Am I crazy??

[Perthbum]

Yes since we told people we're going home i've very quickly picked up on the genuinly happy people and those who are trapped by their responses! Some have been honest over time that here ain't so perfect for them but they are trapped by finances or kids educational needs!

There are lots of people "trapped"in oz for whatever reasons.

[Sara8]

I know I've give advice on here to people in the same boat and I have advised them to stick it out. That was until I found myself in the same position. I never I would end up in this situation.

 

I arrived 2 months ago. I set myself up in a lovely apartment, got a nicer car than I've ever previously owned and I started work as a Paramedic. I have steadily been making friends and I am out every weekend, having a pretty decent social life. The weather is great most of the time and Brisbane is a beautiful city. Things are more expensive but not so bad if you shop around. The people are lovely and keen to help me settle in.

 

What's wrong with this picture?:eek:

 

I'm 35 years old. I assumed I knew what I was doing, as I had moved from Ireland to the UK many years ago and struggled to settle down. I had a plan for when I landed in Oz, based on what I had experienced before. The 2 experiences are miles apart from each other.

 

Looking back on what I had in the UK, I had it all. I had great friends and family. I had a beautiful house and 2 gorgeous cats. I was frustrated in my job but everyone I worked with felt the same. My life was full and I was happy. But I have always been someone who likes a challenge. And coming to Oz was my challenge. The grass isn't always greener.....:no:

 

I miss the things I never thought I would. I miss the weather. Working as a Paramedic in the humidity is a killer. I have constant headaches no matter how much water I drink. I don't sleep as well because of it. I miss my old job and my work mates. The job here has reverted back 10 years and my experience that they wanted, isn't valued at all. I've gone from working autonomously in the UK, to working under constant supervision from the medical director, who doesn't trust anyone to do a good job. Even the work equipment wouldn't pass H&S tests in the UK. I'm setting myself up for another work related injury. And I'm not long recovered from back surgery. I miss UK supermarkets and the variety of food. I miss the clothes shops. I miss UK festivals. I miss Christmas in the UK. I miss my solid group of friends. I miss UK tv.

 

I'm at a crossroads now. I have taken a career break but I need to return before August 2013, in order to keep my rota position. My cousin is taking care of my cats so I could get my babies back if I returned. I can eventually buy another house.

 

Most of you that know me on here, will know that I'm a fairly level headed, outgoing, happy type of person. I have no trouble making friends and fitting it. And I have friends here. I'm not being especially over emotional about the whole thing. I'm quite happy in my own skin and I enjoy my own company, so it's not a case of feeling isolated here.

 

But I feel empty most of the time, these days. And it's not depression or the usual emotional upheaval involved in emigrating. It's taken for me to come here, to realize what's important to me. I want my old life back.

 

So I have a decision to make and not long to make it......:eek:

 

Completely understand where your coming from. Hubby & I have been here 5 weeks tomorrow & are feeling very homesick!!! I know its very early days for us but I thought as we have always wanted to come live here that we would easily adjust & settle. I have been here many times before so knew sort of what to expect but hubby has never been here before so finding it quite hard especially as he is still job hunting & finding it quite frustrating.

I know exactly what you mean re the job, I thought I was unhappy in my previous job but now realise just how much I loved it & I really miss my friends & colleagues. I am a nurse working in a private hospital where they do things completely differently to the UK & in somethings are way behind but unlike you I tend to have way too much autonomy which is scaring the life out of me! There are just some things I think I would prefer to be told to do then make a decision for myself if you get the gist (generally something you would wait to be instructed to do in UK). They also tend to use the brand name rather than the generic drug name which I find really confusing but im sure I will get use to in time.

Like you we had a fairly good life in the UK & your right when you say it makes you realise what you had & have given up. Never thought we would say it but we are really missing the supermarkets too amongst a lot of other things especially our car as not been able to buy one yet our funds were quite tight & had some unexpected expenses. Luckily we are having out cat flown over, he arrives Monday so maybe it will make us feel better. We have decided to give it 12 months then see how we feel. Hopefully in time we will adjust & feel more settle.

I hope you do feel better soon, whatever is meant to be will be, there's no right or wrong answer in life & you have to do whats best for you. You know the saying 'regret the things you have done not the things you havent' Its a great adventure...enjoy it your home will always be there.

