I'm so stressed... to go back, right or wrong decision?

[bristolman]

 

I think the rose tinted specs are on when some people are describing Scotland now!

 

Forgot about the Government being led by Jimmy Krankie!

 

But you don't say that when people wax lyrical about Australia making massive generalisations.

 

I agree with you last statement though.

[AJ]

But you don't say that when people wax lyrical about Australia making massive generalisations.

 

I agree with you last statement though.

Neither place is perfect but as I have over 40 years experience living in Scotland and only 7 in Australia, I feel more qualified to comment on posts about Scotland!

[bristolman]

As I do on both Australia and the UK.

[BacktoDemocracy]

Look, what I want to know is how I get the contract to supply the reflective rose tinted glasses to PomsinOz, I'd make enough to retire the wife.

[JockinTas]

I live in Tasmania and it is very different to the mainland. For example whilst Sydney today will be basking in 26C and sun - we are lucky if it will reach 16C and it's drizzling. The weather doesn't bother me at all but for some people it would be awful - perhaps reminding them of the UK on bad days. :cute: You simply can't compare different place in Australia with each other. Huge differences. I'm never bored here but again it would be far too quiet for many folk - I'm not a city person so I don't envy their lifestyle either. The further away I am from crowds the happier I am.

[ali]

I live in Tasmania and it is very different to the mainland. For example whilst Sydney today will be basking in 26C and sun - we are lucky if it will reach 16C and it's drizzling. The weather doesn't bother me at all but for some people it would be awful - perhaps reminding them of the UK on bad days. :cute: You simply can't compare different place in Australia with each other. Huge differences. I'm never bored here but again it would be far too quiet for many folk - I'm not a city person so I don't envy their lifestyle either. The further away I am from crowds the happier I am.

 

Totally agree that it's each to their own ... I'm looking forward to seeing what Tassie has to offer when I visit in January.

[VERYSTORMY]

You forget to mention only about half an hour away is the lovely area of Onthank which starred in a few episodes of the Scheme! Maybe you havent come across any of the local Jakeys or Neds yet! Lovely scenery up Glen Coe, but you really wouldnt find much work there.

 

I think the rose tinted specs are on when some people are describing Scotland now!

 

Forgot about the Parliament being led by Jimmy Krankie!

 

Every country has some rough areas. Australia and indeed WA and Perth are no different. There are some damned rough areas of Perth - and that is from someone who lived in one of the roughest council estates in the north of England (St Hilda's, known as "Over the Border"). There are parts of WA that I wouldn't even stop in if I blew a tyre. I would drive on and scrap the rim.

 

Yes, it would be hard for most people would find it hard to get work in Glen Coe, but, having it only two hours from the city is amazing. Interestingly though, that is the area where I actually do work. Most of my work is in the area north of Lomand, across the Cairngorms and around Fort William. Though helping our Yorkshire office this week in Whitby.

[bristolman]

Every country has some rough areas. Australia and indeed WA and Perth are no different. There are some damned rough areas of Perth - and that is from someone who lived in one of the roughest council estates in the north of England (St Hilda's, known as "Over the Border"). There are parts of WA that I wouldn't even stop in if I blew a tyre. I would drive on and scrap the rim.

 

Yes, it would be hard for most people would find it hard to get work in Glen Coe, but, having it only two hours from the city is amazing. Interestingly though, that is the area where I actually do work. Most of my work is in the area north of Lomand, across the Cairngorms and around Fort William. Though helping our Yorkshire office this week in Whitby.

 

We lived in a really nice area in Brisbane but only 10 minutes drive away was Logan Central which was horrible, Woodridge was easily as bad as anywhere I have seen here. There were many bad areas in the Brisbane region.

[Guest]

We lived in a really nice area in Brisbane but only 10 minutes drive away was Logan Central which was horrible, Woodridge was easily as bad as anywhere I have seen here. There were many bad areas in the Brisbane region.

 

That's why the Northside is better i'd probably have to drive 25k's north to get anywhere remotely rough.

 

Tends to be more isolated in Australia than Britain in my opinion

[bristolman]

...My compass is broken lol

Edited October 23, 2016 by bristolman

[bristolman]

We had friends who lived in the darkside but it never appealed to us, too much traffic, too many people and too many houses squeezed in. Plenty of rough areas over that side as well. Further up around Caboolture is awful. Each to their own but it had nothing that appealed to us. I don't see that rough areas are more isolated in Australia, there are plenty of them just as there are here.

