Thinking of moving back and need reality check - what are the pluses and minuses?

[Lizhawkes]

Hello

 

I've been here 11 years this year (GULP), some of which have been VERY difficult, as I became a single mother with no family support and had bad PND. Having started out in Sydney for work, I moved further West, via the Dark Area of Boganville Blacktown (which is much nicer these days, I should add : ) ) and now live in the Hawkesbury. Partly due to my illness and changing work circumstances, the friends I do have (and I have a couple of reasonably good ones) I have only known for a couple of years, and have lost a lot along the way - I still feel like I'm in the process of 'starting up!!'.. I have a couple of old friends in England whom I miss, although am aware that people do change, and 11 years is a long time, although we've kept in touch. One of them has expressed she'd love it if I moved back, she has a child the same age as mine and a partner who works away and would like for us to be suppports to each other. She lives in Macclesfield and I love rambling, so the Peaks appeal... although a lot of cloudy grey weather does not!!! lol

 

Environmentally, the Hawkesbury is absolutely lovely - fields, blue mountains backdrop, historical areas, and my daughter is in a lovely school, but I still miss the UK, and have found it perpetually lonely here (being a single parent doesn't help), have found Aussies more materialistic than English people, the value system different (ie value work and money over education and culture) and have also found an enduring, if subtle, anti English sentiment. Significantly, I also find Sydney (perhaps the whole of Aus?) quite a bit 'harder' than the UK, and the sense that you have to be tough to succeed, and you do it tough without talking about it.

 

I miss European culture and sophistication, and have found the English to be more open, conversationally, less superficial and in general have more to talk about.... I also wonder if there is less of a 'single parent' stigma, which I have found a bit here.

 

My family are very tricky and weren't at all helpful when I needed their support, but have helped a lot financially over the years, and would like me and their granddaughter to return. We wouldn't live near them, but a few hours away, for her to be able to visit and us to spend significant family occasions together... small doses kind of thing.

 

They are in their 70's and I am concerned about how I'll feel if/when they become unwell or age and I know they'll have missed seeing their graddaughter, and I'll have missed time with them. Dysfunctional though they are, they are still my parents and I enjoy them in v small doses.

 

My questions to you all are: Can anyone relate to being alone here (especially with a child) and did that drive you back and were you glad you made that choice?

 

Do you share my perceptions of Australian culture/life/making friends?

 

To those who have returned - did you feel more 'at home' and like you belonged? I have always felt a bit 'alien' here, and I have to say I was not particularly made welcome in my first office environment....

 

How important is the impact of cultural sameness and old friendships?

 

And any reflections on what I have written would be gratefully received!!!

 

Many thanks.....:wink:

[Guest The Pom Queen]

I am opposite to you as I have no desire to return to the UK but reading your situation it sounds like it may be a good move for you. However, have you been back since you first arrived? It may be that you are yearning for your old life and if you go back you will find things have moved on as have friends. I know you said you have a friend who wants you to return home but what if her husband comes back from working away and they decide to move. Would you be happy being on your own again?

How old is your daughter? Is she old enough to have a say in this and if so what does she think.

Does she have citizenship so in the future she always has an option to return, same for you.

If you haven't been back I would consider going back for a few months if work permits.

I do understand your thoughts on being an alien in Australia but I think that's us who over analyse things. If you just ignore it and push forward you will make some real good Aussie friends. They do have a different sense of humour to us. I'm one who is always sarcastic and joking but a few tend to take me serious so I have to explain it was said in jest but apart from that I give as good as I get.

