Am I crazy??

[Candygirl]

Oh Missus B, you are not crazy, you have got off your backside and given it a go. If it is not for you, then there will be a ticket with your name on it and no one will think any less of you. You know I take my hat off to you for going in the first place and I am certain you will do what feels right for you and wanted to send you a big :hug:.

 

I think getting the "wobbles" at some stage is normal and I think everyone will experience it at some stage. Have you tried talking to your family and friends in the UK? As has been said, it is often difficult for "new" friends to feel right. I struggled to find "genuine" friends here. I have some really good friends now who are loyal, trustworthy and I can rely on 100% no matter what. This takes time. As for the job, if you are not happy, are you able to speak to your boss or HR and explain how you feel? I thought Oz was red hot on H&S, they always seem to bang on about it:biggrin: As for the UK TV, get on YouTube. Download Safeshield to block your IP address, I think it is called and you can then watch UK programmes online. TBH, you are not mssing much there, but I know what you mean I am addicted to TOWIE, Corrie and Deadenders.

 

Take care Hon and keep us posted Lorraine xx

[Perthbum]

I know I've give advice on here to people in the same boat and I have advised them to stick it out. That was until I found myself in the same position. I never I would end up in this situation.

 

I arrived 2 months ago. I set myself up in a lovely apartment, got a nicer car than I've ever previously owned and I started work as a Paramedic. I have steadily been making friends and I am out every weekend, having a pretty decent social life. The weather is great most of the time and Brisbane is a beautiful city. Things are more expensive but not so bad if you shop around. The people are lovely and keen to help me settle in.

 

What's wrong with this picture?:eek:

 

I'm 35 years old. I assumed I knew what I was doing, as I had moved from Ireland to the UK many years ago and struggled to settle down. I had a plan for when I landed in Oz, based on what I had experienced before. The 2 experiences are miles apart from each other.

 

Looking back on what I had in the UK, I had it all. I had great friends and family. I had a beautiful house and 2 gorgeous cats. I was frustrated in my job but everyone I worked with felt the same. My life was full and I was happy. But I have always been someone who likes a challenge. And coming to Oz was my challenge. The grass isn't always greener.....:no:

 

I miss the things I never thought I would. I miss the weather. Working as a Paramedic in the humidity is a killer. I have constant headaches no matter how much water I drink. I don't sleep as well because of it. I miss my old job and my work mates. The job here has reverted back 10 years and my experience that they wanted, isn't valued at all. I've gone from working autonomously in the UK, to working under constant supervision from the medical director, who doesn't trust anyone to do a good job. Even the work equipment wouldn't pass H&S tests in the UK. I'm setting myself up for another work related injury. And I'm not long recovered from back surgery. I miss UK supermarkets and the variety of food. I miss the clothes shops. I miss UK festivals. I miss Christmas in the UK. I miss my solid group of friends. I miss UK tv.

 

I'm at a crossroads now. I have taken a career break but I need to return before August 2013, in order to keep my rota position. My cousin is taking care of my cats so I could get my babies back if I returned. I can eventually buy another house.

 

Most of you that know me on here, will know that I'm a fairly level headed, outgoing, happy type of person. I have no trouble making friends and fitting it. And I have friends here. I'm not being especially over emotional about the whole thing. I'm quite happy in my own skin and I enjoy my own company, so it's not a case of feeling isolated here.

 

But I feel empty most of the time, these days. And it's not depression or the usual emotional upheaval involved in emigrating. It's taken for me to come here, to realize what's important to me. I want my old life back.

 

So I have a decision to make and not long to make it......:eek:

Do you understand me more now.

p.s wat do you mean the the medical equipment would not pass health and safety checks in the UK.

if you do return gal you will defiantly appreciate Ireland a lt more, it will make th trip worthwhile as you see your home in a much better light, you see things you took for granted and go WOW...if that makes sence.

[Jacaranda]

Just wanted to wish you a bright and happy future,where ever that happens to be.xx

[Buttercup]

Missus B, you have something that many do not -BALLS!!!! I take my hat off to you for giving it a go. Many wouldn't even have the guts to try it with someone, let alone by yourself. I have nothing but admiration for you.

