Am I crazy??

[Harpodom]

Or a Paddophile?

 

(careful how you spell it)

:whistle:

everybody loves a Paddy, to be sure!

[Guest]

Good for you Mrs! Just try to avoid those emotionally constipated mummy's boy types who think Aus is nirvana

 

 

But maaaate........:cry:

[Guest]

I'm really sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you Missus B. Nothing really to add to all the other really good advice on this thread, except to say that it sounds like it's been an adventure for you and I'm sure you're set for more in the future, just maybe somewhere else. :smile:

[RoseBrown1972]

A few people say give it longer, I was repeatedly told 2 years as the magic changing point, from day one nothing has felt right and nothing has changed that feeling. I've passed that 2 years mark now, I have a good job as does my hubby, we go the gym, have friends and a life but the life I had was better. So we're going back but will take us 2 years, when the decision was made a lot of people thought the pressures off she'll change her mind, hasn't I as know my first instinct was right, so follow that not other people suggesting it might change!

[sioban]

Go with your heart - better to regret something that you have done than think "what if"? for the rest of your life. I totally admire your courage coming here by yourself - it's not an easy thing to do. If you are looking for some company before you go please PM me although I have to say I have a 9 year old son and 6 year old daughter who will be in tow if we meet up! Good luck x

[Dublin4]

I'm also from Ireland (Dublin) and I moved to London seven years ago, and although I did miss family and friends at first, it was not anything I could not handle and I settled in and grew to love the place very quickly. I think there is a world of difference in moving from Ireland to the U.K compared to moving to Oz. My Grandad would turn in his grave if he could hear me say this, but the people in England, while not the same, are similar, as is the culture and humour. Your right, the people in Brisbane are lovely, but....how can I put this? I can walk into a pub in London, and within minutes I'd be chatting to some real character I've never met, within half an hour I could be taking the p**s out of him, and him out of me, and we would be having a good few jars and a grand time soon enough. Try that in a "pub" in Brisbane and you will be met with an empty and bewildered response.

 

I met my Aussie wife in London five years ago, we had a great life, but she got itchy feet and had this thing about living in Paris, so off we went. We were there for two years, and although hard at first, because of the language barrier, we soon cracked it.

 

I was in Brisbane for a year and four days. I could not take to the place or settle down at all, even though my wife is from there. I'm not 100% sure why. I did not hate one particular thing (apart from the in laws) but like you, the empty feeling never left. My reasons for going were not*the same as yours, and I realise that going from London & Paris to Brisbane is a downgrade, but as much as I tried to settle, I could not. I'm back in the U.K now, although still suffering from jet-lag.

 

I think that if your happy where you are at, it is far harder to emigrate to Oz. While in Brisbane I did not meet one Irish person that was 100% percent happy at home. This was usually because of the lack of work at the moment, and they have been forced to give Oz a go because of that. If I was you, I would question why I made such a huge move when you was so happy? Surely a few months off travelling would have been surfice?

 

Two months isn't long though, so I would give it another four, and see how you are? Ignore the idiots that tell you that you need to give it TWO years. If you spent two years in Syria you would get used to it. Do you want to settle for that? Living in a place that you have learnt to tolerate, that you have got used to. As you say...

 

"It's taken a lifetime for me to feel happy with what I've achieved. And I am not happy with my life here."

 

If you still feel this way in four months, get yourself back to a place where you do feel very happy with what you have. Good luck.

[RoseBrown1972]

I'm also from Ireland (Dublin) and I moved to London seven years ago, and although I did miss family and friends at first, it was not anything I could not handle and I settled in and grew to love the place very quickly. I think there is a world of difference in moving from Ireland to the U.K compared to moving to Oz. My Grandad would turn in his grave if he could hear me say this, but the people in England, while not the same, are similar, as is the culture and humour. Your right, the people in Brisbane are lovely, but....how can I put this? I can walk into a pub in London, and within minutes I'd be chatting to some real character I've never met, within half an hour I could be taking the p**s out of him, and him out of me, and we would be having a good few jars and a grand time soon enough. Try that in a "pub" in Brisbane and you will be met with an empty and bewildered response.

 

I met my Aussie wife in London five years ago, we had a great life, but she got itchy feet and had this thing about living in Paris, so off we went. We were there for two years, and although hard at first, because of the language barrier, we soon cracked it.

 

I was in Brisbane for a year and four days. I could not take to the place or settle down at all, even though my wife is from there. I'm not 100% sure why. I did not hate one particular thing (apart from the in laws) but like you, the empty feeling never left. My reasons for going were not*the same as yours, and I realise that going from London & Paris to Brisbane is a downgrade, but as much as I tried to settle, I could not. I'm back in the U.K now, although still suffering from jet-lag.

