Suicide?

[Phoenix16]

I know that this is a deep question, but when it's got so low has anyone ever contemplated this? Can you be finanancially secure yet still get them moments when you think about it? Does having children make you think twice about thinking about it? Or can you get so low that nothing can change how you think about it? Is it a mental illness? is it deliberate? Is it momentary loss of thought? Is there really help out there?

[Becks22]

As a mental health professional, I can tell you that there is no straight answer to this question, we are all different and the reasons behind suicide are sometimes the most rational, other times (in the vast majority of cases) the complete opposite. However, no matter what the tiggers are or how rational something seems, there is always help available. No problem is so insurmountable or a mood so low that with support things cannot improve. No one should be alone or feel alone if they experience such thoughts. If things that would normally make you feel happy no longer make you feel happy then the likelihood is that depression is to blame. This is a serious mental illness if left untreated and believe me, suicide, no matter who you have around you is devastating in its consequences. I can also assure you that complete strangers, who deal with the aftermath, are always affected too. The world is never better off without you no matter how much your brain thinks it. Depression has a handy knack at twisting the truth until you cannot see whats real any more. Whether you feel this way, someone you know, or this post is just about curiosity, please be assured people can help no matter when these thoughts occur.

[Parley]

I was reading a terrible story in the paper yesterday of a young mum who jumped off a cliff holding her baby killing them both.

 

It really is upsetting when this sort of thing happens, particularly when they decide to kill someone else and then themself.

[Que Sera Sera]

Suicidal thoughts go hand in hand with depression in my experience. Trying to think of a way you can do it without causing too much pain to yourself physically and mentally to your loved ones whilst " realising" they'd all be far better off without you around, and most people wouldn't miss you anyway. Pretty certain finances don't come into it for some but definately could be a potential trigger for many. A very deep dark and horrible place to live in for sure. If anyone ever experiences these thoughts even for a nano second then a trip to the Doctors should always happen asap IME & opinion.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Que Sera Sera

[Guest]

I know that this is a deep question, but when it's got so low has anyone ever contemplated this? Can you be finanancially secure yet still get them moments when you think about it? Does having children make you think twice about thinking about it? Or can you get so low that nothing can change how you think about it? Is it a mental illness? is it deliberate? Is it momentary loss of thought? Is there really help out there?

As someone who has been affected by suicide (my father committed suicide). My daughter tried and my mother several times when i was growing up. Please if these thoughts are what you are thinking or feeling get some help. You have no idea the aftermath of suicide the guilt is overwheming. the wondering why never stops....Forty years since my father took his life and i still don't understand why? Growing up thinking it was my fault. I wasn't good enough to make him stay. I no longer feel it was me but it's taken a long time to get to that point. Depression is not to be taken lightly. Please get help if these thoughts are yours. For your sake and your family.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Guest

[BritChickx]

I have a couple of times felt very low - probably depressed because it continued for months - but ive never contemplated suicide. I had lost the will for a lot of things but being staying alive wasnt one of them.

[Phoenix16]

Suicidal thoughts go hand in hand with depression in my experience. Trying to think of a way you can do it without causing too much pain to yourself physically and mentally to your loved ones whilst " realising" they'd all be far better off without you around, and most people wouldn't miss you anyway. Pretty certain finances don't come into it for some but definately could be a potential trigger for many. A very deep dark and horrible place to live in for sure. If anyone ever experiences these thoughts even for a nano second then a trip to the Doctors should always happen asap IME & opinion.

 

thank you, lovely words and very honest, and very true xxxx

[LKC]

I thought about it at one point. I have had depression, sometimes severely, for more than half of my life. I'm okay at the moment, but at times I have been very badly affected by it. I felt that everyone would be better off without me and, in fact, wished that I had never been born. On paper I have the perfect life, but when you are depressed that doesn't factor at all.

 

I am fairly sure that even though I thought about it I wouldn't have carried it through. I have two wonderful children and a husband who I could never leave, but I have certainly been so depressed that it has crossed my mind.

 

I am good at the moment though, in fact I am great and have no depression or anxiety symptoms at all. I would definitely recommend a visit to the GP for help if you are thinking these things. If you are feeling desperately suicidal and are in danger of carrying it through please call an ambulance or go to A&E. They will help you without judgement.

[Phoenix16]

I thought about it at one point. I have had depression, sometimes severely, for more than half of my life. I'm okay at the moment, but at times I have been very badly affected by it. I felt that everyone would be better off without me and, in fact, wished that I had never been born. On paper I have the perfect life, but when you are depressed that doesn't factor at all.

