Harpodom Posted December 4, 2012 Share Posted December 4, 2012 Can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Dom! I did the same...I had the option to not sell my flat in the UK. The mortgage was paid off, it was in good condition. We both had jobs when I landed in Oz, so we didn't need the money unless we we wanted a deposit for a house. But I personally needed to sell it to make sure I gave it my all. I had more than a few wobbles along the way, but I'm here. Is my life better now than it was in Scotland? No. It's different. That said, my life in Scotland wasn't better than my life here. It was just different. I know myself and I like familiarity. I don't like change. The actual move itself was probably more upsetting than the reality of life in Australia. I'll be fine here now, but it did make life a bit more uncertain knowing I had a house back in Scotland that I could easily move back to. Having said all of the above, Missus B is a grown up and I'm sure she'll be fine with whatever decision she makes for her own situation. I'd not say anyone was crazy for going back, or for staying. That is exactly my impression of it too GD. Its the initial upheaval which causes the majority of the stress. Once you come out the other side, its different rather than better/worse. Perhaps some of us need to remove the 'path of least resistance' in order to achieve what we set out to achieve in the first place. For us it wasn't a dream lifestyle we were after, more a compromise where both parties can be happy. But again, not really applicable to Mrs B's situ, if I was her I would head back next year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Yes I am saying that you have more chance of settling somewhere else when you don't have that fallback plan ready....... it's easier to say after a few month, " I don't like it here, it's too expensive, no decent pubs, food bla bla bla I want to go back". Well I think you should give it a real go. When I've been on holiday for 2 weeks I really want to go home, wherever that may be. If you have made the effort to immigrate, give it at least 6 months. If you dont like it after that, you don't like it........Go home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseBrown1972 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 So what your saying is that you have more chance of settling in if your stuck in a miserable place and you haven't got a "fallback" plan to get out. If you haven't got a "get out of jail free card" what happens is that you rot in that jail and become institutionalised, and get used to it, resign yourself to it. That's no way to live. Humans are adaptable, they can get used to most things! Your point makes no sense to me. If you like a place.... stay! If you don't....go! Don't force yourself to stay if you don't have to. The people you describe, who have spent so much money and commited their life to immigrating to oz, and are now trapped, I feel very sorry for! There are plenty of these people in Brisbane, some even try to convince themselves that they like it. These people are easy to spot! They are the one's that get mad if you say something even slightly negative about Brisbane, even if it's in jest. They doth protest to much me thinks! The truth comes out when they are drunk! lol Yes since we told people we're going home i've very quickly picked up on the genuinly happy people and those who are trapped by their responses! Some have been honest over time that here ain't so perfect for them but they are trapped by finances or kids educational needs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I think a fair amount of the 'discomfort' experienced by the new arrival is basically culture shock. After a year or two, if you're still bristling at all these differences rather than accepting them, its time to go methinks. A year or two? Your kidding? Spend two years being unhappy on the off chance that you may be o.k at the end of it????? No way! As I said, spend that amount of time on the West Bank and you may start to see it's charm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 A year or two? Your kidding? Spend two years being unhappy on the off chance that you may be o.k at the end of it????? No way! As I said, spend that amount of time on the West Bank and you may start to see it's charm! silly comparison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I'm glad we stuck it out, cos we came out the other side and are happy now. That's interesting, I've been reading this forum for a few weeks, I like your posts.........You have a sense of humour! How does that humour go down with the Aussies ? (or the wannabe Aussies:no:) It seems to go over the heads of plenty on here, which makes it even funnier! I have to say, going by your posts, you don't seem that happy in Oz, which is fair enough, it's for the brain dead! Are you sure your not.....how should I put this??????????? Pus*y whipped by Mrs Harpo? (Aussie) No offence! Do yourself a favour, get back to the land of the living! :biggrin: You know you want to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 silly comparison Don't be a silly boy! I'm not comparing Brisbane to the West Bank! What I'm saying is..........If you spend enough time in a place, you will get used to it, and except it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 That's interesting, I've been reading this forum for a few weeks, I like your posts.........You have a sense of humour! How does that humour go down with the Aussies ? (or the wannabe Aussies:no:) It seems to go over the heads of plenty on here, which makes it even funnier! I have to say, going by your posts, you don't seem that happy in Oz, which is fair enough, it's for the brain dead! Are you sure your not.....how should I put this??????????? Pus*y whipped by Mrs Harpo? (Aussie) No offence! Do yourself a favour, get back to the land of the living! :biggrin: You know you want to! Me? Pussy whipped? I wish.. Funnily enough, in terms of face to face interaction, I am regarded by some Aussies (usually women) as hilarious, by others (usually men) as just a bit odd. I'm comfortable with that. I do have more English friends than Aussie, mainly because I cannot relate to Aussie blokes. And I am actually happy. If you knew me you'd agree. No plans to return, life's good here. Who knows where we'll be in 5-10 years however.