Six months in Oz - reality has set in

[Guest SophieKin]

Hi

 

I am new to this but thought I would like to post after spending my first 6 months here just to give people who are thinking of coming here an idea of what it is like.

 

I spent two years planning this move, I had been over to Australia a couple of times previously and I loved it and so decided to make plans to move here. The application was long winded and I honestly think personally I just went through the motions of applying without really thinking about how the move would affect me. The main concern for us was selling the house in the middle of a recession and my husband leaving a good job in the UK and finding work here. When I look back I didnt think about me or what I would do when I got here. We were lucky and sold the house but it was at this time I started to have major doubts but we had gone so far I blanked it out and concentrated on the move thinking it would be a better life for our children. Renting the house would have been a far better option as at least we would have something to return to.

 

Well we arrived, my husband found a really great job, we spend a couple of months sorting out all the usual things which took my mind off home, but deep down I was feeling awful. The buzz of the move had gone and here I was in a lovely house with the sun shining every day feeling so down. I appreciate that everyone is different and not everyone will feel like I do but I do wish I could turn back the clocks and go back to my old life. I have a lovely home here and we have a good income but it is not everything. the pull of my old life and family is just too much.

 

The things I have found most difficult are, a horrible feeling of being alone and not being able to call family because of the time difference, not being able to work because of childcare waiting lists etc, having a young family and no support network - this is so hard, the expense of living here - the only thing which is cheaper is petrol , food bills have doubled here and the variety and quality of food is poor compared to the UK. Whilst it is lovely being in the sun, throughout the summer it is too hot for young children and we spend most of the time indoors as we cant stand the 40 degree heat.

 

I have not posted on here to moan about Australia as I moved here because I was so fond of it but to me it is just a holiday place, real life here is so different. I hope anyone planning on making the move with a young family are 100% sure before they do it. As other people have mentioned make sure you have enough finances before coming here as the cost of everything will be a massive shock. The cost of living is not cheaper than the UK and generally wages are lower. If you are coming with a young family think of how you would cope without the support network you may have in the UK.

 

I am glad I came only because I would have always thought I had lost out on a fantastic opportunity to have a great life, but at least now I know the grass is no greener over here and the UK is the place where I want to be.

 

I wish everyone luck who is making the move but just make sure you have no doubts before you do it.

[paulv]

Hi

 

I am new to this but thought I would like to post after spending my first 6 months here just to give people who are thinking of coming here an idea of what it is like.

 

I spent two years planning this move, I had been over to Australia a couple of times previously and I loved it and so decided to make plans to move here. The application was long winded and I honestly think personally I just went through the motions of applying without really thinking about how the move would affect me. The main concern for us was selling the house in the middle of a recession and my husband leaving a good job in the UK and finding work here. When I look back I didnt think about me or what I would do when I got here. We were lucky and sold the house but it was at this time I started to have major doubts but we had gone so far I blanked it out and concentrated on the move thinking it would be a better life for our children. Renting the house would have been a far better option as at least we would have something to return to.

 

Well we arrived, my husband found a really great job, we spend a couple of months sorting out all the usual things which took my mind off home, but deep down I was feeling awful. The buzz of the move had gone and here I was in a lovely house with the sun shining every day feeling so down. I appreciate that everyone is different and not everyone will feel like I do but I do wish I could turn back the clocks and go back to my old life. I have a lovely home here and we have a good income but it is not everything. the pull of my old life and family is just too much.

 

The things I have found most difficult are, a horrible feeling of being alone and not being able to call family because of the time difference, not being able to work because of childcare waiting lists etc, having a young family and no support network - this is so hard, the expense of living here - the only thing which is cheaper is petrol , food bills have doubled here and the variety and quality of food is poor compared to the UK. Whilst it is lovely being in the sun, throughout the summer it is too hot for young children and we spend most of the time indoors as we cant stand the 40 degree heat.