 

Your not crazy at all, just human...in an alien world! Goodluck xxx

 

Ps right now I am craving a 'MCvities' digestive biscuit of all things lol!

[Sara8]

By the way you know most retailers ship out here from UK now although don't know what the tax implications are but not too expensive postage wise IMO. Might be useful until you get familiar with the shops & fashion here. That's an option for me anyway. Get the summer stuff in the sale ready for summer here

[ghost]

Hey Missus B. I felt the same, mine came afer abut 4 months. We decided to move back. But Id give it until 6 before you make a decision. Your one of the lucky ones, you can pretty much slot back in at home. Good luck whatever you decided.

[Missus B]

I think one of the biggest problems with you ( and many others on PIO ) is that they have a " fallback" or a "get out of jail free card". Like you said, you can go back to your old job, get your cats back etc etc, which means that you'll never be able to settle down, knowing that if things go "t*ts up" you can jump on a plane and pick up life where you left it in th UK..... If you didn't have this what would you do/be thinking?

 

just my 2 cents

 

How little you know.....I may have a job back in the UK but there has been a massive restructure within the organisation last week and I could potentially be stationed miles away from home. My days will be longer than here with the extra travel. I already work 12 hours a day. I don't particularly want to spend another 2-3 hours a day travelling to and from work. I also sold my house at a loss to come out here. So, contrary to what you think, I cannot just pick up life where I left it in the UK. Life as I left it in the UK with a familiar rota and nice house, is gone. I will be starting from scratch and will find it more difficult than here, to get back on the property ladder.

 

I'm quite happy to settle down anywhere but what I won't do is settle for a place that lacks depth for me, just because I spent all of this money getting here. Money isn't everything. Maybe you see it as a ''get out of jail free card''. Well, I say I'm lucky to have one then. Many don't.But if I didn't have one, I'd rather be living on the bread line in the UK. I am doing better financially here than I have done in years. But all the money in the world won't make you happy if you're not where you belong.

[Guest Guest16631]

..........and that is what counts mrs B..............a feeling of belonging...........some will always be looking for it............so if you know where it is for you............good luck...........I wish you well............your courage and determination.............is admirable...........tink x

[Perthbum]

Yes I am saying that you have more chance of settling somewhere else when you don't have that fallback plan ready....... it's easier to say after a few month, " I don't like it here, it's too expensive, no decent pubs, food bla bla bla I want to go back". Where as there are so many people that do stick it out because they can't or don't want to pack up and unsettle their family again, and after a yr or 2 actually do enjoy it, and realise that oz is a different country, with different habbits, things & people than back @ home and embrace these things..... Obviously there are people that wish they did go back, or actually did go back within a few months, and have settled in back at home, and look back and think, well at least I gave it a go.... hats off for all of these people:yes:

Obviously if someone is still miserable after a yr or more, than sure go back, but to pay all that money, go through the hell of a visa route and give up after a few months is IMO complete madness... get down to the bottom of the reason why you actually wanted to leave home and immigrate to Oz........

Everyone is different and thank god for that, I was just asking here, what would Missus B do if there wasn't a job to go back to...

 

I have packed up 4 times in my life and moved to different countries, and wish I could have gone back plenty of times, but I couldn't, and I embraced the different countries I lived in, and this has made me the person I am now :xmas26:

So what, does not make you a better person because you decided to stay in whatever country, you ave to realise that somepeople do not embrace a country because thy don't bloody like it.

[Guest guest74886]

How little you know.....I may have a job back in the UK but there has been a massive restructure within the organisation last week and I could potentially be stationed miles away from home. My days will be longer than here with the extra travel. I already work 12 hours a day. I don't particularly want to spend another 2-3 hours a day travelling to and from work. I also sold my house at a loss to come out here. So, contrary to what you think, I cannot just pick up life where I left it in the UK. Life as I left it in the UK with a familiar rota and nice house, is gone. I will be starting from scratch and will find it more difficult than here, to get back on the property ladder.

 

 

I'm quite happy to settle down anywhere but what I won't do is settle for a place that lacks depth for me, just because I spent all of this money getting here. Money isn't everything. Maybe you see it as a ''get out of jail free card''. Well, I say I'm lucky to have one then. Many don't.But if I didn't have one, I'd rather be living on the bread line in the UK. I am doing better financially here than I have done in years. But all the money in the world won't make you happy if you're not where you belong.