 

I think that if your happy where you are at, it is far harder to emigrate to Oz. While in Brisbane I did not meet one Irish person that was 100% percent happy at home. This was usually because of the lack of work at the moment, and they have been forced to give Oz a go because of that. If I was you, I would question why I made such a huge move when you was so happy? Surely a few months off travelling would have been surfice?

 

Two months isn't long though, so I would give it another four, and see how you are? Ignore the idiots that tell you that you need to give it TWO years. If you spent two years in Syria you would get used to it. Do you want to settle for that? Living in a place that you have learnt to tolerate, that you have got used to. As you say...

 

"It's taken a lifetime for me to feel happy with what I've achieved. And I am not happy with my life here."

 

If you still feel this way in four months, get yourself back to a place where you do feel very happy with what you have. Good luck.

 

 

wow dublin you have just said what so many just don't get! Why should you get used to

somewhere! If it ain't right well getting used to it won't change that! I reckon alot of people just get used to and put up with Oz instead of going home! I don't intend to!

[Quoll]

wow dublin you have just said what so many just don't get! Why should you get used to

somewhere! If it ain't right well getting used to it won't change that! I reckon alot of people just get used to and put up with Oz instead of going home! I don't intend to!

 

Rose, that's it exactly! Why keep on banging your head against a brick wall in the hopes that it will make your headache better? It's daft!

[bunbury61]

I'm also from Ireland (Dublin) and I moved to London seven years ago, and although I did miss family and friends at first, it was not anything I could not handle and I settled in and grew to love the place very quickly. I think there is a world of difference in moving from Ireland to the U.K compared to moving to Oz. My Grandad would turn in his grave if he could hear me say this, but the people in England, while not the same, are similar, as is the culture and humour. Your right, the people in Brisbane are lovely, but....how can I put this? I can walk into a pub in London, and within minutes I'd be chatting to some real character I've never met, within half an hour I could be taking the p**s out of him, and him out of me, and we would be having a good few jars and a grand time soon enough. Try that in a "pub" in Brisbane and you will be met with an empty and bewildered response.

 

I met my Aussie wife in London five years ago, we had a great life, but she got itchy feet and had this thing about living in Paris, so off we went. We were there for two years, and although hard at first, because of the language barrier, we soon cracked it.

 

I was in Brisbane for a year and four days. I could not take to the place or settle down at all, even though my wife is from there. I'm not 100% sure why. I did not hate one particular thing (apart from the in laws) but like you, the empty feeling never left. My reasons for going were not*the same as yours, and I realise that going from London & Paris to Brisbane is a downgrade, but as much as I tried to settle, I could not. I'm back in the U.K now, although still suffering from jet-lag.

 

I think that if your happy where you are at, it is far harder to emigrate to Oz. While in Brisbane I did not meet one Irish person that was 100% percent happy at home. This was usually because of the lack of work at the moment, and they have been forced to give Oz a go because of that. If I was you, I would question why I made such a huge move when you was so happy? Surely a few months off travelling would have been surfice?

 

Two months isn't long though, so I would give it another four, and see how you are? Ignore the idiots that tell you that you need to give it TWO years. If you spent two years in Syria you would get used to it. Do you want to settle for that? Living in a place that you have learnt to tolerate, that you have got used to. As you say...

 

"It's taken a lifetime for me to feel happy with what I've achieved. And I am not happy with my life here."

 

If you still feel this way in four months, get yourself back to a place where you do feel very happy with what you have. Good luck.

 

 

Can i just say as an " Englishman " living back in the U,k .......from my side of the fence ......the days of mistrust , during the troubles have gone .

we have a table full of irish lads in our pub , and we all chip in .......there is no issue .....long may it continue .

 

As a sports follower ......if any of the british or irish are playing anyone .....i have always backed US .....THE RYDER CUP HAS CEMENTED THAT EVEN FURTHER .......

 

I have a wish to get on the lash with the paddies on a lions tour......oh the craic

[Guest guest74886]

It would pass checks but it is not employee friendly. Up until a few years ago, there were no women in the Ambulance Service here. The equipment was designed around taller and stronger employees. I'm letting myself in for a load of stick here but I am vertically challenged. I'm 5ft 2. The stretchers are so high, I can't see where I'm going when I'm pushing them. They can be adjusted while someone's on them but it means pushing down on the trolley at either end and taking the weight of the trolley and the person on it. The carry chairs force you to carry away from your centre of gravity, which is a back injury waiting to happen. To get to any of the cupboards on station for stock, I have to stand on a chair as there are no ladders. It sounds ridiculous but I have spoken to other ''little people'' on station and they struggle also. Accidents have been reported but nothing is being done or it's being done at snails pace. Even down to a simple thing as this. There is no separation from the back of the ambulance and the drivers seat. If the lights are on in the back at night, it makes it difficult to see the road properly. Ever tried driving a car at night with the inside lights on?