[Sammy1]

Hello

 

I've been here 11 years this year (GULP), some of which have been VERY difficult, as I became a single mother with no family support and had bad PND. Having started out in Sydney for work, I moved further West, via the Dark Area of Boganville Blacktown (which is much nicer these days, I should add : ) ) and now live in the Hawkesbury. Partly due to my illness and changing work circumstances, the friends I do have (and I have a couple of reasonably good ones) I have only known for a couple of years, and have lost a lot along the way - I still feel like I'm in the process of 'starting up!!'.. I have a couple of old friends in England whom I miss, although am aware that people do change, and 11 years is a long time, although we've kept in touch. One of them has expressed she'd love it if I moved back, she has a child the same age as mine and a partner who works away and would like for us to be suppports to each other. She lives in Macclesfield and I love rambling, so the Peaks appeal... although a lot of cloudy grey weather does not!!! lol

 

Environmentally, the Hawkesbury is absolutely lovely - fields, blue mountains backdrop, historical areas, and my daughter is in a lovely school, but I still miss the UK, and have found it perpetually lonely here (being a single parent doesn't help), have found Aussies more materialistic than English people, the value system different (ie value work and money over education and culture) and have also found an enduring, if subtle, anti English sentiment. Significantly, I also find Sydney (perhaps the whole of Aus?) quite a bit 'harder' than the UK, and the sense that you have to be tough to succeed, and you do it tough without talking about it.

 

I miss European culture and sophistication, and have found the English to be more open, conversationally, less superficial and in general have more to talk about.... I also wonder if there is less of a 'single parent' stigma, which I have found a bit here.

 

My family are very tricky and weren't at all helpful when I needed their support, but have helped a lot financially over the years, and would like me and their granddaughter to return. We wouldn't live near them, but a few hours away, for her to be able to visit and us to spend significant family occasions together... small doses kind of thing.

 

They are in their 70's and I am concerned about how I'll feel if/when they become unwell or age and I know they'll have missed seeing their graddaughter, and I'll have missed time with them. Dysfunctional though they are, they are still my parents and I enjoy them in v small doses.

 

My questions to you all are: Can anyone relate to being alone here (especially with a child) and did that drive you back and were you glad you made that choice?

 

Do you share my perceptions of Australian culture/life/making friends?

 

To those who have returned - did you feel more 'at home' and like you belonged? I have always felt a bit 'alien' here, and I have to say I was not particularly made welcome in my first office environment....

 

How important is the impact of cultural sameness and old friendships?

 

And any reflections on what I have written would be gratefully received!!!

 

Many thanks.....:wink:

 

I can certainly relate to being alone here and bringing up my children completely without any family support. I would say that it is only in the last three years that Australia has finally become home.

 

Perhaps you should go back for six months and see how you feel?

 

However, if you daughter is younger than 18, you will need permission from the Father to relocate to the UK. My children are still young, so it is not an option.

[newjez]

Hello

 

I've been here 11 years this year (GULP), some of which have been VERY difficult, as I became a single mother with no family support and had bad PND. Having started out in Sydney for work, I moved further West, via the Dark Area of Boganville Blacktown (which is much nicer these days, I should add : ) ) and now live in the Hawkesbury. Partly due to my illness and changing work circumstances, the friends I do have (and I have a couple of reasonably good ones) I have only known for a couple of years, and have lost a lot along the way - I still feel like I'm in the process of 'starting up!!'.. I have a couple of old friends in England whom I miss, although am aware that people do change, and 11 years is a long time, although we've kept in touch. One of them has expressed she'd love it if I moved back, she has a child the same age as mine and a partner who works away and would like for us to be suppports to each other. She lives in Macclesfield and I love rambling, so the Peaks appeal... although a lot of cloudy grey weather does not!!! lol

 

Environmentally, the Hawkesbury is absolutely lovely - fields, blue mountains backdrop, historical areas, and my daughter is in a lovely school, but I still miss the UK, and have found it perpetually lonely here (being a single parent doesn't help), have found Aussies more materialistic than English people, the value system different (ie value work and money over education and culture) and have also found an enduring, if subtle, anti English sentiment. Significantly, I also find Sydney (perhaps the whole of Aus?) quite a bit 'harder' than the UK, and the sense that you have to be tough to succeed, and you do it tough without talking about it.

