Herbster Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 My brother was murdered. Very Sorry itskaren, for your loss - you must have been devastated to loose your loved one in such a heinous manner, and felt so betrayed and afraid of The System to leave so much behind and step into the Unknown with a life in OZ... I'm sure most of us can understand that you would want to escape for so many reasons, it's the most natural response to a horrible situation... But I wonder if it would help you more now, being able to talk to people who care, who have the time to listen, so that you might start to put your feelings of loss and abandonment into some sort of perspective...You must have so many things going through your heart & soul that perhaps don't make any sense, but if you could talk about that, would help you discover what you really need and want from your LIFE at this moment in time, and release some of the anger and sadness you so obviously carry. Maybe leaving UK was the right thing for you to do at that time in response to your loss, but perhaps putting all your faith and hope in finding a replacement Life for the one you ran away from in UK, here in OZ might have been a mistake in the long run... An extended vacation, might have been more helpful, but sometimes we act instinctively - so coming out here in some ways might be actually be a positive thing as it is forcing you to ask questions and seek the answers.. Perhaps for you, in your circumstance, even being in the most suitable, wonderful place in OZ would not have helped; it would not have bought your brother back nor delivered Justice on his killers... Please pm if you feel I can help in any way, reaching out has got to be good, and I can be supportive & listen if nothing else... G xXx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 My brother was murdered. That is a tradegy, words for which cannot express or match how you must feel and only those in the same position as you know what it must be like to live with that event as part of your life, every day. As an outsider into that event, looking in, I hope you took advantage of everything that was offered to you by society in order to assist you to handle such a devastating life changing matter before you moved to Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheArmChairDetective Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Didnt imply that you said he was a del boy, just meant it as a statement aldo a del boy - as in question ???? - cause the thought made me laugh (just going on the character that we have found out of aldo to be from his threads & post)no offence meant :twitcy: No offence taken whatso ever, so I clicked your chick just to give you a man hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petals Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I agree with what Deb has said and you are grieving and it takes a long while to get over losing someone you love. Even when we think we are over it sometimes we are just kidding ourselves just putting on a brave face. If I was you I would be feeling very very bitter wherever I was living and very very sad and nothing would seem worthy. I supported my best friend after her daughter took her life and I know how long it takes, its two years now and she is still seeing a counsellor from time to time. Hope you can find happiness in the future wherever you end up. :smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tim Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Guys I split this thread to keep it on track Thanks - Aldos move can be discussed here:- http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/general-dilemmas/45336-aldos-move.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewebweazel Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 It really irritates me when people call Oz backward compared to the UK, that is really ridiculous. It is implying that the UK is the leader and the way we do it in the UK is the only way to do it ,otherwise you are backward. This arrogant attitude in western world has got us into trouble with other nationalities. Why can’t we just accepted that other cultures and nations are different to us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Working to fish Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Guys I split this thread to keep it on track Thanks - Aldos move can be discussed here:- http://www.pomsinoz.com/forum/general-dilemmas/45336-aldos-move.html Cheers Tim for a mo , i though i was going mad. eddie lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Good point. Just because Oz is not the same as the UK just different doesnt mean its backwards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kabroom Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 The biggest similarities that I can think of off the top of my head is that we drive on the same side of the road and we speak the same language, sort of, other than that I think Australia is more americanised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earlswood Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 It really irritates me when people call Oz backward compared to the UK, that is really ridiculous. It is implying that the UK is the leader and the way we do it in the UK is the only way to do it ,otherwise you are backward. This arrogant attitude in western world has got us into trouble with other nationalities. Why can’t we just accepted that other cultures and nations are different to us! No one is saying it is backward just that it is moving slower than other Countries in many things "a bit like India" and it will take a while for supermarkets "shop opening hours" TV etc to catch up, no one has said it is a bad thing...just different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Once you live here a numerous years like I have you loose touch of whats happening in other places. Only if you go back for a holiday you become aware of the differences. Otherwise you just get on with what life has to offer you here and dont even think about what may be going on in the UK. Its only new people here that can see a difference. They may compare schools etc but does it really matter as as long as the schooling suits the Australian way of