Guest London Girl Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I have just got back to the UK and really feel terrible like i may of made the wrong decision and i stupidly left debts when I left so finding it hard to find a way to find somewhere to live has anyone else felt this way i am at my wits end and cant stop crying thinking what a huge mistake i have made i really think i have screwed up I even rung the shipping company but it is too late the stuff has gone left sydney. please can someone tell me what to do my family are not as supportive as I hoped and feel so alone in the cold. spent three years in australia and hated it in the end and now i hate england what is wrong with me. thanks anyone for your support or advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest proud2beaussie Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 You have been through a lot lately London Girl,you spent quite a long time in Australia and it's obvious that you weren't happy here,it's going to take some time for you to readjust to being back in your homeland,all I can do is suggest that you take each day as it comes and don't rush into making decisions that you might regret,why not ring your local citizens advice bureau to ask them for advice,they do excellent work from what I have been told,there should be an office reasonably close to you. Take it slowly,remember your family haven't seen you for three years so it's going to tale some time for them to adjust as well. And remember that PIO is here for you 24 hours a day. Good Luck. N'oz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PommyPaul Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 if it was me in you situation i'd try and stop thinking about which is best etc for awhile and just get a job where you are, get your own place and then once settled into a routine again start to assess the situation. Also i know this is easier said than done but its way too easy to over think things, try to literally clear your mind of thinks you worry about, as soon as you begin to mull over the stressful things say to yourself no and just stop thinking about them, the right path comes easier with a clear unstressed mind. best of luck to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackboots Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 hi there , i hope you get sorted soon , you have gone through a massive emotional rollercoaster , not much advice from me , but hugs and hope you can talk to some one who may give you some decent advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratchet Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 i think the above posts says it all really. Take your time to adjust. Good luck and big hugs to you.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bod Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I have just got back to the UK and really feel terrible like i may of made the wrong decision and i stupidly left debts when I left so finding it hard to find a way to find somewhere to live has anyone else felt this way i am at my wits end and cant stop crying thinking what a huge mistake i have made i really think i have screwed up I even rung the shipping company but it is too late the stuff has gone left sydney. please can someone tell me what to do my family are not as supportive as I hoped and feel so alone in the cold. spent three years in australia and hated it in the end and now i hate england what is wrong with me. thanks anyone for your support or advice. Hello London Girl It was always going to be tough coming home. If anyone thinks it's going to be the end of all thire problems dream on. Life is tough but you need to sort your mind out before you think of flitting back off to Aus. I'm not saying the UK is better than Aus but you just need to take a deep breath find your feet and get some roots down, these past couple of weeks have been a bit misserble, but thats England its been like that since before the Romans decided that it was not for them. Spring wll be hear soon and you may look at life a little diffrent. I know just how you feel been there and brought the Tshirt. Have you tried the councils to see if they have any flats to rent? Ware are you living at the mo? Are you having real problems getting credit because of your bad dep't. Good Luck LG things can get better. JohnX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest siamsusie Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I have just got back to the UK and really feel terrible like i may of made the wrong decision and i stupidly left debts when I left so finding it hard to find a way to find somewhere to live has anyone else felt this way i am at my wits end and cant stop crying thinking what a huge mistake i have made i really think i have screwed up I even rung the shipping company but it is too late the stuff has gone left sydney. please can someone tell me what to do my family are not as supportive as I hoped and feel so alone in the cold. spent three years in australia and hated it in the end and now i hate england what is wrong with me. thanks anyone for your support or advice. LondonGirl:hug: you have seen the "pingpongers" on PIO, you are not alone... Australia remains here, once you have sorted out your finances and your "head", you can always come back and try a different state. There is nothing wrong with you, for some people it takes a few goes before they find their "cosy factor" in this world. You have learnt so much which after all is what travel is all about:wubclub: love Susie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest17301 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Sorry to hear this LondonGirl, I really am. I think things may look better once you have a home and the weather warms up, summer is on it's way. Stay strong, PIO is always here for you. Take care of yourself.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 If you were posting from Aus, we'd be telling you to give yourself time to adjust and adapt to your new surroundings. Have you had a chat with your family? You say they're not being as supportive as you hoped ... they may not understand that you need a bit more TLC at the moment ... they may not be able to guess, so you may have to tell them. Hope things work out for you soon .... you'll be heading for spring soon and that's always a great time of year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olly Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Agree with other posts Londongirl, give yourself some time to adjust, I felt a bit uneasy when I arrived home after several years overseas, it took me a while to adjust back to my old life again but I did. Don't be too hard on yourself, hope it will all work out for you, maybe take one day at a time. You are always welcome back otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 :hug: As all the others have said, give it time! I guess if you have learned one lesson though, it is never to leave debts behind you as they can bite you in the bum. But at least now you know and you can do