 

I miss European culture and sophistication, and have found the English to be more open, conversationally, less superficial and in general have more to talk about.... I also wonder if there is less of a 'single parent' stigma, which I have found a bit here.

 

My family are very tricky and weren't at all helpful when I needed their support, but have helped a lot financially over the years, and would like me and their granddaughter to return. We wouldn't live near them, but a few hours away, for her to be able to visit and us to spend significant family occasions together... small doses kind of thing.

 

They are in their 70's and I am concerned about how I'll feel if/when they become unwell or age and I know they'll have missed seeing their graddaughter, and I'll have missed time with them. Dysfunctional though they are, they are still my parents and I enjoy them in v small doses.

 

My questions to you all are: Can anyone relate to being alone here (especially with a child) and did that drive you back and were you glad you made that choice?

 

Do you share my perceptions of Australian culture/life/making friends?

 

To those who have returned - did you feel more 'at home' and like you belonged? I have always felt a bit 'alien' here, and I have to say I was not particularly made welcome in my first office environment....

 

How important is the impact of cultural sameness and old friendships?

 

And any reflections on what I have written would be gratefully received!!!

 

Many thanks.....:wink:

 

 

 

I get what you are saying, although many won't. Not about being a single parent, but the other.

 

 

Trouble is, you and your kids will be different again when you return to the UK, and some English can be as bad.

 

 

Careful you are not looking at the English with rose coloured glasses.

 

 

Best to isolate what it is you are looking for and why.

[Que Sera Sera]

Depression is a very serious illness and that in itself can cause you to view relationships completely different to how they actually are. It's not easy with depression to trust and open up to people and come across as being particularly friendly. Someone once said to me when I was in the depths of despair , whilst I was a divorced single Mum of two young ones that I was a glass half empty person and hard work to be around. Whislt this comment wasn't intended to be very helpful, more hurtful it did me the power of good and made me realise just how long I hadn't been myself. Be very careful it's not still depression that's motivation the move back and it's not this that's causing the itchy feet, also if there is the remoteness of chances that your depression in part may have been attributed to your dysfunctional parents then maybe moving back to have any form of relationship with them may not be the best way forward. Wishing you all the best for your future whichever place your life takes you too.

[Quoll]

You may not have a choice - your child's father will have a say about whether you can move out of the country or not. So getting that established might be your first step and all else would be moot.

 

I'm one of the ones for whom Australia was an alien land and once I crossed the coast at Southend I began to feel alive again and I continue to do so but my circumstances are very different from yours and my husband is beside me making a difficult situation here work. I wouldn't say that my family is dysfunctional but my mum was never the easiest of people to get along with and with dementia she's a nightmare - given a choice I would have given her a very wide berth lol.

 

I can say that I have found it very easy to make new friends - and for once in my life I feel like they are friends not just acquaintances, which is all I had after 30 odd years in Australia. Where we are in UK, too, I find a much stronger and encompassing sense of community than I ever did in Australia but I appreciate not everywhere is like that.

 

One thing that Australia has taught me is a kind of hardness and not to rely on anyone else for anything but to make my own way. In your shoes I am not sure that I would be relying on an old friend for huge amounts of support - returnees often find that friendships aren't the way they left them and that disappoints them (some of us are lucky with our friends on return however so it's luck of the draw!)

 

I tend to be quite pragmatic about these kind of decisions - do you have a good job, better than one you could get in UK? Have you got your citizenship? Do you have enough to cover a return of it all went pear shaped? Could you visit just to see if you feel like you are putting on old well worn slippers or your toes are pinching in new winklepickers?

 

I do know though that depression can be caused by being in the wrong place! Whilst I knew about exogenous depression in theory I never understood the impact it could have on your life until I got it - I used all sorts of CBT strategies for years just to help me get through each and every day and it was knackering to say the least. Removing myself from the situation was like a miracle! When I returned to Australia this year for a holiday I worked really hard to make sure I enjoyed every minute but there were times and places that when I let my guard down the old feelings of depression began to settle on my shoulders - that quite scared me actually because I have committed to return down the track and I thought I would be good with it as I won't have the guilt thing going on with leaving elderly parents. Situational depression is a very real beast unfortunately!