Sometimes you just know what you know and that is all.

Like the song goes ' you got the whole world in your hands'. You'll be ok wherever you are by the sounds of it.

Good luck wherever your feet take you..... Big hugs to you....

[Sapphire]

Hi Missus B

No you are certainly not crazy

No amount of research could prepare us, we really underestimated how we would feel, and the feeling of homesickness and knowing Oz is not right for us, has never gone away

We have given it 5 very long years, and my stomach still gets tied in knots, when I think of what we left behind, to come here, and how much we miss our old life.

We will head back early next year, theres been lots of reasons, why we havent been able to return sooner,mainly financial,but we will be home early 2013, and it cant come soon enough

I wish you well in whatever you deceide,at least you can go back to your old job, and you havent given everything up .

You are not alone, I think theres a fair few of us on here, who know exactly what you feeling xx

[Harpodom]

just for the sake of balance, you are crazy Mrs B!

[Perthbum]

just for the sake of balance, you are crazy Mrs B!

How can you say that mate? Out of order.

[Harpodom]

How can you say that mate? Out of order.

for the sake of balance

[Chortlepuss]

When I came to Oz over five years ago , I figured that the worst that could happen is that I got a better appreciation of the UK. It's been great to have the experience, but it's just not home, and I am so much more appreciative of the rich diversity, countryside, opportunities for travel, professional standards (IT) in the UK . I am looking forward to returning to the UK, but sadly can't go straight away. Meanwhile, I just feel I'm marking time. We know some lovely people here, and my hubby and daughters have done well, me less so - I left a great job in the UK to come here, and am now unemployed for the first time in my life. You are so lucky to have had the experience with a job to go back to. In your line of work you can probably come back any time if you fancy it in future. Follow your heart!

[Missus B]

Do you understand me more now.

p.s wat do you mean the the medical equipment would not pass health and safety checks in the UK.

if you do return gal you will defiantly appreciate Ireland a lt more, it will make th trip worthwhile as you see your home in a much better light, you see things you took for granted and go WOW...if that makes sence.

 

It would pass checks but it is not employee friendly. Up until a few years ago, there were no women in the Ambulance Service here. The equipment was designed around taller and stronger employees. I'm letting myself in for a load of stick here but I am vertically challenged. I'm 5ft 2. The stretchers are so high, I can't see where I'm going when I'm pushing them. They can be adjusted while someone's on them but it means pushing down on the trolley at either end and taking the weight of the trolley and the person on it. The carry chairs force you to carry away from your centre of gravity, which is a back injury waiting to happen. To get to any of the cupboards on station for stock, I have to stand on a chair as there are no ladders. It sounds ridiculous but I have spoken to other ''little people'' on station and they struggle also. Accidents have been reported but nothing is being done or it's being done at snails pace. Even down to a simple thing as this. There is no separation from the back of the ambulance and the drivers seat. If the lights are on in the back at night, it makes it difficult to see the road properly. Ever tried driving a car at night with the inside lights on?

 

I might seem pedantic but all these little things add up. I have to use this stuff everyday I'm at work, not just the odd time here and there.

[Missus B]

I spoke to my sister today and she thinks I'm a bit flighty. She might be right. But at the end of the day, I gave it a go. I'm still giving it a go. I'm still carrying on as if I'm gonna stay here forever. But once I made the decision to go back to the UK, it's the lightest my heart has felt in a long time. I'm more excited about going home, than I was about coming to Oz. I know that some of you say, people will be delighted I'm home for 5 mins and then go about their lives. That's fine. I wouldn't expect anything less. But at least I'll be closer to them and can drop in for a cuppa. I'm not expecting life to be any better when I go back. It'll be the same as when I left it. But I wasn't running away from anything when I left. So I know exactly what it will be like when I return. I know how bad the weather can get. I know how frustrating the job can be. But I felt at home there. And I'm more than happy to spend the rest of my days there.

