Moved Back To The UK From Australia, Was It Hard To Adapt?

[kiwiathome]

You still do! You are good for each other, who can resist "everything is awesome". Although, personally, I found that movie quite hard going! but my children enjoyed it!

[Guest]

I now get this. You are actually "friendly" bickering and the fact you keep coming back to each other for banter, means actually you think each other is very important to your day! Nice. Whether in agreement or not, it might mean a lot to some people to have a focus for their day and any chance of communication. Some people are so isolated, some people (like me with a hubby away a lot) just have a motor mouth and love chatting!

 

Reading these forums at times often brings a smile to my face! So, cheers to all! :wubclub:

 

Glad to hear it Kiwi. There's some lovely people on PIO and we do our best to have a laugh….at times! :wink:

[kiwiathome]

Of course! I have started a new thread on this "chat and news " site forum. Got moved there. Just saying if you have any medical issue, or just need support. go! I am fighting a few battles, but also past qualified in medical and currently studying.

 

Someone on this forum said something really nice to me, I not know how to do "likes, but they said "kiwi in aus - genuine" . I hv been back tracking and can't find out who said this. Would like to say cheers sooner than later. Anyone can help?

 

 

 

1

[Toussaint]

Oi!, no more 'likes' for you sunshine if that's the cut of your jib! :mad:

 

I nearly got involved in this spat, I'm now so glad I didn't as there would only be one loser when coming Inbetween an old married bickering couple!!

[LostMyWay]

Hi Endless Winter, looks like you've had plenty of response but thought I chip in with my experience! I'm trying not to waffle as I have a habit of doing that!

 

My hubby and I returned to England winter 2011 and lasted 7 months! I think we regretted the decision before we got on the plane but by that point it was too late! Hubby hated it as soon as we landed and sunk into a depression! I wanted to be back in Aus too but was determined that we had to give it ago, that last 2-3 months until I gave into his relentless moaning and so we jumped straight back on a plane back to Aus! We are now in the process of trying to return to England again! From my experience I think there are certain things that contribute to the success of settling back home:

 

1) We were impulsive, we literally decided we were going home and 4 weeks later we were jobless, homeless and on a plane. I would advise anyone to really plan the trip back....like when we planned coming to Aus it took us a year!

 

2) Having said that we went home on an idea that England would suit us better in the future not for what our current situation was-We had decided to go home thinking it was where we wanted to raise are children. At the time of this decision we were childless and probably not quite ready to start a family. We were very social, going out 3-4 times a week and we returned to a sleepy town with no night life. That was hard for us. My advice to anyone thinking about the move would be to go for reasons that suit your situation now not next year etc.

 

3) We didn't give it time. We landed and straight away decided we wanted to be back in Aus. Flip the coin....I was homesick from the moment I landed in Australia and hubby put his foot down and said we had to give it 2 years. I don't know why we didn't apply that logic when we were in England?! I think because it's 'home' you assume that you will just slip back into life but home really has been Aus, so of course there is going to be an adjustment period! I really wish we'd given it more time because we would be settled by now I've no doubt. We are now, fast forward 3 years, in the situation we had pre-emptied when we decided to move home...we have a family and want to raise our family in England!

 

I am confident that we will settle in England this time. I have no illusions that life will be better, just perhaps easier. I of course expect there will be times when I notice big differences between the countries, especially as we are moving from metropolitan Melbourne to a very backwards farming county! I also think we are cursed, I don't think I will ever feel like i belong completely In one country but I hope I can put my children first and forfeit my desires for my children's stability and security.

 

Hope that helps a little?!

[fifi69]

It does take guts n determination to settle anywhere new...

 

but if that new place doesn't rock your boat, then head back.

 

hard settling back though if you have itchy feet and know there is a different world outside of blighty.

 

Or you can just be economic tourists...go where the best live for you is at time

[newjez]

We considered spending 6 months in each country before we retired 12 years ago, but realised after living between 2 countries Brunei and UK, for almost 10 years, I needed to call somewhere "home". It wasn't easy for me to constantly chop and change between 2 different lives, group of friends etc. I needed to feel I had a permanent base.

