country you wouldn't notice anything was wrong. When I holidayed in Sussex last summer it was a world of perfect ignorance - so it depends where you're choosing to settle. Hand on heart I miss absolutely nothing about Australia (was there 9 years). You can get good coffee here now which was the clincher haha. I say all this and i've had mega hard times since coming back. I'm still struggling BUT the thought of living somewhere without my 'tribe' or my own culture - much worse imo. That's just me. Big Aussie houses are like guilded cages. I used to look around my massive 4 x 2 thinking I had everything but as time went on, I had nothing at all. I'm not a parent of an SEN child but have seen over the years on here that the UK are way ahead for support here. You may need to check this out. When you first migrate, you don't anticipate life or yourself changing. You can't imagine parents ageing or how that's going to feel or how it's going to be watching your kids grow up just with you and no other family. For some of us, that becomes debilitating change and floors us. No easy answer, but many of us have been there x

hello. just my 2 cents/pence worth. Re your daughter- someone on here also hit that issue with their kids residency re uni - some unis offer a bit of flexibility but in her case, her child ended up going to uni in Holland at a fraction of the cost (about 3000 quid per year as opposed to 9000)- courses taught in english etc. worth looking into although Brexit may possibly alter some things. always worth contacting unis direct re international fees.

You do forget. What always mesmerises me about the UK is that you get seasonal amnesia. Like now, it's practically impossible to remember the long hot summer of 2018. It's hard to recall sweating it out in June-Sept, wishing for a bit of rain. Which, imo, we've barely seen really in the South East. The way you get through a UK winter is similar for me to the Aussie summer- get out when you can, wear appropriate clothing and enjoy doing indoors stuff. However, I've still been able to run outside for the most part of this winter. It's only snow which will stop me, but we barely get any of that. I've re-acquainted myself with the seasons and take them for what they are. I get a bit narky around March, but as soon as we hit double figures again it's all good. It does take a bit of time to get in the swing though. Take some Vit D cos that can help. Some positive things about winter - fires, walking in the woods, central heating, soup making, roast dinners, pubs, beautiful sunrises and sun sets, saving up your energy for spring summer and the longer days, going round people's houses, looking at nature, making plans, hot baths, hot chocolate after a chilly walk, museums, hats, coats, scarves and snow!!! xx

Definitely and remember your kids are bound to pick up on your negativity. largely mine has been very positive about the transition as i've consistently pointed out the awesome stuff we do in the UK, immersed ourselves in things unique to here, and the way of life here. she does moan about now in January but who doesn't?! but it would be the same if we were in 47 degree Adelaide- we'd be indoors watching movies except sweating. the more you look for positives the more you will find. can i just say also- it's our 4th winter and it's never been that bad. Because uk seasons don't last that long, and you know the next one will come around soon enough. winter 2018 was probably the coldest but that only lasted a few weeks. i have family in Poland who positively laugh at our winters so.....

We've all been there but I honest to goodness think you'd find that a few years into Aussie life, the same problems would rear their heads. chances are you may never feel settled (although many ping pongers get it out of their system at some point) and you've not even been here a year! There is no perfect place and kids take a while- mine now embraces winter as much as the other seasons as we focus on other stuff. I appreciate that not everyone is into what we are and may prefer to outside doing sports, but never forget that a brisbane summer also renders some of the day useless too from heat. I did a few pings and when i ponged I knew i was done- it's a bit like when people describe having their last child and 'knowing' that's it for them. After going back and forth I knew where home was and knew i'd be happy to do a long UK stint. I dont miss Australia BUT even with this feeling it still took us about a year to get into the groove of UK life. We'd been away longer than you and felt like complete outsiders. However, 3.5 years on and it's all good. I'd personally give it a bit longer. If you've small kids it's no biggie. high school kids are a harder move. good luck.

The answer is absolutely yes. Time goes so fast and the pull of family only increases if you're the kind of person who likes or needs their family. Plenty of us have had kids down under and it's absolutely no fun. It's no fun in the early years, when all you want is someone to help you or give you a bit of a break or share the good and bad. It's no fun as your kids grow and there's no family around to watch them grow or love them. It's lonely and no amount of sunshine makes up for it. I can only say, I returned when my child was 5 and i've never for one moment regretted it. The bond they now have with my family is something unachievable on skype and the odd holiday. The baby years were a blur as i was so tired with no back up. I received good maternity care in Australia, and depending on where you live in the UK, you can get crap or good care. Same in Australia. Friends had shocking care in some parts of Aus, some friends crap care in the UK. The NHS is under significant strain, but some public hospitals in Aus are also on the poor side. I came back 3.5 years ago and i've had a wonderful time. I've never laughed so much. Or done so much. I am not rose tinted though as the UK is going through a really hard time. Austerity has almost destroyed it, and yet it's home. It can be hard here, depending on your circumstances, but family and friends make up for any gripes. I have never thought about going back to Australia to live, although occasionally I feel i'd like to visit. I wish you luck and hope you can come to a decision soon x

You can have 4 year olds doing part time, so that's something to consider. Reception is mostly play, so most 4 year olds, although i still think it's too young, seem to cope ok. They start at 3 full time in spain and france! We had to cope with the transition from Reception (australia) to Year 2! My child couldn't even read or write and had no grasp of maths at all- the school were brilliant at helping her catch up and she managed to sit her Year 2 SATS with all the other kids. 2 years back in the UK and she's middle of the class, which for an August born, is great. Be mindful that primary is quite full on here- the government have made silly changes which means all the curriculum is shunted down so for example, a year 3 child is now doing work which used to be expected of a year 4 or 5 child. It's not ideal, but again, most kids seem to be coping ok. It's definitely not as laid back as Australian primary, but that could be seen as a good or bad thing depending on your views.