Perthbum Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I also fell into the trap of agreeing to come back to UK after 4 years in Oz. I must have been f*ing insane as had a well paid secure job and new house build. We could never get that in UK with the way things are now. Australia is a great way of life and I''m back but the family don't want to come over. Can't understand how we managed to throw something so amazing away. That's life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 To Jasepom: How come you came back to the UK if it was so good? Just interested.....there must have been something wrong to go home? Are you back in Australia with wife/kids back home? That must be pretty hard?? We are leaving in 7 weeks, Im interested in people that get home and think "oh bugger"......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johndoe Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Sorry but I was only talking to my husband two day ago about this. The education all over Oz is a total let down. You've experienced it "all over Oz" have you? :wacko: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 Sorry but I was only talking to my husband two day ago about this. The education all over Oz is a total let down. I thought I had stepped into a 3rd world counrty, The work my kids where given when we arrived was a joke, they had all done it 2 years before in the UK. My kids found it very hard to settle in school because the work was so old. I have a Aussie friend whos kids all went to private school and she told me that the private schools are just like our public schools in the UK that are free. This lady has said shes a teacher so knows what shes talking about.. I feel for you Im not settled in OZ I live in Sydney been here 4 years, if it was'nt for my kids I would go home, I had a good life there aswell... I really hope that you and ur husband can sort this out, but I would also do what my heart is telling me. Once your kids are settled it makes life impossible to move This thread is getting completely off topic but I could not let this go as I find the criticism of education, schools, right school, wrong school, horrible teachers, etc etc could go on and on. For a start before criticising an education system, what do we as parents do to educate our children? Why would the education system be the same in every country, I lived in three different countries whilst at school and they were all different, wonder why? Don't blame the education system, stop thinking the only bright child is yours/ours, there are many many according to the threads I read on here about children. A child will learn under a tree if they want to learn, teachers are only guides delivering a curriculum and we have to also educate ourselves. My son fairly intelligent I guess, went to private high school, good school, nice school, doing ok then he hit year 10, 11 and 12, by 12 he had discovered a social life. We are not interfering type parents, we guide, teach responsibility but that does not mean the child will follow it. Gets his VCE results, oh dear not what he had in mind, but completely what he deserved, oh dear Mum what am I going to do. Well better do something about it. Off to TAFE studies for two years and off to University to do science, now he is a teacher and a fairly good one, in that he gives a lot of his free time to the school. He learned his lesson and made him better for it. The outcome for my son would have been the same whatever school, whatever country he was in because it was all about him. Stop and think and stop living through children and wishing them to be like us, they are individual. A school where a child feels happy, fits in is far better than the top school where they do not fit in. Also do not agree when comparisons are made by your children when you come here because you are not helping them at school, you are making them different so they will not fit in. Just explain that things are different here. Superiority breeds loneliness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I think in the UK there seems to be more focus on exams and exam results all the way through. The curriculum seems more in depth but also a lot narrower. Here in Australia many people are very successful financially without having any degrees or formal learning behind them. Maybe not the case so much in the UK? I think there is also a bit of snobbery and class stuff associated with the British education system. There is that here, too but not to such an extent and kids are aware that there are several paths to choose from and one is not necessarily better than another. Book learning isn't everything after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
an1ta Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 (edited) You've experienced it "all over Oz" have you? :wacko: Well this Lady lives in Perth I also know a few other people who live there, I have friends that live all over Oz what with my Hubby being in the armed forces we meet people from everywhere. Also being told by a few of my Aussie friends that the education is better in the UK I'm sorry if I have upset you, but I'm saying it as I see it. And with having put three kids through schools in the UK and Australia, I think I have a right to my opinion.. Edited September 20, 2012 by an1ta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob1 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Lets ignore all the research evidence folk and welcome An!ta, the education expert of Australia who has chatted to a few folk so knows for definite that the whole of the Oz education system is like a 3rd world country. But hold on a minute - the Indian Govt ( a 3rd world country like Australia) are lamenting the fact that there are no Indian Universities in the top 100 list of best Universities in the world, and Oz have actually got more % wise than the UK, so for a 3rd world country we are doing rather well. And when we compete world wide against assessments for literacy/numeracy/science for 15year olds we're coming way above many non 3rd world countries including the UK so gosh, we're doing really well but you'll know best because little Johnny finds the work easy. Good on him and long may it continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