 

I have not posted on here to moan about Australia as I moved here because I was so fond of it but to me it is just a holiday place, real life here is so different. I hope anyone planning on making the move with a young family are 100% sure before they do it. As other people have mentioned make sure you have enough finances before coming here as the cost of everything will be a massive shock. The cost of living is not cheaper than the UK and generally wages are lower. If you are coming with a young family think of how you would cope without the support network you may have in the UK.

 

I am glad I came only because I would have always thought I had lost out on a fantastic opportunity to have a great life, but at least now I know the grass is no greener over here and the UK is the place where I want to be.

 

I wish everyone luck who is making the move but just make sure you have no doubts before you do it.

 

Hi Sophie,

 

That's a well thought out and sobering post, one that I'm sure that many PIO'ers will find very useful. Support systems are indeed vital to us all, whether we realise it or not, and I hope that whatever the future brings for you and your family, you get to the place where you are all happy, as soon as is possible.

 

May I wish you and yours all the very best.

Please keep us posted on what the future brings for you.

 

Paul

[Guest wanderer]

Hi

 

I am new to this but thought I would like to post after spending my first 6 months here just to give people who are thinking of coming here an idea of what it is like.

 

I spent two years planning this move, I had been over to Australia a couple of times previously and I loved it and so decided to make plans to move here. The application was long winded and I honestly think personally I just went through the motions of applying without really thinking about how the move would affect me. The main concern for us was selling the house in the middle of a recession and my husband leaving a good job in the UK and finding work here. When I look back I didnt think about me or what I would do when I got here. We were lucky and sold the house but it was at this time I started to have major doubts but we had gone so far I blanked it out and concentrated on the move thinking it would be a better life for our children. Renting the house would have been a far better option as at least we would have something to return to.

 

Well we arrived, my husband found a really great job, we spend a couple of months sorting out all the usual things which took my mind off home, but deep down I was feeling awful. The buzz of the move had gone and here I was in a lovely house with the sun shining every day feeling so down. I appreciate that everyone is different and not everyone will feel like I do but I do wish I could turn back the clocks and go back to my old life. I have a lovely home here and we have a good income but it is not everything. the pull of my old life and family is just too much.

 

The things I have found most difficult are, a horrible feeling of being alone and not being able to call family because of the time difference, not being able to work because of childcare waiting lists etc, having a young family and no support network - this is so hard, the expense of living here - the only thing which is cheaper is petrol , food bills have doubled here and the variety and quality of food is poor compared to the UK. Whilst it is lovely being in the sun, throughout the summer it is too hot for young children and we spend most of the time indoors as we cant stand the 40 degree heat.

 

I have not posted on here to moan about Australia as I moved here because I was so fond of it but to me it is just a holiday place, real life here is so different. I hope anyone planning on making the move with a young family are 100% sure before they do it. As other people have mentioned make sure you have enough finances before coming here as the cost of everything will be a massive shock. The cost of living is not cheaper than the UK and generally wages are lower. If you are coming with a young family think of how you would cope without the support network you may have in the UK.

 

I am glad I came only because I would have always thought I had lost out on a fantastic opportunity to have a great life, but at least now I know the grass is no greener over here and the UK is the place where I want to be.

 

I wish everyone luck who is making the move but just make sure you have no doubts before you do it.

 

From previous posts Sophie, you're not alone in getting to Australia and being far from family and friends finding life different to a holiday and difficult in some ways.

 

The GFC/depressed housing prices etc. have not made it any easier and only time will tell how financially disadvantaged you'll be getting back to the UK.

 

There are also many in your shoes who on returning to the UK, again get second thoughts and it can for some be a boomerang trip back from Australia.

 

Six months ain't too long really but long enough if your kids are young and you're missing support but a couple of years could make all the difference.

 

Sure we can have 40C days in summer and well past that occasionally and more frequently in some places but it's not like that every summers day in most places and the many days that aren't, the summery springs and autumns blending into shorter milder winters certainly make up for it.