Our only 2 grandchildren are in UK, so I understand the pull, but in our case we now unexpectedly have more family here, so usually go back to UK for at least 2 months most years. We have property in UK, and originally thought we would go back between tenants, but to be honest that hasn't happened as the timing never seems right, and we usually have good long term tenants, so don't want to loose them.

also you have to factor in the cost of living between 2 countries? Do you rent each one out when in the other? trust me that can become very trying.

It's almost impossible to get a mortgage in UK when retired, especially if you don't intend living there permanently, so you might need to buy out right?

short term accomodation is hard find though when we go back, this year we are using airbnb, will see how that works out.

 

Hope this doesn't come across as too negative, just thought it would be interesting for others to post our experience.

 

We know there are a lot of the finer details still to work-out/consider and things will no doubt change over the next 5 years, but we were thinking of buying outright, downsizing here at present and use that money plus extra from here if needed, and can still pay off any mortgage whilst working, rent out between now and retirement. Also was thinking of maybe making both homes available to migrating, ping/pong poms for short periods, basically to cover rates.

We do not have short term accommodation problems at present (six weeks coming up in a couple of weeks) but for the longer term of 5-6 months we would really want a home. There is also a car to sort out too...............too much to think about at present, only wishful dreaming!

 

 

I'm confused now? I didn't think you had gone to aust, but now you say you live there? I must be confusing you with someone with a similar name! Bear with me, I'm sure I'll work it out sooner or later.

[fifi69]

We know there are a lot of the finer details still to work-out/consider and things will no doubt change over the next 5 years, but we were thinking of buying outright, downsizing here at present and use that money plus extra from here if needed, and can still pay off any mortgage whilst working, rent out between now and retirement. Also was thinking of maybe making both homes available to migrating, ping/pong poms for short periods, basically to cover rates.

We do not have short term accommodation problems at present (six weeks coming up in a couple of weeks) but for the longer term of 5-6 months we would really want a home. There is also a car to sort out too...............too much to think about at present, only wishful dreaming!

 

 

I'm confused now? I didn't think you had gone to aust, but now you say you live there? I must be confusing you with someone with a similar name! Bear with me, I'm sure I'll work it out sooner or later.

 

Haha..think your long term plan is like ours..but the other way around :eek:

[Guest]

Hi Endless Winter, looks like you've had plenty of response but thought I chip in with my experience! I'm trying not to waffle as I have a habit of doing that!

 

My hubby and I returned to England winter 2011 and lasted 7 months! I think we regretted the decision before we got on the plane but by that point it was too late! Hubby hated it as soon as we landed and sunk into a depression! I wanted to be back in Aus too but was determined that we had to give it ago, that last 2-3 months until I gave into his relentless moaning and so we jumped straight back on a plane back to Aus! We are now in the process of trying to return to England again! From my experience I think there are certain things that contribute to the success of settling back home:

 

1) We were impulsive, we literally decided we were going home and 4 weeks later we were jobless, homeless and on a plane. I would advise anyone to really plan the trip back....like when we planned coming to Aus it took us a year!

 

2) Having said that we went home on an idea that England would suit us better in the future not for what our current situation was-We had decided to go home thinking it was where we wanted to raise are children. At the time of this decision we were childless and probably not quite ready to start a family. We were very social, going out 3-4 times a week and we returned to a sleepy town with no night life. That was hard for us. My advice to anyone thinking about the move would be to go for reasons that suit your situation now not next year etc.

 

3) We didn't give it time. We landed and straight away decided we wanted to be back in Aus. Flip the coin....I was homesick from the moment I landed in Australia and hubby put his foot down and said we had to give it 2 years. I don't know why we didn't apply that logic when we were in England?! I think because it's 'home' you assume that you will just slip back into life but home really has been Aus, so of course there is going to be an adjustment period! I really wish we'd given it more time because we would be settled by now I've no doubt. We are now, fast forward 3 years, in the situation we had pre-emptied when we decided to move home...we have a family and want to raise our family in England!

 

I am confident that we will settle in England this time. I have no illusions that life will be better, just perhaps easier. I of course expect there will be times when I notice big differences between the countries, especially as we are moving from metropolitan Melbourne to a very backwards farming county! I also think we are cursed, I don't think I will ever feel like i belong completely In one country but I hope I can put my children first and forfeit my desires for my children's stability and security.