[Guest]

We had friends who lived in the darkside but it never appealed to us, too much traffic, too many people and too many houses squeezed in. Plenty of rough areas over that side as well. Further up around Caboolture is awful. Each to their own but it had nothing that appealed to us. I don't see that rough areas are more isolated in Australia, there are plenty of them just as there are here.

 

Agreed and Deception bay. But as they are way out of town you would have to purposely drive to them. Close to town all the suburbs are nice, while in britain it is often the other way round.

[bristolman]

Agreed and Deception bay. But as they are way out of town you would have to purposely drive to them. Close to town all the suburbs are nice, while in britain it is often the other way round.

 

All the suburbs are nice, no rose tinted specs at all then lol. Just like here there are lots of bad areas and lots of good areas.

[Imapla]

We've been talking about moving back to the UK for a few years now and have decided to do it next year. It's the same old expat story, I'm very homesick, have no feeling of belonging here and sick of the xenophobic shite coming out of Australian politicians' mouths.

I desperately miss being with my family in the UK even though we usually end up arguing when we're together! As each year passes I struggle with the fact I'm so far from my Dad and siblings, my Dad's 79, my brother and sister and me are in our 50's. It's hard seeing them having aged a bit more each time I go back for a visit. Not to mention my kids are missing out on spending time with their cousins, who are now in their early 20's. There are many other reasons why I want to go back but of course family is the primary reason.

I have been fortunate that my old firm have been keeping a job open for me in the hope I would return but they said recently, they can't hold it open much longer. I've only got until June next year to come over, otherwise the door shuts. It's a good job, doing what I do now, in a sought after specialized field and the pay's not bad, close to 40,000 pounds with overtime. This is my last chance to get back home knowing I've got a job when I get there, which is important as my wife needs a Spouse Visa. I feel we have to go, I can't miss this opportunity. Plus, the recent bounce in the Aussie dollar against the pound thanks to the Brexit vote has made it possible to get quite a bit more for our money than compared to last year. Who knows how long it will last, so I feel this is the time to take advantage. So, the house is on the market, we had an offer fairly quickly which we accepted though it wasn't quite as much as we had hoped. We're waiting for it to go unconditional, so it could still fall over. But once sold, the plan is to move into a rental for 6 months get rid of the stuff we don't need, then I go over to start work and find a place over there. A couple of months later the wife and kids come. Sounds straight forward enough...

 

The problem is I am seriously stressing out that it is going to be a massive mistake. In my heart it's the right decision to go but when I think about it too much I come up with so many reasons not to go I just don't know what to do:

 

Reason no.1 - We won't have as much money as we would have liked to buy a decent house remotely close to where I'll be working. I'm hoping we'll end up with up to 150,000 pounds as a deposit (if the exchange rate stays where it is).

 

2. Our 19 yo daughter loves it here but is willing to come back with us because she loves her Parents more and couldn't bear being away from us. I am so worried she'll absolutely hate it living there and will come to resent me for making her come back. Of course, she could always go back to Oz eventually but then my wife will resent me, I'm in a no win situation!

 

3. Our son is in year 10, but will be 16 when we return, so not sure if he would be able to go to 6th form college without us paying international fees (have to be resident in the UK for 3 years). I'm worried sick he won't be able to do any further education over there and end up in some dead end job for the rest of his life - because of me.

 

4. We have a good life here. We have (until its sold) a lovely large home lots of space in a good area. I have a well paid job and my wife has a job she loves and only needs to work 3 days a week. I have an easy drive to work against the rush hour traffic, zero stress when I'm there. Once in the UK it's likely my wife will be on a zero hours contract, working 5 days a week for crap money and I'll be stuck in a bedsit 5 days a week as the drive to work is too far because we can't live closer and my work in London will be stressville.

 

Is it enough to risk the happiness of my wife and kids and our quality of life for my selfish reasons of wanting to be back in the land of my birth because I'm homesick and want to spend the time remaining with my Dad and siblings?

 

I'm the first one to admit I am a worrier, and tend to think of the worst case scenario happening. I'd be grateful to hear your thoughts, especially from those who have gone home with teenage kids.

 

Thanks.