 

With the winter snows the UK and rest of the NH has had and could still get more of, perhaps that along with hotter summers downunder is a way of the future with the next Ice Age looming.

 

Global Warming:A Chilling Perspective is an interesting read!

 

Try and get out and meet other younger mothers, string up some shade sails in the backyard for the kids and life can be on the improve.

[sykestykes]

First of all, Sophie - :hug::hug:

 

Alot of how you feel is exactly how I felt when I arrived 11 months ago. The sun is shining, the kids and OH are happy, you should be too - but you can't feel the same no matter how you try. It was a total shock for me to feel that way, I was very committed to coming here.

 

That feeling of overwhelmingly missing loved ones and friends who you have known for ever still gets to me at times, I was particularly bad just after Christmas time. I too didn't have a job to go to (still don't, actually!) and those feelings of isolation can very quickly get you down and you miss people like you've never missed them before.

 

I can't see where in Oz you are from your post but if there's any PIO members nearby, I would encourage you to have a coffee or a chat with them just so you're not so lonely. You have some big decisions to make and I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

Sue x

[Guest sormesher]

i havent been in australia as long as you and i am feeling exactly the same. lovely place but i just cant bear the heat so i cant enjoy the outdoors. i too was the one that wanted to make this move my OH wasnt bothered if we stayed in the uk or moved. we are giving it two years and if the two years goes by and i feel like this every day i think i am going to go mad.

but then i think, what would i be doing in england and i worry that if we do go back in two years what would we do will we find work. its stupid to think like that i know.

i am hoping when i start work i will feel better but i just cant see it, i feel like i did whilst i was waiting to come over, in limbo.

i cant talk to my OH about it he thinks i am being silly and just doesnt appreciate my feelings.

what do you think you are going to do sophie?

thoughts go out to you

sarah

[Guest SophieKin]

Hi Sarah

 

I know exactly how your feel. To be honest I know I want to return to the UK. We did say before we came we would give it 2 years however there is no doubt in my mind, I really want to go home. I too think I would go crazy if I had to feel this way for 2 years so I dont think it is realistic to wait that long. I would hate my OH to have to leave his job just now as it is good experience so I will try to give it another 6 months and make some plans from then. My children are only young and the move has been such a big thing I dont think I could move them back just yet.

 

I am sure your OH will come round if you are still feeling this way in a few months. I have been like this since I arrived but it is only now my OH seems to appreciate how bad I feel.

 

Hope things work out for you, it does make it a bit easier knowing others do feel the same.

[TaniaColin]

Hi we have been here 6 months now, and i wish i had thought about the support network for my children, i have 4, 3 will now be starting school on monday but i still have my 3 year old with me, he goes to ABC nursery 3 days a week while i work, but the thought of him being stuck in nursery for the next 2 years does my head in. I miss my kids staying with their grandparents to. It is very difficult and i wish i had thought it through alot more

 

Tania x

[Jo&Rich]

We were in Australia just short of two years before going home to the UK; the reasons were very similar to everyones above, the main one being the support network. My kids were 5, 4 and 2 at the time, and I felt so bad about them not being with their family and vice versa.

 

We sold our house, cars, furniture, and spent a fortune moving back, having to buy everything again and pay rent upfront.

My initial feelings when back in the UK were what have I done (it was me pushing the move back); my son was very far behind at school, and we couldn't find work. It rained every day, which was harder to get used to than I thought when we were used to the Queensland weather. After a couple of months, we decided that it was a mistake, and returned to the Gold Coast, and we've been back since september 09.

 

I personally think I'd be happier in England, but on a day to day basis, our family life is better here. My son would probably have caught up at school, (he has just started Yr 1 here, would have been partway through Yr 2 in the UK due to cut off dates being different) but I hated seeing him so behind and struggling; here he is doing so well at school.

It has cost us an absolute fortune, and when we come to buy a house again it may be a problem getting together enough of a deposit.