 

Hope that helps a little?!

 

 

Have you thought about moving to a different part of the UK? It's such a small place that pretty much ever kind of place from rural back water to metropolitan city is available within a couple of hours drive. It might be a compromise that give you everything you desire?

[Bungo]

Hi Endless Winter, looks like you've had plenty of response but thought I chip in with my experience! I'm trying not to waffle as I have a habit of doing that!

 

My hubby and I returned to England winter 2011 and lasted 7 months! I think we regretted the decision before we got on the plane but by that point it was too late! Hubby hated it as soon as we landed and sunk into a depression! I wanted to be back in Aus too but was determined that we had to give it ago, that last 2-3 months until I gave into his relentless moaning and so we jumped straight back on a plane back to Aus! We are now in the process of trying to return to England again! From my experience I think there are certain things that contribute to the success of settling back home:

 

1) We were impulsive, we literally decided we were going home and 4 weeks later we were jobless, homeless and on a plane. I would advise anyone to really plan the trip back....like when we planned coming to Aus it took us a year!

 

2) Having said that we went home on an idea that England would suit us better in the future not for what our current situation was-We had decided to go home thinking it was where we wanted to raise are children. At the time of this decision we were childless and probably not quite ready to start a family. We were very social, going out 3-4 times a week and we returned to a sleepy town with no night life. That was hard for us. My advice to anyone thinking about the move would be to go for reasons that suit your situation now not next year etc.

 

3) We didn't give it time. We landed and straight away decided we wanted to be back in Aus. Flip the coin....I was homesick from the moment I landed in Australia and hubby put his foot down and said we had to give it 2 years. I don't know why we didn't apply that logic when we were in England?! I think because it's 'home' you assume that you will just slip back into life but home really has been Aus, so of course there is going to be an adjustment period! I really wish we'd given it more time because we would be settled by now I've no doubt. We are now, fast forward 3 years, in the situation we had pre-emptied when we decided to move home...we have a family and want to raise our family in England!

 

I am confident that we will settle in England this time. I have no illusions that life will be better, just perhaps easier. I of course expect there will be times when I notice big differences between the countries, especially as we are moving from metropolitan Melbourne to a very backwards farming county! I also think we are cursed, I don't think I will ever feel like i belong completely In one country but I hope I can put my children first and forfeit my desires for my children's stability and security.

 

Hope that helps a little?!

 

I think your point number 1 is spot on. Allowing yourself time to plan is also time to validate the decision, get comfortable with it or indeed change your mind and just get your head around it. We first entertained the idea in September, as just a "maybe" and then moved in January. It is nice to have those last few months to, you can use the time to do things you always wanted to and it provides some closure.

[LostMyWay]

Have you thought about moving to a different part of the UK? It's such a small place that pretty much ever kind of place from rural back water to metropolitan city is available within a couple of hours drive. It might be a compromise that give you everything you desire?

 

 

Actually, what really made the fail for us back in 2011 was my hubby could only find work in Birmingham and I could only find work in my hometown. We married in the August in Aus and then by January he was living in Birmingham and I moved back in with my mum so I could get to work! Not a great start to our marriage! He lived there by himself just waiting for me to come back at the weekend!

 

It was a culture shock going from the city to the country, but as I said before that was 3-4 years ago and we weren't ready for that. Now we are done with what the city has to offer us and are looking forward to a quiet life in the country with our family. We have both agreed that we don't want to live anywhere else in England, even though we are both certain there will be times when we think "what on earth...?"!! We live in a crappy, faceless suburb outside the city now so we may as well live in our crappy village where we at least have a connection to!

 

I think ultimately for us, it was the wrong time in our lives to go back to the UK. In hindsight we should have waited longer to make the move!

[starlight7]

A lot of interesting comments on here- makes me realise that we were so very lucky to have met some good people and find a nice place to live when we first got here. It could have been a whole different story.

[Guest]

Hi Endless Winter, looks like you've had plenty of response but thought I chip in with my experience! I'm trying not to waffle as I have a habit of doing that!