 

hi

Sorry I haven't read all the other posts (there are a lot!) but you will read and listen to everyone and take what you want deep down from them. I came back for the same reasons as you and before I left I knew it was a mistake but the day we landed in the UK it really hit me and I haven't settled since. It is not just the cold (for in kent the weather really hasn't been that bad) but it is the fact that you are stuck inside the house from October to June pretty much - yes you can go outside and do all the things you can do in Brisbane - cycling, walking, swimming, tennis etc but you can't just sit on your outdoor entertainment area and chill and while away the hours as we used to do a lot plus the windows pretty much have to be closed for those months.

I don't want to have any regrets in life but if I could go back I would have listened to my inner self - as it was I kept asking other people what they thought - the Aussie ones said stay - the UK ones said come home (of course) and so I did.

We're not getting any younger and I feel I have made a backward step - I am spending these one or two years (until we go back) planning to go back and so not making the most of being here.

 

So in short - if you live in a nice house, have good jobs and are generally happy (except for your yearning to go back) I would stay (maybe go back on an extended trip - 2 months (in winter) and fully check it out without committing to the full move.

 

 

It is also very expensive to make the move - shipping, rental properties, etc

 

Good luck with your decision

Oh yes and you know the poem - happy wife, happy life !!

[tea4too]

hi

Sorry I haven't read all the other posts (there are a lot!) but you will read and listen to everyone and take what you want deep down from them. I came back for the same reasons as you and before I left I knew it was a mistake but the day we landed in the UK it really hit me and I haven't settled since. It is not just the cold (for in kent the weather really hasn't been that bad) but it is the fact that you are stuck inside the house from October to June pretty much - yes you can go outside and do all the things you can do in Brisbane - cycling, walking, swimming, tennis etc but you can't just sit on your outdoor entertainment area and chill and while away the hours as we used to do a lot plus the windows pretty much have to be closed for those months.

 

[.......EDIT........]

 

Good luck with your decision

Oh yes and you know the poem - happy wife, happy life !!

 

I often read this about the UK and it surprises me tbh as I don’t hibernate in winter, I just do different things. Sitting outside in a force 9 gale or under black heavy rain clouds is no fun but winter is when we tend to do more indoor stuff like theatre trips, pub meals, family get togethers, reading and cwtching up on the sofa to watch the movies we didn’t have time for in the summer. Walking is different in winter and we pick our days, but I quite like the beach in winter. We also have a summer house in the garden that we use all year round and last Boxing day sat out there for hours nattering and enjoying the old glass of wine. Warm clothing was essential to be fair, but I didn’t enjoy the company, the banter or the atmosphere less because it was winter.

 

I know we are all different with different priorities, and maybe if Aus has got under your skin more than you realise you will struggle with a return to the UK, particularly in the winter months. But winter in the UK doesn’t automatically mean life has to go on hold, not really, not ime anyway. T x

[BacktoDemocracy]

We lived in a really nice area in Brisbane but only 10 minutes drive away was Logan Central which was horrible, Woodridge was easily as bad as anywhere I have seen here. There were many bad areas in the Brisbane region.

 

Complete b*ll*x, I have worked in some of the worst areas in the UK , Silwood and Pepys estates in SE London, the old Deptford, Bonamy estate, the old Elephant and Castle, old Bermondsey, I then worked in what was supposed to be one of the worst areas of deprivation in Brisbane, Inala and Carole Park and I can assure you those do not hold a candle to the places I worked in London.

[bristolman]

I often read this about the UK and it surprises me tbh as I don’t hibernate in winter, I just do different things. Sitting outside in a force 9 gale or under black heavy rain clouds is no fun but winter is when we tend to do more indoor stuff like theatre trips, pub meals, family get togethers, reading and cwtching up on the sofa to watch the movies we didn’t have time for in the summer. Walking is different in winter and we pick our days, but I quite like the beach in winter. We also have a summer house in the garden that we use all year round and last Boxing day sat out there for hours nattering and enjoying the old glass of wine. Warm clothing was essential to be fair, but I didn’t enjoy the company, the banter or the atmosphere less because it was winter.

