Guest yorkshirepud Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 Havent been on here for so long. This was my life line when we were waiting for visa news, everyone supportive and in the same boat. We've been here a year now and have a two year plan in which to make a decision. For my kids, missing their family and our old way of life, the schooling the place where we lived, the decision is made, we are going back. However, for myself and my husband we have a better social life (as every where you go you have to take the kids anyway so dont worry about babysitters). We've both re-trained, hubbys got a good job, we could plod along. I miss so much of home that it outweighs the positives of staying, but what if we are wrong. What if we land back on British soil and think "oh god what have we done??" I am constantly running this through my mind all the time. How do you know?? :eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 Why not take a trip home and see if you like it. My mum went back for two extended periods of time and then returned here. I also returned to the UK after I married and lived there, I did not like it but got used to it but my oh had wanted to leave UK for a long time so we came back. I was a child when I left originally but being a child you only miss family if you are told to. My mum and dad never made a big deal about the family so nor did we. Would I live there now, no, have a holiday there and we have just returned from spending nearly three months over there this year but this is where my friends are. I selected my friends not my family. Our family are all in competition so its a good miss for us.:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bettie Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 Havent been on here for so long. This was my life line when we were waiting for visa news, everyone supportive and in the same boat. We've been here a year now and have a two year plan in which to make a decision. For my kids, missing their family and our old way of life, the schooling the place where we lived, the decision is made, we are going back. However, for myself and my husband we have a better social life (as every where you go you have to take the kids anyway so dont worry about babysitters). We've both re-trained, hubbys got a good job, we could plod along. I miss so much of home that it outweighs the positives of staying, but what if we are wrong. What if we land back on British soil and think "oh god what have we done??" I am constantly running this through my mind all the time. How do you know?? :eek: Hello yorshire pud I bet you are having a right dilema at the moment, we are about to emigrate to Melbourne, may be before xmas. I am so ready for the change, the UK doesn't really have much to offer us at the moment. I will miss friends and family, but hopefully I will make friends when I am out there through nursery, gym and work. I have often thought about that, I know I haven't even got out there yet, but I understand how you feel. All the what if's..... Yeah may be take a trip home for a few weeks or a month, if you get the gut feeling that you want to go home, may be go home. At least you have had the crack at living in Oz. If we get to that point, we are going to try and stick it out to see if we get past that. I have been to Oz travelling before back in '99 but my husband has never been. He will have a job as soon as we get there, I will be on my own with my 20mth old daughter. I'm going to find out where nursery's are or play groups so I can get myself mingling! Hope it all works out for you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ali Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 I think if you can afford it then a trip back is a great idea ... if could help you make your mind up. I haven't been faced with this dilema, so can't truly empathise with what you're going through, but I do keep in touch with family and friends (obviously), but from that I know that the place I worked isn't the same, people have moved on and there's been some changes that I wouldn't like (as my old colleagues don't like them), the school my children went to has changed, there's a different head and totally different uniform ... which although no major deal just emphasises that everything changes and things won't be quite the same as when you left. Good luck with your decision making Ali x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 It's a difficult one. We moved back form Perth 7 years ago after 4 years away, and although I didn't really mind, I found when we got here I absolutely hated everything about the Uk and it took a good two years for me to feel settled again. We came back to the same city, but everyone's lives had moved on (including ours)and nothing was the same as when we left. Last year we spent a year in Sydney and I really felt like I'd come home when we landed back in Australia. However, my children were really unhappy at school and my husband didn't really enjoy his work, so because of the girls' ages we decided to come back to the UK, which I didn't really want to do. A long story, but my husband is working in Melbourne as there are no jobs in his area here at the moment (and unlikely to be anytime soon), so I'm here with the girls on my own. I miss him very much, but I love being back in the UK this time - having only been away a year this time nothing has really changed. Because of the job situation we may have to go and join him in Melbourne and I really don't want to. I can't work out whether it's because the girls are all so settled, or whether I just don't want to be in Australia anymore - although I still really like being there and I really want us to be together as a family again! It's complicated and I think what I'm trying to say is you really won't know unless you do it. A visit back may help, but you'd have to try not to think of it as a holiday, which is hard. Good luck with your decision - I completely understand what you're going through! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yorkshirepud Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 It's a difficult one.We moved back form Perth 7 years ago after 4 years away, and although I didn't really mind, I found when we got here I absolutely hated everything about the Uk and it took a good two years for me to feel settled again. We came back to the same city, but everyone's lives had moved on (including ours)and nothing was the same as when we left. Last year we spent a year in Sydney and I really felt like I'd come home when we landed back in Australia. However, my children were really unhappy at school and my husband didn't really enjoy his work, so because of the girls' ages we decided to come back to the UK, which I didn't really want to do. A long story, but my husband is working in Melbourne as there are no jobs in his area here at the moment (and unlikely to be anytime soon), so I'm here with the girls on my own. I miss him very much, but I love being back in the UK this time - having only been away a year this time nothing has really changed. Because of the job situation we may have to go and join him in Melbourne and I really don't want to. I can't work out whether it's because the girls are all so settled, or whether I just don't want to be in Australia anymore - although I still really like being there and I really want us to be together as a family again! It's complicated and I think what I'm trying to say is you really won't know unless you do it. A visit back may help, but you'd have to try not to think of it as a holiday, which is hard. Good luck with your decision - I completely understand what you're going through! Thanks for all the advice. Hubby thinks I should go back for visit. He wants to stay in oz but can see the benefits for the kids going back. We've made lots of friends, I am at college at the moment too doing a six month course, kids like their school, so we've certainly made a new life, am just not sure it will ever feel like" home", feels likes something is missing, but dont know how to make the decision. Isnt life funny, spent all that time worrying about not getting a visa now worrying about whether to return to UK - we are definitely enjoying it though, I seem to enjoy it more when I tell myself its not for ever. We are going to spend the next 12 months doing everything we can, just in case xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caramac Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 A visit back might be just what you need then. If you're making a new life for yourselves and you're not unhappy then it might just be a matter of giving it a bit more time. I think some of us try to think too far in the future and you're right, nothing has to be forever, just enjoy it for what it is now. It takes time to achieve what you've left behind - perhaps that's what's missing for you at the moment? Enjoy the next year, exploring and doing lots x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conniebygaslight Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 Hi Yorkshire Pud, we've been back in the UK for 3 weeks after under a year in Australia and we absolutely love it. We have no family here and lots of family in Oz (Australian husband) so we left a lot to come back but we feel that our life is here and we have no doubts whatsoever about returning. I would say that your situation is the same as ours but in reverse. If you have made a good life in Australia then I would be inclined to only come back for a visit. We didn't miss the people here as much as we just missed our life in England and all that it has to offer. We missed the family in Oz and that's why we went but our life is here in England and what we have made here. Australia wasn't for us at all and we knew it family or no family...we should have stuck to just visiting. Maybe you should be the same with the UK...? Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted September 18, 2010 Share Posted September 18, 2010 I reckon you just know if you dont "belong". It is quite possible to come here, be successful, settle in and all that but at the back of your mind you know that this isnt the place you want to grow old and die in - no shame in that. I think your description of "plodding" through is telling - is that how you see your life? If so, then a move to where you can "live" your life may be the answer. I would leave here in a heartbeat if I could and every visit to the place I do belong recharges my batteries for the long plod in between visits. You do both have to be on the same page though for if, when you get back, one of you is not totally chuffed with the decision then life will be full of "if we were in Australia we would ...." and the resentment can simmer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yorkshirepud Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Yes, its all true. I think if we can afford it I will go back for a visit with my sons. See how it feels. We have mother-in-law out with us at the minute so its all good. Great to have visitors (well, most of the time), but she keeps talking about the place we lived and its making me home sick argghhh! lol. At least the sun is shining (as always) and summer is approaching, its worth staying another 6 months just for that! ta guys xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racht Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 What about staying until you get Citizenship, then you can always all come back if you ever feel the need? Rach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted September 24, 2010 Share Posted September 24, 2010 What if we land back on British soil and think "oh god what have we done??" You won't be the first, or the last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lisa in Melbourne Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Hi YP - I've been in Oz for almost eleven years and have a good network of British friends in Melbourne. It seems as though we all get homesick from time to time. It's so easy to see the green grass on the other side of the fence - and the tendency to hop over the fence and back can be both costly and exhausting. It seems as though you really need to talk this out with someone neutral. I'm a trained life coach and my area of expertise is helping women to transform their lives. I read your post and my heart really does go out to you. Best wishes, Lisa :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilliantay Posted September 25, 2010 Share Posted September 25, 2010 Havent been on here for so long. This was my life line when we were waiting for visa news, everyone supportive and in the same boat. We've been here a year now and have a two year plan in which to make a decision. For my kids, missing their family and our old way of life, the schooling the place where we lived, the decision is made, we are going back. However, for myself and my husband we have a better social life (as every where you go you have to take the kids anyway so dont worry about babysitters). We've both re-trained, hubbys got a good job, we could plod along. I miss so much of home that it outweighs the positives of staying, but what if we are wrong. What if we land back on British soil and think "oh god what have we done??" I am constantly running this through my mind all the time. How do you know?? :eek: Then you just work even harder to save up the money to return to Australia !!!! Seriously though, like you, I have thought of this................I sooo want to return to Scotland but sometimes worry that I will make the wrong decision. But then life is never meant to be easy. Go back for a holiday, enjoy the familiarity, friends, family and shopping then reassess your situation. I am going back in 5 weeks for a 4 week holiday and will use this time to decide once and for all if it is Australia or Scotland. Good luck Gill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plazze Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 came back 3 months ago after a year in perth DONT COME BACK NOTHING HERE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Ropey HOFF Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 Hi Yorkshire pud and it is a very difficult dilemma for you and ony YOU can decide what is best, some love the uk some love Australia and most miss their family and friends. My only advice is this try to get jobs before you get here, good well paid jobs with good pensions are scarce these days and just turning up here in the uk, might be a disaster for you. Best of luck and as a previous poster said, get citizenship, you never know you might want to go back, theres alot of ping pong Poms on PIO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsindecision Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 came back 3 months ago after a year in perth DONT COME BACK NOTHING HERE Remember that some people on her might take you at your word which after all is just your personal opinion. Plenty on offer in UK depends who you are what you want and where you are located. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 Piccos Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 I agree with many of the posts YorkshirePud. I absolutely agree with Ali when s/he said things move on with people and places back in the UK and you do not always seem to fit straight back in because you have also changed. I laughed when you said the mother in law is with you and talking none stop about HOME and I bet it is all good!!! Of course she has her own agenda in making you homesick. She wants her son and grandchildren back in the UK. Hope she doesn't talk constantly like that in front of your boys. Twelve months is not long enough to settle in. One of the posts said it takes much longer than that to get what you had in the UK and I agree wholeheartedly with that statement. Some people go over to Australia and expect to have exactly what they had over in the UK virtually right away, but have it bathed in sunshine. It takes time to make friends and to fit in and if your mind is always harping back to the UK then it is not giving Australia 100% commitment. I am not sure that a visit to the UK at this time is a good idea. Having a holiday there is definitely not the same as living there. It is just a round of visits to family and friends. Most of the time they will be like your mother in law, only painting a rosey picture. You say you are enjoying your stay, well carry on enjoying it. Make more friends, encourage the children to settle as I am sure you are doing. No, nothing has to be forever, but you really do have to give it a good shot, so that you don't have any regrets should you return. I lived in Australia for 17 years and thoroughly enjoyed it. Returned to UK to travel Europe and for no other reason. Now on my way back. I have never let family or friends influence whether I stayed in Australia. I tend to just get on with the job of living the best life possible wherever I live. One thing I will say, I do think Skype and social networking can be a blessing and a curse. People emigrating nowadays tend to try and live a life in each country, and of course, exaggerated claims of having a great time from family and friends in UK, can make people feel homesick. Actually, a lot of them are bored to tears, but don't want you to think that. Gosh, am I cynic or do I just know people from being around the block a few times! When I emigrated communication was through aeorgrammes which took a week to get there. If we had a telephone, we couldn't ring the UK as it cost a fortune. No English newspapers either, so you had to throw yourself head long in to your new life. Best wishes to you and your family whatever decision you make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 Piccos Posted September 26, 2010 Share Posted September 26, 2010 Just a quick p.s. I agree