 

And in answer to Dom's question? If I met a hunk? If he's right for me, he'll still be as hunky in rainy Britain:wink:

[Harpodom]

I spoke to my sister today and she thinks I'm a bit flighty. She might be right. But at the end of the day, I gave it a go. I'm still giving it a go. I'm still carrying on as if I'm gonna stay here forever. But once I made the decision to go back to the UK, it's the lightest my heart has felt in a long time. I'm more excited about going home, than I was about coming to Oz. I know that some of you say, people will be delighted I'm home for 5 mins and then go about their lives. That's fine. I wouldn't expect anything less. But at least I'll be closer to them and can drop in for a cuppa. I'm not expecting life to be any better when I go back. It'll be the same as when I left it. But I wasn't running away from anything when I left. So I know exactly what it will be like when I return. I know how bad the weather can get. I know how frustrating the job can be. But I felt at home there. And I'm more than happy to spend the rest of my days there.

 

And in answer to Dom's question? If I met a hunk? If he's right for me, he'll still be as hunky in rainy Britain:wink:

Good for you Mrs! Just try to avoid those emotionally constipated mummy's boy types who think Aus is nirvana

[Guest Guest77374]

Missus B

 

I understand why so many people tell you to give it longer because what you are feeling now can ease with time. The heat can seem a little less oppressive, the headaches a little less frequent. The feeling of being a fish out of water less intense. Your longing for loved ones a little less sharp and unbearable. But that may be the best you can hope for. The million dollar question is how long do you give something that does not feel right, hoping it will suddenly change.

 

I suspect a lot of people know pretty much straight away that Australia is not for them, but stick it out for years just in case they are wrong, or have spent so much money it will set them back too much to go home, or have a partner that for one reason or another is happier in Australia. So many migrants spend years they could have been happy, feeling bloody miserable. My heart goes out to each and every one of them. Many people harp on about how 'only' one in three people come back to the UK. But when you consider all the time, money and emotional upheaval involved in moving in the first place, I think that figure is really high! And how many would like to come back but can't for whatever reason? That we will never know.

 

 

Life is short. You have come up with a good plan, and it seems to have lifted your spirits. If July comes and you feel different about your life over there all well and good, but if not, you will be going back with a renewed appreciation of home. So its win win! :biggrin:

[Perthbum]

I believe that many people cannot afford to go home but are stuck in oz because they have spent all their money on the move, it is a catch 22 situation for these people and must be very depressing for them.

[Quoll]

Lots of reasons why people are stuck and money is just one of them! Of my acquaintance it tends to be family - husband/kids/grand kids more than money but there are one or two who are going to struggle to have a half decent retirement anywhere. For a couple, it is fear which freezes them and I also have an Australian friend who would kill to live in England but has no way of getting a visa! There are many many more "I'd love to go home-ers" in Aus than ever hit the stats of returnees!

[kungfustu]

Wow....Ive read your posts over the past year or so and you always seemed pretty steady....new what you wanted....new what you didnt want. Its tough emigrating, we new pretty much within a few months that it wasnt for us, I think most people get a feel for the place pretty quick, but it cant be nice and I think its a real shame cus Brisbane is a lovely place....dont set yourself too many targets, try and set targets that are achievable and maybe look at it as a long holiday and see how you feel in a few weeks, if all else fails get on the sauce and party!....I know how you Irish love a good drink, My best mate was from Ireland, I spent many a good weekend in Bandon #!?#!

 

Look sorry I cant offer any good advice, but try and stick it out for a few more weeks and see how you feel...your a lucky girl, you have a lot going for you....try and make the most of it and if you do end up coming home....so what....at leasts you had fun trying!

[Guest Guest40285]

I reckon your doing the right thing, get out of here while you can, get home and get amongst it all again, I so, so wish I could just go home, Look after yourself and happy days, Cheers Matt.