life and by doing that schooling you can get ahead here then it shouldnt really matter that its different to the UK. The only time it would matter is if you want to take kids back in a year or two they they would notice the difference and may be dissadvantaged. But if you plan on staying here I cant see any problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 It really irritates me when people call Oz backward compared to the UK, that is really ridiculous. It is implying that the UK is the leader and the way we do it in the UK is the only way to do it ,otherwise you are backward. This arrogant attitude in western world has got us into trouble with other nationalities. Why can’t we just accepted that other cultures and nations are different to us! Actually, there are areas in which Australia is backward but they dont realize it. I was talking to a girl who went to an international conference in Canada recently. We were talking about what had been worthwhile and what had not - she reported that some of the Australian presenters received less than flattering evaluations because of their presentation of "cutting edge" programs which had been tried, used and tossed by virtually every other nation represented there. It isnt just that area - you often see new arrivals criticize areas of practice which are behind - probably 10 years or more in some areas! It isnt arrogance except on the part of the Aussies who try and bull**** that they are in the vanguard of everything. Nothing to do with cultural differences unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cheshire Cat Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Here Here, get over it, and get on with it, or go home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earlswood Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 We have Aussie mates in Queensland and they say that the main thing that pea's them off is when the Brits compare life down under to the UK "we don't do that in the UK" but actually your not in the UK. So always remember fit in or F**k off?? Thats their moto. :notworthy: And there is plenty of them leaving Oz themselves reading the papers over here.:twitcy: And I have never in 2 years heard any Brit say "we don't do that in the UK" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongrel Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 We have Aussie mates in Queensland and they say that the main thing that pea's them off is when the Brits compare life down under to the UK "we don't do that in the UK" but actually your not in the UK. So always remember fit in or F**k off?? Thats their moto. :notworthy: Another moto if you havent tried it shut the f*** up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest earlswood Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Another moto if you havent tried it shut the f*** up :biglaugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest catsinfrance Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 In a dark humour kind of way, the original quote amused me. I thought exactly the same when I went the UK about 14 years ago. I thought I had arrived in a 3rd world country but with english speaking people Never forget my visit to arrange my NI number....the centre was like something off Children of Men! Things have got better and I will say UK is more dynamic in a lot of was than Australia. UK has picked up its game alot whereas Aust rests in its laurals more than it should. But on the whole, Australia is not backwards - its just different to what you grew up with and a reflexively at home with. Glad to be returning home in 5 weeks time for good. Oh, and don't talk about nursing quality - Chelsea and Westminster Hospital is *!?@ for nursing :sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnxiousMum Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I am as ever gobsmacked at the amount of posts someone can generate by giving an opinion. Have you guys noticed the orignal poster has only actually answered 1 question put to them about why they hate OZ so much.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :GEEK: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoll Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I am as ever gobsmacked at the amount of posts someone can generate by giving an opinion. Have you guys noticed the orignal poster has only actually answered 1 question put to them about why they hate OZ so much.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :GEEK: I think the OP has more to worry about than getting into an argey bargey about why they loathe the place and defending themselves against those who disagree. I read the original post as a cry for help/sympathy not a prompt to get into an argument about whether this was the Garden of Eden or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joetrac Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I think the OP has more to worry about than getting into an argey bargey about why they loathe the place and defending themselves against those who disagree. I read the original post as a cry for help/sympathy not a prompt to get into an argument about whether this was the Garden of Eden or not. Well said Quoll...to many people jumping down the OP throat with crap advice like"Just leave then"....If it was that easy Im sure she would have. People who have yet to arrive should have a little more sympathy...they never know if it will be them one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest itskaren Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I think the OP has more to worry about than getting into an argey bargey about why they loathe the place and defending themselves against those who disagree. I read the original post as a cry for help/sympathy not a prompt to get into an argument about whether this was the Garden of Eden or not. I suppose my original post was going to create a reaction. Thanks for all the sympathetic posts. I was not asking for this at all however, its kind. My brother was killed in the London bombings so I just could not feel safe in england. It was a 'knee jerk' reaction to a post I did not intend to post it but too late with the click! Email is great most of the time! He lived with me like a son (17 years difference). I was having a bad day on the day I posted the original 'statement' although I do still feel the same. On reflection maybe I should not have posted it. I am sure it is more state of mind maybe that actually hating Australia however, I do feel that I have gone back 15 years at least in my nursing career doing things in the 80's and not moving forward. This has been a huge mistake for me career wise. Iwas a nurse practitioner and they just don't exist as we know them in Australia perhaphs as the 'flying drs' department. Must go to bed just finished working a night! Probably best to close this thread if possible please someone thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErmintrudeMcMoo Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I suppose my original post was going to create a reaction. Thanks for all the sympathetic posts. I was not asking for this at all however, its kind. My brother was killed in the London bombings so I just could not feel safe in england. It was a 'knee jerk' reaction to a post I did not intend to post it but too late with the click! Email is great most of the time! He lived with me like a son (17 years difference). I was having a bad day on the day I posted the original 'statement' although I do still feel the same. On reflection maybe I should not have posted it. I am sure it is more state of mind maybe that actually hating Australia however, I do feel that I have gone back 15 years at least in my nursing career doing things in the 80's and not moving forward. This has been a huge mistake for me career wise. Iwas a nurse practitioner and they just don't exist as we know them in Australia perhaphs as the 'flying drs' department. Must go to bed just finished working a night! Probably best to close this thread if possible please someone thanks. You shouldn`t have to apologise for posting what is valid to you. Like someone else said it`s not quite as easy as jumping on the next plane back to blighty. Australia is not for everyone and it is not a quick fix solution for life`s problems. I would say try and set your self a goal - either for moving back or your career here in Oz (from reading your post I think this is your biggest concern at mo) small steps a day at a time. Hope you are ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest taffy 62 Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Hi Karen hope you are feeling better today. I agree we shouldnt close the post. This site is for people to come onto to release their emotions along with the general day to day questions. A lot of people feel they cant talk to those close to them for one reason or another, and it helps to talk to cyber friends as there are so many people on here some one is bound to relate to how your feeling and offer some support. Even if you feel you havnt had support ( which I dont think is the case here) it does help to release things by writing things down, the only difference you did was click the button! which wasnt a bad thing in my opionion. So hang in there and take care.:yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Pom Queen Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Hi Karen Sorry to hear that things are still not great for you. How about trying Queensland before giving up. I think it's great to have mixed perspectives on Australia and enjoy reading your posts. Australia isn't for everyone and I understand that. Do you feel that you are still grieving and this may not be helping. I know it may sound silly to some people but I know a few who have come over and had counselling, not because someone has died but because they are still going through a loss of family and friends. If you ever want to chat or get together for a coffee give me a shout. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MACDONALDO67 Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 We have been here a year in December and detest this country. Sorry if I upset anyone but it is a backward country in camparison to the UK. The banking, nursing for sure, supermarkets, I could go on for ever. The UK is not really that bad! Just make sure anyone who is in the process of coming over that it really is not the land of milk and honey! Good luck is all I say! Good, interesting post and my condolences for your loss. It's never, ever an easy term to come to terms with but you seem to have more than enough on your plate. Not posted for a while but I have been on and off reading what goes on. Still no luck getting to Oz at the moment and somehow I don't think it's going to happen this near future. Wouldn't be able to get the money for my house sale for a kick off never mind sponsorship so not a good time to vacate the building. But anyway, yes it's all an illusion. The nice "Place in the Sun", "Australia's Location,Location,Location" and "Auction Sqaud" I'm watching them every day but I have an open mind and know that it is a completely different world over there. I am adaptable but I don't know about my wife and kids and I sometimes ponder, when reading threads like this, if this is a problem my family would succumbe to. I only know that I would put up with it if there was something I didn't like. The little every day things we are used to here in the UK can be an irritant in Australia because it's so different that when you arrive with your eyes wide open it's not surprising that some people get ground down and want to go back. I have read on some posts of people going home to the UK then realising that was a mistake and wanting to go back to Oz. You might have to try that but before you do make a list of all the good things and bad things about Australia and then do the same with the UK then compare. You have to ask yourself why you left in the first place and decide if going bck to face that is what you really want? Easy for me to say I suppose because I'm not there but I wish I could get the experience to do so. But just give it time and adapt and see how you go. Throwing it down here in Manchester at the moment. Does that help? :biglaugh: Nice to see you are still "Living it up" Earlswood. How are you? Are you feeling any better or worse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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