 

My hubby and I returned to England winter 2011 and lasted 7 months! I think we regretted the decision before we got on the plane but by that point it was too late! Hubby hated it as soon as we landed and sunk into a depression! I wanted to be back in Aus too but was determined that we had to give it ago, that last 2-3 months until I gave into his relentless moaning and so we jumped straight back on a plane back to Aus! We are now in the process of trying to return to England again! From my experience I think there are certain things that contribute to the success of settling back home:

 

1) We were impulsive, we literally decided we were going home and 4 weeks later we were jobless, homeless and on a plane. I would advise anyone to really plan the trip back....like when we planned coming to Aus it took us a year!

 

2) Having said that we went home on an idea that England would suit us better in the future not for what our current situation was-We had decided to go home thinking it was where we wanted to raise are children. At the time of this decision we were childless and probably not quite ready to start a family. We were very social, going out 3-4 times a week and we returned to a sleepy town with no night life. That was hard for us. My advice to anyone thinking about the move would be to go for reasons that suit your situation now not next year etc.

 

3) We didn't give it time. We landed and straight away decided we wanted to be back in Aus. Flip the coin....I was homesick from the moment I landed in Australia and hubby put his foot down and said we had to give it 2 years. I don't know why we didn't apply that logic when we were in England?! I think because it's 'home' you assume that you will just slip back into life but home really has been Aus, so of course there is going to be an adjustment period! I really wish we'd given it more time because we would be settled by now I've no doubt. We are now, fast forward 3 years, in the situation we had pre-emptied when we decided to move home...we have a family and want to raise our family in England!

 

I am confident that we will settle in England this time. I have no illusions that life will be better, just perhaps easier. I of course expect there will be times when I notice big differences between the countries, especially as we are moving from metropolitan Melbourne to a very backwards farming county! I also think we are cursed, I don't think I will ever feel like i belong completely In one country but I hope I can put my children first and forfeit my desires for my children's stability and security.

 

Hope that helps a little?!

 

Great post (and username by the way :smile:). I mentioned a few posts ago how I feel that we need to be pragmatic in making the final decision whether to go home or not. So I absolutely get your reference to being impulsive and how destructive it can be. Even after nearly seven years here I still feel the emotional urge to 'flee' Australia, but that's balanced against the need to have a place in the UK to move to that we all want to live in and where we can get work and access to a decent school. Really hope that it works for you as a family this time around. Best of luck!

[HappyHeart]

A lot of interesting comments on here- makes me realise that we were so very lucky to have met some good people and find a nice place to live when we first got here. It could have been a whole different story.

 

This thread makes me realise how different an experience it is for others. Myself, I have absolutely no desire to go back (for a visit) anytime in the next ten years.....I just feel our last trip really hammered home everything I was romanticising about being very run of the mill. I can replace everything here in Australia and after nearly 7 years here feel more deeply attached to Perth than where I came from. I guess you build a new life...not that I didn't like the UK, but our second trip back was not all I thought it would be.....already told OH next time we're going in June...for my birthday and better weather.

[ramot]

We know there are a lot of the finer details still to work-out/consider and things will no doubt change over the next 5 years, but we were thinking of buying outright, downsizing here at present and use that money plus extra from here if needed, and can still pay off any mortgage whilst working, rent out between now and retirement. Also was thinking of maybe making both homes available to migrating, ping/pong poms for short periods, basically to cover rates.

We do not have short term accommodation problems at present (six weeks coming up in a couple of weeks) but for the longer term of 5-6 months we would really want a home. There is also a car to sort out too...............too much to think about at present, only wishful dreaming!

 

 

I'm confused now? I didn't think you had gone to aust, but now you say you live there? I must be confusing you with someone with a similar name! Bear with me, I'm sure I'll work it out sooner or later.

 

Some how the posts have got mixed up as the post referring to Brunei was posted by me, Ramot Hope that helps sort the confusion.

[Guest]

This thread makes me realise how different an experience it is for others. Myself, I have absolutely no desire to go back (for a visit) anytime in the next ten years.....I just feel our last trip really hammered home everything I was romanticising about being very run of the mill. I can replace everything here in Australia and after nearly 7 years here feel more deeply attached to Perth than where I came from. I guess you build a new life...not that I didn't like the UK, but our second trip back was not all I thought it would be.....already told OH next time we're going in June...for my birthday and better weather.

