How Long before you realised that Australia was or was not the place that you wanted to spend the rest of your days ?

[HappyHeart]

On 04/11/2020 at 17:51, Bulya said:

Took quite a few years but I got there.  Those who think they’ll feel ‘settled’ in 3 months or a year or two always make me laugh...

I did. Can't recall exactly how long but not more than a year...had very few expectations but high hopes. 

Had never been before and did about 6 months intensive research before we came. 

Been here coming up 12 years. 

I think everyone's journey and experience is unique with too many variables to compare. If you hate it on sight or have reservations prior then its typically a bad sign....

[tea4too]

5 hours ago, Bulya said:

Nonsensical.  I moved between four states/territories before finding the right place.  Are you suggesting most poms are incapable of moving once?  

The fact that some immigrants have the means and determination to keep moving until they find a location to suit them is fine, but it's not obligatory nor is it necessarily the gold standard for how to go about things.  Many issues can affect people's lives - finance, opportunity, personal relationships and mental health to name but a few and if life is a continuous struggle, the answer may not be to take a leap of faith and hope things will be better elsewhere. Fat and fire is possibly a huge factor in such circumstances, with a safe return to a familiar environment the better, or even the only, practical option for some.

Maybe it's inevitable on a forum such as this that we read posts in the context of our own experience, but challenging others to be more like ourselves makes no sense. If it did, you would all follow my lead and save on the expense of migration by finding a lovely corner of the UK to call home and be happy! T x

[HappyHeart]

On 25/10/2020 at 13:02, ali said:

Whilst we enjoy sport we're not beach goers (if I could afford it i'd live by the river) .. I certainly wasn't unhappy in the UK, but like you, it's just a feeling I get being here that makes me feel at home.

I can remember having conversations along the lines of 'out of 10 how content are you with our lives' with my husband. I always remember I was an 8 in England and he was a 6 or 7. Here I'm about 9 and he's the same. 

I enjoyed my life in the UK, we were happy there but I know our quality of life and the opportunities open to us are greater here. 

[HappyHeart]

On 28/10/2020 at 15:44, Drumbeat said:

Well I live in the Perth Hills so I can't agree that there aren't any 

My son climbed mountains on his last school.trip

[MARYROSE02]

On 04/11/2020 at 15:35, Quoll said:

Milk in coffee tastes disgusting though.  If I really really cant find cream then I get black but coffee here is so damned strong it needs to be like quarter strength or something 

I noticed that about black coffee from a cafe (made by barista) - horrible whereas i can drink black instant coffee no problem, though at home I go for herbal teas.

My brother has cream rather than milk with his zero sugar diet including zero carbs, or as close to zero as he can go. Fair go, he has lost heaps of weight.

[ali]

20 hours ago, HappyHeart said:

My son climbed mountains on his last school.trip

We were driving back from the Swan Valley at weekend and talking about the hills .. at work, we know if we're heading for them we're going in the right direction to get back to base lol

[Snoozy]

I realised it the moment I stepped off of the plane in Perth, that I had made a big mistake. I hoped that one day I would return, if only for a holiday. Circumstances have prevented me from ever going home. Forty two years I have endured living here. To many it's paradise, for me it's a hell hole.

[newjez]

On 10/11/2020 at 14:53, MARYROSE02 said:

I noticed that about black coffee from a cafe (made by barista) - horrible whereas i can drink black instant coffee no problem, though at home I go for herbal teas.

My brother has cream rather than milk with his zero sugar diet including zero carbs, or as close to zero as he can go. Fair go, he has lost heaps of weight.

I used to love the cream IKEA used in there coffee. It was worth going just for the cream.

Then they changed it for some horrible uht stuff and I've never had coffee there since.

[newjez]

1 hour ago, Snoozy said:

I realised it the moment I stepped off of the plane in Perth, that I had made a big mistake. I hoped that one day I would return, if only for a holiday. Circumstances have prevented me from ever going home. Forty two years I have endured living here. To many it's paradise, for me it's a hell hole.

That's so sad. I've had a love hate relationship with Perth. But at the time I didn't like it I left. I take it the rest of your family love it?

[tea4too]

2 hours ago, Snoozy said:

I realised it the moment I stepped off of the plane in Perth, that I had made a big mistake. I hoped that one day I would return, if only for a holiday. Circumstances have prevented me from ever going home. Forty two years I have endured living here. To many it's paradise, for me it's a hell hole.

Oh Snoozy, that is a long time to struggle. I see from your earlier posts that 'home' is South Wales, and I wondered if you knew about the Welsh Society of WA that is based in Perth? If you can't go to Wales maybe a little bit of Wales can come to you. Take care, and though it's only a virtual one just wanted to send a big cwtch. T x 

https://wawelshsociety.org.au/page.php/aboutus

 

[Marisawright]

On 10/11/2020 at 19:02, Bulya said:

Nonsensical.  I moved between four states/territories before finding the right place.  Are you suggesting most poms are incapable of moving once?  