 

Good luck with whatever decision you make! Being a single parent is a tough gig!

[Rule Britannia]

I think that returning to the UK is a great choice, why wouldn't you.? It's a great country, the life, style, Food, Quality, and Europe a stone's throw away, Italy, France, Paris, Belgium, Italy, oh did I mention Italy, the food is just quality, the countryside in the UK is still picture perfect, the old villages, the Sunday Roast on the Sunday funny enough, there are soo many things to explore just in the UK , castles, museums, even though we pinched it from other countries (naughty) I know.

 

9 Years I've been ere! and done and dusted, I know so many other UK people who love it here, and I am happy for them, it's just taken me 9 years to work out it's just not my cup-o-tea thanks! we all have our thoughts and opions and that's great good luck to everyone, I too have done nothing but struggle here, financially, and well the job market, what job market, it's a nightmare currently, that's one of the main reasons i'm off, No one and I mean no one gets back to you, I am qualified and done the Uni thing, but here, it makes no difference in my view, i have mainly worked in Government and won't be doing that again in a hurry murry. and don't get me started on these so called real estate agenycs that run the properties which we rent (sold my home a few years ago) forward thing perhaps...who knows....I speka to a lot of people from the UK (hospitals) and most are leaving, they just can't afford it here, I went shopping the other day and was totally shocked as I usually am, when the bill cam to 30 bucks, I said I haven't bought anything...LOL it is very very expensive here in Perth, WA to live in general, and if you don't have a job well then it's goodnight from me and it's goodnite from him...(two ronnies)

 

And I just have to agree with all your other statements (they are totally true) quality that's what I am talking about I know I can't spell, but I am aware of it, I will say it first before anyone else does, perhaps that's why i'm not getting those jobs....LOL

 

NO seriously, I have worked from some top tier organisations here , but it makes no difference to any of my applications what so ever, In London it makes the world of difference and have gained work with the top Number one in the world in London because of it, so it does make a difference depending on which country you live....

 

Just make a list of all the Positives about Australia and be real in the process and then make another one about the UK and be real again and just mark down all the Positives about each country, this should help you in no uncertain terms which one you will pick...I have to say I have met a lot of English people over here in Perth adn when I tell them I am off back home, most of them say I am so jealous that your going back, you have one life you might as well live it...

 

I too am alone (with my two dogs, which i have to let go of) not by choice - but have found a better life for them, with an amazing family (Australian) the nicest people I have met and totally on my wave length and of course they have totally emphathetic to my cause and are highly intellectual just like moi....lol

[Johnny]

I echo what Rule Britannia says, UK for us at least, is a much better place in terms of location, job opportunities, culture, community, history, travel, climate, facilities, shops, activities, clubs etc, the list goes on.

[Marisawright]

I echo what Rule Britannia says, UK for us at least, is a much better place in terms of location, job opportunities, culture, community, history, travel, climate, facilities, shops, activities, clubs etc, the list goes on.

 

The funny thing is that when I was planning to return to the UK, I was looking forward to most of those things. Greater access to the arts and history, and European travel have turned out to be true. But you can't look at castles or travel to Europe every day, and I've found day-to-day living disappointing.

[movingback]

The funny thing is that when I was planning to return to the UK, I was looking forward to most of those things. Greater access to the arts and history, and European travel have turned out to be true. But you can't look at castles or travel to Europe every day, and I've found day-to-day living disappointing.

 

Disappointing in what way Marisa?

[bencrom81]

The funny thing is that when I was planning to return to the UK, I was looking forward to most of those things. Greater access to the arts and history, and European travel have turned out to be true. But you can't look at castles or travel to Europe every day, and I've found day-to-day living disappointing.