 

I might seem pedantic but all these little things add up. I have to use this stuff everyday I'm at work, not just the odd time here and there.

 

Is it these irritants which are causing you to doubt whether you have made the right choice in being here because I can say that they are real issues, neither of us work/ed in anything as intense as your occupation but we have both found it very confronting dealing with standards here in the workplace and the very macho style of management.

I would try and sort out what it is that is giving you grief, is it the loss of friends, the climate or is it the job.

The climate and the job can be addressed by moving state to some extent but if loss of friends is uppermost then that alongside the job problems is probably what is tipping the balance.

As for feeling like your a failure , forget it, we are going back after what will be 8 years when the escape plan comes to fruition and it will cost us mega bucks after struggling to make it come out right here for the last 3 years, we kept on saying just one more push and we'll make the breakthrough but somehow the big breakthrough just didn't happen and we are having to face up to the fact that Australia is just not for us, it just doesn't have the constituent parts to it for us.

The reality of Australia is very different to the spin that the Govt puts out and if your job and your professional standards are important to you then I think that niggles away at you, is that what is happening for you?.

The heat today must be pretty dire, doing anything outdoors must be hideous.

Hope it works out for you but please realise that their are lots of us heading back not because we couldn't make the money but because it just does not have the bits here that are important to us as individuals.

[flag of convenience]

As Dublin4 stated so aptly, the charecters one meets in a London pub are something else. Just returned to Perth from a stay in South Africa and found it so easier than Oz over there to get connected with folk never met before also with folk having something interesting to say....these things may not sound much but it can certainly few one's colour of the country.

[Guest 3 peas in the pod]

I have never written on here before so I hope I am doing it right. I would set yourself a month mid next year and really enjoy yourself in the meantime. Don't dwell on what might have been but use this time to meet new people and have fun. If by mid next year you still feel the same then you know you have tried. I have been here for 23 yrs now and seriously considering moving back. My parents are in their 80's and my twin boys (6yrs) won't know them. I am single, there is no father so no complications. I am very unhappy and have been for 18mths now. I also need to make some serious decisions. Good luck.

[starlight7]

Australia is a very different place from the UK. The people are different, the climate is different and habits are different. The pub culture you get over in the UK is virtually non-existent here except in the centre of a few capitals ( not a great deal in Brisbane). Sure you get the hard drinkers but they are different, too. I know I would be a fish out of water in the UK now- small things and comments from recently arrived British migrants make me realise this. We just think differently is all. No right or wrong about it.

[skippy79]

I think one of the biggest problems with you ( and many others on PIO ) is that they have a " fallback" or a "get out of jail free card". Like you said, you can go back to your old job, get your cats back etc etc, which means that you'll never be able to settle down, knowing that if things go "t*ts up" you can jump on a plane and pick up life where you left it in th UK..... If you didn't have this what would you do/be thinking?

 

just my 2 cents

[Dublin4]

I think one of the biggest problems with you ( and many others on PIO ) is that they have a " fallback" or a "get out of jail free card". Like you said, you can go back to your old job, get your cats back etc etc, which means that you'll never be able to settle down, knowing that if things go "t*ts up" you can jump on a plane and pick up life where you left it in th UK..... If you didn't have this what would you do/be thinking?

 

just my 2 cents

 

 

So what your saying is that you have more chance of settling in if your stuck in a miserable place and you haven't got a "fallback" plan to get out. If you haven't got a "get out of jail free card" what happens is that you rot in that jail and become institutionalised, and get used to it, resign yourself to it. That's no way to live. Humans are adaptable, they can get used to most things!

 

Your point makes no sense to me. If you like a place.... stay! If you don't....go! Don't force yourself to stay if you don't have to. The people you describe, who have spent so much money and commited their life to immigrating to oz, and are now trapped, I feel very sorry for! There are plenty of these people in Brisbane, some even try to convince themselves that they like it. These people are easy to spot! They are the one's that get mad if you say something even slightly negative about Brisbane, even if it's in jest.

 

They doth protest to much me thinks! The truth comes out when they are drunk! lol

[Dublin4]

Can i just say as an " Englishman " living back in the U,k .......from my side of the fence ......the days of mistrust , during the troubles have gone .

we have a table full of irish lads in our pub , and we all chip in .......there is no issue .....long may it continue .

