Kellie23 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 We are a week away from getting on a plane and embarking on our new life on the Gold Coast. I should be really happy, excited etc etc. This is everything we have worked towards. Cost of visas, the trip to Aus, left jobs, sold house blah blah blah. Then comes the goodbyes! BANG that hits you like a truck. Anyone considering this huge move do not underestimate how hard this is! Taking kids away from their grandparents and seeing the pain on their faces and in their eyes is so hard to watch. Of course we knew this would be the hardest part of all but even we didn't realise just how hard. Feel terrible Sorry for such a rubbish post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARYROSE02 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 It is not a rubbish post! Sad perhaps but you are speaking from the heart. I can still see my Nana holding my Mum's arm at Gatwick when I left. I never saw her again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fifi69 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 :hug: Sometimes in all the excitement and planning of moving forward we forget what we will be leaving behind. Its very close to your actual move date, all sort of emotions will hit in. You wouldn't be human if you Didnt feel anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyk666 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 We are 5 weeks away from leaving and I am dreading it. Thankfully my parents have already booked flights to visit in January so when we say bye we will know it's only for a few months, I'm hoping this will help a bit. Everyone else I have told I am not saying bye but will say 'speak to you on Saturday' as we will be via FaceTime. I'm not under any illusions that this will not be the most difficult thing I've had to do. I feel for you. And it most certainly is not a rubbish post but is highlighting a very real part of the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgp72 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Very poignant, but remember why you are completing this move...... You are giving yourselves and especially children such a great opportunity. Technology gives you access now like never before to retain contact, although not personal seeing faces on Skype/ Facetime etc will give you a boost. My wife's brother moved around 7/8 years ago so we have been through the process once. I know my wife will still find it emotional when we leave in October we know we are heading for a fabulous new start. I know my boys will miss aspects of their lives in the UK but again there will be so much to occupy them and ourselves/yourselves you will have adapted and adjusted without too much looking over your shoulder! I'm sure you will all have great new lives...............and just think there will be enough alcohol available on a long haul flight to dull the sadness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleks Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 We're dreading it, especially as one set of parents aren't in contact with us anymore since we announced our plans. It's all the different goodbyes, friends, family, colleagues. We have decided to avoid the airport we have done that once before (minus Kids) and it was awful, so would rather depart as a family and think happy thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zk2102 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 We Fly two days. This has been a gut retching week for us for saying goodbye. My sons friend hasn't stopped crying for over a week now. I hate leaving my mum. I'm just glad that I can soften the blow by knowing that I'm coming back for a month in January. its mixed emotions though because we desperately want to get over there to start our new life. We knew it wouldn't be easy but.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zk2102 Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 We are a week away from getting on a plane and embarking on our new life on the Gold Coast. I should be really happy, excited etc etc. This is everything we have worked towards. Cost of visas, the trip to Aus, left jobs, sold house blah blah blah. Then comes the goodbyes! BANG that hits you like a truck. Anyone considering this huge move do not underestimate how hard this is! Taking kids away from their grandparents and seeing the pain on their faces and in their eyes is so hard to watch. Of course we knew this would be the hardest part of all but even we didn't realise just how hard. Feel terrible Sorry for such a rubbish post [/ I'll make sure I'm there for you. Xx:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calNgary Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 The Good byes are horrible and IMO by far the worst part of migrating. We also had family come out to visit in the first 18mths we were here and when it was time for them to go ,it was just as bad to say goodbye all over again. One thing i would advise is Dont do airport goodbyes, say them prior and get a taxi to the airport.. Cal x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
family of five Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 We knew it would be super hard and for the kids to do that then have to fly would be a long 24 hours in the air. Friends had told us how absolutely horrific their goodbyes were so we had a leaving party on the Sunday and told everyone we were flying on the Wednesday, left the party after only one sad moment when the kids saying goodbye to schools friends. Then we left at 6am the next day and called our families once at the airport to tell them. Lots of people said we were mean at the time but later everyone especially the closest family members said it was acyually the best thing we could have done. The kids got on the plane super excited about their new life down under and that's how it should be, you are looking forward when you leave the UK and should not be (too) upset at what you are leaving behind. For us it was the best idea how the kids never told the family I'm not quite sure. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and in our opinion we did not want the whole thing of physically pulling the kids of the family when the time come like some others we knew had. Good luck all Tina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I didn't find the goodbyes so hard for myself, at least not with my parents, I felt it more for them having to wave their grandson off. They are used to seeing me go and my Mum admitted while she would miss me, it was her grandson she was really feeling the wrench over. I understand that. She arrives for a visit in the not too distant future and has been busy buying up the entire contents of Englands shops to bring with her :cute: I never do airport goodbyes. They are not a good thing for anyone and people always end up a mess of snot and tears. Not the best way to hit a 24 hour flight. Always say those a few days before with loved ones so I have time to get back to focusing on the move and the plans for a few days. Its a good distraction. Then before you know it you are at the airport and on the plane. At that point the weight lifts and I tend not to feel sad at all or looking back and begin to look forward only. Its kind of like a switch in me. This time we had a big BBQ for friends and son's schoolfriends and their families. That was about 3 weeks before we left. Of course I still saw many around after that but we didn't really make a thing of it then. With my parents we went down the weekend before we were due to fly out. Left son with them for a couple of nights, Friday and Saturday, while we went and finished up with the house and other things and then spent the day with them on the Sunday. Had lunch out, son had a lovely day also and then we were in the car heading home. Flew out 3 days later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I feel for you; the goodbyes were horrendous from saying goodbye to workmates (who put on an amazing 'do' and speeches and gifts) to the leaving party the next night, to saying goodbye to all my school friends a few days later, to the inlaws a few days after that and then finally my family a few days after that - so many tears over 10 days!! but, when you've done the last goodbye, you will feel a sense of relief. 2 weeks in and the goodbyes were worth it. Skype and messenger have been good, not the same as seeing them, but a good substitute. You our will love it here. Let us know when you arrive and we'll come down and visit :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Goodbyes are a hell of a lot easier when you, and they are still young. When you all start knocking on a bit you get the "will this be the last time?" feelings coming into it and they can be crippling! I never ever ever say goodbye - it's always "See you later" and concur - don't do airport farewells unless you are all incredibly strong. Skype (IMHO) is much overrated and for any migrant dithering about their decision I don't think modern technology helps TBH - it can be like picking at the scab of the life you left behind and hinder integration into a new place - in some ways it was a whole lot easier when phone calls were £1 a minute and aerogrammes took a week to arrive! (I'm a firm believer in out of sight is out of mind!) If you approach it as just another step in your life adventure (I don't get the "new life" bit - same old you!) and remember that nothing is forever and be sure that your passport is current and your credit card can always accommodate a trip back if required and it'll be fine! Sure, you'll probably cry quite a bit more but to be a good migrant you do have to be quite selfish and very self sufficient (quite hard, actually!). It'll be ok once you've arrived and the holes you leave in other people's lives will heal over. good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacaranda Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I'm with Quoll on this one.I recently said goodbye to my Mum in Adelaide,was home for a week,when I got the news she had died.So hard to say goodbye to her as I knew in my heart that would be the last time I would see her,and it was!Skype?From my experience its hit and miss.Had loads of convo's where the audio has broken up,or the picture freezes!So frustrating!I usually end up ringing the person! OP I understand what you're going through,and no one can predict how you'll feel until you're going through it yourself.Try to focus now on the present moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight7 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 It is hard, very upsetting but just think- the world is small these days and they are only a day away- look at it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest241083 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 ........having spent my life leaving people behind...... ........I hear what your saying...... ........but to me it's never goodbye..... ........while you have memories..........shared time... ........people are always with you...... .........I often sit and relive a time that brought me great joy...... .........times spent with people who shared our lives.......keep your memories alive....! ........as others have said...... .........try and keep the possibility of seeing them again a surety..... .........wether this year or on 3/5.........years time..... .........just the fact that's its possible......... .........we walk our journeys ,looking for the best for us and ours....... .........and can't always keep hold of the hands we want to....... ..........but we can always keep them in our hearts.....in our minds....... ..........and it's this that allows us to the freedom to step on a different path......ime... ..........never goodbye.... ..........just till the next time...... ..........good luck to you and yours.......tink X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rikimilton Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Its very close to your actual move date, all sort of emotions will hit in. we wouldn't be human if we Didnt feel anything. very upsetting but the world is small these days and look at it that way. so would rather depart as a family and think happy thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wen66 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 We were hoping (no such chance) we could just go, as our families live in Ireland. But we are under pressure to fly back for a weekend to say our good byes. I am dreading it, to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I dearly love my family but the idea of all that emotion makes me want to run a mile. Between us we have a rather large family! It's going to be a hard one, to be sure. Our friends, here, in the UK, want to throw a party. I like the idea of a BBQ in the garden. Invite all, and keep it fun! We all understand, Kellie. Stay strong, hun. You'll get through it.x:hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisher1 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 We were living in Belgium when our daughter left London. We went over to London the weekend before and had a slap up two days with her. I considered asking for time off work to go over and see her off at the airport, but she told me not to