JonCooper2 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I've lived in Australia for 8 years, and it just struck me one day that I couldn't live here anymore. It's hard to put a finger on it, but my wife and I went to New York on holiday which changed our feelings. Once we came back, it was all seemed so slow, close-minded, stagnant and really hit home what was important. Would love to know everyone's thoughts on why, or the exact moment, they decided to make the decision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Probably every time I went abroad it took time to readjust to being back for reasons given. Doesn't mean don't want to live here for now just a reality check on what am missing. Further thoughts perhaps a little further down the track tend to readdress the reasons am where am at the moment and the reasoning behind that. Not forever hopefully though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I had a panic attack!! It was December 2013, I was having breakfast with my baby girl & it hit me, what the hell am I doing here. I went for a run to see whether that helped & it didn't. So I sat down & wrote all my thoughts & feelings down about why I was like this. Stroll on to this current day I leave oz on the 26th April & I'm probably the happiest I've been for a long time. I don't ffeel sick anymore which is a bonus & iI'm excited about my next chapter!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellyjamie Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 following this with interest as im the same just now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliedec Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Last year when I got a call back from mammogram .. biopsy results clear . thank God. made me realized how alone I was .even with my husband .. we were never going to stay forever, but preparing to go home to Ireland later this year ... couldn't be happier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 The actual moment was when my dad was taken to hospital with a stroke in 2011 and I knew I wouldn't return from the holiday I was then enjoying. Before that though, for about 10 years I knew that I couldn't stand Australia any more - I came to loathe it, there was nothing there that was "me". I was an alien in an alien land even though I had lived there happily for about 20 years, but I never belonged. My head told me it was "home" but it never was. I suppose I would have been about 50 at the time and the thought of growing old and meandering aimlessly into the nursing home in Aus filled me with dread. So I guess you'd have to say that there is a silver lining to every cloud - my totally intransigent Aussie husband took one look at my parents and said "we need to be here for them" despite having said, for years that if he had to live in UK he would be depressed as I then was at being stuck in Aus. We are still here 3.5 years later and DH said to me this morning before leaving Aus after his annual holiday - "it'll be so nice to be home with you again!" This year he even said that he didn't need a 6 week holiday, 3 weeks will do. Our situation is such that I have agreed to return to Aus when we are no longer needed here (that's only fair) and I can look forward to it with a bit more equanimity now that he has also backed down and promised air conditioning in our house LOL but meanwhile I am living life and having a ball and don't want it to end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FTA Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I've lived in Australia for 8 years, and it just struck me one day that I couldn't live here anymore. It's hard to put a finger on it, but my wife and I went to New York on holiday which changed our feelings. Once we came back, it was all seemed so slow, close-minded, stagnant and really hit home what was important. I am still waiting for the lightbulb moment when I want to move back to Australia. I think it will be to retire, since all of what you mentioned are good qualities for an old person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huggy75 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 My first moment came halfway through my pregnancy in 2013 when I just felt that I needed to be home with my Mum - of course everyone told me it was the hormones talking so I carried on and tried to put the feelings to the back of my mind. The feelings never went away and the next moment came on my Son's first birthday when he spent it with just me and his Dad - I swore then that he wouldn't have such lonely birthdays and Christmases again. We're moving back in May/June. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3FatCats Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 As soon as I stepped off the plane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 The actual moment was when my dad was taken to hospital with a stroke in 2011 and I knew I wouldn't return from the holiday I was then enjoying. Before that though, for about 10 years I knew that I couldn't stand Australia any more - I came to loathe it, there was nothing there that was "me". I was an alien in an alien land even though I had lived there happily for about 20 years, but I never belonged. My head told me it was "home" but it never was. I suppose I would have been about 50 at the time and the thought of growing old and meandering aimlessly into the nursing home in Aus filled me with dread. So I guess you'd have to say that there is a silver lining to every cloud - my totally intransigent Aussie husband took one look at my parents and said "we need to be here for them" despite having said, for years that if he had to live in UK he would be depressed as I then was at being stuck in Aus. We are still here 3.5 years later and DH said to me this morning before leaving Aus after his annual holiday - "it'll be so nice to be home with you again!" This year he even said that he didn't need a 6 week holiday, 3 weeks will do. Our situation is such that I have agreed to return to Aus when we are no longer needed here (that's only fair) and I can look forward to it with a bit more equanimity now that he has also backed down and promised air conditioning in our house LOL but meanwhile I am living life and having a ball and don't want it to end! I'm wondering though Quoll,how would feel staying the the UK,if the doors ( I know they won't)closed for you to return to Australia?How would feel then?Maybe you're enjoying the UK so much because you know you won't be here