 

I am fairly sure that even though I thought about it I wouldn't have carried it through. I have two wonderful children and a husband who I could never leave, but I have certainly been so depressed that it has crossed my mind.

 

I am good at the moment though, in fact I am great and have no depression or anxiety symptoms at all. I would definitely recommend a visit to the GP for help if you are thinking these things. If you are feeling desperately suicidal and are in danger of carrying it through please call an ambulance or go to A&E. They will help you without judgement.

 

thank you for sharing your thoughts, it means so much to me xxx

[BritChickx]

thank you for sharing your thoughts, it means so much to me xxx

 

Big hugs to you :hug:

And all those who have battled and are battling depression.

[bell123321]

I have had severe depression but at the time I didn't know I had and just thought it was normal the way I was feeling. It was only say a year later when my circumstances changed that I realised I depressetely should have gone to the doctors but at the time I thought it was normal. I have as a teenager harmed myself not for attention as most assume as I did so in places I covered up but more so because I was going through a bad childhood and wanted a way to realise anger built up inside. Though I never thought of suicide I did feel sad and depressed.

[HappyHeart]

I think to feel suicidal is a step beyond 'normal depression' and suicidal thoughts though they may never be acted on need to be managed/explored with professional help.

I don't think I've ever been depressed, truly clinically depressed, certainly never contemplated suicide...but I have worked with suicidal people and had friends battling demons. In my experience/opinion this is an urgent mental health priority, a disorder at a biochemical level that no amount of 'talking' can help without appropriate medication under the supervision of a psychologist or psychiatrist. Take it seriously and treat it as you would a physical disorder. Something that can be treated and improved upon. Psychological therapy an essential part of any treatment plan but often the severely depressed need that chemical imbalance fixing first off before any talking therapy can have any real impact.

[Johndoe]

Jessie, don't even think about it love. I sense that you have contemplated it and the questions that you pose, are those that hold you back...................and that's commendable, because you're thinking of others when you yourself are struggling.

 

There is no "one size fits all" as those who struggle with depression all have their own individual demons, even though at times, we don't know what they are. In fact, sometimes we never know.............depression is not just a mental illness as it can be caused by "chemical imbalance" which relates to your "financially secure" question in that even when life and relationships are OK, you can still feel depressed/suicidal

 

I come from an abusive childhood, raised in abusive care, and struggled for years with my demons, my first attempt at suicide being when I was 20, and 2 more attempts before 25. I had a number of years after CBT where I "stabilised" and even though times were tough, I did OK. Strangely enough, when my life was "on track" and I couldn't have asked for more, the suicidal thoughts hit me again. Back to CBT after an horrendous course of ECT and eventually, I was "cruising along".

 

Despite just "cruising", what prevented me from suiciding, was not that I didn't think about committing it, but how it would impact those I loved. Not their initial trauma, but as Chicken 66 alluded to, the guilt/stigma that they may carry for the rest of their lives. Was my situation so desperate that I couldn't struggle through/cope rather than visit that upon them? I thought about it nearly every day, I had all I ever wanted in my family, but I still thought about it, but refrained.

 

20 yrs free and it hit me again. Luckily, I was used as a case study and the right meds prescribed, after trying so many that seemed to make me worse and I once again, was free from the thoughts

 

20 yrs on, due to a broken 30yr marriage, the thought once again hit me, but this time, I had more clarity of thought due to the long term meds. There's no way I will desert my kids who live with me, and, despite the hurt she's visited on me, I would never have my ex thinking that she was to blame.

 

There are those who are "so far gone" that they can't even see/think how their suicide would impact others, and I would never cast blame on them, because their plight/condition was/is likely so much worse than mine, but I will say this, the fact that you have "reached out" tells me that you are not that far gone, so keep reaching out, be it to your GP, friends, us here on PIO, or even, when you are so low, to A&E. Just tell them how you feel, you don't need a broken leg for them to treat you, they will advise.

 

I've had a few drinkies tonight, but hopefully am lucid enough to let you know that you are not alone with these thoughts, and indeed, not alone when you want help with them.

 

Is it a mental illness? Not in the sense that "mental illness" is portrayed in movies eg, psychopathic, sociopathic, but yes, depression is invariably a mental illness

 

is it deliberate? No, it's either a result of what is troubling you, or a chemical imbalance, and to even contemplate that it is deliberate, would likely add to your depression via lack of self worth, so cast that aside

 

Is it momentary loss of thought? not loss of thought, as the thoughts can be quite overwhelming, but it can be fleeting, although re-occurring, and it can be lack of "clarity of thought" but when you're depressed, nothing is clear

 

Is there really help out there? Yes there is, and you've taken the first step.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Johndoe

[Que Sera Sera]

I think to feel suicidal is a step beyond 'normal depression' and suicidal thoughts though they may never be acted on need to be managed/explored with professional help.