and she was right. As it was she texted me before leaving her flat, again from the airport, then from Kuala Lumpur half way there, then from Sydney when she arrived. It was absolutely right, for me, because the same text on the same phone was just coming from different places. Made me feel better. Curiously, it made me feel better that she was upset when we said goodbye. It sounds ridiculous now, but it sort of convinced me that she did still love us even though she was leaving. Goodbyes are strange, everyone takes it differently. I agree about the airport though - definitely a place to greet people not to leave them. It does get easier but as Quoll pointed out, its harder as we all start to age. My daughter came home for what I knew would be my dad's last Christmas and it was very hard to see her go back that time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tina0101 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Agreed on the airport thing. We stayed the night before, even though Heathrow was only a 40 minute drive from our house. Meant we said our final goodbye at the hotel when we were dropped off and then have the evening to get over it - we felt surprisingly numb after it and the nights sleep really helped for the excitement of getting on the plane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zk2102 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 This is our final night in the UK. Soooo many goodbyes. All made easier that I will see them all (hopefully) again in Jan when I pick my mum up. Staying with our closest friends tonight who are driving us to the airport tomorrow. Been a weird mixture of morose and bursting at the seams excitement. Just can't wait to be on the plane tomorrow and arrive safety on the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramot Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 ........having spent my life leaving people behind..............I hear what your saying...... ........but to me it's never goodbye..... ........while you have memories..........shared time... ........people are always with you...... .........I often sit and relive a time that brought me great joy...... .........times spent with people who shared our lives.......keep your memories alive....! ........as others have said...... .........try and keep the possibility of seeing them again a surety..... .........wether this year or on 3/5.........years time..... .........just the fact that's its possible......... .........we walk our journeys ,looking for the best for us and ours....... .........and can't always keep hold of the hands we want to....... ..........but we can always keep them in our hearts.....in our minds....... ..........and it's this that allows us to the freedom to step on a different path......ime... ..........never goodbye.... ..........just till the next time...... ..........good luck to you and yours.......tink X i'm with Tink on this one. Like her Have moved around most of my life. My mother took my going to Africa on my own when I was in my early 20's in her stride, in the 1960's because we had moved so much, somehow goodbyes were the norm. made so many friends while moving around, and had to get used to being with my mother only occasionally, when in UK. then came the hard part for us, moving to Brunei with all 3 of our children in UK, the youngest 13 and newly at boarding school. Now that was tough, however somehow you sort of get used to airport farewells, as do many expats. in fact there was a good mix of young teenagers of different nationalities there, and they all made a point of seeing each other off at the airport, it was hardest though for the last to leave to go back to school or uni. perhaps it was easier for expats as it was a bit more of the norm, as we were all in the same boat? I think I am one of the older posters here, but want to pick up on the point of our children saying goodbye to older parents. Not saying that we aren't sad, but we cope, mainly because we understand that our children have made their own choices in life, but again it's the same for so many of our friends because of our nomadic life, that perhaps we are more used to it? If possible try to make plans before you leave to either have a family visit planned or if you can afford it a planned trip back in perhaps a couple of years down the road, it does make it feel a bit less final. I feel for you all, and hope the farewells aren't too painful, and wish you all the best for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wen66 Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 This is our final night in the UK. Soooo many goodbyes. All made easier that I will see them all (hopefully) again in Jan when I pick my mum up. Staying with our closest friends tonight who are driving us to the airport tomorrow. Been a weird mixture of morose and bursting at the seams excitement. Just can't wait to be on the plane tomorrow and arrive safety on the other side. Good luck, have a safe trip:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Que Sera Sera Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I think you just have to toughen up and get on with it. I know I sound hard but you've made your decision to live on the other side of the world. If its genuinely too painful then ddon't do it, its not compulsory, don't put yourself through it if you can't cope . I don't Skype because it upsets everyone afterwards. I'm probably hardened due too losing both my parents relatively young. That wasn't a choice I could change. I'm now a Grandparent and my eldest lives in Brisbane we live in Perth so I will only be able to see them twice a year. It is what it is and you have to make the most of what you have. Or just don't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmjg Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 I agree with the airport goodbyes, don't do them! We always say goodbye at the house then get a friend to drop us off at the airport in the uk, no waiting, dump us on the curb. When the in-laws leave here every year (after staying 3 months) the same happens, goodbyes at the house then I drive them to the airport and stop at the curb to let them out. Generally they are happy to see the back of me which helps. The worst thing we did was to have a big goodbye party in the uk on the Saturday then leave the following Thursday. We sat twiddling our thumbs for 4 days, it would have been much better to leave late on the Sunday or early on the Monday. Who cares about screwed up body clocks, they are going to get screwed up anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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