 

of course you cant look at castles or travel to Europe every day. people have normal lives to lead, which includes work, commuting, washing, ironing, hobbies, making dinner, washing the car, taking the kids to school.

pretty much like you cant go surfing, lie on the beach, scuba dive the great barrier reef, stroke a koala or take photos of ayers rock every day in oz.

 

people's expectations astound me these days. i'd like to see the shade of green of the grass most people on here believe exists.

[Rule Britannia]

Hello

 

I've been here 11 years this year (GULP), some of which have been VERY difficult, as I became a single mother with no family support and had bad PND. Having started out in Sydney for work, I moved further West, via the Dark Area of Boganville Blacktown (which is much nicer these days, I should add : ) ) and now live in the Hawkesbury. Partly due to my illness and changing work circumstances, the friends I do have (and I have a couple of reasonably good ones) I have only known for a couple of years, and have lost a lot along the way - I still feel like I'm in the process of 'starting up!!'.. I have a couple of old friends in England whom I miss, although am aware that people do change, and 11 years is a long time, although we've kept in touch. One of them has expressed she'd love it if I moved back, she has a child the same age as mine and a partner who works away and would like for us to be suppports to each other. She lives in Macclesfield and I love rambling, so the Peaks appeal... although a lot of cloudy grey weather does not!!! lol

 

Environmentally, the Hawkesbury is absolutely lovely - fields, blue mountains backdrop, historical areas, and my daughter is in a lovely school, but I still miss the UK, and have found it perpetually lonely here (being a single parent doesn't help), have found Aussies more materialistic than English people, the value system different (ie value work and money over education and culture) and have also found an enduring, if subtle, anti English sentiment. Significantly, I also find Sydney (perhaps the whole of Aus?) quite a bit 'harder' than the UK, and the sense that you have to be tough to succeed, and you do it tough without talking about it.

 

I miss European culture and sophistication, and have found the English to be more open, conversationally, less superficial and in general have more to talk about.... I also wonder if there is less of a 'single parent' stigma, which I have found a bit here.

 

My family are very tricky and weren't at all helpful when I needed their support, but have helped a lot financially over the years, and would like me and their granddaughter to return. We wouldn't live near them, but a few hours away, for her to be able to visit and us to spend significant family occasions together... small doses kind of thing.

 

They are in their 70's and I am concerned about how I'll feel if/when they become unwell or age and I know they'll have missed seeing their graddaughter, and I'll have missed time with them. Dysfunctional though they are, they are still my parents and I enjoy them in v small doses.

 

My questions to you all are: Can anyone relate to being alone here (especially with a child) and did that drive you back and were you glad you made that choice?

 

Do you share my perceptions of Australian culture/life/making friends?

 

To those who have returned - did you feel more 'at home' and like you belonged? I have always felt a bit 'alien' here, and I have to say I was not particularly made welcome in my first office environment....

 

How important is the impact of cultural sameness and old friendships?

 

And any reflections on what I have written would be gratefully received!!!

 

Many thanks.....:wink:

 

 

 

Yes but just think how much more advanced the UK is currently, or come to think of it Europe as a whole, we are the number one country in the world for Advancement, where as some countries ahem! are still living in the past by 30 years (don't get me wrong the UK has still got some work to do on certain issues)

[Guest]

Hello

 

I've been here 11 years this year (GULP), some of which have been VERY difficult, as I became a single mother with no family support and had bad PND. Having started out in Sydney for work, I moved further West, via the Dark Area of Boganville Blacktown (which is much nicer these days, I should add : ) ) and now live in the Hawkesbury. Partly due to my illness and changing work circumstances, the friends I do have (and I have a couple of reasonably good ones) I have only known for a couple of years, and have lost a lot along the way - I still feel like I'm in the process of 'starting up!!'.. I have a couple of old friends in England whom I miss, although am aware that people do change, and 11 years is a long time, although we've kept in touch. One of them has expressed she'd love it if I moved back, she has a child the same age as mine and a partner who works away and would like for us to be suppports to each other. She lives in Macclesfield and I love rambling, so the Peaks appeal... although a lot of cloudy grey weather does not!!! lol