something about it. Go easy on your family - they have made a life for themselves while you have been swanning it off in Australia and it may take them a little while to realize the enormity of what is happening for you. I hope you can get yourself a job first off and perhaps try a flat share or something to begin with - have you checked out The Gumtree for London? It's a good resource, aimed initially at Aussies heading over but definitely for the more itinerant travellers. It will take you some time to find your feet again and what you are probably experiencing is that huge fear of the unknown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bettyboop Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I have followed some of your recent posts and you have really been going though it, dont be so hard on yourself your emotions have been all over the place for a while now you have to give yourself some time to settle. I know you said your family have not been very supportive but what about friends that you may have left in the UK, since you returned have you been able to get together with any of them? a good girlie night out in an English pub might give you a night off from worrying about the future, just take each day as it comes and just remember that Australia is not going anywhere. Try not to regret the decisions you have made because they were the right ones at the time you made them and just think how brave you are; you left UK to try life in Oz and now you have returned after a few years, all massive life changing moves that take a lot of guts to go through with. Give yourself time before you make any major decisions. Big hugs to you, Angie xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest smileykylie Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 hi londongirl - I am feeling your pain but in reverse!!! I have just moved from the UK back to Australia and am thinking 'what have I done'. It is a bit of an anticlimax once you actually do something you have been waiting for. It is also hard not to set yourself up as you may have been thinking that your life in the UK was going to be very different - in other words a bit of a fantasy life so the real thing just does not cut it. You do need to give yourself some time and acknowledge that you have made a HUGE move which is bound to have big emotions attached to it. Take it day by day but make a bit of a plan of what needs to be done so you have some focus and routine to your day. It will get easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sykestykes Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Hi London Girl I'm really sorry you're feeling so down. You have been through the mill for a while now and your head will still be all over the place. Try to take one step at a time, in order of importance, such as: 1. You need a place to live longer term. Can anyone help you out with a room to let for example until you are more secure financially? 2. You need help with your debt problem. Lots of people are finding it hard with debt in the UK at the moment and while I don't know the extent of yours and how far down the debt recovery line you are, I would urge you to contact your local CAB or the Consumer Credit Counselling Service www.cccs.co.uk for advice on how to stave off any further action if that's still a viable option. Neither organisations charges for its advice and the staff are approachable and helpful too. This scenario is why I always beg people not to leave the UK with unpaid debts, because you never know when they will return to haunt you and debts don't disappear just because you have. 3. Your family will get used to you being around again in time. The thing is, their lives have plodded on without you during the time you have gone. Because their lives haven't changed, they won't realise just how much yours has - and how very much you need their support right now. Keep in touch with them and don't blame them for what seems like indifference, it may just be that they honestly don't realise how things have been for you. I'm sure in time if they have been supportive in the past, they will pull out all the stops again to help you settle back into your old life. 4. Finally, don't forget that PIO is here 24 hours a day to lean on, there's always someone to help and I really hope that things improve massively for you as time goes on. Big :hug::hug: Sue x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Taytoconnorrs Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 So sorry to hear that you are in such an unhappy state. From reading back on your previous posts its seems you really did hate Australia. I'm no expert but it seems your problems are more than geographical. Have you considered talking to someone? If you did come back to Australia I know you can get 16 one hour sessions on counseling under the medicare scheme. I guess I'd weigh up what country you think has more to offer you, maybe a pro's and cons list and also long term prospects. You could always sell the stuff you shipped if you feel you made a mistake and just by some stuff in Ikea. If you do move back to Sydney I'll be your friend, I haven't met any yet worth calling friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Aldo Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 you need to give it 2 years seriously though, have you signed on? any "friendly" landlords:wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest John Locke Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Londongirl, I can`t really add anything to the brilliant advice already given, I`ve not been back in the U.K that long and although it feels right for us as a family, I can understand why some get back and think "oh, what have I done?" Even though it`s your homeland and it`s all familiar, there can still a bit of a jolt when you get back and I found that although friends and family have been terrific they don`t really understand the emotional weight attatched, their lives have just continued as normal and to them I`ve simply been living in Oz, didn`t like it much, and now I`m back. (when those of us who have been through it know there is so much more involved) I think if you fly straight back to Oz you will find all the reasons you wanted to leave still there and wondering just where the hell it is you belong...Give it time, it`s not as easy as stepping off the plane and just naturally fitting back into the British way of life, it takes awhile to adapt and get back into the swing of things, back into the loop...one day myself and my family were in sunny Australia, great income, lovely home....the next we were homeless and apprehensive not only in cold and rainy Colchester but the coldest spell in Britain for decades!!...things like that can have an impact on you, but once things started happening, roof over our heads, schools, etc, feelings and emotions start to settle down and fall into place. All the best and again, give it some time...often, when the dust of the emotional debris has settled things take on a different perspective...and as was said