 

However, if I hadn't done it (I can only speak for my feelings not my husband's) I would still be here wishing I was home. I still have days where I am unsettled; not working and having small children is difficult at the best of times, but with no family to rely on it's a nightmare at times.

 

Can't offer you any advice, because whatever you do, you probably won't know if it's been for the best until a bit of time has passed for you to assess your actions and feelings. If you go early, you could regret not giving it enough of a chance; if you stay you could regret all the time you spent feeling unhappy.

 

Wishing you and your family all the best, cos I know it's an awful feeling to have everyday.

Jo x

[Guest Hearne_Family]

Great post, very informative and a real eye opener. Its such a shame when things done work out but at least you will not be sat in the UK in 40-50 years time wondering 'what if?' You have given it a good try and for that you have shown more 'balls' than most people in this life, you are a do-er and not a talker, for that give yourself a pat on the back and get stuck into that warm beer and marmite when you return to the UK!

 

Keep us updated with how things go.

 

Terry

[Guest MSTO]

Hi

 

I am new to this but thought I would like to post after spending my first 6 months here just to give people who are thinking of coming here an idea of what it is like.

 

I spent two years planning this move, I had been over to Australia a couple of times previously and I loved it and so decided to make plans to move here. The application was long winded and I honestly think personally I just went through the motions of applying without really thinking about how the move would affect me. The main concern for us was selling the house in the middle of a recession and my husband leaving a good job in the UK and finding work here. When I look back I didnt think about me or what I would do when I got here. We were lucky and sold the house but it was at this time I started to have major doubts but we had gone so far I blanked it out and concentrated on the move thinking it would be a better life for our children. Renting the house would have been a far better option as at least we would have something to return to.

 

Well we arrived, my husband found a really great job, we spend a couple of months sorting out all the usual things which took my mind off home, but deep down I was feeling awful. The buzz of the move had gone and here I was in a lovely house with the sun shining every day feeling so down. I appreciate that everyone is different and not everyone will feel like I do but I do wish I could turn back the clocks and go back to my old life. I have a lovely home here and we have a good income but it is not everything. the pull of my old life and family is just too much.

 

The things I have found most difficult are, a horrible feeling of being alone and not being able to call family because of the time difference, not being able to work because of childcare waiting lists etc, having a young family and no support network - this is so hard, the expense of living here - the only thing which is cheaper is petrol , food bills have doubled here and the variety and quality of food is poor compared to the UK. Whilst it is lovely being in the sun, throughout the summer it is too hot for young children and we spend most of the time indoors as we cant stand the 40 degree heat.

 

I have not posted on here to moan about Australia as I moved here because I was so fond of it but to me it is just a holiday place, real life here is so different. I hope anyone planning on making the move with a young family are 100% sure before they do it. As other people have mentioned make sure you have enough finances before coming here as the cost of everything will be a massive shock. The cost of living is not cheaper than the UK and generally wages are lower. If you are coming with a young family think of how you would cope without the support network you may have in the UK.

 

I am glad I came only because I would have always thought I had lost out on a fantastic opportunity to have a great life, but at least now I know the grass is no greener over here and the UK is the place where I want to be.

 

I wish everyone luck who is making the move but just make sure you have no doubts before you do it.

 

Hi Sophie

 

It really is hard with young children. We have been out here 5 years now and had 2 children here, it has become so much harder now that we have the kids, I hate the thought that our families do not get to enjoy our gorgeous boys. I too dont hate Australia but I am really homesick (peoplesick) and just dont want to do it alone anymore. We will moving back sometime this year hopefully before June. My parents are here visiting now and its great seeing them interact with my two little ones and I cannot wait for more of it when we go home.

 

I hope you come to the right decision and it all works out for you and your family:hug:

[starlight7]

I was thinking- is there a playgroup or something nearby where you can meet and talk with other mums? Or do you belong to a church? Any hobbies or interests- do you have a community centre nearby offering classes and childcare? Those are the sort of things I joined when I emigrated many years ago. Chatting with others and making new friends helped a lot. If your kids are kinder age you could volunteer for the committee or look at www. govolunteer.com.au and see if there is anything interesting where you would meet people.