 

 

 

 

To be sure Bunbury. I agree! I thought that I would get some abuse in London due to my nationality, but in truth, the opposite was true. Yes, there was p!!s taking in jest, but you can give it back, and the more you give, the better they like you for it! Great craic to be had in the pubs there.That's the great thing about the place though, so many cultures and nationalities, you never feel under pressure to conform, you can be yourself! I can't say the same about Brisbane if I'm honest.

 

Back on topic. Mrs B, I think you need to give yourself more time so that you can be certain that it's not homesickness that you are suffering from. When that happens, if you still feel the way you do now, do what I did.......Kick the place in the balls and get yourself home!

[Perthbum]

To be sure Bunbury. I agree! I thought that I would get some abuse in London due to my nationality, but in truth, the opposite was true. Yes, there was p!!s taking in jest, but you can give it back, and the more you give, the better they like you for it! Great craic to be had in the pubs there.That's the great thing about the place though, so many cultures and nationalities, you never feel under pressure to conform, you can be yourself! I can't say the same about Brisbane if I'm honest.

 

Back on topic. Mrs B, I think you need to give yourself more time so that you can be certain that it's not homesickness that you are suffering from. When that happens, if you still feel the way you do now, do what I did.......Kick the place in the balls and get yourself home!

could not agree more, but this is the reason I found Perth boring, not being horrible but I honestly found Aussies boring and not up for a laugh as my mates in the UK, I suppose it is a cultural thing but give me the British people and the British sense of humour.

[Galahad]

Hi Missus B.....

I've read all of this thread & also read many of your posts over the time I've been a member of PIO....

You're probably the one of the least crazy people - judging by the tone & timbre of your writing.....

 

You should do what you think is right for you....you have intelligently drawn conclusions from your own experience - no-one else's & that gives you all the input you need.....you're not 'flighty'....

You're a hardworking woman with a responsible career & you've come to conclusions which make sense to YOU.....

 

Ruby slippers said (post63) "....a lot of people know straightaway that Australia is not for them...."

That's very true. ( I'm not one of them - I knew it was from day one 20 years ago & have not changed my mind.... or heart )

 

Quoll says (post50) "....that mindset of OMG is this all there is for the rest of my days is hugely debilitating... "

Yes, that's true too. ( That's the way I feel about being in England for the rest of my days - couldn't do it..... )

 

I'm spending huge amounts of money at present organizing my return to my beloved Country Queensland with my furry family......

I'm English born & bred - but now feel more at home in Australia.....

 

I have more than one friend (yes, honest injun !) who thinks I'm crazy....but my point is it doesn't matter & it's not necessarily to do with Australia - it to do with where you feel right & you know it.....

 

In your shoes I'd be going right ahead with your decision to return & no stops in between.....

 

Wishing you a very Happy Christmas ! :xmas29:

[Harpodom]

So what your saying is that you have more chance of settling in if your stuck in a miserable place and you haven't got a "fallback" plan to get out. If you haven't got a "get out of jail free card" what happens is that you rot in that jail and become institutionalised, and get used to it, resign yourself to it. That's no way to live. Humans are adaptable, they can get used to most things!

 

Your point makes no sense to me. If you like a place.... stay! If you don't....go! Don't force yourself to stay if you don't have to. The people you describe, who have spent so much money and commited their life to immigrating to oz, and are now trapped, I feel very sorry for! There are plenty of these people in Brisbane, some even try to convince themselves that they like it. These people are easy to spot! They are the one's that get mad if you say something even slightly negative about Brisbane, even if it's in jest.

 

They doth protest to much me thinks! The truth comes out when they are drunk! lol

Skippy does make a valid point IMO, though it might not be relevant to mrs B's situation, as she is free and single.

 

We sold our house etc prior to moving here, precisely because we wanted to give it the gest chance of working. If we hadnt done that, we'd have come back to England within the first 18 months or so, as I really struggled. With kids in tow however, and a commitment to mrs harpo (Aussie) to really give it a go, I'm glad we stuck it out, cos we came out the other side and are happy now.

[skippy79]

Yes I am saying that you have more chance of settling somewhere else when you don't have that fallback plan ready....... it's easier to say after a few month, " I don't like it here, it's too expensive, no decent pubs, food bla bla bla I want to go back". Where as there are so many people that do stick it out because they can't or don't want to pack up and unsettle their family again, and after a yr or 2 actually do enjoy it, and realise that oz is a different country, with different habbits, things & people than back @ home and embrace these things..... Obviously there are people that wish they did go back, or actually did go back within a few months, and have settled in back at home, and look back and think, well at least I gave it a go.... hats off for all of these people:yes:

Obviously if someone is still miserable after a yr or more, than sure go back, but to pay all that money, go through the hell of a visa route and give up after a few months is IMO complete madness... get down to the bottom of the reason why you actually wanted to leave home and immigrate to Oz........