forever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I'm wondering though Quoll,how would feel staying the the UK,if the doors ( I know they won't)closed for you to return to Australia?How would feel then?Maybe you're enjoying the UK so much because you know you won't be here forever? Dont think so, although freedom to come and go certainly helps one cope with what one has. I guess there would be some ambivalence because I have grandkids in both places but if you said to me that I had to choose - well, I would choose DH because my life with him no matter where is better than life without him! I don't think I would cry buckets if I couldn't return to Aus but I would definitely cry a lot if I could never return to UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob64 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 It was after about two years that we felt the isolation and insularity. No regrets been back in the U.K. for over three years, our five children enjoyed the experience and I' m sure will visit back one day ! We really appreciate what the uk has to offer ! Culture; history and the usual cliches of a decent pint ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bora Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I think two things culminated in my return. Firstly, I was ever 'set' properly - by this I mean my unhappiness is OZ grew at a faster rate than I was ever able to settle, so I was on a hiding to nothing. I was rushed there, my Mother was poorly, I had been diagnosed with Cealiac disease THREE days before I flew (a life changing event in itself), spent nearly 2 months there on my own while my Wife and Kids remained in the UK, had to travel to the U.S to meet my family for our Hols, bring them back to everything I had set up, house, Car, Schools, went back to UK four months later for a Wedding................came back .......I was absolutely shattered. Didn't enjoy my job although I loved the company, didn;t feel at home where we lived, Son was suffering at School. Secondly, and more tellingly, I realised the things that were important to me years ago which drove my desire to go for 'this better life (whatever that means...), the Sun, Space etc etc" ----were no longer important to me. I just didn;t realise it as I was (in my own admission) blindsighted and determined to achieve my dream. A painful end was better than endless pain. The biggest single thing I've learnt from this experience, is that a rules player also knows when to say NO (in any hyperthetical situation), and that Utopia only exists in the mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bora Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I had a panic attack!! It was December 2013, I was having breakfast with my baby girl & it hit me, what the hell am I doing here. I went for a run to see whether that helped & it didn't. So I sat down & wrote all my thoughts & feelings down about why I was like this. Stroll on to this current day I leave oz on the 26th April & I'm probably the happiest I've been for a long time. I don't ffeel sick anymore which is a bonus & iI'm excited about my next chapter!! Wait till you get home Helz - I think you'll feel happiness you never thought existed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Wait till you get home Helz - I think you'll feel happiness you never thought existed. Not everyone but many see the UK in a different light when returning, they appreciate the little things they took for granted like the song of the blackbird, the 4 seasons the history the people, for some not all of course returning after living abroad make the rest of their lives in the UK bliss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helz980 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Wait till you get home Helz - I think you'll feel happiness you never thought existed. I think so too!!! I've got butterflies just thinking about it!! It's also meant iim enjoying my last few weeks here xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I think so too!!! I've got butterflies just thinking about it!! It's also meant iim enjoying my last few weeks here xx Woo hoo! The kettle's on! :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JockinTas Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I only have one sister in the UK now. I'm not close to my cousins or other extended family members so I don't travel back to the UK much anymore. I'm hoping to go back in the next few months to see my sister though. Australia is my home now but I could just as easily live in New Zealand or Canada. I had my green card in the 70's and lived in the US for nearly 3 years but I never felt at home there. It was more like an extended holiday and I was happy to return to Scotland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianaussie Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I arrived on a WHV and loved it. Within months I had applied for a permanent visa. However, I think I rushed things. I've been here just over 3 years now and I'm 'over' it. I appreciate the weather and space but I'm fed up with the isolation, expense (of housing mostly) and what I feel is a lack of a future here. I also deal with the general public at work and find the Aussie public exhausting. (They just won't stop talking about irrelevant information!! Just stop talking!!! Endearing at first but has recently become a real grind) I think I first started to feel like this after about a year and a half. The honeymoon phase had worn off and after an extended UK visit it confirmed what I have been thinking. 7 months to citizenship and then I'm gone. Still wondering if I can last that long!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perthbum Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I arrived on a WHV and loved it. Within months I had applied for a permanent visa. However, I think I rushed things. I've been here just over 3 years now and I'm 'over' it. I appreciate the weather and space but I'm fed up with the isolation, expense (of housing mostly) and what I feel is a lack of a future here. I also deal with the general public at work and find the Aussie public exhausting. (They just won't stop talking about irrelevant information!! Just stop talking!!! Endearing at first but has recently become a real grind) I think I first started to feel like this after about a year and a half. The honeymoon phase had worn off and after an extended UK visit it confirmed what I have been thinking. 