above, spring soon, fingers crossed we may even get a summer, lol, and things may start to look clearer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry & Melanie Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 :hug: :hug: :hug: Melanie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest London Girl Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Thanks to all of you for your brilliant advice. I am in a real state it is sleeting here and trying to work out what to do. There is another thing, I think I mentioned I got arrested when I got drunk one night and touched a policeman, the thing is I skipped bail in australia too which makes it even worse did not even go to court and I believe I have been convicted in my absence. Everything went wrong so wrong, my partner was abusive and I am scared if I go back that I will be arrested and then if I stay here I will be caught by debt collectors. I know I have messed up but I am now thinking new zealand. I know I need counselling I have been through too much but in the meantime it is so hard to stay strong thank you all of you for your support you dont know how much it means to me your all I have got right now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keily Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Thanks to all of you for your brilliant advice. I am in a real state it is sleeting here and trying to work out what to do. There is another thing, I think I mentioned I got arrested when I got drunk one night and touched a policeman, the thing is I skipped bail in australia too which makes it even worse did not even go to court and I believe I have been convicted in my absence. Everything went wrong so wrong, my partner was abusive and I am scared if I go back that I will be arrested and then if I stay here I will be caught by debt collectors. I know I have messed up but I am now thinking new zealand. I know I need counselling I have been through too much but in the meantime it is so hard to stay strong thank you all of you for your support you dont know how much it means to me your all I have got right now hi londongirl .....i would strongly advise that you make an appointment to see a doctor who can refer you for some counselling .....you sound like you are completly in knots and unsure where to turn next !!! ......once you manage to get your mental state back on an even keel ...you can then be more focused on dealing with your debts ....and finding out through the ozzies courts if you have been fined or convicted ..you may be worrying about nothing ......running away to new zealand is not gona solve ur problems ...they will only follow you there ......try and talk your worries over with ur family ...even if they cant help you will feel much better by getting of your chest .....i really hope u can sort things out ...as a parent i would hate to think my daughter was going so much trauma and didnt tell me ...there is always a way to sort things out :hug: mrs keily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docboat Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 No. Do not run away again. If you do, you will take your problems with you - again. Stay, get your head together, sort out your issues and then and most importantly, decide what it is you WANT, not what you do not want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hey LG, You really need to stay still awhile and sort your head and heart out ... and you can do that by staying put. Nothing is going to change things that have happened ... but you can work through where you want to go next for you. As dobcat said, all you'll be doing is taking the problems with you .... give yourself a bit of time to sort things out before making any life decisions. Good luck xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PARBUTTN Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 hi London Girl, I have a friend who was in a simular situation. She left for Perth in july to join her brother and dad who ventured out years ago. After 10 days in Perth she came home! Lucky for her her container had not left and she was a specialist nurse at the local hospital and walked straight back intp her old job. Her mental state of mind was pitiful as i'm sure you feel so low yourself. She straight away got her job and bought a house and made new roots here, however, six months down the line she is adament she has made the wrong decision and is looking to go back to oz. She has realised the grass is never greener, just different! You need to give it some time and hopefully you will find it easier to make a decision. I hope you find comfort from this site as I do, and wish you well for your future. x Things will get better for you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest26012 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hi London Girl! Take a deep breath and try to think logically. You have been through a rough spot and you need to slow down and think about your situation. As others have said, get some counselling if you can. They are really good, i have accessed them in oz and they have proven to be invaluable! You are feeling negative so its easy to blow things out of proportion? Im not saying that your situation, to you, is not desperate, but please hold on and try to stay positive. We are all here for you so dont think you are alone. Take care now xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted February 8, 2010 Share Posted February 8, 2010 Hi Lg Seems you are in a bit of bother, but don't worry all is not lost...... The first thing you need to do is stop running away it never fixes anything, sticking your head in the sand just doesn't work. 2nd thing to do is call the police in Perth and find out what you need to do, is it a fine you need to pay or is there an arrest warrant out for you? If you're up front with people, the more people are likely to help you out, if not the police contact a solicitor and get some advice on what to do, something like this will not go away. Next, contact the people you owe money too, ask them will they reduce the amount you owe, most will knock off the charges straight away with others they will also knock off some of the balance, if you can't afford to pay in full either set up a payment plan (don't let them bully you into something you can't pay) or apply to go bankrupt, waiting for a knock on the door is far to late. Go and talk to someone, remember you have not failed, sometimes just talking to someone really does help, another good thing to do is go for a walk (may sound silly) but going for a walk helps you release the pressure. As for where is right for you only you know?! But I bet it won't be New Zealand, if you move there, you will only feel more trapped, depressed and lonely. I do promise you though, that once you make those calls, even though you maybe frightened, you will feel better. You need to take control back of your own life, once you have done that, nothing with bother you :wubclub::hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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