Great idea and easy to do if you're single or a young couple.   If you're a family, it's a different story.  It's expensive for a start - Shipping costs for a houseful of stuff, income lost while you both look for work every time you move, and then there's the disruption to the kids' schooling. 

If it was a case of moving once and then they'd be happy, they'd do it. The trouble is, they can't be sure they'll like the other state any better - and then they'll have less money available to go home.  So they don't take the risk.  I think that's understandable.

[Bulya]

5 minutes ago, Marisawright said:

Great idea and easy to do if you're single or a young couple.   If you're a family, it's a different story.  It's expensive for a start - Shipping costs for a houseful of stuff, income lost while you both look for work every time you move, and then there's the disruption to the kids' schooling. 

If it was a case of moving once and then they'd be happy, they'd do it. The trouble is, they can't be sure they'll like the other state any better - and then they'll have less money available to go home.  So they don't take the risk.  I think that's understandable.

They’re clueless when they select a place to migrate to (pin the tail on the donkey basically).  Once here they can far more easily learn about Australia, and then move to a better matching state/territory.  Those that we know from here that have moved have done well.  It’s isn’t rocket science...

Edited November 11, 2020 by Bulya
Grammar

[Toots]

20 minutes ago, Bulya said:

They’re clueless when they select a place to migrate to (pin the tail on the donkey basically).  Once here they can far more easily learn about Australia, and then move to a better matching state/territory.  Those that we know from here that have moved have done well.  It’s isn’t rocket science...

Yes Bulya but some people will never look upon Australia as home no matter which part of Australia they move to.  It's as simple as that.  Plenty of people who migrate to New Zealand and Canada feel the same.    

[ali]

On 10/11/2020 at 16:22, calNgary said:

I am not sure i could handle trying 4 different states before i spat my dummy with the country but our golden rule before we moved was if we didn't like Brisbane we would try elsewhere (possibly WA)before returning to the UK. I guess ,to an extent, it depends on the reasons why you dont like where you are though.

 Cal x

Funnily enough, we arrived in WA having never been, hubby said before we came "if we don't like it Australia is a big place we'll move somewhere else" (It probably would have been Brisbane).

[ali]

6 hours ago, Snoozy said:

I realised it the moment I stepped off of the plane in Perth, that I had made a big mistake. I hoped that one day I would return, if only for a holiday. Circumstances have prevented me from ever going home. Forty two years I have endured living here. To many it's paradise, for me it's a hell hole.

Had you been before and were dreading the move or just wasn't really up for migrating?  I'm sorry to hear that you've been unhappy for so long, sounds as if Perth has just really reinforced those initial misgivings you had.

[Toots]

2 minutes ago, ali said:

Funnily enough, we arrived in WA having never been, hubby said before we came "if we don't like it Australia is a big place we'll move somewhere else" (It probably would have been Brisbane).

We arrived in Sydney to start off with.  Both found jobs within a couple of days.  Worked there for nearly two years and had a great time.  We both fancied a change so husband drove over to Perth  ..............  I went on the Indian Pacific train.  Settled down happily there.  Built a house   .................  had two babies and could have stayed but there was a big recession in the building industry so we sold the house and drove (towing a caravan) back to Sydney.  Took our time and did quite a bit of exploring.  I wasn't looking forward to the trip with a couple of toddlers but it was a fantastic experience.  Arrived back in Sydney and rented for about a year then bought a house and settled there until we retired.  I was never homesick or hankered for the UK.  Went every second year to see Mum and catch up with old friends but since Mum died I haven't been too interested in going back.  The last time I was in the UK was 5 years ago.

[Bulya]

3 hours ago, Toots said:

Yes Bulya but some people will never look upon Australia as home no matter which part of Australia they move to.  It's as simple as that.  Plenty of people who migrate to New Zealand and Canada feel the same.    

Then why move? They really should stay in Blighty...

[MARYROSE02]

On 07/11/2020 at 09:18, MaroubraAndy said:

It’s so funny for me to read everyone’s stories as they remind me of my own story so much.

Everything from being the UK immigrant that’s been living in and loving Sydney for years, then being almost offended when visitors from the UK don’t immediately want move too.. 

Through to moving back to the UK after 10 years and feeling like a square peg in a round hole..

(( I’m trying hard not to be the ping pong pom and am determined to try and make my next move back to Sydney my last. This time I’m going to settle and that will be that. He says  

I lived in Sydney for nearly 18 years, from December, 1978 to September, 1996, then I went back to England for a "holiday" and stayed 12 years, arriving back in Sydney in December, 2008. I would have been celebrating 12 years in Sydney if I had not come up to Surfers Paradise 4 months ago to stay with my brother.

