I'm so stressed... to go back, right or wrong decision?

[Rainman]

I didn't say low risk. I said low fees. Which is something you should consider now anyway.

 

I see what you mean, I misunderstood.

 

I notice you only had a year in the UK before returning to Oz. Did you keep a property in Australia while you were away?

[Marisawright]

I see what you mean, I misunderstood.

 

I notice you only had a year in the UK before returning to Oz. Did you keep a property in Australia while you were away?

 

No, we sold up - which I regret now, but there were problems with the property (severely leaking roof) and we didn't want the hassle if it recurred while we were away. Plus there was the possibility that if we liked living in England, we would've stayed and it seemed easier to have cash instead of having to sell up from a distance.

 

Now we're back and of course, the property market has steamed ahead while we've been away, which means we can't afford to buy anything close to what we had (which was only a little two-bed townhouse in the first place).

Edited October 4, 2016 by Marisawright

[flag of convenience]

No, we sold up - which I regret now, but there were problems with the property (severely leaking roof) and we didn't want the hassle if it recurred while we were away. Plus there was the possibility that if we liked living in England, we would've stayed and it seemed easier to have cash instead of having to sell up from a distance.

 

Now we're back and of course, the property market has steamed ahead while we've been away, which means we can't afford to buy anything close to what we had (which was only a little two-bed townhouse in the first place).

 

You could always move to Perth. A future retirees paradise if things keep declining in price. Still rather British in attitude, but happily for the most part changing into something else. Even if not sure what that something else may look like.

[Rainman]

No, we sold up - which I regret now

 

Story of my life. We had a nice little house in the UK, which we wouldn't be able to afford now. We had a lovely house in Auckland which is double the value of our house here now. We live in the Redlands, south of Brisbane and the market has been very disappointing in our particular spot. I would have liked to hang on to it just in case we came back but the market here is so slow. I've suggested to the wife we buy in the UK, which is performing much better in most areas. Even if we sold in the UK in 5 or 10 years, to return here or NZ, I'm hoping it would have performed better than if we kept our house here, giving us enough to maybe buy somewhere mortgage free.

Knowing my luck though, Brisbane's market will really take off now we're selling!!

[Marisawright]

You could always move to Perth. A future retirees paradise if things keep declining in price. Still rather British in attitude, but happily for the most part changing into something else.

 

Are you serious? I have visited Perth quite frequently, not recently I admit but I can't imagine living there. My niece, who's very like me in her preferences, tried living there a few years ago and hated it - so I would not contemplate it.

[BacktoDemocracy]

We've been talking about moving back to the UK for a few years now and have decided to do it next year. It's the same old expat story, I'm very homesick, have no feeling of belonging here and sick of the xenophobic shite coming out of Australian politicians' mouths.

I desperately miss being with my family in the UK even though we usually end up arguing when we're together! As each year passes I struggle with the fact I'm so far from my Dad and siblings, my Dad's 79, my brother and sister and me are in our 50's. It's hard seeing them having aged a bit more each time I go back for a visit. Not to mention my kids are missing out on spending time with their cousins, who are now in their early 20's. There are many other reasons why I want to go back but of course family is the primary reason.

I have been fortunate that my old firm have been keeping a job open for me in the hope I would return but they said recently, they can't hold it open much longer. I've only got until June next year to come over, otherwise the door shuts. It's a good job, doing what I do now, in a sought after specialized field and the pay's not bad, close to 40,000 pounds with overtime. This is my last chance to get back home knowing I've got a job when I get there, which is important as my wife needs a Spouse Visa. I feel we have to go, I can't miss this opportunity. Plus, the recent bounce in the Aussie dollar against the pound thanks to the Brexit vote has made it possible to get quite a bit more for our money than compared to last year. Who knows how long it will last, so I feel this is the time to take advantage. So, the house is on the market, we had an offer fairly quickly which we accepted though it wasn't quite as much as we had hoped. We're waiting for it to go unconditional, so it could still fall over. But once sold, the plan is to move into a rental for 6 months get rid of the stuff we don't need, then I go over to start work and find a place over there. A couple of months later the wife and kids come. Sounds straight forward enough...

 

The problem is I am seriously stressing out that it is going to be a massive mistake. In my heart it's the right decision to go but when I think about it too much I come up with so many reasons not to go I just don't know what to do:

 

Reason no.1 - We won't have as much money as we would have liked to buy a decent house remotely close to where I'll be working. I'm hoping we'll end up with up to 150,000 pounds as a deposit (if the exchange rate stays where it is).