Everyone is different and thank god for that, I was just asking here, what would Missus B do if there wasn't a job to go back to...

 

I have packed up 4 times in my life and moved to different countries, and wish I could have gone back plenty of times, but I couldn't, and I embraced the different countries I lived in, and this has made me the person I am now :xmas26:

[Harpodom]

Yes I am saying that you have more chance of settling somewhere else when you don't have that fallback plan ready....... it's easier to say after a few month, " I don't like it here, it's too expensive, no decent pubs, food bla bla bla I want to go back". Where as there are so many people that do stick it out because they can't or don't want to pack up and unsettle their family again, and after a yr or 2 actually do enjoy it, and realise that oz is a different country, with different habbits, things & people than back @ home and embrace these things..... Obviously there are people that wish they did go back, or actually did go back within a few months, and have settled in back at home, and look back and think, well at least I gave it a go.... hats off for all of these people:yes:

Obviously if someone is still miserable after a yr or more, than sure go back, but to pay all that money, go through the hell of a visa route and give up after a few months is IMO complete madness... get down to the bottom of the reason why you actually wanted to leave home and immigrate to Oz........

Everyone is different and thank god for that, I was just asking here, what would Missus B do if there wasn't a job to go back to...

 

I have packed up 4 times in my life and moved to different countries, and wish I could have gone back plenty of times, but I couldn't, and I embraced the different countries I lived in, and this has made me the person I am now :xmas26:

 

I think a fair amount of the 'discomfort' experienced by the new arrival is basically culture shock. After a year or two, if you're still bristling at all these differences rather than accepting them, its time to go methinks.

[skippy79]

with you on that harpodom:xmas23:... but at least time has been given to try to accept it

[Harpodom]

with you on that harpodom:xmas23:... but at least time has been given to try to accept it

exactly mate

[Guest GeorgeD]

We sold our house etc prior to moving here, precisely because we wanted to give it the gest chance of working.

 

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Dom! I did the same...I had the option to not sell my flat in the UK. The mortgage was paid off, it was in good condition. We both had jobs when I landed in Oz, so we didn't need the money unless we we wanted a deposit for a house. But I personally needed to sell it to make sure I gave it my all. I had more than a few wobbles along the way, but I'm here. Is my life better now than it was in Scotland? No. It's different. That said, my life in Scotland wasn't better than my life here. It was just different. I know myself and I like familiarity. I don't like change. The actual move itself was probably more upsetting than the reality of life in Australia. I'll be fine here now, but it did make life a bit more uncertain knowing I had a house back in Scotland that I could easily move back to.

 

Having said all of the above, Missus B is a grown up and I'm sure she'll be fine with whatever decision she makes for her own situation. I'd not say anyone was crazy for going back, or for staying.

[northshorepom]

Yes I am saying that you have more chance of settling somewhere else when you don't have that fallback plan ready....... it's easier to say after a few month, " I don't like it here, it's too expensive, no decent pubs, food bla bla bla I want to go back". Where as there are so many people that do stick it out because they can't or don't want to pack up and unsettle their family again, and after a yr or 2 actually do enjoy it, and realise that oz is a different country, with different habbits, things & people than back @ home and embrace these things..... Obviously there are people that wish they did go back, or actually did go back within a few months, and have settled in back at home, and look back and think, well at least I gave it a go.... hats off for all of these people:yes:

Obviously if someone is still miserable after a yr or more, than sure go back, but to pay all that money, go through the hell of a visa route and give up after a few months is IMO complete madness... get down to the bottom of the reason why you actually wanted to leave home and immigrate to Oz........

Everyone is different and thank god for that, I was just asking here, what would Missus B do if there wasn't a job to go back to...

 

I have packed up 4 times in my life and moved to different countries, and wish I could have gone back plenty of times, but I couldn't, and I embraced the different countries I lived in, and this has made me the person I am now :xmas26:

 

I'm genuinely surprised that as a veteran of many moves you feel people need to throw in any contingency in order to be able to settle

 

I don't feel that at all - also as a veteran of many moves to different countries. I can honestly say whether or not I have a fallback plan has made 0 difference to whether or not I have been able to settle in different countries. Sometimes I've had a plan B, sometimes I haven't, sometimes I've settled quickly, sometimes I haven't. No correlation.

 

TBH for the vast majority of us these days there is always a plan B - you can almost always change your mind, sure it might cost you some money but not much else