 

I must admit to being deeply envious when I read posts like yours HH. The fact that you've made that connection with the place and that it comfortably feels like home. Don't get me wrong, I cope with life here much better than I did in the early years, but homesickness is an ever-present with me. It can strike in the strangest of ways too. Yesterday I was out running and I heard a big roar come up from the MCG as there must have been a big rugby game on or something. Immediately my mind went back to times back home when I'd hear a similar roar from a football ground when someone had scored, only to come back to the moment and realize where I was. Later that afternoon there were people going past the house wearing scarves and replica shirts, but for teams I'd never heard of. I know that that sounds silly, but nearly seven years in little things like that still trip me up, whereas if I belonged here I'd probably have been at the match myself. :smile:

[HappyHeart]

I must admit to being deeply envious when I read posts like yours HH. The fact that you've made that connection with the place and that it comfortably feels like home. Don't get me wrong, I cope with life here much better than I did in the early years, but homesickness is an ever-present with me. It can strike in the strangest of ways too. Yesterday I was out running and I heard a big roar come up from the MCG as there must have been a big rugby game on or something. Immediately my mind went back to times back home when I'd hear a similar roar from a football ground when someone had scored, only to come back to the moment and realize where I was. Later that afternoon there were people going past the house wearing scarves and replica shirts, but for teams I'd never heard of. I know that that sounds silly, but nearly seven years in little things like that still trip me up, whereas if I belonged here I'd probably have been at the match myself. :smile:

 

I can't empathise with those actual feelings EW but I know how I've felt at times of personal struggle when a dose of something from the UK might make me feel better. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's about more than the place? I know I am truly looking forward to Christmas here this year because Christmas back in the UK just made me miss Christmas here? Fickle hey? Maybe it's about being in a place you feel safe and content and most of your immediate needs are met? I can't replace my friends and family but all the other stuff I can and have. It's maybe a transition...a process....whatever happens for you and yours I wish you only happiness.

[Guest]

I can't empathise with those actual feelings EW but I know how I've felt at times of personal struggle when a dose of something from the UK might make me feel better. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it's about more than the place? I know I am truly looking forward to Christmas here this year because Christmas back in the UK just made me miss Christmas here? Fickle hey? Maybe it's about being in a place you feel safe and content and most of your immediate needs are met? I can't replace my friends and family but all the other stuff I can and have. It's maybe a transition...a process....whatever happens for you and yours I wish you only happiness.

 

Thanks mate. Always good to read your take on things. For me, it's the physical environment and the culture nearly as much as it is the people. I do need to keep reminding myself that we're doing alright here and not get too hung up on getting home, but sometimes the emotions just get in the way! :smile:

[Perthbum]

I think the UK is getting better and better as I get older to be honest. I still have itchy feet and would like to live in other Countries for a while but no matter where I live or visit the pull of the UK and all it has to offer wins out.

[Shellybingobingo]

Well 2weeks in tomoz for me in UK , I could settle back in I feel I am where I belong , I feel normal , although I'm not normal but that's another story haha I am having a ball , shopping , off out , going see my friends next week , sons back on nights tonight after two weeks off , I could quite easily slip back in no problem . However I'm not so sure about something's so I still unsure for everyone else ! I just don't know ! And I probably won't by the end of my trip lol , I'm fly back in a months time to qld spend 3 weeks in qld then fly out to Perth to my hubby stuff it I just don't know where to sit lol

[Chortlepuss]

I too have envy for those that have settled and made close friends, but I do feel I have tried pretty hard on the social front so maybe just a bit unlucky but also too attached to friends and family back home. As I get older I miss the feeling of safety and security of being amongst supportive people whereas the younger me didn't care so much. The weather is less important to me now and I miss seasons and central heating! Grass is always greener! Difficult time of year here in Brissie where the dark evenings make me miss the long summer days of UK. For my hubby, the fact that the weather here is so much better is really important to him and he doesn't care less about the isolation or missing people and things... I wish I wasn't so homesick, it really feels like living in limbo.

[grahamffc]

The above post sums up a lot of feelings I have.

