Jump to content

Having kids


FOL

Recommended Posts

Well my mums on parleys side about the age thing. I ended up having a heated discussion with her :laugh: fair enough it can be harder to conceive but there's no way women should feel pressured into having them when not ready just incase they seem a few years too old. As long as they are ready and have the energy etc that's the main thing

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My nearly 4 year old boy has started answering back! All the time. Driving me nuts.

 

Haha I can imagine! They are funny.. Well when they are somebody else's lol. My cousins boy is 2 now and he's started being stroppy and saying "I need" instead of "I want". I didn't even realise they could talk that much at that age :laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well my mums on parleys side about the age thing. I ended up having a heated discussion with her :laugh: fair enough it can be harder to conceive but there's no way women should feel pressured into having them when not ready just incase they seem a few years too old. As long as they are ready and have the energy etc that's the main thing

 

Might be an age (shhhh!) thing! Those views are quite old fashioned!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Might be an age (shhhh!) thing! Those views are quite old fashioned! í*½í¸‰

 

Oh definitely. My gran mentions my age quite often too. I had a boss that told me I basically couldn't have travel AND uni because I would be too old to start thinking about having kids and having a career. I thought that was harsh and old fashioned lol. Never mind.. I'll have them if I decide I even want to and once I'm ready and can afford them. I could barely afford a puppy at the moment never mind a baby :laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually i think many people today think that the definition of poverty is not being able to afford Sky Sports or the latest smartphones lol. The 50 inch LCD TV is a given.

 

Too much of a materialistic world these days, its just a real shame that people think they are poor because they have not got a smart phone :(

A loving couple both want a child and both want smart phones and a 50inch TV, they say they cant afford a child!!! so buy the phones and tv instead, 3 years down the line the tv is stuffed, 1 year down the line the phones are out dated and need renewing, does this means they are poor again? a child would still be there growing and improving after bringing so much joy into your life and still many more years to go, actually in most cases outliving you.........Gee I know which is the best value for money

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Too much of a materialistic world these days, its just a real shame that people think they are poor because they have not got a smart phone :(

A loving couple both want a child and both want smart phones and a 50inch TV, they say they cant afford a child!!! so buy the phones and tv instead, 3 years down the line the tv is stuffed, 1 year down the line the phones are out dated and need renewing, does this means they are poor again? a child would still be there growing and improving after bringing so much joy into your life and still many more years to go, actually in most cases outliving you.........Gee I know which is the best value for money

 

The 'poor' people HAVE a 50" TV and latest iPhone AND have about 6 kids! But that's a whole other debate! Lol!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The point is though, modern women put it off prioritising their careers and other things, then hit their mid 30's and think I better start my family now.

And sadly many start to have fertility problems or marriages have broken up etc.

 

Well the birth rate is going up !

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/british-birth-rate-leaps-by-18-in-a-decade-9107483.html

 

"Dorman also believes women having babies later has contributed to the rise : “We’ve seen over the last ten to 15 years gradual increases in older mothers. More and more mothers are having children at an older age. We’re seeing the same number of births for women aged 25-35 but we’re also seeing women having an additional birth later. These top up rather than replace younger births.”

Edited by Bound4Tassie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The suggestion that a mother would abandon her baby if it wasn't cute enough is very low imo.

 

I cannot imagine any mother doing that.

 

But obviously some of the mums agree and have given it a like.

 

Which just goes to show you didn't even bother to read my post properly. I did not make that statement and that's not what they were liking.

 

I'll try again. There are TWO kinds of maternal instinct you're referring to: first there's the love of babies and the desire for one of your own, and then there's loving the child once it arrives. The two are not connected and it's possible to feel one without the other.

 

The vast majority of animals and birds express no interest in, and will not care for, other individual's babies - so the "love of babies" maternal instinct is a HUMAN thing. And we don't even know how widespread it is in humans, because it's just not allowed in our society for women NOT to coo over a baby. As you can see on these forums, though, it's not universal by any means.

 

Then there's the love for the child once it arrives. Again, it is expected in our society that all women fall madly in love with their babies. It's true for many and it's great for those it happens to, but it does NOT happen to everyone - and it's really irresponsible of some people to pressure women who don't feel the desire to have kids with cliches like "oh you must have children, it completes you, you'll never regret it, blah blah blah...". Because some women never do get that madly in love feeling, and without it, kids are tough.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Marisa, I was commenting on Naomi's comment not yours. Naomi believes more women would abandon their babies if they weren't cute.

btw female elephants do look after the herds babies.

 

Blossom, Did you read the links I provided ?

I cannot assume yours is correct when so many others I've read say the exact opposite. That a women's fertility peaks in her early 20's.

I can provide many more links. Can you beyond this one BBC magazine article. I don't believe it as so many others say the exact opposite.

Edited by parleycross
Link to comment
Share on other sites

According to IVF Australia.Once you turn 36, your chance of conceiving naturally is halved compared to your chance at 20 years of age. At the age of 41, this chance falls to just 4%. That’s the success rate for couples per month of trying when the female is aged 41 to 42.

 

http://ivf.com.au/about-fertility/female-reproductive-system/effect-of-age-on-fertility#risk-of-miscarriage-increases-with-age

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Marisa, I was commenting on Naomi's comment not yours. Naomi believes more women would abandon their babies if they weren't cute.

btw female elephants do look after the herds babies.

 

Blossom, Did you read the links I provided ?

I cannot assume yours is correct when so many others I've read say the exact opposite. That a women's fertility peaks in her early 20's.

I can provide many more links. Can you beyond this one BBC magazine article. I don't believe it as so many others say the exact opposite.

 

I read Naomi's comment as tongue in cheek, though I do think "cuteness" is a protective thing.

 

Yes there are herd animals who look after other babies (e.g. elephants, meerkats) but it's not a common thing in the animal world: for instance hippos will kill other's offspring to prevent competition, and it's very hard to get some species to suckle another's young if the mother dies.

 

As for fertility and safety - actually I agree the best time to have babies is in your twenties, but I certainly wouldn't tell any young woman she "should" have babies at that age. She should have one if she wants one - and if she wants one, she won't be asking whether to go ahead, or whether she can afford it - the drive will be too strong for that.

Edited by Marisawright
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Marisa, I take your point about maternal instinct only being demonstrated after birth not before.

Apologies if I offended you, I didn't mean to.

 

It makes me think some people who have never been clucky and so not had kids, may have missed out as their attitude may have totally changed after having a baby of their own.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Marisa, I take your point about maternal instinct only being demonstrated after birth not before.

Apologies if I offended you, I didn't mean to.

 

It makes me think some people who have never been clucky and so not had kids, may have missed out as their attitude may have totally changed after having a baby of their own.

 

 

But then they'll never know will they, so they won't feel they've missed out. It's only you worrying about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...