an1ta Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Lets ignore all the research evidence folk and welcome An!ta, the education expert of Australia who has chatted to a few folk so knows for definite that the whole of the Oz education system is like a 3rd world country. But hold on a minute - the Indian Govt ( a 3rd world country like Australia) are lamenting the fact that there are no Indian Universities in the top 100 list of best Universities in the world, and Oz have actually got more % wise than the UK, so for a 3rd world country we are doing rather well. And when we compete world wide against assessments for literacy/numeracy/science for 15year olds we're coming way above many non 3rd world countries including the UK so gosh, we're doing really well but you'll know best because little Johnny finds the work easy. Good on him and long may it continue.[/quote WHY THANKS FOR FOR THAT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I think in the UK there seems to be more focus on exams and am results all the way through. The curriculum seems more in depth but also a lot narrower. Here in Australia many people are very successful financially without having any degrees or formal learning behind them. Maybe not the case so much in the UK? I think there is also a bit of snobbery and class stuff associated with the British education system. There is that here, too but not to such an extent and kids are aware that there are several paths to choose from and one is not necessarily better than another. Book learning isn't everything after all. This idea of class and snobbery here seems so outdated, we just dont see ANY evidence of it at all. This country seems to be full of self made millionaires with no formal qualifications, one obvious example is of course Richard Branson, another I was reading about is John Bloor the owner of Bloor Homes and Triumph Motorcycles who started as an uneducated plasterer. There semms to be just as many in both countries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseBrown1972 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Think clearly. Britain is finished. We should all give thanks to the early British settlers and ten pound pound poms who built this country from nothing. Stick it out, homesickness will pass. Is this really any help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Not only is it no help but totally inaccurate and ridiculous. Is this really any help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseBrown1972 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Once you make a decision to uproot your family, lock stock and barrel and make the biggest move you could possibly make then I think you have a certain obligation to try and make it work. The fact that your husband and sons are happy in their new country (which you chose for them) means that you are now in a minority of one. If you decide now to return to the uk you will not be going home, you will be leaving home. your home is where your family are and at the moment that place is Australia. The UK is just another place where you used to live. Until you change your mindset and realise that YOU ARE ALREADY HOME you will never settle. Maybe you should try making the move before make a statement like this!! Home is always home, even people I know who are happy here still call UK home!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullso Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 No one said it would be easy moving to a new country new people new friends new culture but we feel it will be worth it in the long run. I feel for you after 8 months still sstruggling but you can't throw in the towel yet. My wife is struggling already after 5 weeks but if you read my blog on rentals you will understand why ! Stay strong don't give up yet and if you believe then may your god go with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Is this really any help! No its of no help at alland I am still waiting for clarification as to why the Uk is "finished" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobby1000 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 No one said it would be easy moving to a new country new people new friends new culture but we feel it will be worth it in the long run. I feel for you after 8 months still sstruggling but you can't throw in the towel yet. My wife is struggling already after 5 weeks but if you read my blog on rentals you will understand why ! Stay strong don't give up yet and if you believe then may your god go with you Just out of interest (Im not challenging you at all here) if you are struggling after 5 weeks, when do you think you would say "oh bollox to it". Im asking because we struggled early on and after 17 months we gave up. We are still here but will return to the UK after 26 months here. Im interested to know how long new arrivals think they will give it.......thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest chris955 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I wouldnt hold your breath waiting for the clarification but what do I know, I just live here LOL. No its of no help at alland I am still waiting for clarification as to why the Uk is "finished" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moonwalker Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Can I just say thank you so much to people for all your kind words, support and advice. It really helps to feel that Im not on my own and there are people out there that understand how I feel. But can I say that some peoples views and Im not looking for an argument or debate here cause I really am not in a place to be bothered with it have made me feel even crappier. Some people seem to just want to argue and when someone is feeling as low and crappy as I have been feeling it makes it feel very personnal and directed at you. Some people have not taken into account what has been written and dont give a damn how they make anyone feel so long as they can create a debate. I wish people could be blocked from posting on these discussions as reading some posts have made me feel quite upset. Again thank you to the genuine people on here for actually caring enough to post something worth reading. Again this is not a debate its a big thank you to genuine people. You have given me alot to consider and think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Can I just say thank you so much to people for all your kind words, support and advice. It really helps to feel that Im not on my own and there are people out there that understand how I feel. But can I say that some peoples views and Im not looking for an argument or debate here cause I really am not in a place to be bothered with it have made me feel even crappier. Some people seem to just want to argue and when someone is feeling as low and crappy as I have been feeling it