 

Environmentally, the Hawkesbury is absolutely lovely - fields, blue mountains backdrop, historical areas, and my daughter is in a lovely school, but I still miss the UK, and have found it perpetually lonely here (being a single parent doesn't help), have found Aussies more materialistic than English people, the value system different (ie value work and money over education and culture) and have also found an enduring, if subtle, anti English sentiment. Significantly, I also find Sydney (perhaps the whole of Aus?) quite a bit 'harder' than the UK, and the sense that you have to be tough to succeed, and you do it tough without talking about it.

 

I miss European culture and sophistication, and have found the English to be more open, conversationally, less superficial and in general have more to talk about.... I also wonder if there is less of a 'single parent' stigma, which I have found a bit here.

 

My family are very tricky and weren't at all helpful when I needed their support, but have helped a lot financially over the years, and would like me and their granddaughter to return. We wouldn't live near them, but a few hours away, for her to be able to visit and us to spend significant family occasions together... small doses kind of thing.

 

They are in their 70's and I am concerned about how I'll feel if/when they become unwell or age and I know they'll have missed seeing their graddaughter, and I'll have missed time with them. Dysfunctional though they are, they are still my parents and I enjoy them in v small doses.

 

My questions to you all are: Can anyone relate to being alone here (especially with a child) and did that drive you back and were you glad you made that choice?

 

Do you share my perceptions of Australian culture/life/making friends?

 

To those who have returned - did you feel more 'at home' and like you belonged? I have always felt a bit 'alien' here, and I have to say I was not particularly made welcome in my first office environment....

 

How important is the impact of cultural sameness and old friendships?

 

And any reflections on what I have written would be gratefully received!!!

 

Many thanks.....:wink:

 

 

 

I definitely know how you feel, although I've only been in Australia for a couple of months. One thing I really miss about the UK is the culture and the ease with which you can escape to Europe and other cultures. And I have to say that I too have experienced a very subtle anti-English sentiment, well actually I think that extends to all immigrants not just the English. I haven't found that the Aussies are as inclusive as they like to think they are.... funnily enough I heard Malcolm Turnbull speak on the news this morning to say that Australia is the most welcoming and culturally inclusive country in the world... well I nearly spat out my tea!!!

 

I take a lot of umbrage to a lot of things in this country: the job market is a joke, applying for jobs is near-on impossible and employers do not look at transferable skills - you either have the precise and exact experience that they are looking for or you're not even considered, the cost of many things is - in my opinion - more expensive than London, and whilst I have found many lovely people there are also a whole bunch of knobs (although there are definitely more in London).

 

If you miss the UK, then I would definitely recommend a trip back. Weigh it up as it's likely to have changed a lot since you left and it might not be like the place you remember - the grass isn't always greener (although literally speaking it definitely will be in England!) and I would speak to your daughter about it as well. If she's lived here her whole life, I imagine that she'll be extremely hesitant about leaving what she regards as her home.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and be sure to update us!

[ali]

I can't relate to what you've said as i'm not alone, i'm content here and I have made friendships that have become more meaningful than those I've had previously. I do agree with what some of the others have said and particularly Quoll about being pragmatic. I think this is one of the times that that initially you need to think with your head and not your heart in sorting out any practical things, with the first being if your ex will let you remove your child from the country. If he says yes - think about where it is you want to live, where the job prospects are etc.. My brother lives in QLD whilst we live in WA - when we made the choice to move here, we chose the place that we wanted to be - the reality was that we could have arrived to be near my brother and he moved - whilst your friend may be supportive, their circumstances may change and you may find yourself in a position more isolating than the one you're in now.