 

I really sympathise, I think the only way we have managed the 8 years is because we are a couple who have supported each other in trying to make this work and we have managed it because going back before would have cost my wife her career, if it wasn't for those two factors I think we would have been off a long time ago.

Have you seriously looked at employment in another state, we only really realised about 3 years ago how backward QLD is and that it is not representative of all the cities here, people on here will be able to give you a better run down on places than I can but I think Adelaide is supposed to be a bit easier on the eye and the physique than here in terms of people, environment and climate.

If its not going to be that easy to get back in in the UK it might be worth thinking of this as a 2-3 year option to get some dollars in the Bank, think about sending dollars back as pounds to a UK bank account whilst the dollar is so strong as a means of giving a meaning to being here.

 

[Perthbum]

I really sympathise, I think the only way we have managed the 8 years is because we are a couple who have supported each other in trying to make this work and we have managed it because going back before would have cost my wife her career, if it wasn't for those two factors I think we would have been off a long time ago.

Have you seriously looked at employment in another state, we only really realised about 3 years ago how backward QLD is and that it is not representative of all the cities here, people on here will be able to give you a better run down on places than I can but I think Adelaide is supposed to be a bit easier on the eye and the physique than here in terms of people, environment and climate.

If its not going to be that easy to get back in in the UK it might be worth thinking of this as a 2-3 year option to get some dollars in the Bank, think about sending dollars back as pounds to a UK bank account whilst the dollar is so strong as a means of giving a meaning to being here.

 

But who says you would not ave ad a better life if you ad returned to the UK 8 years ago, it amazes me that people keep saying give it longer...why? If you don't like a place you don't like it, what is this magic about oz that makes people try and convince the OP to give it longer.

[Guest guest74886]

But who says you would not ave ad a better life if you ad returned to the UK 8 years ago, it amazes me that people keep saying give it longer...why? If you don't like a place you don't like it, what is this magic about oz that makes people try and convince the OP to give it longer.

 

It took us time to realise the draw backs to Oz and it was a better life than the UK offered initially and subsequently my wife's career took off here but it has come down at the end of the day to coping with the attitudes of Qld'ers towards outsiders and their inability to accept change without constantly fighting it which has finally exhausted my wife and by osmosis me also.

I am also becoming more and more aware of the what I feel is a very anti 'human rights' component in Australian public life which legitimises some pretty outrageous attitudes and behaviour here, that and the feeling that a lot of public life is dominated by a very despotic form of nepotism which you have to be party to here if you want to get on.

It has taken time for those realisations to take the gloss off things and corrode our confidence that is working for us, that has all coincided with us wanting a set of different options which we cannot see Oz giving us.

We kept on because like lots of people the financial consequences were too disastrous to contemplate and I suppose a fair degree of pride on both our parts not to be seen as not having made a success of the move downunder and not wanting to admit also that I had succumbed to OZ's spin which it is for ever out there with.

[Guest GeorgeD]

But who says you would not ave ad a better life if you ad returned to the UK 8 years ago, it amazes me that people keep saying give it longer...why? If you don't like a place you don't like it, what is this magic about oz that makes people try and convince the OP to give it longer.

 

It's the same magic that makes people try and convince you to give a new house, job, car, hairstyle, pair of shoes or anything else a little longer. In other words, there's no magic. There's nothing special about Oz. I bought a set of speakers a few weeks back and wasn't overly impressed with them. I wanted to take them back, but my wife said to give them some time to wear in. So I did, and I think they're great now. No magic...

 

The length of time you give something a go before you decide to move on from it is different for each person. I'm amazed it amazes you why people say give it longer...they say it because that was their experience. Others knew when they stepped off the plane they wanted to leave. That doesn't amaze me because everyone's experience is different, and good luck to them all.

 

Missus B has also brought up an interesting point...life goes on and does change...so going back doesn't mean you can slot back into your old life exactly the way it was. That's one reason I haven't gone back for a holiday yet. I fear I'd be disappointed...my friends would have new friends, I would have missed a couple of years and it wouldn't be the same. I have very fond memories, but for me that's all they are, memories. Many have gone back and loved it, but there are of course those who go back and then turn around and go to Oz again. The suggestion of giving it a bit longer is maybe to help avoid this scenario. I know people who've done it...emigrated to Oz/gone back to the Uk/gone back to Oz again all in 12 months. It cost them a fortune ($10-$15K in container shipping alone!) and the upheaval was massive for them and their families.

