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Hi all I joined PIO back in Jan 2017, after my first trip back to the UK in nearly 30 years. I had felt desperately homesick and unhappy for a number of years here in Perth, and was really seriously hoping the long-awaited trip home would cure me of my longing to move back, because otherwise I knew I'd have a big problem. Unfortunately, as soon as we cleared passport control and stepped on the tube at Heathrow, I was happy as Larry. LOVED the cold crisp air, and the immediate feeling of 'welcome home'. Anyway, I had a good moan on PIO once we returned to Perth, and discovered to my great surprise just how many people feel the same. In the 2 years since our holiday back, my feelings have not changed. I just cannot settle back in Perth, I HATE the heat, and I HATE the bland boring northern suburb where we live. I got myself so upset reading all the posts on here that I decided to step away and de-register, but now I find I'm torturing myself again, reading people's success stories/not so successful stories of moving back home. I read a post - on here I think - that started like this " A feeling deep in the core of my being that I need to return to my homeland. An ache that never goes away " . It was about missing Scotland, and I don't wanted to potentially upset whoever originally wrote that, so won't quote the whole thing, but it completely and utterly sums up how I feel. It's not even family I miss, it really is the place itself. (My mum and brother are out here as well; it's just my dad and stepmum left in the UK) I have tried to explain to my husband how I feel, but I feel I'm either not doing a very good job of getting my point across; or he just can't/won't understand. He is a died-in-the-wool Aussie through and through, LOVES Australia, thinks it's the best place on earth, etc. If I say I miss the little British villages and pubs, his answer is "but there are country towns and pubs in Australia". Agreed, there are, but it's just not what I'm after - and to be honest in my opinion if you've seen one little Australian town, you've seen them all. I don't know if we'll stay together longterm, as his ideal future is retiring and travelling around Australia in a caravan. That's my idea of hell. I feel like I'm marking time in Perth, and struggling to actually engage properly. I go to work, and try to keep busy. I haven't managed to make what I'd consider close friends, just acquaintances and 'work friends'. I cry a hell of a lot and have anxiety and depression. We've got 2 Australian born children, aged 16 and 17. My daughter would LOVE to live in England, and said she really felt at home there. My son, whilst he enjoyed the holiday, definitely does not want to move. And my husband would never leave his beloved Australia, plus his large extended Australian family. I wonder if you have to leave a place, to really appreciate it properly? I mean I always did like the green countryside, the sound of the dawn chorus, church bells, lovely old buildings , the history, country walks, country pubs, the English sense of humour, etc, etc, etc, but I don't think I REALLY understood how deeply attached my soul was and is to all these things until I'd been gone a few years. So what do I do? Wait until the kids are off my hands, leave my husband, and move back? I don't want us to split up; but he'll never understand my deep unhappiness. Could I leave my then adult kids in Australia and move back? I think it'd be too much of a wrench. So I'm stuck aren't I I understand that I chose to move out here, and my husband wasn't aware I would some day want to move back. This is not what he signed up for, I realise that. I just wish I wasn't so unhappy and homesick. If I could take a pill to make me just forget the UK even exists, I think I'd take it. Sorry for the ramblings. I just need to get it off my chest!