 

The grass is always greener. I wasn't ready to leave London when I did and this made it very difficult to settle in Melbourne. A big thing for me was that I felt so removed from my friends at home getting on with their lives. I eventually made some done really good friends in Melbourne mainiy through playing cricket and miss that massively when it was winter here seeing them all talk about their games on Facebook. But on balance I probably struggled more over there.

 

Being in limbo was another huge factor. From before I left for MelbourneI was telling myself it's only for a year or two then I'll come home. This made life very difficult. I hardih bought anything like clothes etc because I had in my mind that I might not be there in six months and would either have to pay to ship it or give it away. I could never plan more than six months into the future. On balance I tell I've done myself a big favour in the long run. I needed to come back to finish qualifications which I am doing and if I do decide to go back before my PR expires I will not only be more qualified but I will know what to expect and more likely to settle from day one. I'd hope anyway!

[Quinkla]

I must admit to being deeply envious when I read posts like yours HH. The fact that you've made that connection with the place and that it comfortably feels like home. Don't get me wrong, I cope with life here much better than I did in the early years, but homesickness is an ever-present with me.

Many years ago, I moved to Belfast from England. I didn’t settle; I found it hard to make friends and I used to see London on TV and it looked very lively and happening. I told myself that if only I lived in London – or anywhere back in England – everything would be happy. After six years, I did move to London and it was not how I imagined. England had changed whilst I was away, and the romanticised image I had of it was way wrong. I realised that actually I had made friends in Belfast, was settled there and desperately wanted to go back. I realised too that as a migrant, I had committed myself to a lifetime of always feeling a bit dislocated. I would never again be able to call anywhere truly home.

Subsequently I moved to Scotland – loved it – and then moved to Melbourne. Moving to Australia was harder but on balance, it does feel like home. At least, more like home than Scotland, Northern Ireland or England. Driving around at the weekend, passing gum trees, seeing traffic lights going red to green, seeing people in parks playing AFL, going to the gym, coming in on the train to Melbourne – it all feels normal. I don’t love everything about Australia, about my life, about my work – but my inclination now is to think of ways to fix it rather than escape it. Does that make sense?

The point I would emphasize, though, is that once you are a migrant, you will always, always have a feeling of unsettlement and dislocation.

[Johndoe]

Of late, I am feeling like I could move back tomorrow. This has nothing to do with Oz or Australians but more about age and the collapse of a 30yr marriage I guess. There's nothing here to hold me now other than my 2 younger sons, one of whom would love to live in the UK and the other who is taking a year out from Uni shortly to go there anyway. I have 3 older boys back there, one of whom would bend over backwards to extend his house and build a "granny flat" for me but I couldn't live on the UK pension and it is highly doubtful that we could secure work for Jake who is autistic.

 

So, I am held here by a better pension and by Jake's employment which is secure. It has often been said on this forum, to those who say that they will live their days out here, "never say never" but OTOH, for some, such as those divorced with kids who's ex will not grant permission for the kids to leave, or, under other circumstances similar to mine, it seems that there is no alternative but to live your days out here. Not that it's such a bad thing (for us) I'm simply thinking out loud so potential migrants may consider circumstances that they may not be aware of or consider.................your life circumstances can change dramatically and irrevocably and one should be prepared for those eventualities when considering migration, or even returning to the UK, if it comes to that.

[Guest]

I too have envy for those that have settled and made close friends, but I do feel I have tried pretty hard on the social front so maybe just a bit unlucky but also too attached to friends and family back home. As I get older I miss the feeling of safety and security of being amongst supportive people whereas the younger me didn't care so much. The weather is less important to me now and I miss seasons and central heating! Grass is always greener! Difficult time of year here in Brissie where the dark evenings make me miss the long summer days of UK. For my hubby, the fact that the weather here is so much better is really important to him and he doesn't care less about the isolation or missing people and things... I wish I wasn't so homesick, it really feels like living in limbo.

 

The part of your post that I've marked in bold describes me to a 'T.' I've always been close to my family, and with an elderly father who has not been in the best health, those ties remain as strong as ever. Also, I was 40 coming out here and that didn't help funnily enough, as I was too set in my ways. How long have you been in Australia Chortlepuss?