kellyjamie Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi if anyone can offer advice i would be grateful. My son was going to his dads today to stay over nite. His school called me to express concern over the fact he had been to his guidance teacher to confide in her that his dad has told him to pack a bag as hes not coming back because hes going to get custody of him. School called me straight away i then called his dad who assured me it was rubbish and dylan must of got the wrong end of the stick. I stupidly still allowed him to pick my son up. He then called to say we need to talk theres some problems with my son. So i met him and my son at McDonalds car park today at 4 he told me my son wants to stay with him for a while i said no way not happenin he served me with a lawyers letter told my son to get in his car which he did then locked the car i was shouting and crying he told me i better get a lawyer, he said it was only for a while or something i didnt take it all in then drove off. I called my son a hour ago and its like he has no idea of the greif hes causing, he spoke like normal and said that although he wants to stay with his dad for a bit he still loves me very very much, it broke my heart, i dont know what to do hes my baby he needs to come home. I know for a fact hes been coersed into this by his father. He didnt even see our son for our nearly 2 years hes never attended a single parents evening etc etc. I dont understand he has signed papers to allow us to take him to Australia?? If anyone has any advice we are working under scots law Many thanks:cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest juliemtaylor Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 OMG that is terrible, can you call your Solicitor? Otherwise go to the Police station and ask them who to contact?? If he has a letter that he served upon you was it stamped by the courts?? I would have thought you'd have had something in writing to tell you of this going to happen?? Hope you get something sorted soon.. Julie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 We went straight to the police they cant help they said. And cant get a lawyer until Monday. I was given no warning an it was a letter from his lawyer not the court. Hes using the fact my son is nearly 13 saying he can make up his own mind Thankyou Julie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terry & Melanie Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 :hug:OMG! What a shock. I don't know about scotts law but surely he can't just do that when he has signed papers to say you can take him to Oz. Surely the fact that he didn't see him for 2 years and he was willing to let you take him will go against him in a court of law. The school will also be able to support the fact that you have and will be the main carer and support for your child. You really do need to get a professional on this ASAP. My thoughts are with you Hun, Stay strong:hug: Melanie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablo Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Just want to say that i hope everything works out for the best,for you and your son,thats all,very sad story,all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gollywobbler Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 We went straight to the police they cant help they said. And cant get a lawyer until Monday. I was given no warning an it was a letter from his lawyer not the court. Hes using the fact my son is nearly 13 saying he can make up his own mindThankyou Julie x Hi Kellie I am SO very sorry for you and I can imagine the shock. I am not a family lawyer. However I believe that a child cannot choose until the child is 16? The Hague Convention does not apply because International Abduction is not involved. However I believe that Hague is right about the child needing to be 16 before the child can choose anything. There might be a Hague (or similar) Convention about children in their own country but I don't know. I will try to find out and I will PM you if I manage to discover anything. Hugs :hug: Gill xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynne1266 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I'm so sorry to hear this, we're you married to the father when your son was born ? My husband has children from a previous relationship and because they weren't married he has no PR. One of the children lived with us but when her mother wanted her back we had to give her because we could not legally keep her ! Lynne xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warren&liz Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 OMG how dreadful. I can't imagine your distress. Please try to keep positive. I'll be thinking of you. Lots of hugs Liz xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hearne_Family Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Maybe talking to a solicitor/lawyer would be better than posting on a public forum?? You need to be careful when it comes to things like this not to name names and not to make any statements that could be harmful to any court apperances that might come about from this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lsbc1976 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I agree with the above and would delete your origianl post asap. If he has parental rights you can really do nothing and will have to go through the courts to regain custody, which i imagine would happen very quickly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 My thoughts are with you, kids don't really understand that they are being hurtful, I'm sure given time (a few day's) your son will miss you, so far it's an adventure and who dosen't want an adventure? I know it's hard but don't treat it that this is it, you have lost him forever, he has gone to his Dad's for the weekend and on Monday things will get sorted. I wish you well :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I agree with the above and would delete your origianl post asap. If he has parental rights you can really do nothing and will have to go through the courts to regain custody, which i imagine would happen very quickly I'm sure Gill (gollywobbler) would of advised the OP if this post was in anyway wrong, sometimes it's good just to be able to talk it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sunnyday Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi hun, Im so sorry for your nightmare. If you both have parental rights (I'm assuming he must have if the police won't do anything) he has to take him to school, if he doesn't then surely legally you have the upper hand as you legally have to take your kids to school. If he takes him to school ensure school know the situation and its you that picks him up, if he doesn't take him ensure your solicitor knows this asap. I can't imagine what you're going through hun, sending hugs . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartertucker Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Your poor little boy....:frown: Its so sad when a parent does this to their own child..... I really hope all works out & that your Son is Ok....:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaza Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Im sorry I cant give you any advice but I really hope it all works out for you & that your son is home with you again soon. :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi thankyou so much everyone. Yes he has parental rights. Geoffrey i agree i think he reckons its one big adventure, my mum says he,ll be home within 2 weeks, i hope so. Im going to consult a lawyer first thing monday morning. Theres more to this than ive openly typed but obviously i wouldnt type the whole story, just enough to be able to gain some advice and opinions Thanks again its just such a shock as everythings been so amicable or so i thought xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi thankyou so much everyone. Yes he has parental rights. Geoffrey i agree i think he reckons its one big adventure, my mum says he,ll be home within 2 weeks, i hope so. Im going to consult a lawyer first thing monday morning. Theres more to this than ive openly typed but obviously i wouldnt type the whole story, just enough to be able to gain some advice and opinions Thanks again its just such a shock as everythings been so amicable or so i thought xx Jake goes to his Dad's every 2nd weekend, he gets to stay up late, not do any homework, does not have to eat vegtables, gets to do what he wants. Life is sooooo easy at his dads, hey if I liked his dad I'd ask to live there myself.... LOL. At home he goes to bed at 8, has to do his homework, eat his veg, chores, etc, etc, as a responsible parent we need to do this, if we only had him every 2nd weekend we could turn a blind eye as well. Things maybe easy for the 1st few weeks but there will come a point where his Dad tells him off, sets rules, etc then Mum's won't feel so bad. Your ex husbands life will be turned upside down with so much more responsability and as we know having kids full time is not that easy. I know it's hard, and easy to say but enjoy your time without your son, things will work out it just needs time. At least your son is safe and you know where he is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda9 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 the best interest of any child of separated parents is to have shared contact with both parents,its hard for both parents when they are not with there child,lets hope this is not going to have to go through the courts and that your relationship stays amicable,take a deep breath,arrange to meet up with the dad asap without the child being there to discus arrangements,as the child is now growing up fast he maybe need more man time, a thirteen year old girl ,unless a tomboy needs mum time,reading your post I feel it is all going to work out good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 Geoffrey i agree with you 100% Now ive had time to calm down and think more rationally. My dad said he,ll have no idea how much hurt hes causing he,ll just see it as one big adventure. His father says he,ll drive him to school on monday which i doubt very much hes a good 30 min away. I will however speak to school 9am monday morning. Its hard because my son and my husband have a great relationship and he calls him dad so hes not had a lack of male influence, i dont know i could sit and analyse it all night but i am exhausted from crying. Many many thanks everyone, :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Kelly I am so sorry and I really know how you feel. My daughter did the same but my Ex was in Australia and at the age of 15 decided that she would rather live with him than me. I dont know how old your son is but they all try it on, afterall you dish out the rules and when they visit Dad very often they dont so its an exciting alternative. Its devistating but sometimes you have to wait until they are ready to come home, in my experience usually about 2 weeks, but as I said I am not sure how old your son is. :hug: for what you are going through its just awful, please feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Proview220 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 kelly, just calm down on the situation you are in, do you think for one min your son is in any danger, my opinion is no hes not, however if he does not return for school monday marning, your first call should be not to the police but the social services and explain your situation. this all may have blown out of contex with all the reply on this forum, at the end of the day do what you think is best for you. Goodluck Proview Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tracy123 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Geoffrey i agree with you 100% Now ive had time to calm down and think more rationally. My dad said he,ll have no idea how much hurt hes causing he,ll just see it as one big adventure. His father says he,ll drive him to school on monday which i doubt very much hes a good 30 min away. I will however speak to school 9am monday morning. Its hard because my son and my husband have a great relationship and he calls him dad so hes not had a lack of male influence, i dont know i could sit and analyse it all night but i am exhausted from crying. Many many thanks everyone, :hug: If he doesn't take him to school, he will find himself getting in trouble with the school authorities make sure you inform school and make sure they mark your sons unauthorised abcences against your ex. (which they will) May sound bitchy but if it goes to court things like that go in your favour. Anyway you should be on your 3rd bottle of wine by now how can you still type :wubclub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andromeda9 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Geoffrey i agree with you 100% Now ive had time to calm down and think more rationally. My dad said he,ll have no idea how much hurt hes causing he,ll just see it as one big adventure. His father says he,ll drive him to school on monday which i doubt very much hes a good 30 min away. I will however speak to school 9am monday morning. Its hard because my son and my husband have a great relationship and he calls him dad so hes not had a lack of male influence, i dont know i could sit and analyse it all night but i am exhausted from crying. Many many thanks everyone, :hug: I feel so sorry at the hurt your feeling,we all have one mum and one dad,he will love your husband, they have a great relationship,if he lived with dad and his new wife (if he had one)he would also love her,as we love nice aunties,uncles brothers sisters ect that does not take away any of the love he has for you, don't think of it as a rejection as your son cant split himself in half,be happy that he has a relationship with his dad,so many men don't want to know,thats hinders the development of many children take care regards Lynda x:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest36187 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 There could be many reasons for what has happened. - Your ex could be using your son to play off against you - I appreciate that everything has been amicable but it may have suddently hit home that you are taking him to Oz! Thats a big thing for a parent to have to deal with. - At the end of the day he is your sons father. No matter what he has/hasnt done now or in the past - he is still Dad! I know I would be mortified (amicable or not) if I had a child that my ex was taking away to another country. I dont believe that your son `knows` he is doing anything to you. He is with his Dad and that will be the bigger picture for him! Fun with Dad! People/Kids dont always realise the hurt they can cause with a simple action or comment. I hope that you get the help you need. Are there no solicitors taht you can contact today? Just my random thoughts x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rachbarlow Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 :hug:I have just read your post and have come away feeling really sad. I hope that this works out for you. You son will be home before you know it. Keep a record of all of this, times actions taken etc., in case you do end up in court. It is best to be prepared from the off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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