 

2. Our 19 yo daughter loves it here but is willing to come back with us because she loves her Parents more and couldn't bear being away from us. I am so worried she'll absolutely hate it living there and will come to resent me for making her come back. Of course, she could always go back to Oz eventually but then my wife will resent me, I'm in a no win situation!

 

3. Our son is in year 10, but will be 16 when we return, so not sure if he would be able to go to 6th form college without us paying international fees (have to be resident in the UK for 3 years). I'm worried sick he won't be able to do any further education over there and end up in some dead end job for the rest of his life - because of me.

 

4. We have a good life here. We have (until its sold) a lovely large home lots of space in a good area. I have a well paid job and my wife has a job she loves and only needs to work 3 days a week. I have an easy drive to work against the rush hour traffic, zero stress when I'm there. Once in the UK it's likely my wife will be on a zero hours contract, working 5 days a week for crap money and I'll be stuck in a bedsit 5 days a week as the drive to work is too far because we can't live closer and my work in London will be stressville.

 

Is it enough to risk the happiness of my wife and kids and our quality of life for my selfish reasons of wanting to be back in the land of my birth because I'm homesick and want to spend the time remaining with my Dad and siblings?

 

I'm the first one to admit I am a worrier, and tend to think of the worst case scenario happening. I'd be grateful to hear your thoughts, especially from those who have gone home with teenage kids.

 

Thanks.

My only thought is if you have a good job in Australia at your age and a good lifestyle with an easy commute and a good house then I wouldn't risk it to come back to the UK, property prices are through the roof, commuting is a nightmare, job security is sh*te, and employers expectations are through the roof, jobs for young people are a nightmare with or without a degree and the north -soth divide is more pronounced than ever.

We came back because we were older when we emigrated and found trying to downsize jobs and house very difficult in Australia so came back after 9 years.

Also the UK is about to go thro a difficult period with this Brexit fiasco, it could be a real problem fr a number of industries and for a number of years.

And being very un-feeling, but it may need to be said, your father is in his late 70's, you go back and he may be dead within 2 or 3 years, sorry to say that but you may put your whole future at risk simply for that, why not just plan some major trips and say the cost of that is less than the cost of a move .

There are days here when me at 70 and my wife at 53 miss our lifestyle in Qld hugely but trade that off against her retraining to be a psychotherapist and my pensions not being exposed to currency movents.

Sorry to be so blunt but these are things which we have learnt from being back 2.5 years and my wife working for the last 2 years in senior management position.

Edited October 4, 2016 by BacktoDemocracy

[Rainman]

And being very un-feeling, but it may need to be said, your father is in his late 70's, you go back and he may be dead within 2 or 3 years,

 

 

I appreciate your input but do you not think I have already considered that?

[flag of convenience]

Are you serious? I have visited Perth quite frequently, not recently I admit but I can't imagine living there. My niece, who's very like me in her preferences, tried living there a few years ago and hated it - so I would not contemplate it.

 

There's a lot to be said for early nights and a good book. I wonder where your niece lived? Must admit most of Perth metro I wouldn't poke a wooden stick at. In fact it was partly tongue in cheek as I have a pretty decent idea as to what would suit you. Perth would not be on the list. I dare say we have somewhat similar tastes in preferences.

To my shame I had it all in Europe, only to surrender it to move here for some fanciful reason ,that proved extremely naïve but valid at the time.

[Siblin!]

Hello, having ping ponged twice now. I would advise staying in Australia. Your wife and daughter seem very settled and you seem to have a nice, enjoyable, settled life. We will be heading back again as the UK just isnt home anymore.

[BacktoDemocracy]

I appreciate your input but do you not think I have already considered that?

Sorry for being insensitive and offensive but I do still hold with my other feelings about the UK, I do have regrets about leaving especially now with Brexit rearing its ugly head.

[Keith and Linda]

Are you serious? I have visited Perth quite frequently, not recently I admit but I can't imagine living there. My niece, who's very like me in her preferences, tried living there a few years ago and hated it - so I would not contemplate it.

 

I do believe that must have been the first post by flag not doom and glooming Perth! he actually saw a positive in a negative.

[Keith and Linda]

I appreciate your input but do you not think I have already considered that?

 

Well you did ask for peoples thoughts in your op!