 

I know we are all different with different priorities, and maybe if Aus has got under your skin more than you realise you will struggle with a return to the UK, particularly in the winter months. But winter in the UK doesn’t automatically mean life has to go on hold, not really, not ime anyway. T x

 

Yes absolutely, we certainly don't sit inside from October until June and can't think of anyone who does. If the endless heat is what appeals to you then don't live in the UK, it's not rocket science lol Personally the weather is a pretty low priority for us, many more important things in life. Dec, Jan and February are the 'worst' months but even then you don't need to just sit inside. Anyone would think we are in the Artic Circle to be honest lol

[bunbury61]

Yes absolutely, we certainly don't sit inside from October until June and can't think of anyone who does. If the endless heat is what appeals to you then don't live in the UK, it's not rocket science lol Personally the weather is a pretty low priority for us, many more important things in life. Dec, Jan and February are the 'worst' months but even then you don't need to just sit inside. Anyone would think we are in the Artic Circle to be honest lol

 

Hate the bloody winter ...wherever it is ...should be banned ....its the dark I cant stand ...I can take the snow as long as the sky is crystal clear ....walking the dog early morning ,pitch black ,but the snow lightens the scene ....the weather over the last 5 years has been extremely mild ,which is a bonus .

Mild and VERY STILL....not much bluster ...thoughts anyone ?

[JockinTas]

Hate the bloody winter ...wherever it is ...should be banned ....its the dark I cant stand ...I can take the snow as long as the sky is crystal clear ....walking the dog early morning ,pitch black ,but the snow lightens the scene ....the weather over the last 5 years has been extremely mild ,which is a bonus .

Mild and VERY STILL....not much bluster ...thoughts anyone ?

 

My thoughts are that you have sent your blustery weather here bunbury! We had gale force winds during the winter with lashing rain to accompany it. Calmed down a lot since spring started though.

[bunbury61]

My thoughts are that you have sent your blustery weather here bunbury! We had gale force winds during the winter with lashing rain to accompany it. Calmed down a lot since spring started though.

 

Seriously jock , today again is unbelievably still ...no wind blowing the autumn leaves off ....surreal

[VERYSTORMY]

I don't mind winter and it little changes what I do. I will be in the highlands next week near Nevis. They had -5 and snow at the weekend. I will still be off hiking.

 

We were on Scarborough sea front on Sunday and it was probably single figures and blustery and had a great day, the area was very busy, there were people paddling and more surfers and paddle borders than I have ever seen at a beach before.

 

Dark / early nights don't bother me either as a good excuse for other things.

[bunbury61]

I don't mind winter and it little changes what I do. I will be in the highlands next week near Nevis. They had -5 and snow at the weekend. I will still be off hiking.

 

We were on Scarborough sea front on Sunday and it was probably single figures and blustery and had a great day, the area was very busy, there were people paddling and more surfers and paddle borders than I have ever seen at a beach before.

 

Dark / early nights don't bother me either as a good excuse for other things.

 

How are you getting on vs ? ...an interesting 18 months for you

[newjez]

Yes absolutely, we certainly don't sit inside from October until June and can't think of anyone who does. If the endless heat is what appeals to you then don't live in the UK, it's not rocket science lol Personally the weather is a pretty low priority for us, many more important things in life. Dec, Jan and February are the 'worst' months but even then you don't need to just sit inside. Anyone would think we are in the Artic Circle to be honest lol

 

 

I think you have to be more proactive in the winter. You can't just sit around and let the day dawdle. We get up, if the weather's good we're out. If it's not, then I'm getting the inside chores done and the boys are doing their homework so we can take advantage when the weather turns good.

 

Lovely walking and riding weather at the moment. We have trails which aren't muddy which we use more in winter. It's better when it's a bit cooler as you don't get too sweaty.

[bristolman]

Hate the bloody winter ...wherever it is ...should be banned ....its the dark I cant stand ...I can take the snow as long as the sky is crystal clear ....walking the dog early morning ,pitch black ,but the snow lightens the scene ....the weather over the last 5 years has been extremely mild ,which is a bonus .

Mild and VERY STILL....not much bluster ...thoughts anyone ?

 

I'm not bothered by the winter really, the 'bad bit' only really lasts a couple of months. Today is going to be 15 degrees and it's nearly November. We are lucky in this country that our climate is temerate, no real extremes.

[bencrom81]

I'm not bothered by the winter really, the 'bad bit' only really lasts a couple of months. Today is going to be 15 degrees and it's nearly November. We are lucky in this country that our climate is temerate, no real extremes.

 

im the same. love winter. winter was my favourite month in Sydney (fresh, bright, quieter, could walk 200m without looking like id run 1km).. same here. love getting my coat and scarf on and finding solace in a cup of coffee, a cup of tea whilst the rain lashes at the window or a nice pint by a roaring fire..

give me those things any day over working in an office whilst its 40degrees in the city, riding a packed train home with sweat beading down me or lying on a beach frying myself when I never enjoyed that anyway.

depends whether youre a cold weather person or not I guess.