I don't think I've ever been depressed, truly clinically depressed, certainly never contemplated suicide...but I have worked with suicidal people and had friends battling demons. In my experience/opinion this is an urgent mental health priority, a disorder at a biochemical level that no amount of 'talking' can help without appropriate medication under the supervision of a psychologist or psychiatrist. Take it seriously and treat it as you would a physical disorder. Something that can be treated and improved upon. Psychological therapy an essential part of any treatment plan but often the severely depressed need that chemical imbalance fixing first off before any talking therapy can have any real impact.

 

Absolutely and with no stigma and with none of the old medication that was addictive. Not a high just a gentle rise from a dark place on a temporary basis. Just like healng a pulled muscle. Giving the stressed part of the brain a short break to heal itself.

[HappyHeart]

Absolutely and with no stigma and with none of the old medication that was addictive. Not a high just a gentle rise from a dark place on a temporary basis. Just like healng a pulled muscle. Giving the stressed part of the brain a short break to heal itself.

I've seen it in action and it's quite miraculous. Like John Doe says though those 'too far gone' need all measures put in place to keep them safe...there is no rational thought..no clarity of thought just a very desperately unwell person. I am far from an expert in mental health in fact find suicidal people the most challenging patients to work with but have found strategies to help me and them and the fear for a partner/carer or health professional is huge. Never underestimate your place in the world. Never underestimate your true meaning. You are so important, more than you can dream. Suicide is not the answer.

Edited March 27, 2016 by HappyHeart

[newjez]

I know that this is a deep question, but when it's got so low has anyone ever contemplated this? Can you be finanancially secure yet still get them moments when you think about it? Does having children make you think twice about thinking about it? Or can you get so low that nothing can change how you think about it? Is it a mental illness? is it deliberate? Is it momentary loss of thought? Is there really help out there?

 

 

Thought about it a lot in my teens. I was a child of ping pong poms. Never tried it, but thought about it alot.

 

Thought about it pretty seriously when I was made redundant. Having had cancer, I was going to lose my life insurance which was tied to my company pension. Having had cancer, there was no way I could get insurance. Thought if I died, my insurance would pay out. I figured I'd have a car accident. Clip someone near a bridge then aim for a pylon. Had to look like an accident.

 

I didn't because I wasn't sure I would die, and even if I did, I didn't think the bastard's would pay up.

 

Just as well, as I got a job with a company that underwrites life insurance with no medical if you take the pension.

 

But it was a dark period for a while there.

 

But it is amazing how your life can go from the darkest depths of despair to new hope in such a short time.

 

It strange when you read of suicide when you are struggling with cancer. On the one hand you want to scream no! How could you throw away something so valuable. But then you see the darkness and you know. But it always lifts. It's just a fog. Grit your teeth and pass through, and get people to help you keep to the path. Life isn't easy. Death isn't always as scary as it should be. But oh, when life is good it is so good!

Edited March 27, 2016 by newjez

[Johndoe]

Never underestimate your true meaning. You are so important, more than you can dream. Suicide is not the answer.

 

That's the nail on the head. No matter how insignificant that you may feel, you are not insignificant. You're important to someone, although you may not know/feel it at the time. Tragically, those who do commit suicide, never realise this, often, because nobody lets them know that or a chemical imbalance prevents them from recognising it. So you have to tell yourself that no matter how low and alone that you feel, no matter how worthless, that you are not.............that you are valued and important to someone, even if that someone is not the one that you would like to recognise your worth/importance...............and if you can't convince yourself of that, before you take that final step to deprive those who value you, of your presence, then seek professional help quickly, because the right meds and counselling, will have you recognising your self worth and your worth to others.

 

I put a lot of emphasis on "worth" purely because I honestly believe, based on other "survivors" that I have talked to, and chemical imbalance (such as bi-polar) aside, that much depressive illness and suicidal thoughts revolve around lack of not only self worth, but the fact that you don't recognise that others find you worthy..................but I'm not a psych, and can only advise as to what has carried me through my darkest days. I know I've been a shlt at times, and a lot of what was visited upon me, (in later life) was down to how I treated/reacted to others, but I also now realise that it wasn't the "real me" IOW, it wasn't who/how I wanted to be. It was a result of my experiences/nurturing when younger, and professional counselling, and meds, was the only way that I ever had a chance of realising that.