[goingbacksoon]

Greenford is a 45 minute drive north-east of my place here in Surrey. We live near the tri-county border, close to Hampshire and Berkshire. I bought a house at 51 in 2015 on one income without any problems and it has gone up in value in the last year. The house I sold in Australia has gone down in value according to the real estate web sites. Mind you I wish the exchange rate was so strong when I transferred the money over from the sale of the house in Australia!! It's really good at the moment, so you might gain that way even if the Australian house prices are not as high as they were.

[Keith and Linda]

Story of my life. We had a nice little house in the UK, which we wouldn't be able to afford now. We had a lovely house in Auckland which is double the value of our house here now. We live in the Redlands, south of Brisbane and the market has been very disappointing in our particular spot. I would have liked to hang on to it just in case we came back but the market here is so slow. I've suggested to the wife we buy in the UK, which is performing much better in most areas. Even if we sold in the UK in 5 or 10 years, to return here or NZ, I'm hoping it would have performed better than if we kept our house here, giving us enough to maybe buy somewhere mortgage free.

Knowing my luck though, Brisbane's market will really take off now we're selling!!

 

We are in the Redlands area too, and must admit that the property market in existing homes is slow, took over 2 yrs to sell ours and our friends in Redland bay are struggling to get folk to come and look at theirs. I think it may be because of all the new lower priced (and smaller) lots and homes going up in the area at present.

From your posts I am surprised when you say that you cannot find enough things to do here in Qld, sure it is nothing like the UK lifestyle or having something similar to Europe on your door step, but there are still plenty of things to see and do even cheap flights to other Aus cities & towns, as an example though not in our area but similar do come along, Jet Star had flights Melbourne to Hobart for $35.

Anyhow best of luck with your already decided move back to the UK.

[Rainman]

Sorry for being insensitive and offensive but I do still hold with my other feelings about the UK, I do have regrets about leaving especially now with Brexit rearing its ugly head.

 

Not a problem, no offence taken. It's important to consider the cold hard facts of our move and as you say, I did ask.

[Rainman]

Greenford is a 45 minute drive north-east of my place here in Surrey. We live near the tri-county border, close to Hampshire and Berkshire. I bought a house at 51 in 2015 on one income without any problems and it has gone up in value in the last year. The house I sold in Australia has gone down in value according to the real estate web sites. Mind you I wish the exchange rate was so strong when I transferred the money over from the sale of the house in Australia!! It's really good at the moment, so you might gain that way even if the Australian house prices are not as high as they were.

 

Have sent you a PM.

[VERYSTORMY]

My only thought is if you have a good job in Australia at your age and a good lifestyle with an easy commute and a good house then I wouldn't risk it to come back to the UK, property prices are through the roof, commuting is a nightmare, job security is sh*te, and employers expectations are through the roof, jobs for young people are a nightmare with or without a degree and the north -soth divide is more pronounced than ever.

We came back because we were older when we emigrated and found trying to downsize jobs and house very difficult in Australia so came back after 9 years.

Also the UK is about to go thro a difficult period with this Brexit fiasco, it could be a real problem fr a number of industries and for a number of years.

And being very un-feeling, but it may need to be said, your father is in his late 70's, you go back and he may be dead within 2 or 3 years, sorry to say that but you may put your whole future at risk simply for that, why not just plan some major trips and say the cost of that is less than the cost of a move .

There are days here when me at 70 and my wife at 53 miss our lifestyle in Qld hugely but trade that off against her retraining to be a psychotherapist and my pensions not being exposed to currency movents.

Sorry to be so blunt but these are things which we have learnt from being back 2.5 years and my wife working for the last 2 years in senior management position.

 

It is funny how experiences differ.

 

We we have a lot of young people in our family - recent graduates and all have secured fantastic jobs on graduating. Not surprising given the UK has pretty much full employment. I had interviews coming out of my earns in the last 6 months since arriving back - after nearly 2 years without even a sniff of an interview in oz.

 

There is is a north south divide, but, not necessarily in the way you have experienced it. We were initially in the south east and made a decision to leave and go north. We are now just south of Glasgow in a stunning little country village where i am renting a fantastic little cottage for a £1000 less per month than I was paying for a small flat in the south east Yes, my salary is less, but, less than £300 a month net. I can buy a nice cottage here for £130k - I wouldn't get a garden shed in the south for that. There are plenty of jobs here and the economy is doing very well.

 

As for lifestyle, we have a far better lifestyle here than we had in oz. We are much more outdoors - walking in the countryside.

 

Breixt, well, the IMF did a very humiliating interview yesterday after it was well established all their doom monger ingress rubbish. The U.K. was announced as the strongest developed economy in the world, the U.K. manufacting sector yesterday posted September growth at very high levels. I was and am a brexit supporter and although I was optomistic, I have been blown away by how much the country is flourishing.