 

Good luck - I hope you find what you need to feel alive again.

[flag of convenience]

Yes but just think how much more advanced the UK is currently, or come to think of it Europe as a whole, we are the number one country in the world for Advancement, where as some countries ahem! are still living in the past by 30 years (don't get me wrong the UK has still got some work to do on certain issues)

 

Advancement in what exactly? Certainly not the reduction of poverty or the reduction of early deaths within the ranks of the proletariat. I suppose if increasing shallowness and greater ostentatious displays of wealth, especially in London and the South regions points the direction of some to advancement ....all rather sad.

[flag of convenience]

I definitely know how you feel, although I've only been in Australia for a couple of months. One thing I really miss about the UK is the culture and the ease with which you can escape to Europe and other cultures. And I have to say that I too have experienced a very subtle anti-English sentiment, well actually I think that extends to all immigrants not just the English. I haven't found that the Aussies are as inclusive as they like to think they are.... funnily enough I heard Malcolm Turnbull speak on the news this morning to say that Australia is the most welcoming and culturally inclusive country in the world... well I nearly spat out my tea!!!

 

I take a lot of umbrage to a lot of things in this country: the job market is a joke, applying for jobs is near-on impossible and employers do not look at transferable skills - you either have the precise and exact experience that they are looking for or you're not even considered, the cost of many things is - in my opinion - more expensive than London, and whilst I have found many lovely people there are also a whole bunch of knobs (although there are definitely more in London).

 

If you miss the UK, then I would definitely recommend a trip back. Weigh it up as it's likely to have changed a lot since you left and it might not be like the place you remember - the grass isn't always greener (although literally speaking it definitely will be in England!) and I would speak to your daughter about it as well. If she's lived here her whole life, I imagine that she'll be extremely hesitant about leaving what she regards as her home.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and be sure to update us!

 

Quite simply Aussies are not at all inclusive. Not by any means. Being rather private and family orientated people that by and large keep themselves to themselves with occasional outside interactions rather controlled at that, it can be hard work to break through.

 

I do not detect especially any anti English sentiment, but others are best to comment on personal experiences as thus. There may be a general low key sentiment towards all not quite alike them thus an aloofness can exist but hardly unique to the Australian mindset.

 

There is a shallowness that accompanies the times that exists in both countries. I'm not sure I'd make too much out of the 'people differences'

though obviously some points remain.

 

The outrageous costs that have become Australia, is something very concerning. As is the numbers that appear to take it in their stride while leveraged up to the hilt. This has greatly reduced the quality of life in Australia and will further do so.

I don't regard Britain though too be better. Australia has just caught up in cost and increased divisions in society.

[flag of convenience]

of course you cant look at castles or travel to Europe every day. people have normal lives to lead, which includes work, commuting, washing, ironing, hobbies, making dinner, washing the car, taking the kids to school.

pretty much like you cant go surfing, lie on the beach, scuba dive the great barrier reef, stroke a koala or take photos of ayers rock every day in oz.

 

people's expectations astound me these days. i'd like to see the shade of green of the grass most people on here believe exists.

 

No but you can work away from where you live with ease. With a little effort it is not hard to move across to where the real action is The Continent. Where there you can surf, and do a million things not as readily available in Australia, if living in the right locations and are an urban minded person that doesn't need to know what is around the corner.

[Sassy Duck]

The funny thing is that when I was planning to return to the UK, I was looking forward to most of those things. Greater access to the arts and history, and European travel have turned out to be true. But you can't look at castles or travel to Europe every day, and I've found day-to-day living disappointing.

 

Totally agree.

[bencrom81]

yes I agree. I'm moving back soon after I grab my citizenship but it really surprises me how many people cannot hack living abroad.

 

I really believe some people aren't mentally strong enough to pursue adventure away from the comforts of home, family and familiarity. when the first thing goes wrong, they claim they are missing the smell of their nans kitchen or their cousins dog. all excuses that are rather lame. if you want to go, just go! if you are unsure, accept things will get tough and no, Australia doesn't owe you a living, a nice car, a swimming pool or cheap groceries.