I used to go back to England regularly to see my parents (and they did the same out to OZ) but my 12 year stint was just a result of circumstances - losing my job at Garden Island Dockyard after 12 years and my parents being still in the England.  I got a part time, temporary job with Royal Mail in Southampton, which turned into a permanent one, then my Mum died and I decided to stay with my Dad.  I could have stayed in England after my Dad died but I had two brothers in OZ and no close family left in England.and

It is a subjective experience; some people are homesick and going home "cures" their "sickness." It must be marvellous to, figuratively or literally, walk down the stairs from the airplane and kiss the ground in relief! But for some they might find that the "taste" is not what they expected. You could be unhappy in Australia and project your feelings of unhappiness onto Australia then find when you leave Australia that you are still unhappy?

It's odd to read some of the criticisms of Australia and compare them to my own experiences. "Too quiet and conservative?" I came from a village in rural Hampshire where the "big smoke" was Southampton with its population of 200,000 to the "Gotham" of Sydney with its 4 million people (now five million I think). Perhaps for someone from London, Sydney is "too quiet and conservative?" I sometimes think that I should have gone to London to practice for life in Sydney.

I can go to a country town in Australia and enjoy walking around admiring the colonial buildings and the wide verandahs. I loved being able to stay in a pub with my bedroom opening out onto the verandah - Cobb & Co hotel in St George and, maybe, the Queen or Victoria in Goondiwindi, but for other people, homesick for pre 18th century history, "Nothing to see here, all the same, too new, no history."

As I said, it's subjective.(And as I've already said about Surfers Paradise "I am older than most of the buildings here").

[Snoozy]

9 hours ago, tea4too said:

Oh Snoozy, that is a long time to struggle. I see from your earlier posts that 'home' is South Wales, and I wondered if you knew about the Welsh Society of WA that is based in Perth? If you can't go to Wales maybe a little bit of Wales can come to you. Take care, and though it's only a virtual one just wanted to send a big cwtch. T x 

https://wawelshsociety.org.au/page.php/aboutus

 

Thank you tea4too. I have been to the Welsh Society. It's too far away from where I live now xx

[Snoozy]

Hi ali, No I've never been before. In 78, I knew nothing about Australia. I came with my son and ex husband who had been here before and loved it, and assured me I would too. I have tried so many things, joined groups etc. I just feel I have never fitted in here, and Aussies are not so friendly. Sorry, that's been my experience. I've never been able to afford to move back without some help. My family were not welcoming to the idea of me coming home to them again. 

[Snoozy]

6 hours ago, Bulya said:

They’re clueless when they select a place to migrate to (pin the tail on the donkey basically).  Once here they can far more easily learn about Australia, and then move to a better matching state/territory.  Those that we know from here that have moved have done well.  It’s isn’t rocket science...

Bulya, Not all of us have the money to move around. It was not a case of pin the tail on the donkey for me. 

[Snoozy]

10 hours ago, newjez said:

That's so sad. I've had a love hate relationship with Perth. But at the time I didn't like it I left. I take it the rest of your family love it?

newjez, I came with my son and ex husband. The rest of my family lived in Wales, but have since passed away, except for my sister. 

[Red Rose]

3 hours ago, Snoozy said:

Hi ali, No I've never been before. In 78, I knew nothing about Australia. I came with my son and ex husband who had been here before and loved it, and assured me I would too. I have tried so many things, joined groups etc. I just feel I have never fitted in here, and Aussies are not so friendly. Sorry, that's been my experience. I've never been able to afford to move back without some help. My family were not welcoming to the idea of me coming home to them again. 

Sounds like you have lived a lifetime in Perth. Has it changed for the better since you arrived in 78? Are there parts of Perth / WA you do still like?

[Home and Happy]

On 09/11/2020 at 23:27, Bulya said:

So why didn’t you move somewhere that isn’t quiet and doesn’t have ‘burning dry heat’?  These posts just never make sense...

Well let me help explain it generally.  It’s called an exit strategy we had ours and we stuck to it. We also had an exit strategy from UK when we first migrated to Perth too.  Emotions don’t play any part in it.  We may not have liked it in Perth suburbia, work wise it was fine, no issues, but when you invest in anything like a home or anything else like shares, gold, oil, currency, etc, most people will plan and choose when to sell and when to buy.  So you watch and wait...and wait and watch etc, then make your decisions. 

[Home and Happy]

4 hours ago, Snoozy said:

Bulya, Not all of us have the money to move around. It was not a case of pin the tail on the donkey for me. 

Moving costs money. Ask any Ping Pong Pom how much life savings they have left as a result of poor planning and emotion led knee jerk random moves to places they’ve never lived in before.