[Keith and Linda]

It is funny how experiences differ.

 

We we have a lot of young people in our family - recent graduates and all have secured fantastic jobs on graduating. Not surprising given the UK has pretty much full employment. I had interviews coming out of my earns in the last 6 months since arriving back - after nearly 2 years without even a sniff of an interview in oz.

 

There is is a north south divide, but, not necessarily in the way you have experienced it. We were initially in the south east and made a decision to leave and go north. We are now just south of Glasgow in a stunning little country village where i am renting a fantastic little cottage for a £1000 less per month than I was paying for a small flat in the south east Yes, my salary is less, but, less than £300 a month net. I can buy a nice cottage here for £130k - I wouldn't get a garden shed in the south for that. There are plenty of jobs here and the economy is doing very well.

 

As for lifestyle, we have a far better lifestyle here than we had in oz. We are much more outdoors - walking in the countryside.

 

Breixt, well, the IMF did a very humiliating interview yesterday after it was well established all their doom monger ingress rubbish. The U.K. was announced as the strongest developed economy in the world, the U.K. manufacting sector yesterday posted September growth at very high levels. I was and am a brexit supporter and although I was optomistic, I have been blown away by how much the country is flourishing.

 

Good on you vs, but can't wait to see what the remain group will say about your upbeat brexit comments.

[Glittering Prize]

Hi Rainman, sorry this is my first post but been lurking around for ten years Yeah one of those people that don't have a lot to say. Been here in Australia for 11 years and can totally relate to you post, only hubby has no interest in going back to the Uk. We have 2 girls 21 and 19 both studying and the eldest has a boyfriend of 3 years. Hubby works shift work over the 7 day week, I work part time in a job I'm ok with. Between us I would say we earn a comfortable amount of money although I feel it doesn't seem to stretch so far here? Maybe. I'm out of touch but I'm sure our money went a lot further in the Uk. We use to live in the SouthEast and at the age of 51 I have a strong pull to move back there. It seems like at least your family are semi set up to going back but I can totally understand your predicament. Not any easy decision to make. I wish you well in what ever you decide to follow through with.

[bristolman]

I should have mentioned I wouldn't be working in the centre of London, but in West London, close to Greenford and I would be driving, not getting the train.

 

This is the plan that I'm hoping could work without totally ruining our quality of life (please point out the holes). We buy a house as soon as we can either somewhere in Dorset, Gloucestershire or Hereford and Worcester. All areas that we love and great places to live. The location is obviously very dependant on house price and hopefully we can get a house where our mortgage is around 800 pounds a month MAX. I would rent a room 4 days a week, close to my work (my mate's sister in law rents rooms out at around 80 pounds a week). Then I would drive home on a Friday night to our beautiful house in the country (wishful thinking). As long as our outgoings for mortgage and rent don't exceed 1200 pound s a month and keep fuel costs to the minimum, I think that is workable?

I'm not under any illusions it wouldn't be difficult at times but I believe the quality time would outweigh the crap times. In many ways it wouldn't be that different if we had to relocate to Sydney and I know where I'd rather be.

After 5 years, we would assess the situation and if financially it stacked up, I'd get a job working locally though right now I've no idea what I'd do...though I'd love to run a B&B!

 

I wake up at night thinking what the hell am I doing, it's total madness what I'm persuading my family to do and they're loyally agreeing to my plans because they're relying on me having done the homework and I know what I'm doing but do I? But, in the cold light of day when I think about our life here, although we do have a good standard of living and yes, the weather's great a lot of the time, we don't do anything exciting or interesting. We've got a couple of acquaintances that we have over for dinner from time to time but that doesn't happen often. We could go on like that until suddenly we find we're in our Seventies and then it's too late.

I do miss the days when the kids were younger when we had a large group of friends because all our kids went to the same Primary school. Often in the summer because we lived closest to their school, the parents and kids came over to ours for a swim at the end of the day. Sometimes we'd end up having pool parties or impromptu BBQ's on a Friday, going late into the night while the kids all played in the pool. Good times. That's all finished now, unfortunately some of the friends moved interstate or the friendship's fizzled out because the kids aren't mates anymore and now we find ourselves just going from day to day, doing the same old mundane things with nothing much to look forward to. Ok, we have a decent amount of disposable income but when we talk about doing something like going on holiday, the options are limited without having to spend huge amounts of money. Unless it's to NZ to visit the wife's family or somewhere in Asia, which none of us are fussed about, we might decide to rent a house for a week close to the beach a few hours drive from Brissy, looking at pretty much the same view and doing the same things that we do at home, because we live close to beach here as well!