 

Good luck to you and your family - hope things improve soon.

[theonetruechris]

I know its been said a thousand times but skype really is a godsend for keeping in touch with family and friends. As one who believes all phone can be finished in less than a minute its surprised me that I've spent hours just nattering to family members.

I've had a rough time of it due to not being able to find a job and looking after my son full time, I was taking it personally when he was playing up (just adjusting to massive upheaval in his life) this caused resentment when my wife went out to work which was escaping the situation in my eyes. Getting him into a nursery for 2 days a week has helped loads, he's making friends and doing kinder, I'm getting some space and making headway on the job front.

We sold our house (lost 30K on it) as we said if we kept it or had open ended return tickets it would be too easy to give up and return which I would have done in the first month.

I'm warming to oz bit by bit, I wouldn't say I'm getting used to it or becoming desensitized as I don't believe in second best and regrets. Its different - better in some ways worse in others there’s a balance its probably the same everywhere.

I think people need to find their 'place' in oz I know mine involves providing for my family and can't settle fully until I am.

All the best to those who need to return to Albion and I hope things works out - hopefully I can find a place here.

[Guest gary12]

It can be so hard when you are feeling like this. I had many days where I thought I was going mad/depressed. The kids have just had the summer holidays so it will be easier when they go back, remember how they used to drive you nuts in England. I'm with theonetruechris, Skype really is a god send, I still speak to my friends most days and it is fantastic. The other thing I would say is not to say you have to be here 2 years, you need to set shorter goals that don't seem like an eternity away. Our first was August last year (we arrived in Jan) that way we could go back and my son would start the academic year in September. Christmas was very different but we set up the laptop and family watched the kids open their presents, yes I know it's not the same but it was the next best thing. Boxing day we invited some friends round and had 20 people here for a BBQ and had a ball.

 

My advice is to plan something to do every weekend, and if possible take up a new hobby, one you have always wanted to do, for me it was horseriding. One thing you can do here is plan ahead, a couple of hours drive for an afternoon out is nothing for us yet in the UK we wouldn't drive that far unless we had an overnight! Go into the local tourist information and get all the books you can on what there is to do and take advantage of being in a rental property with little upkeep demands.

 

best of luck, Michelle

[Guest sormesher]

thanks sophie for the message, i am pleased that i am not the only one, although pleased isnt the correct phrase. my oh and i had an argument about it yesterday and today he has asked me what it is i actually miss. so i told him and he said i was being really stupid. well i think we will have to give it some more time. we have family coming in september october and i plan on going back to the uk for a holiday in july 11 so we will see how that goes. i just wish my oh would be more supportive. next time he asks me how i feel and why i am not going to bother tell him, whats the point!

oh happy days!!!

[Guest]

the six month thing must be common, i was okay til now, what i first thought was homesickness and adjusting to life in a new country I now actually think i am a bit depressed which is just not like me. Sun shining, pool in garden, lovely country but it means nothing when you aint got your true pals to share it with.

 

I really thought I would be okay here, have always felt on top of things, thought 'oh yeah I will make friends etc' but its harder than I ever thought it would be. Everyone will be reading and thinking 'she hasn't given it long enough' but I think I knew deep down after the first week Aus wasn't for me.

 

Life's too short to feel miserable, one of my kids (youngest) is very unsettled and missing is pals, the older is half in half ..hubby says he will go back if I want to that much so I am counting myself lucky that I have someone so supportive - so what if we go back and are skint, we've been lucky to come and try it but its just not for us.

 

One more thing - reading the negative posts on this site has made me realise I wasnt the only one feeling like this and wasnt a complete nutter for not loving being here in Aus and 'living the dream' - its kept me sane so I think the negative posts are just as important as the positive ones! I think its time to start planning the move back, you know in your heart of hearts whats right and for me its not Aus its the UK

[millars]

I sympathise sooo much with everyone here & hope it all works out for you.