with the other posts. Stay and get your citizenship. I gave birth to my daughter whilst living in Australia. I made sure that my sons, who were born in the UK, became Australian citizens so that they had the same opportunity to return in the future, should they leave the country. I am so glad I did. They left Australia to travel are returning in January. My grandchildren were automatically granted citizenship (by descent) before setting foot on Australian soil. Could save a lot of money, stress and heartache in the future. It also stops you feeling bad in the future if they want to return and can't. It's always nice to know you can return, even if you do not intend to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyCoyles Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 It is hard to know whats for the best. We moved out just over 2 years ago and really like it. It is home for us now. I have all my family here, all six of us and my Dad moved out separately with our OH's and kids so a really big move. My mother passed away before her and my Dad got the chance to move and this was my mother dream for us all to be here or at least try it. I feel bad for my wife as her family are all in Ireland still and will probably stay there. It was also her brothers dream to move here but his partner wont leave her street never mind the other side of the world! There is still that feeling of something being missing that people talk about and not sure what it is to be honest or that it will ever go away. I keep thinking that we would be better going back for my wifes sake but she is happy here, I just have the feeling of guilt for taking her away from her family that plays on my mind. But we have our own family now and thats whats important. Life is to short to worry about everything I know but you have to make the right decision for you and your family. My main worry was falling into the trap of not wanting to live here or Ireland. I know some people get stuck in limbo and thats not a good place to be. I really cant see us going back to be honest, it would mean a 50% pay cut for both of us to start with even if we could get jobs and back to renting a house again. I think once we visit (planned for 2012) and come back again we will be able to put the debate to bed and say this is us for good. Until we see home again there will always be that doubt. I spoke to a few people who have been over recently and couldnt wait to get back so please visit before taking the plunge to move back. It could be harder than moving here in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul1Perth Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 came back 3 months ago after a year in perth DONT COME BACK NOTHING HERE Are you coming back to Perth? Weather is just getting good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the dougans Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 we have been in qld for 3 months now. we are all enjoying it but i really miss family and friends , i now no i will be going home after a year or 2 here. i certainluy wont be hee forever it to much on the heart strings missing people like mad didnt think id be so bad, hubby love it here he dont miss people as much and kids settled but also miss uk. we go back in june for wedding after 11 months i wish we could just stay back but we will need to return to oz to sort all things out financially but i suppose going for holiday will clarify situation for us. good luck with waht you decide. cant believe all the time amnd money we have all spent then want to go home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plazze Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Are you coming back to Perth? Weather is just getting good. na am going to melburne have friends there going back feb 2011, dont come back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 Piccos Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 we have been in qld for 3 months now. we are all enjoying it but i really miss family and friends , i now no i will be going home after a year or 2 here. i certainluy wont be hee forever it to much on the heart strings missing people like mad didnt think id be so bad, hubby love it here he dont miss people as much and kids settled but also miss uk. we go back in june for wedding after 11 months i wish we could just stay back but we will need to return to oz to sort all things out financially but i suppose going for holiday will clarify situation for us. good luck with waht you decide. cant believe all the time amnd money we have all spent then want to go home. Three months is so soon to make such a decision. Stay positive and give your new life a chance. Children soon settle down. You will read a lot of posts on this site from people who were very homesick for a year or two and they now would not return permanently to the UK now. They go on holidays to see family. I hope that by the time you all go back for the wedding you will be feeling less homesick. I wish you the best of luck and happiness in whatever decision you make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the dougans Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 Three months is so soon to make such a decision. Stay positive and give your new life a chance. Children soon settle down. You will read a lot of posts on this site from people who were very homesick for a year or two and they now would not return permanently to the UK now. They go on holidays to see family. I hope that by the time you all go back for the wedding you will be feeling less homesick. I wish you the best of luck and happiness in whatever decision you make. hi thanks for your post , i am going to reass it after xmas and see but if still feel same in june will just stay in uk instead of hol. didnt realise would be so hard missing people. enjoyimng oz also though. take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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