There is no diversity here compared to living in Europe and after 10 years of doing the same old things it's getting very dull. We have friends and family in Spain, Germany and Switzerland, we'd love to be able to just pop over to those places when the mood took us. It doesn't take as much planning as it does doing it from here. Plus because I want to see my family in the UK yearly, we seem to just save for the next trip to the UK and I have to use most of my annual leave. It doesn't make sense to me to have that sort of existence anymore. But at the same time I have to be very careful that I don't totally ruin our lives because I haven't thought it through enough.

It's a total nightmare and I wish I'd never set foot in this bloody country (damn, there's no emoticon for stamping foot on the ground and sucking thumb :jiggy:).

 

I would seriously look at the options of finding work in the area you want to live, 40k is hardly a high wage especially in London and if as I said before you got a job paying even 30k where you wa tedious to live you would still be better off. I would forget Dorset as it is very expensive but Hereford and Worcester are very affordable and you wouldn't need much more than the deposit you have mentioned so would need a small mortgage. £200k buys you a decent house in a nice area in these parts.

[bristolman]

Hi Rainman, sorry this is my first post but been lurking around for ten years Yeah one of those people that don't have a lot to say. Been here in Australia for 11 years and can totally relate to you post, only hubby has no interest in going back to the Uk. We have 2 girls 21 and 19 both studying and the eldest has a boyfriend of 3 years. Hubby works shift work over the 7 day week, I work part time in a job I'm ok with. Between us I would say we earn a comfortable amount of money although I feel it doesn't seem to stretch so far here? Maybe. I'm out of touch but I'm sure our money went a lot further in the Uk. We use to live in the SouthEast and at the age of 51 I have a strong pull to move back there. It seems like at least your family are semi set up to going back but I can totally understand your predicament. Not any easy decision to make. I wish you well in what ever you decide to follow through with.

 

We certainly find our money goes further here for sure.

[VERYSTORMY]

Good on you vs, but can't wait to see what the remain group will say about your upbeat brexit comments.

 

So am I.

 

The IMF have said they were wrong with their doom and gloom and instead yesterday announced the UK is the strongest economy in the G7.

 

Yesterday the manufacturing sector posted great numbers, today the service sector has beaten expectations and the car manufacturers have just announced record car sales. So, it was like many of us said. I like many said the IMF were talking rubbish. That industry would be better and the service sector stronger

[bristolman]

So am I.

 

The IMF have said they were wrong with their doom and gloom and instead yesterday announced the UK is the strongest economy in the G7.

 

Yesterday the manufacturing sector posted great numbers, today the service sector has beaten expectations and the car manufacturers have just announced record car sales. So, it was like many of us said. I like many said the IMF were talking rubbish. That industry would be better and the service sector stronger

 

It's all smoke and mirrors, the UK is headed for a financial abyss, well apparently. Not only is the IMF totally wrong the UK economy is actually going to shrink by 4% a year, I'm just amazed that fact hasn't made it into the news, any news, anywhere.

[Rainman]

We certainly find our money goes further here for sure.

 

When I was over last month, I was taking note at how much things cost. I was surprised how much more expensive some things were (Wine!! and petrol) and others that were on a par with Australian prices, allowing for the exchange rate. Not sure about utility bills but the lack of competition and regulation over here I'd say the UK is cheaper. On the whole I'd say there's not much in it. In Queensland we're used to not having to pay for parking at the beach-going to struggle with that one. We went to Durdle Door in Dorset and had to pay 4 quid for the car park for a couple of hours!

[bristolman]

When I was over last month, I was taking note at how much things cost. I was surprised how much more expensive some things were (Wine!! and petrol) and others that were on a par with Australian prices, allowing for the exchange rate. Not sure about utility bills but the lack of competition and regulation over here I'd say the UK is cheaper. On the whole I'd say there's not much in it. In Queensland we're used to not having to pay for parking at the beach-going to struggle with that one. We went to Durdle Door in Dorset and had to pay 4 quid for the car park for a couple of hours!

 

We find most things cheaper here, some noticeably. I don't drink that much wine but cider is very much cheaper. Petrol I don't worry about as we don't have to pay $800 a year registration and our insurance is cheaper so it cancels out a lot of the difference. Electricity is cheaper here, both unit cost and daily charge. The amount of times I have to pay for parking doesn't bother me really.