 

I cried nearly every day for 6 months! But I stuck it out & really did feel better once we bought our own house & got a parttime job (I know not everyone can do that)

 

Another thing I find hard is that my life now just revolves around our family (me, hubby & 3 kids) Its great to have quality time together but all our friends are OUR friends, I don't have any friends or family to call just my own. Don't know if that sounds odd or selfish & I do get out for girlie nights but I'm in the house a lot & it can be quite suffocating.

 

Good luck everyone xx

[Petals]

I sympathise with all who are feeling unsettled its so different here.

 

I would advise anyone who is coming to the sun to really think about how much sun they want and then make a decision on where to head for. I like the sun but not day after day of heat that is why we live in Melbourne. Tasmania would be another place I would live for that reason. I cannot abide humidity and was reading a post somewhere by a lady who was living in Townsville and complaining she cannot get her washing dry because of the humidity, I just think gosh I could not stand that.

 

Support from Grandparents is good. I must add though that my mother in law would not look after my oh sister's children all the time just now and again so its not something that could be relied on in our family. My mum was the same she would look after my children sometimes but found that it wore a bit thin and I think it would with me after all we have already brought up our children and its nice to see them but hand them back.

[Guest MSTO]

the six month thing must be common, i was okay til now, what i first thought was homesickness and adjusting to life in a new country I now actually think i am a bit depressed which is just not like me. Sun shining, pool in garden, lovely country but it means nothing when you aint got your true pals to share it with.

 

I really thought I would be okay here, have always felt on top of things, thought 'oh yeah I will make friends etc' but its harder than I ever thought it would be. Everyone will be reading and thinking 'she hasn't given it long enough' but I think I knew deep down after the first week Aus wasn't for me.

 

Life's too short to feel miserable, one of my kids (youngest) is very unsettled and missing is pals, the older is half in half ..hubby says he will go back if I want to that much so I am counting myself lucky that I have someone so supportive - so what if we go back and are skint, we've been lucky to come and try it but its just not for us.

 

One more thing - reading the negative posts on this site has made me realise I wasnt the only one feeling like this and wasnt a complete nutter for not loving being here in Aus and 'living the dream' - its kept me sane so I think the negative posts are just as important as the positive ones! I think its time to start planning the move back, you know in your heart of hearts whats right and for me its not Aus its the UK

 

How true I remember sitting here last year feeling so awful and then discovering PIO and really discovering how many people were unhappy....I too thought it was just me. Funnily enough though I was too surprised the amount of people who said to us that they do understand and wish they could do it...althought we have had some very negative comments too, its a very brave decision to make, personally for me so much harder than the one to come here. I am so glad we have made it though and now just waiting for the right time to get back....good luck in the future for you, I too have a great supportive husband very lucky:biggrin:

[Guest guest37336]

Hi Sophie.

 

An extremely well put post. At the very least you gave it your best shot. Congratulations for that. I can understand that you 'want to turn the clock back', but in reality this is impossible to do. All we can do is live in the present. The 'present' for you is realising that you are unhappy in Australia, and want to return to the UK. Whichever path your life takes I am sure you will look back at this time and say to yourself 'well at least I gave it a go'. I am sure you and your family will be happy in the not too distant future. Good luck to you.

[ezzie]

I read the comments and know just how you all feel, except we've been here 24 yrs! A bit different for us as we just backpacked here and never went home - Maggie, recession, then hubby got cancer, got married, had kids and just got swept up in the day to day busy lifestyle of having a family.