[Paul1Perth]

Ps right now I am craving a 'MCvities' digestive biscuit of all things lol!

 

You can get McVities in loads of places. Our local IGA has all the varieties, including the dark chocolate. Most IGA's will try and get things for you if you ask.

[ali]

You can get McVities in loads of places. Our local IGA has all the varieties, including the dark chocolate. Most IGA's will try and get things for you if you ask.

 

I love our local IGA, they got in some homepride curry sauce (great with chips!!).

[Bob1]

it amazes me that people keep saying give it longer...why? If you don't like a place you don't like it, what is this magic about oz that makes people try and convince the OP to give it longer

 

Because many of the reasons you don't like it will disappear the longer you are there. I remember going into the city for the first time and being shocked that I didn't know any of the shops except the Body Shop and feeling like an alien. Two years down the track I know what is in every shop - in the same way I knew the differences between Next and Dorthy Perkins in the UK. I didn't have an established friendship group - that takes a while to build up but once that is in place you feel more like you belong. I didn't know the geography of the place and driving into the city to find a carpark was stressful - more you do it, it becomes second nature. I was in rented accommodation after owning for my own house - wasn't allowed o paint or put a picture on the wall - that felt alien, so I did craft classes to compensate for wanting to be creative. I didn't know Aussie brands of food/ washing powder etc, the news in the paper was all alien as I didn't understand the politics, knew none of the celebraties, knew nothing about the sports team or AFL, the music and bands, the TV programmes, couldn't find a radio station I liked, magazines were meaningless as I didn't know any of the people in them. But gradually, very gradually it all sneaks in and you become acclimatised, you begin to understand Australia and with that becomes a sense of belonging. If you jump ship without giving all this a chance then you've wasted your money to get here.

[ali]

it amazes me that people keep saying give it longer...why? If you don't like a place you don't like it, what is this magic about oz that makes people try and convince the OP to give it longer

 

Because many of the reasons you don't like it will disappear the longer you are there. I remember going into the city for the first time and being shocked that I didn't know any of the shops except the Body Shop and feeling like an alien. Two years down the track I know what is in every shop - in the same way I knew the differences between Next and Dorthy Perkins in the UK. I didn't have an established friendship group - that takes a while to build up but once that is in place you feel more like you belong. I didn't know the geography of the place and driving into the city to find a carpark was stressful - more you do it, it becomes second nature. I was in rented accommodation after owning for my own house - wasn't allowed o paint or put a picture on the wall - that felt alien, so I did craft classes to compensate for wanting to be creative. I didn't know Aussie brands of food/ washing powder etc, the news in the paper was all alien as I didn't understand the politics, knew none of the celebraties, knew nothing about the sports team or AFL, the music and bands, the TV programmes, couldn't find a radio station I liked, magazines were meaningless as I didn't know any of the people in them. But gradually, very gradually it all sneaks in and you become acclimatised, you begin to understand Australia and with that becomes a sense of belonging. If you jump ship without giving all this a chance then you've wasted your money to get here.

 

 

When I was younger, I moved from my home town to live in another with my then boyfriend (now husband). It was only 50 miles but at the time I didn't drive, I had to live in the nurses home in the old asylum because that's the job i'd got, and as most asylums were out in the sticks I felt pretty isolated, new job, no friends, only knew my hubby and his family. I hated living in the nurses home for the first 3 months until we bought a house, I missed everything about my old town, but as time went on I started to settle, I became more familiar with my new home town, I made friends and we had a place to call our own. When I visited my old friends, whilst having a great time, you realise that you're now no longer part of their everyday lives and tend then to talk about past events and what you shared - my visits 'back home' became less frequent other than to visit my dad.

 

Whilst it didn't have the thousands of miles that moving to Aus has, the experience did help me to rationalise that things often do get better given time (I appreciate not for everyone).