 

IOW, I'd likely have eventually succeeded in visiting grief and trauma on those who cared for me, if I hadn't found appropriate help, and lets face it, that would only have confirmed what a shlt I thought I was............self (relief) before thinking of the consequences for those who love me.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Johndoe

[Phoenix16]

I do feel very very low, and yet I cannot explain it, I do have moments when I feel everyone would be better off without me, I did finally tell hubby I had these feelings, he went straight into overdrive "I did a course about this just last week" (his company have FIFO workers, thank gawd they are being educated" ) he's now booked us into the GP, insists we go together, says he's gonna say his bit, just feel happy. Someone loves and care about mr enough to to want to help xxxxx

[kyliedonut]

It's OK to not be OK. With little steps come big leaps forward.

[Phoenix16]

Thought about it a lot in my teens. I was a child of ping pong poms. Never tried it, but thought about it alot.

 

Thought about it pretty seriously when I was made redundant. Having had cancer, I was going to lose my life insurance which was tied to my company pension. Having had cancer, there was no way I could get insurance. Thought if I died, my insurance would pay out. I figured I'd have a car accident. Clip someone near a bridge then aim for a pylon. Had to look like an accident.

 

I didn't because I wasn't sure I would die, and even if I did, I didn't think the bastard's would pay up.

 

Just as well, as I got a job with a company that underwrites life insurance with no medical if you take the pension.

 

But it was a dark period for a while there.

 

But it is amazing how your life can go from the darkest depths of despair to new hope in such a short time.

 

It strange when you read of suicide when you are struggling with cancer. On the one hand you want to scream no! How could you throw away something so valuable. But then you see the darkness and you know. But it always lifts. It's just a fog. Grit your teeth and pass through, and get people to help you keep to the path. Life isn't easy. Death isn't always as scary as it should be. But oh, when life is good it is so good!

I

inspiring words, and very levelling, thank you for sharing, it means a lot, more than you can imagine xxxx

[Guest The Pom Queen]

 

It strange when you read of suicide when you are struggling with cancer. On the one hand you want to scream no! How could you throw away something so valuable. But then you see the darkness and you know. But it always lifts. It's just a fog. Grit your teeth and pass through, and get people to help you keep to the path. Life isn't easy. Death isn't always as scary as it should be. But oh, when life is good it is so good!

Got to admit, although I haven't recently thought of suicide, I have thought of giving up fighting, every bit of treatment I have, every op I have they find something else. I'm no longer a woman who feels sexy for her hubby but a freak. Only tonight I had a breakdown on how I looked.

The only thing that makes me continue fighting is I know my husband would give up on life if anything happens and my children would be alone. So yes, I have bad days, really bad days, sometimes weeks, but I always get over them. However, if I was on my own I think stopping fighting and just going to sleep away from the pain and the hospitals would be easier.

[Guest The Pom Queen]

I do feel very very low, and yet I cannot explain it, I do have moments when I feel everyone would be better off without me, I did finally tell hubby I had these feelings, he went straight into overdrive "I did a course about this just last week" (his company have FIFO workers, thank gawd they are being educated" ) he's now booked us into the GP, insists we go together, says he's gonna say his bit, just feel happy. Someone loves and care about mr enough to to want to help xxxxx

Just remember that, your husband loves you and he needs you, this is what gets me through. I can't be selfish and I have to put my family first. If you think, suicide is so easy for us, we would just go to sleep and never wake up it's our partners who have to deal with the pain and upset. Good luck at the Drs

Huge hugs :hug:

[northernbird]

My daughter (now 18) tried when she was 16 and she still suffers from anxiety but is medicated, receiving counselling and is dealing with life much better. There are lots of organisations that can help, if you are struggling please reach out. Everyone is loved by someone and there is help there.

[Quoll]

Lifeline - always a good option to start using 131114 when that sort of thinking becomes intrusive. I'm so glad your husband is taking you seriously and working with you to make things better. Keep talking!

[Quokka2005]

I tried it once when I was younger, I don't really want to go into the details but I'm not sure it would even have worked. There's been times that I've thought about it again but I honestly couldn't do it to my family. I know that's not the same for everyone though. Some people just get past the point of no return and they think that people are better off without them. It's a really hard subject to talk about I think because some people think it's the most selfish thing ever and others don't. I definitely agree it affects everyone left behind though. I met some people on holiday whose mum had committed suicide on Christmas Day and found her. I can't even begin to think what that must be like.

 

Jessie if you're thinking about it please try and get some help, there's always a better answer x