 

I used to love coming back to Sydney from our trips back home, but whilst here we were always frantically trying to make friends. Just couldn't get the deep friendships we have with other Brits anyhow. Fed-up of it always being us doing the running. We find with Brits you can open up without being judged. The humour is brilliant. We are lucky to have some very lovely Australian friends though. Our neighbourhood is fabulous...street drinks each week, parties etc. Everyone knows each other and we do appreciate that not everyone enjoys this. Having said that, we could still drop dead and none of them would drop by to check on us!

 

What I'm trying to say is, think ahead. Life here is VERY easy on the whole. Nothing stretches you once you have a reasonable job. But I suddenly realised that in a few years, my kids will have left home and have their own lives...what on earth was I going to do here then? It's fine if you just want to swim, fish or sit on the patio, but I love history, quirky festivals, bell ringing - I love a local community. This is just not available in this country. At the weekends...other than going to yet another bbq, a movie or the beach, that's it really although the arts/music in January in Sydney is fabulous. Back in the UK, there's so many things we could get involved in. But we left it too late and our Aussie children would rather rip their nails out than go to England. Our son is in his last year of school and set for university.

 

Even if we went home, he'd have to pay international university fees...unnafordable!

 

It's easy to be negative about the UK, yes a lot of what we see there we don't like. We do think this is a great country to raise kids, they stay 'younger' longer compared to UK youth.

 

I know if we went back to the UK we'd miss so much about life in Oz. That's the plague of the expat I guess.

 

So please be careful. If you REALLY miss home - don't just think about missing family, but also whether there's more that you miss. If the thought of green fields, blackbirds singing and having a bit of a chat down the shops or a laugh with the girls leaves you in tears....then don't leave it too late to go back. I speak to so many older British women here in Sydney who're widowed, grown kids rarely visit and they spend every day of their lives with the regret of having not returned to the UK when they could.

[Guest sk1nny]

Sophie

I feel for you, it's the hardest part leaving friends, family, work, home...all of it...I think it's the familiarity I miss most.

Friends you've shared history with, know you inside out, family accepting you.. flaws n all..that's the part I miss.

 

I can't hope to know exactly how you feel tho.

 

I would highly recommend going back to UK for a break, a holiday, soon....it is not cheap BUT I found it did help me get past those doubts. It stopped me being a ping pong pom, it didn't stop me feeling lonely at times, but it did put into perspective how our lives would be with 3 kids in UK, our likely standard of living & it helps that the weather is kinder to us in OZ.

[Poca&Dan]

Hi

 

I am new to this but thought I would like to post after spending my first 6 months here just to give people who are thinking of coming here an idea of what it is like.

 

I spent two years planning this move, I had been over to Australia a couple of times previously and I loved it and so decided to make plans to move here. The application was long winded and I honestly think personally I just went through the motions of applying without really thinking about how the move would affect me. The main concern for us was selling the house in the middle of a recession and my husband leaving a good job in the UK and finding work here. When I look back I didnt think about me or what I would do when I got here. We were lucky and sold the house but it was at this time I started to have major doubts but we had gone so far I blanked it out and concentrated on the move thinking it would be a better life for our children. Renting the house would have been a far better option as at least we would have something to return to.

 

Well we arrived, my husband found a really great job, we spend a couple of months sorting out all the usual things which took my mind off home, but deep down I was feeling awful. The buzz of the move had gone and here I was in a lovely house with the sun shining every day feeling so down. I appreciate that everyone is different and not everyone will feel like I do but I do wish I could turn back the clocks and go back to my old life. I have a lovely home here and we have a good income but it is not everything. the pull of my old life and family is just too much.

 

The things I have found most difficult are, a horrible feeling of being alone and not being able to call family because of the time difference, not being able to work because of childcare waiting lists etc, having a young family and no support network - this is so hard, the expense of living here - the only thing which is cheaper is petrol , food bills have doubled here and the variety and quality of food is poor compared to the UK. Whilst it is lovely being in the sun, throughout the summer it is too hot for young children and we spend most of the time indoors as we cant stand the 40 degree heat.