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Me? Pussy whipped? I wish.. Funnily enough, in terms of face to face interaction, I am regarded by some Aussies (usually women) as hilarious, by others (usually men) as just a bit odd and/or a tw@t. I'm comfortable with that. I do have more English friends than Aussie, mainly because I cannot relate to Aussie blokes. And I am actually happy. If you knew me you'd agree. No plans to return, life's good here. Who knows where we'll be in 5-10 years however.. Fair play to ya, if your happy great...... I thought it was all so very sterile there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Fair play to ya, if your happy great...... I thought it was all so very sterile there! not disagreeing with mate..thats why its VERY important to have countrymen as friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Me? Pussy whipped? I wish.. Funnily enough, in terms of face to face interaction, I am regarded by some Aussies (usually women) as hilarious, by others (usually men) as just a bit odd. I'm comfortable with that. My wife ias Ozzie! Hope to have her back by Xmas. Miss her! Ba Jesusus her family are inbreds! She must have been switched at birth...I swear it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 My wife ias Ozzie! Ba Jesusus her family are inbreds! She must have been switched at birth...I swear it! You could be describing my life there M8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dublin4 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 You could be describing my life there M8 You too!!! Well stay happy! don't let the bastards get to ya! I did, said some things that should have been left unsaid and now I'm in Dublin all lonesome. We will be back in London together by chrstmas, fingers crossed. jetlag, can't sleep for , no matter how much I down!!!!!!!!!! A whole month now! You carry this website, Keep it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 You too!!! Well stay happy! don't let the bastards get to ya! I did, said some things that should have been left unsaid and now I'm in Dublin all lonesome. We will be back in London together by chrstmas, fingers crossed. jetlag, can't sleep for , no matter how much I down!!!!!!!!!! A whole month now! You carry this website, Keep it up! I suspect you're a bit of a social hand grenade mate! Fair play, and thanks for the compliments. Yep Xmas day is a bitter sweet experience for me. Sweet to see my boys so excited, bitter having to spend year upon year with the in laws on that of all days! Expect to see me post (from the bog) multiple times on Xmas day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Perhaps we can get back to the OP ... I sense you might be able to start a new thread Dom :biggrin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Perhaps we can get back to the OP ... I sense you might be able to start a new thread Dom :biggrin: I can drag it right back on track in one go by saying: Mrs B, read the above posts (about in laws etc) from Dublin4, George D and me....print them out, put them in a safe place. Read them any time you're tempted to date an Aussie bloke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I can drag it right back on track in one go by saying: Mrs B, read the above posts (about in laws etc) from Dublin4, George D and me....print them out, put them in a safe place. Read them any time you're tempted to date an Aussie bloke. Cheers Dom, i'll only have to tidy the thread up from here now if it goes astray again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Don't be a silly boy! I'm not comparing Brisbane to the West Bank! What I'm saying is..........If you spend enough time in a place, you will get used to it, and except it! Yeh! Like you weren't saying Aus is for the brain dead in your other post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 It's always all about Dom, innit? ^Dom, yesterday Yeh! Like you weren't saying Aus is for the brain dead in your other post. ^Paul1Perth, yesterday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 It's always all about Dom, innit? ^Dom, yesterday ^Paul1Perth, yesterday am I a park bench? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northshorepom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Nah, the park bench is your "straight man". It's a toss up between EW and Sir Les Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harpodom Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 Nah, the park bench is your "straight man". It's a toss up between EW and Sir Les you realise we're veering off course again? Sorry Mrs B, he started it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I know I've give advice on here to people in the same boat and I have advised them to stick it out. That was until I found myself in the same position. I never I would end up in this situation. I arrived 2 months ago. I set myself up in a lovely apartment, got a nicer car than I've ever previously owned and I started work as a Paramedic. I have steadily been making friends and I am out every weekend, having a pretty decent social life. The weather is great most of the time and Brisbane is a beautiful city. Things are more expensive but not so bad if you shop around. The people are lovely and keen to help me settle in. What's wrong with this picture?:eek: I'm 35 years old. I assumed I knew what I was doing, as I had moved from Ireland to the UK many years ago and struggled to settle down. I had a plan for when I landed in Oz, based on what I had experienced before. The 2 experiences are miles apart from each other. Looking back on what I had in the UK, I had it all. I had great friends and family. I had a beautiful house and 2 gorgeous cats. I was frustrated in my job but everyone I worked with felt the same. My life was full and I was happy. But I have always been someone who likes a challenge. And coming to Oz was my challenge. The grass isn't always greener.....:no: I miss the things I never thought I would. I miss the weather. Working as a Paramedic in the humidity is a killer. I have constant headaches no matter how much water I drink. I don't sleep as well because of it. I miss my old job and my work mates. The job here has reverted back 10 years and my experience that they wanted, isn't valued at all. I've gone from working autonomously in the UK, to working under constant supervision from the medical director, who doesn't trust anyone to do a good job. Even the work equipment wouldn't pass H&S tests in the UK. I'm setting myself up for another work related injury. And I'm not long recovered from back surgery. I miss UK supermarkets and the variety of food. I miss the clothes shops. I miss UK festivals. I miss Christmas in the UK. I miss my solid group of friends. I miss UK tv. I'm at a crossroads now. I have taken a career break but I need to return before August 2013, in order to keep my rota position. My cousin is taking care of my cats so I could get my babies back if I returned. I can eventually buy another house. Most of you that know me on here, will know that I'm a fairly level headed, outgoing, happy type of person. I have no trouble making friends and fitting it. And I have friends here. I'm not being especially over emotional about the whole thing. I'm quite happy in my own skin and I enjoy my own company, so it's not a case of feeling isolated here. But I feel empty most of the time, these days. And it's not depression or the usual emotional upheaval involved in emigrating. It's taken for me to come here, to realize what's important to me. I want my old life back. So I have a decision to make and not long to make it......:eek: Entertaining as the banter is ... we should stick to the OP, if we end up deleting the off topic posts poor Dublin whose only just joined will lose half of his post count. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 You look better than me though Dom!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted December 5, 2012 Share Posted December 5, 2012 I think skip is right- it is a mindset thing. If you are determined enough and you know the alternative is not viable- you settle.No wallowing, you just get on with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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