makes it feel very personnal and directed at you. Some people have not taken into account what has been written and dont give a damn how they make anyone feel so long as they can create a debate. I wish people could be blocked from posting on these discussions as reading some posts have made me feel quite upset. Again thank you to the genuine people on here for actually caring enough to post something worth reading. Again this is not a debate its a big thank you to genuine people. You have given me alot to consider and think about. I'm sorry that certain members have made you feel worse, I can assure you we are taking a strong stance on this, with 2 members already having their access to this forum restricted today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest16631 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 ..........hello moonwalker................a difficult and heartbreaking situation for you..............as a mother your family's happiness is of course your main priority but unless we are happy and content how can we support them.............it's a tragic situation when not all of a family unit have the same goals..............something I to have thought about recently..............at the end of the day ..........it's your family unit that matters.............there is always going to be someone who has to sacrifice something for the good of the whole...........and only you and yours can make that desicion................we each have a right to contentment.............but as a family sometimes one persons will have to be slightly compromised...........for the good of the whole.................it's finding the least destructive...............I wish you and yours all the best................and luck with the choices ahead of you...........tink x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somgirl Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Hi Moonwalker, I've thought about replying to your thread several times, but couldn't think of anything I could say that would help. But, i'm really sorry that you find yourself in this situation. In the time i've been on PIO, this situation has arisen more than once. I do think one thing i have picked up on over this time, is that there is a difference between 'I don't want to live here long term' and 'I really need to get on the next plane home' I think one is more of an emotional reaction and the other is a more long term plan. The only thing I thought from your original post was that you seem to have done all the obvious things to make settling easier, so, is your husband really aware of how bad you're feeling? If he sees you doing all these things, maybe you appear on the surface to be settling in reasonably well for someone who's only been here 8 months. I really hope you can find a solution which works for all of you. :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I'm sorry that certain members have made you feel worse, I can assure you we are taking a strong stance on this, with 2 members already having their access to this forum restricted today. What great news this is... :yes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beach bum Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 I too am in a similar situation but i don't have kids with my partner, we came here 5 years ago and he won't go back either.He has told me we can sell the house and i go back on my own.I have managed 5 years but that ''feeling'' never goes away.I feel for you cos at least i can go without any real loss,i feel i have lost my partner to a country and it hurt's like hell.Good luck xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mullso Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Just out of interest (Im not challenging you at all here) if you are struggling after 5 weeks, when do you think you would say "oh bollox to it". Im asking because we struggled early on and after 17 months we gave up. We are still here but will return to the UK after 26 months here. Im interested to know how long new arrivals think they will give it.......thanks We need a home 3 wee ones in a 2 bed flat is not fun ! Plus our dog is in the pet hotel and we miss her! I think it's easier for me as I am at work all day my wife is at hone with the kids and no adult contact. My company has been great even down to the directors wife calling my wife to meet for coffee! It just takes time. I think we will settle once we get a house I would not even consider giving up till we have done at LEAST 2 years . We have thought about this move for 4 years but its been tougher and a damn site more expensive than we thought but we may have found a house so it's onwards and upwards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest michelpp Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 What a situation. Do your british relatives give you a support? It seems your husband is a dammed selfish person that has no sympathy for your suffering. If he can cope separeting from his wife and his children so easily, I would think better if you can count on him for anything, on what he represents to the family. A leader? That threatens to turn his back to his own family? It seems your not loosing no big deal. Of course England is much better, after all. Things will be tough, but you and your children will be back to civilization. Good universities, good health support (NHS), culture and mild weather. I wish you all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerry Pollard Posted December 18, 2012 Share Posted December 18, 2012 Hi moonwalker, I can't imagine what you are going through cause we are all going back nxt year and we've only been here 7 months, we were going to stay for 2 yrs to see how we liked it, we're on a 457 visa so its only for 4 yrs anyway even though we were looking at PR and citizenship but I can't stay that long, my OH loves it here but understands what we left behind isn't worth what we have here, which is a lot less by the way. We came for a better life and an adventure but its turned out to be the best move ever as its made me realise that home is and will always be the UK, my heart is their and at the top of my list is FAMILY. I have not been the same since we got here, so I won't be staying any longer than I have to and you need to do what u feel is right for u and your family. I don't get the posts why the uk is finished? Do people actually watch the Ozzie news here. Be happy moonwalker, you only get one life. Xxxxx kerry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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