 

I have not posted on here to moan about Australia as I moved here because I was so fond of it but to me it is just a holiday place, real life here is so different. I hope anyone planning on making the move with a young family are 100% sure before they do it. As other people have mentioned make sure you have enough finances before coming here as the cost of everything will be a massive shock. The cost of living is not cheaper than the UK and generally wages are lower. If you are coming with a young family think of how you would cope without the support network you may have in the UK.

 

I am glad I came only because I would have always thought I had lost out on a fantastic opportunity to have a great life, but at least now I know the grass is no greener over here and the UK is the place where I want to be.

 

I wish everyone luck who is making the move but just make sure you have no doubts before you do it.

Hiya,

 

Sorry to hear the situation! We haven been here 3 weeks now and feels like we have been here for a life time already! Before we came it was such an exciting time and I told myself we were coming out here for good, but like you reality has set in! We have been soooooo lucky, we found somewhere to livein the 2nd week of being here, bf got offered 3 jobs, I started work, we have money, in fact we are better off than we were back home - even though everything is so expensive and like you said, less choice! BUt there is still that pull back! And I can't help but think that my life wasn't so bad back home! Don;'t get me wrong I love it here but it's the thought of spending the rst of my days in a place so far from the people dearst to me!

 

Where are you living?

[Jackboots]

i have to say a year in nearly its getting slightly better , but i can identify with every post on this thread, everyday i feel like theres something missing , i know what it is family friends familiarity.. somedays i cry on the way to work on other days i love it here , it is for me truly an emotional rollercoater, when you recieve an e mail from friends what they have done or are doing etc , family missing them at birthdays and christmas , looking at my daughters 3 rd birthday pics and having no family on them , its a sureal experience , yes i miss lots of things from home , walking over bridleways , riding along country lanes , pub lunches , but theres a lot gained here (will it be enough?), time will tell but i have to say long term ????? not sure its a wonderfull country but i wonder if we left it too late to make the rest of the jigsaw go together( age) , saying that we are buying our own house here in sept and hopefully when my daughter starts school it will be a different slant.. all the best to all that comeing or going or are still on the fence like me !

[Quoll]

i have to say a year in nearly its getting slightly better , but i can identify with every post on this thread, everyday i feel like theres something missing , i know what it is family friends familiarity.. somedays i cry on the way to work on other days i love it here , it is for me truly an emotional rollercoater, when you recieve an e mail from friends what they have done or are doing etc , family missing them at birthdays and christmas , looking at my daughters 3 rd birthday pics and having no family on them , its a sureal experience , yes i miss lots of things from home , walking over bridleways , riding along country lanes , pub lunches , but theres a lot gained here (will it be enough?), time will tell but i have to say long term ????? not sure its a wonderfull country but i wonder if we left it too late to make the rest of the jigsaw go together( age) , saying that we are buying our own house here in sept and hopefully when my daughter starts school it will be a different slant.. all the best to all that comeing or going or are still on the fence like me !

 

Are you sure you will be wanting to buy your own place if you arent sure that you are going to make a go of it here? It might be better to hang off doing that for a while until you are sure it is where you want to be and you dont want to feel trapped with a mill stone around your neck especially given the range of predictions about the state of the Aus real estate market. Just a thought, hope that you can get settled one way or the other.

 

Funny you should mention crying on the way to work - I have a couple of friends who say that driving to work and back is their cry cue as well - for me it is the shower (and to hell with the timed shower restrictions!!!)

[Jackboots]

quoll , i know exactly what you mean , but perth is getting so expensive for property if we don't get on the ladder we feel we may never, the prices are going up and up, but if we do decide to move back or to another place we will just have to sell , i really dread selling the house in the uk as its our safety blanket , really not sure if thats half my problem.. i know some days i just feel nil and go through the motions, and others its the best thing ever... mad i know! saying that i remember you saying a long time ago on here if you do return wise to choose another part as you cannot go back to the same! ( at least i think it was you ) yep driving is my therapy lol , but have had a few long showers too hugs x