7 months to citizenship and then I'm gone. Still wondering if I can last that long!! :laugh: spot on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bora Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Not everyone but many see the UK in a different light when returning, they appreciate the little things they took for granted like the song of the blackbird, the 4 seasons the history the people, for some not all of course returning after living abroad make the rest of their lives in the UK bliss. True - and after full circle it also changes you as a person, and for me, much the better. I see it in little instances that shape my day. I think different, hold myself differently, I can't put my finger it. More AWARE, intuitive, worldly and engaged with my environment....stuff like that. Like yesterday, walking home from work. I pre-empted the danger a little old lady was about to put herself into. Stuff above kicked in. Like my brain could see the consequences long before it happened. And as the Car stopped to let her over the road on a two lane road at what appears to be a Zebra crossing (but it isn't - the driver was just being nice).......I could see a Car coming along in the second lane that the old lady could not have seen, nor it see her ....so I darted to her....and kind of held her arm and said just stop for a sec ..... as the Car screeched to a halt as he saw me appear from nowhere. No drama or harm done, all was well and she thanked me....we happened to be walking in the same direction for about half a mile, and we chatted, and she told me epic stories of the War and how warm the Sun felt on her back, and how grateful she was she could still walk about the Town, and how she had lived here for 10 years after moving from Essex and I called her an Essex girl!, and I told her I moved from Essex to here and then went to OZ and now I'm back, and she said there's just no place like it is there (here, not Essex!). She looked up at me with a big pair of watery old eyes as she blew her nose into a flowery handkerchief and she bid me a fond farewell .................It made my day and made me feel alive that I had such an engaging conversation with a complete stranger. I never appreciated stuff like this until I returned home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul johnson Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 hi to you all , im on my husbands thread , weve been here 7 years been bk to live for 6 months came bk in january 2011, were hoping to go home this augest , just carnt get over missing family friends and feeling just lonely ? . very worried going bk no were to live yet and jobs , but on the other hand carnt wait to get on the plane , were hoping to take are dogs bk as they have keep me going here. what a journey we have had lots of downs and ups but its time for us to go home :wink:. any help and advice would be gratefull liz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy1 Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I've lived in Australia for 8 years, and it just struck me one day that I couldn't live here anymore. It's hard to put a finger on it, but my wife and I went to New York on holiday which changed our feelings. Once we came back, it was all seemed so slow, close-minded, stagnant and really hit home what was important. Would love to know everyone's thoughts on why, or the exact moment, they decided to make the decision. I decided I needed to move home 10 years ago. However, wanting to and being able to, are different things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flag of convenience Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 True - and after full circle it also changes you as a person, and for me, much the better. I see it in little instances that shape my day. I think different, hold myself differently, I can't put my finger it. More AWARE, intuitive, worldly and engaged with my environment....stuff like that. Like yesterday, walking home from work. I pre-empted the danger a little old lady was about to put herself into. Stuff above kicked in. Like my brain could see the consequences long before it happened. And as the Car stopped to let her over the road on a two lane road at what appears to be a Zebra crossing (but it isn't - the driver was just being nice).......I could see a Car coming along in the second lane that the old lady could not have seen, nor it see her ....so I darted to her....and kind of held her arm and said just stop for a sec ..... as the Car screeched to a halt as he saw me appear from nowhere. No drama or harm done, all was well and she thanked me....we happened to be walking in the same direction for about half a mile, and we chatted, and she told me epic stories of the War and how warm the Sun felt on her back, and how grateful she was she could still walk about the Town, and how she had lived here for 10 years after moving from Essex and I called her an Essex girl!, and I told her I moved from Essex to here and then went to OZ and now I'm back, and she said there's just no place like it is there (here, not Essex!). She looked up at me with a big pair of watery old eyes as she blew her nose into a flowery handkerchief and she bid me a fond farewell .................It made my day and made me feel alive that I had such an engaging conversation with a complete stranger. I never appreciated stuff like this until I returned home. ah, an engaging conversation with a stranger. How nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BacktoDemocracy Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I arrived on a WHV and loved it. Within months I had applied for a permanent visa. However, I think I rushed things. I've been here just over 3 years now and I'm 'over' it. I appreciate the weather and space but I'm fed up with the isolation, expense (of housing mostly) and what I feel is a lack of a future here. I also deal with the general public at work and find the Aussie public exhausting. (They just won't stop talking about irrelevant information!! Just stop talking!!! Endearing at first but has recently become a real grind) I think I first started to feel like this after about a year and a half. The honeymoon phase had worn off and after an extended UK visit it confirmed what I have been thinking. 7 months to citizenship and then I'm gone. Still wondering if I can last that long!! Just hang on in there, start making arrangements now to go back and the time will fly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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