[northshorepom]

it amazes me that people keep saying give it longer...why? If you don't like a place you don't like it, what is this magic about oz that makes people try and convince the OP to give it longer

 

Because many of the reasons you don't like it will disappear the longer you are there. I remember going into the city for the first time and being shocked that I didn't know any of the shops except the Body Shop and feeling like an alien. Two years down the track I know what is in every shop - in the same way I knew the differences between Next and Dorthy Perkins in the UK. I didn't have an established friendship group - that takes a while to build up but once that is in place you feel more like you belong. I didn't know the geography of the place and driving into the city to find a carpark was stressful - more you do it, it becomes second nature. I was in rented accommodation after owning for my own house - wasn't allowed o paint or put a picture on the wall - that felt alien, so I did craft classes to compensate for wanting to be creative. I didn't know Aussie brands of food/ washing powder etc, the news in the paper was all alien as I didn't understand the politics, knew none of the celebraties, knew nothing about the sports team or AFL, the music and bands, the TV programmes, couldn't find a radio station I liked, magazines were meaningless as I didn't know any of the people in them. But gradually, very gradually it all sneaks in and you become acclimatised, you begin to understand Australia and with that becomes a sense of belonging. If you jump ship without giving all this a chance then you've wasted your money to get here.

 

When I was younger, I moved from my home town to live in another with my then boyfriend (now husband). It was only 50 miles but at the time I didn't drive, I had to live in the nurses home in the old asylum because that's the job i'd got, and as most asylums were out in the sticks I felt pretty isolated, new job, no friends, only knew my hubby and his family. I hated living in the nurses home for the first 3 months until we bought a house, I missed everything about my old town, but as time went on I started to settle, I became more familiar with my new home town, I made friends and we had a place to call our own. When I visited my old friends, whilst having a great time, you realise that you're now no longer part of their everyday lives and tend then to talk about past events and what you shared - my visits 'back home' became less frequent other than to visit my dad.

 

Whilst it didn't have the thousands of miles that moving to Aus has, the experience did help me to rationalise that things often do get better given time (I appreciate not for everyone).

 

I quite like both these posts but at the risk of speaking for Missus B, this ain't her first rodeo. As per previous, I've moved countries quite a few times and whether or not I have settled quickly (or at all) IME is pretty random and emotionally driven - I couldn't have researched or predicted which ones would work for me and which wouldn't, because they were all about how living in a place made me feel. Every time you move to a new country, all the stuff Bob1 puts in his post apply, it's all new and you don't understand/get it at first. But some of those new countries felt right very quickly, and some didn't. For me time, beyond an initial settling in phase of a few weeks, didn't make much difference

[ramot]

Like other posters I have moved about all my nomadic life. Have lived in 5 countries, and as Northshorepom says some good, some not so good and some difficult. I moved to Africa on my own in the 1960's, that wasn't easy as I didn't drive and there was no public transport, but I survived. Moved often after getting married as husband was in the sevices. One of the hardest things is the feeling of being displaced as nothing is familiar, but on the whole it does get easier with time. For me the first time I recognise someone when I'm out is a major milestone.

I've posted about this before, but we moved to Brunei and my husband had to go away for a couple of weeks only a few days after we arrived. I knew no-one, and the local workmen near our house were wearing balaclavas during the day. It totally spooked me till I realised it was to keep the sun off them during the heat of the day, so I got used to it. 9 years later I was so sad to leave, I adjusted to living in a Muslim country and made such special friends.

Adjusting to a new life is very personal, there can be a feeling of a big let down after all the stress and excitement prior to the move, and there is no failure in admitting it isn't for you.

[Harpodom]

How little you know.....I may have a job back in the UK but there has been a massive restructure within the organisation last week and I could potentially be stationed miles away from home. My days will be longer than here with the extra travel. I already work 12 hours a day. I don't particularly want to spend another 2-3 hours a day travelling to and from work. I also sold my house at a loss to come out here. So, contrary to what you think, I cannot just pick up life where I left it in the UK. Life as I left it in the UK with a familiar rota and nice house, is gone. I will be starting from scratch and will find it more difficult than here, to get back on the property ladder.