[fizzybangs]

I have never, ever understood the term 'give it more time'. Trust your instincts and go with them. When I came out years ago I made a lot of friends very quickly who had arrived from the UK like me and we all had a ball and not one of us ever wanted to go back to UK. However, Australia has changed a lot since then. I want to go back now so I am going to break the mold in that particular group of people, all of whom still love Australia. I landed here in Sydney and drove up to Brisbane and I thought it was so beautiful, the weather so fabulous, the freedom felt intoxicating and I was sold and gave my heart and soul to Australia and couldn't wait to become an Australian Citizen. I've been back for holidays to UK many times. It was the last time that changed things for me. I now see Australia for what it is now - I also see the UK as how it is now and the UK wins hands down. If you do not like it within the first 4 weeks what is going to change? You will just make more friends to miss when you do return! Treat this as a working holiday and be where you feel you belong and if that is the UK then so be it. Came here, tried it, didn't like it. Very simple really.

[landv]

Hi missus B.

 

 

I don't come on here often anymore, but I saw your post and I just wanted to say that I've been here four years now and feel exactly like you do, even after all this time.

 

I've now realized that nothing will change, the way I feel about living here will not change, moving interstate will not change it either and if it hasn't changed in all these years, it never will. I mean, who am I kidding?

And I feel that the longer I leave it, the more complicated it becomes and will be harder to leave.

Actually, now I wish we would have moved back sooner - before my daughter was born - having a child in tow makes the whole prospect a lot scarier... I know it's scary for everyone, not just for those with families.

 

We have now come up with a plan to move back, and it will take us at least a year to save up as I don't want to go back penniless. But at least now we have a goal and even a date to work towards and look forward to.

 

 

 

I wish you all the best ... and my advice is don't leave it too late ... that bridge might not be there when you decide to turn back..

[Creese]

Weve been here six years and feel the same as you, if finances allowed we would return back tomorrow. You have hit the nail on the head when you say "I miss my old life", sorry to say it, and others will knock me down for saying it, if you feel this way now, six years down the track you will still feel it.

 

Good luck with whatever you do x

[Harpodom]

I'm going to offer an alternative take on this Missus B. I felt much the same as you after 3 months, and even after 18 months.

 

Then something clicked.

 

Those first 18 months I felt like I was grieving the loss of my old life, and wanted to cling onto it in the same way a bereaved person holds onto their dead relative's possessions. Like there is some subconscious belief that in doing so, they might come back.

 

The thing which changed 'it' for me was switching from thinking of it as forever to thinking of it as now. I no longer miss my old life, but I've made damn sure not to burn bridges with dear friends and family...just in case.

 

Thing is, by making firm plans to go back next year, psychology you automatically switch off from experiences and opportunities around you. Just putting that thought out there.:biggrin:

[Bobbsy]

I won't try to advise on the professional side of things, but...

 

Back in the UK I was probably the least tolerant person to heat that you could ever find. In the summer, the short walk from my car to my commuter train would have me dripping with sweat.

 

My first summer season in Queensland was pretty tough--and I ran up a huge power bill for air conditioning at home. However, by year 2, I was amazed how acclimatised I was. In 2009, we did a trip back to the UK and Canada and I froze to death despite bundling up like crazy. Arriving back in Brisbane in January, it was a relief to sit on a bench outside the airport terminal waiting for a taxi and roasting in the sun.

 

So...don't give up hope of getting used to the heat and humidity--if I could anyone can!

[newjez]

I had the heat related headaches too Missus B. It's one of the reasons I left Perth. The only real way to cope with them is to force fluid down your throat. Aim at a litre of water an hour and see how you go. (Downside is you may need the loo a lot). (You can also try a weak cordial with a pinch of salt). It gets worse when I exercise - and don't even try and touch alcohol.

 

As for the rest, it may be good to commit to leave by a certain date, enjoy the time you have, and the re evaluate when the the time comes. If you still want to go, then you had a great break. If you don't, then set another date.

[Harpodom]

and whatever you do, DON'T fall in love with an Australian, unless he's an Anglophile!

[northshorepom]

and whatever you do, DON'T fall in love with an Australian, unless he's an Anglophile!

 

Or a Paddophile?

 

(careful how you spell it)

:whistle: