Am I crazy for preferring England over Australia?

[Booma]

Your 20's are for exploring the world, new experience and making mistakes. I'd backpacked in oz and loved it so didn't hesitate to move here when my ozzie husband wanted to come home. I were surprised when I didn't settle. We ended up going back to uk only to realise after a few months that I didn't like living there at all and oz was really where we both wanted to be. It cost money going backwards and forwards of course but we got a wonderful life in oz in the end and with some hard graft we got back on our feet so I'm not sorry we did what we did.

You might go on holiday and decide UKs not for you anymore or you might decide it is and even change your mind again later or not. It doesn't really matter if it helps you work out what you really want ?

[Marisawright]

57 minutes ago, CTM5198 said:

Yeah I’ve heard stories about people going back to the UK for a visit, and experiencing a reverse culture shock - “omg I can’t believe I actually used to live here, in this cold, crowded place with monotonous-looking houses”. 

I'm not sure I'd call it reverse culture shock.  I'd call it "the scales falling from your eyes"!  

To give an extreme example, have you read the book "Room"?   It's about a little boy who grows up in captivity (it's based on the Fritzl case).   Because he's never known anything else, he's perfectly happy in the Room.  it's only when he escapes and then goes back to look at the Room with clear eyes, he can see what he's been missing out on.

Of course I'm not saying the UK is a terrible place, just that you can't make an accurate judgment on anything unless you  have something to compare it with.  For instance, I'm very glad I spent three years in Swaziland (on an aid scheme) before I emigrated to Australia.   Africa was a difficult and stressful gig, and for the whole three years I couldn't wait to get back to the UK.  However when I did get back to my home town, I realised how much I'd painted it with a rosy glow while I was away.  I realised how closed-in people's horizons were, and  I couldn't go back to that small world. 

It's interesting that I couldn't immediately compare the UK and Africa as soon as I got to Africa.  I had to go back to the UK to see it again before I could judge properly.  

Australia wasn't perfect either, of course.  if I hadn't had the experience of living in Africa, I might've been thinking fondly of my life in the UK, and run back to it.  However, because I'd been to Africa and returned to see my home town with clearer eyes, I wasn't fooled by the rosy-glow memories.

Edited May 3, 2018 by Marisawright

[CTM5198]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

I'm not sure I'd call it reverse culture shock.  I'd call it "the scales falling from your eyes"!  

To give an extreme example, have you read the book "Room"?   It's about a little boy who grows up in captivity (it's based on the Fritzl case).   Because he's never known anything else, he's perfectly happy in the Room.  it's only when he escapes and then goes back to look at the Room with clear eyes, he can see what he's been missing out on.

Of course I'm not saying the UK is a terrible place, just that you can't make an accurate judgment on anything unless you  have something to compare it with.  For instance, I'm very glad I spent three years in Swaziland (on an aid scheme) before I emigrated to Australia.   Africa was a difficult and stressful gig, and for the whole three years I couldn't wait to get back to the UK.  However when I did get back to my home town, I realised how much I'd painted it with a rosy glow while I was away.  I realised how closed-in people's horizons were, and  I couldn't go back to that small world. 

It's interesting that I couldn't immediately compare the UK and Africa as soon as I got to Africa.  I had to go back to the UK to see it again before I could judge properly.  

Australia wasn't perfect either, of course.  if I hadn't had the experience of living in Africa, I might've been thinking fondly of my life in the UK, and run back to it.  However, because I'd been to Africa and returned to see my home town with clearer eyes, I wasn't fooled by the rosy-glow memories.

Yes it’s all about perspective! Your experience in Africa reminds me of the many migrants in Australia who come from developing & least developed countries - they are completely satisfied with their life here and view Australia as ‘heaven’ simply because they are contrasting their past living conditions (perhaps war, famine, etc...) with greener pastures, like with the example you gave about the novel, Room. Migrants coming from developed countries will be looking at different things when determining quality of life. But thanks for that perspective on things!

[Marisawright]

22 minutes ago, CTM5198 said:

Yes it’s all about perspective! Your experience in Africa reminds me of the many migrants in Australia who come from developing & least developed countries - they are completely satisfied with their life here and view Australia as ‘heaven’ simply because they are contrasting their past living conditions (perhaps war, famine, etc...) with greener pastures, like with the example you gave about the novel, Room. Migrants coming from developed countries will be looking at different things when determining quality of life. But thanks for that perspective on things!

Yes, it's easy to decide where you want to be when you're coming from a deprived background.  In my case, it wasn't the economic conditions that got to me, it was more about personalities.  Where I come from in the UK, people still live their lives based on "what will the neighbours think" (you may be too young to know who Hyacinth Bouquet was, but that's all my aunties rolled into one).  I'm much too frank and non-conformist to ever be comfortable in that atmosphere, whereas Australia puts up with me.

[Toots]

1 hour ago, Marisawright said:

Yes, it's easy to decide where you want to be when you're coming from a deprived background.  In my case, it wasn't the economic conditions that got to me, it was more about personalities.  Where I come from in the UK, people still live their lives based on "what will the neighbours think" (you may be too young to know who Hyacinth Bouquet was, but that's all my aunties rolled into one).  I'm much too frank and non-conformist to ever be comfortable in that atmosphere, whereas Australia puts up with me.

I had an aunt who was just like Hyacinth Bouquet.  I loved her dearly but she was such a snob.  Her son and daughter were (in her eyes) perfect and could do no wrong.  My siblings and I and some other cousins dreaded them visiting.  Thank goodness when the 'perfect' children grew up they were lovely normal people and we got on far better than when we were all children.  We still had to watch our Ps and Qs when auntie was around though even when we were grown up.

Edited May 3, 2018 by Toots

[Quoll]

3 hours ago, Toots said:

I had an aunt who was just like Hyacinth Bouquet.  I loved her dearly but she was such a snob.  Her son and daughter were (in her eyes) perfect and could do no wrong.  My siblings and I and some other cousins dreaded them visiting.  Thank goodness when the 'perfect' children grew up they were lovely normal people and we got on far better than when we were all children.  We still had to watch our Ps and Qs when auntie was around though even when we were grown up.

I have an aunt who IS Hyacinth! Her main reason for choosing the care home that she and my uncle now reside in was that they have crystal chandeliers! To hell with the rather (imho) second rate care they are actually getting but those chandeliers trump all!

[CTM5198]

6 hours ago, Marisawright said:

Yes, it's easy to decide where you want to be when you're coming from a deprived background.  In my case, it wasn't the economic conditions that got to me, it was more about personalities.  Where I come from in the UK, people still live their lives based on "what will the neighbours think" (you may be too young to know who Hyacinth Bouquet was, but that's all my aunties rolled into one).  I'm much too frank and non-conformist to ever be comfortable in that atmosphere, whereas Australia puts up with me.

Don’t get me started  I have certainly been acquainted to the Hyacinth Bouquet personality and my God is it stifling...

[ali]

10 hours ago, CTM5198 said:

Yeah I’ve heard stories about people going back to the UK for a visit, and experiencing a reverse culture shock - “omg I can’t believe I actually used to live here, in this cold, crowded place with monotonous-looking houses”. 

My husband took him to his old primary school and he asked where the "big field" and the long road (to school) was .. "this is it" hubby told him .. you were 7 and much smaller then

[simmo]

On 5/2/2018 at 03:28, CTM5198 said:

Hi! So I’m a 20 year old uni student and I moved out to Sydney with my parents in late 2013. Recently, I’ve been feeling extremely homesick and thankfully I’m going back home for a visit in July. I’ve been homesick to the extent that I’ve been making jokes about not coming back to Australia after my trip. One thing that is kinda bothering me is that I feel like an outlier or a weirdo, missing the UK & preferring it over Australia. I feel like I have to justify myself to other Brits (and never really Aussies), especially to those back in the UK who seem to have a television snapshot of Australian life. I get that we all have our various preferences, likes and dislikes but are my reasons rational? Australia is beautiful, I must admit, but my reasons the aspects I miss about the UK certainly outweigh the positives of Australia. Is this natural? 

You sound like an intelligent young lady.  Yes Australia is beautiful but lets be honest, it can be a bit boring (especially for the young).  I totally understand your yearning for England. 

[bunbury61]

On ‎02‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 03:28, CTM5198 said:

Hi! So I’m a 20 year old uni student and I moved out to Sydney with my parents in late 2013. Recently, I’ve been feeling extremely homesick and thankfully I’m going back home for a visit in July. I’ve been homesick to the extent that I’ve been making jokes about not coming back to Australia after my trip. One thing that is kinda bothering me is that I feel like an outlier or a weirdo, missing the UK & preferring it over Australia. I feel like I have to justify myself to other Brits (and never really Aussies), especially to those back in the UK who seem to have a television snapshot of Australian life. I get that we all have our various preferences, likes and dislikes but are my reasons rational? Australia is beautiful, I must admit, but my reasons the aspects I miss about the UK certainly outweigh the positives of Australia. Is this natural? 

???....if that's the way you feel , it is what it is .

it isn't complicated , its not a sin or a crime .

I love both countries , and could happily spend 6 months in each .

but I have to chose one ,it has to be England .

and there are no rose tinted glasses with me .

the main reason is ....england is home ,always will be .

do you prefer the nice,shiny new shoes or the battered comfortable old pair ????

[bunbury61]

On ‎02‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 04:17, Metalhead_89 said:

No your not crazy! I have been here (Adelaide) just shy of a decade and am now starting to feel the urge to go home. I know the U.k isnt perfect and it has its problems but there are somethings that are wonderful about it. The culture, the seasons (hate the hot weather) being so close the europe, a traditional English pub!!.  Australia is beautiful but Ive never felt like I belong here - I dont understand the people or there mentality, I think if you are an older person with a young family it would be a wonderful place to raise a young family but as a young-er person I miss all that the U.K and Europe has to offer. Just my 2 cents

fully understand your post .

the thought of not having London down the road or having Europe on the doorstep is something I would struggle to live with .

I have just put up a picture of the current temp in the sun ,on our terrace .....its 45c....probably high 20s in the shade .

its great for a few days ,after the long ,greyness we have had ,but i wouldn't want 6 months of it ...sod that .

agree with you about Europe by the way ....bloody fantastic

[CTM5198]

On 06/05/2018 at 17:59, simmo said:

You sound like an intelligent young lady.  Yes Australia is beautiful but lets be honest, it can be a bit boring (especially for the young).  I totally understand your yearning for England. 

Aw thanks! And yes boring... and hot. I don’t think I can stand another summer tbh, especially after this lengthy one we’ve just had. 

[starlight7]

We are all different- I can't wait for Summer to start again, it was only 17C today and the temp is dropping in Melbourne!  Nasty.

[bunbury61]

On ‎06‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 14:26, bunbury61 said:

fully understand your post .

the thought of not having London down the road or having Europe on the doorstep is something I would struggle to live with .

I have just put up a picture of the current temp in the sun ,on our terrace .....its 45c....probably high 20s in the shade .

its great for a few days ,after the long ,greyness we have had ,but i wouldn't want 6 months of it ...sod that .

agree with you about Europe by the way ....bloody fantastic

p.s it all depends on which part of oz you mean ,and which part of the u.k you mean ....if you meant swapping an oceanside property for inner city brum ,then I would say no ....on the other hand would you move from the cotswolds to coober pedy ...thats also probably a no ?

[starlight7]

The cotswolds are lovely but oh so crowded with tourists and that is a problem for many of us. Same applies to those beautiful little Cornish towns.  We have big problems here with overcrowded beach resorts but they pale into insignificance compared with the ones in the UK. 

[bunbury61]

1 hour ago, starlight7 said:

The cotswolds are lovely but oh so crowded with tourists and that is a problem for many of us. Same applies to those beautiful little Cornish towns.  We have big problems here with overcrowded beach resorts but they pale into insignificance compared with the ones in the UK. 

no they are not ,where did you get that from

Broadway ....bourton in the water ....stow on the wold , definitely busy ,often too busy .

but there are loads of little villages where no one goes .

I visit them regularly , moat of them unheard of .

[bunbury61]

1 minute ago, bunbury61 said:

no they are not ,where did you get that from

Broadway ....bourton in the water ....stow on the wold , definitely busy ,often too busy .

but there are loads of little villages where no one goes .

I visit them regularly , moat of them unheard of .

snowshill ,just up the road from broadway ,gets a few visitors ,that's because its been used recently in the Bridget Jones films , otherwise it would be anonymous .

I go to some fantastic places ,Cotswolds and otherwise ,that never see a tourist

 

[Coblers]

Always have very fond memories of life in the UK. I left in the seventies when I was 21, returned after a few years and stayed 2 years, before returning to Melbourne. Their are many things we still miss, but life in Oz is just so much easier. I don’t think anywhere would prove to be perfect, rose coloured glasses are just rose coloured glasses.

[Metalhead_89]

On 09/05/2018 at 23:29, bunbury61 said:

p.s it all depends on which part of oz you mean ,and which part of the u.k you mean ....if you meant swapping an oceanside property for inner city brum ,then I would say no ....on the other hand would you move from the cotswolds to coober pedy ...thats also probably a no ?

Haha! Yes after living in sleepy old Adelaide, i'm not sure I could go back to living in London! 

[bunbury61]

47 minutes ago, Metalhead_89 said:

Haha! Yes after living in sleepy old Adelaide, i'm not sure I could go back to living in London! 

I couldn't live in London either .

in fact ,I have said many times on here ,if you are coming back to the u.k ,stay away from the large urban areas ...if you can .

iam on the edge of brum ,in Solihull and wouldn't want to live anywhere else .....unless it was coastal .

I see a hell of a lot of places on my travels .

there are some great places in the u.k , loads of them.

its just finding the right one to suit

talking of Adelaide , I have just done a job for a christian minister .

he has just been all over australia for 12 months .

Adelaide and parts of Sydney were his favourite paces?

 

 

[deryans]

4 hours ago, Metalhead_89 said:

Haha! Yes after living in sleepy old Adelaide, i'm not sure I could go back to living in London! 

you don't have to live actually in london, public transport is pretty damn good , we live on a farm on edge of ashdown forest But less than 1.5 hour away from London.