 

I'm quite happy to settle down anywhere but what I won't do is settle for a place that lacks depth for me, just because I spent all of this money getting here. Money isn't everything. Maybe you see it as a ''get out of jail free card''. Well, I say I'm lucky to have one then. Many don't.But if I didn't have one, I'd rather be living on the bread line in the UK. I am doing better financially here than I have done in years. But all the money in the world won't make you happy if you're not where you belong.

can you put your finger on what is lacking Mrs B?

[Missus B]

Not really Dom. It's a culmination of a few different things. But certainly in my work environment, the resistance to change is overwhelming. I have been sponsored so I have to give them a couple of years before going anywhere else. I don't think the solution is to move somewhere else. The problem is not that I don't like Queensland. The problem is, I don't want to be anywhere else, only back home. So moving to a different city or state, is not going to help with that. It only prolongs the dicomfort of being here.

[Wellers and Whitehead]

Not really Dom. It's a culmination of a few different things. But certainly in my work environment, the resistance to change is overwhelming. I have been sponsored so I have to give them a couple of years before going anywhere else. I don't think the solution is to move somewhere else. The problem is not that I don't like Queensland. The problem is, I don't want to be anywhere else, only back home. So moving to a different city or state, is not going to help with that. It only prolongs the dicomfort of being here.[/QUO

Spot on! I think health and social care jobs are sooooooo very different in Oz, something I am struggling with also. have read your posts and it is so similar to how I think/feel. :-)

[hardtochase]

The job here has reverted back 10 years and my experience that they wanted, isn't valued at all. I've gone from working autonomously in the UK, to working under constant supervision from the medical director, who doesn't trust anyone to do a good job.

 

Oh my goodness, I just came here to agree with this statement. I could have written this (apart from mine would say buying director rather than medical director. Why do they employ people from overseas if they don't want us to use what we know!?

[Perthbum]

It's the same magic that makes people try and convince you to give a new house, job, car, hairstyle, pair of shoes or anything else a little longer. In other words, there's no magic. There's nothing special about Oz. I bought a set of speakers a few weeks back and wasn't overly impressed with them. I wanted to take them back, but my wife said to give them some time to wear in. So I did, and I think they're great now. No magic...

 

The length of time you give something a go before you decide to move on from it is different for each person. I'm amazed it amazes you why people say give it longer...they say it because that was their experience. Others knew when they stepped off the plane they wanted to leave. That doesn't amaze me because everyone's experience is different, and good luck to them all.

 

Missus B has also brought up an interesting point...life goes on and does change...so going back doesn't mean you can slot back into your old life exactly the way it was. That's one reason I haven't gone back for a holiday yet. I fear I'd be disappointed...my friends would have new friends, I would have missed a couple of years and it wouldn't be the same. I have very fond memories, but for me that's all they are, memories. Many have gone back and loved it, but there are of course those who go back and then turn around and go to Oz again. The suggestion of giving it a bit longer is maybe to help avoid this scenario. I know people who've done it...emigrated to Oz/gone back to the Uk/gone back to Oz again all in 12 months. It cost them a fortune ($10-$15K in container shipping alone!) and the upheaval was massive for them and their families.

I also think that a lt ping pong back to oz and then find yet in they want to return to the UK but have not the funds or even the willpower to do another ping pong, any rope are stuck in oz but gave no way of returning, mrs b has obviously tried oz but wants to return home, when you weigh up the pros and cons of both countries there is hardly a paper wrapper between them but people go on that you must give it longer ......why? It is not as though mrs b is returning to Afghanistan, why don't people say you must give the UK mire Tim before ping ponging back?

[calNgary]

, why don't people say you must give the UK mire Tim before ping ponging back?

 

Probably because most of us gave it 30 years plus to start with,,lol

 

Cal x

[Harpodom]

I also think that a lt ping pong back to oz and then find yet in they want to return to the UK but have not the funds or even the willpower to do another ping pong, any rope are stuck in oz but gave no way of returning, mrs b has obviously tried oz but wants to return home, when you weigh up the pros and cons of both countries there is hardly a paper wrapper between them but people go on that you must give it longer ......why? It is not as though mrs b is returning to Afghanistan, why don't people say you must give the UK mire Tim before ping ponging back?

I'd advise anyone, whichever direction theyve gone, to give it enough time, as the change in environment can be very unsettling.

[Perthbum]

Probably because most of us gave it 30 years plus to start with,,lol

 

Cal x

Why do so many return to that 30 year place though cal.