I do like London , but it does not suit our family maturity and needs at this stage, in the same way adelaide fell short of our expectations once the older kids reached 9 and 10.

we left adelayed with the expressed intention of picking life up again (as it had stagnated in adelayed), and we've definitely taken advantage of the proximity of europe and travel options , in less than 3 years we've been to more than 10 european/african trips, and this april  the family of 5 went on our first ski trip, amusing since only my aussie wife had skied before, but by day 3 the family as  whole skied back over 4.5km to the bottom of the lifts (me last of course!!!) and my aussie  9 year old  telling me to hurry up!!

I think having experienced the lack of options, opportunities and closed nature of one place, it motivates one to get up and do things and not fall into a routine of same same  every day. 

 

[bunbury61]

On ‎12‎/‎05‎/‎2018 at 09:30, deryans said:

you don't have to live actually in london, public transport is pretty damn good , we live on a farm on edge of ashdown forest But less than 1.5 hour away from London.

I do like London , but it does not suit our family maturity and needs at this stage, in the same way adelaide fell short of our expectations once the older kids reached 9 and 10.

we left adelayed with the expressed intention of picking life up again (as it had stagnated in adelayed), and we've definitely taken advantage of the proximity of europe and travel options , in less than 3 years we've been to more than 10 european/african trips, and this april  the family of 5 went on our first ski trip, amusing since only my aussie wife had skied before, but by day 3 the family as  whole skied back over 4.5km to the bottom of the lifts (me last of course!!!) and my aussie  9 year old  telling me to hurry up!!

I think having experienced the lack of options, opportunities and closed nature of one place, it motivates one to get up and do things and not fall into a routine of same same  every day. 

 

great post ....having London there ,if you want it , is a huge bonus ....one of the worlds great cities

I also agree with your thoughts on europe .

Italy for us , end of July ....venice ...rome ..lake Garda ...cannot wait .

still So much of the u.k to see for us .

its a little treasure trove ,and that's what I shall be doing from now on ....u.k and mainland western Europe .

 

[deryans]

Ah love Venice ,  there this time last year,  took a private motor launch from the airport direct to our apartment near the arsenale (about 200 euro for 5 return as apposed to 100 euro return on  the vaporetti with over 10 stops, )  10 min walk to st Marks, but quiet enough to be away from the throngs of tourists ,   for local events check out https://www.vivaticket.it/ita/search   and search for venezia  , there are quite a few events on and we were lucky enough to see hieronymus bosch at the palazzo ducale which included a VR descent into hell experience my 8 year old delighted in  

The cipriani also provides a courtesy boat to and from a private dock near the Piazza san marco should you need any brownie points with her indoors

It will be busy the time of year you are going , the cruise ships are definitely a  problem, as they disgorge a huge amount of tourists into the foreshore, I can see why the locals get pi55ed off.

 

 

 

[Perthbum]

On 02/05/2018 at 04:35, Marisawright said:

Let's face it, both countries have problems!   Every country has good points and bad points, so it comes down to a matter of personal taste.  I know what you mean about British people having a television idea of Australia.  I also think too many Brits assume that just because the weather is sunny, it must automatically be a lovely place to live - when there's so much more than weather to consider.  Look at the number of British people who move to Spain or Italy in their retirement - more than half of them move back when they realise that weather isn't everything.

I can see the pro's and con's of both countries and on balance, Australia just wins for me.  Other people will look at the good and bad and choose the UK.   And some will feel an instinctive pull to one or the other.   We're all different so don't let anyone tell you which one you "should" choose.

Good post, some hate the hot weather and do not realize it till they have had a hot summer in Oz.

[bunbury61]

5 hours ago, deryans said:

Ah love Venice ,  there this time last year,  took a private motor launch from the airport direct to our apartment near the arsenale (about 200 euro for 5 return as apposed to 100 euro return on  the vaporetti with over 10 stops, )  10 min walk to st Marks, but quiet enough to be away from the throngs of tourists ,   for local events check out https://www.vivaticket.it/ita/search   and search for venezia  , there are quite a few events on and we were lucky enough to see hieronymus bosch at the palazzo ducale which included a VR descent into hell experience my 8 year old delighted in  

The cipriani also provides a courtesy boat to and from a private dock near the Piazza san marco should you need any brownie points with her indoors

It will be busy the time of year you are going , the cruise ships are definitely a  problem, as they disgorge a huge amount of tourists into the foreshore, I can see why the locals get pi55ed off.

 

 

 

4th time deryans for us lot ....its like marmite ,you either love or hate it ...its a bloody madhouse in the summer ,as you know .

I would love to do it ,in the depths of winter ,for various reasons