 

ive been here seven years and lived in gorgeous waterfront apartments with girlfriends, then lost it all and had a suitcase next to a mates sofa and beans on toast for a few weeks whilst I pieced myself together. ive missed weddings, lost family members and been absent from loads of family and friends events and milestones. ive also learned here that life can get really hard and learning to deal with it on my own and depending on myself has given me the confidence and knowledge to tackle the next step at home..

 

what I would never have considered is bailing when the chips are down then blaming small stuff. maybe not the right place for this, but some people need telling.

[Rule Britannia]

Well I've been fortunate to have lived in 4 different countries and traveled the world, I have spent 9 years giving it my best shot here in Perth, and I for one am in no way a person who would call it quits over a slight hurdle in life, I get on with it, but when you know the economy is up the swanny and your not enjoying where you are living sometimes in life it's good to know when to call it a day. (that's just my perception of it currently) I think it is all about a number of issues, the Economy, the Employment status, the cost of living ect ect ect.

[Lizhawkes]

Hi Sammy1 - I hope I've replied properly ! LOL I haven't posted on a forum for ages!

 

My daughter's father left Aus for his family of origin in New Zealand when she was 6 months old, and has seen her only 4 times since. I don't feel like I have to involve him! We don't have a parenting arrangement but I have read in cases such as these, there is little chance of difficulty.

 

I am hoping to go back for three months at the end of this year - to get a realistic picture of life, ie at the worst possible weather time! And take it from there....

 

I was just wanting to 'check out' other's views and perceptions, as mine may have become altered by circumstance!

Thanks for your reply...

[Lizhawkes]

Depression is a very serious illness and that in itself can cause you to view relationships completely different to how they actually are. It's not easy with depression to trust and open up to people and come across as being particularly friendly. Someone once said to me when I was in the depths of despair , whilst I was a divorced single Mum of two young ones that I was a glass half empty person and hard work to be around. Whislt this comment wasn't intended to be very helpful, more hurtful it did me the power of good and made me realise just how long I hadn't been myself. Be very careful it's not still depression that's motivation the move back and it's not this that's causing the itchy feet, also if there is the remoteness of chances that your depression in part may have been attributed to your dysfunctional parents then maybe moving back to have any form of relationship with them may not be the best way forward. Wishing you all the best for your future whichever place your life takes you too.

 

No, I'm not depressed any more - which is why I can think clearly, at last, about the future! And why I am aware of the importance of a balanced approach to things... I'm pretty good, I enjoy where we live, I'm working, I do some great stuff outdoors which I love... but I just don't feel at home... like I've been on holiday too long! And miss proper friends...

 

Thanks for taking the time to reply....

[Lizhawkes]

yes I agree. I'm moving back soon after I grab my citizenship but it really surprises me how many people cannot hack living abroad.

 

I really believe some people aren't mentally strong enough to pursue adventure away from the comforts of home, family and familiarity. when the first thing goes wrong, they claim they are missing the smell of their nans kitchen or their cousins dog. all excuses that are rather lame. if you want to go, just go! if you are unsure, accept things will get tough and no, Australia doesn't owe you a living, a nice car, a swimming pool or cheap groceries.

 

ive been here seven years and lived in gorgeous waterfront apartments with girlfriends, then lost it all and had a suitcase next to a mates sofa and beans on toast for a few weeks whilst I pieced myself together. ive missed weddings, lost family members and been absent from loads of family and friends events and milestones. ive also learned here that life can get really hard and learning to deal with it on my own and depending on myself has given me the confidence and knowledge to tackle the next step at home..

 

what I would never have considered is bailing when the chips are down then blaming small stuff. maybe not the right place for this, but some people need telling.

 

I can't really see the point of this post - were you trying to be helpful? Who, for example 'needs telling'?

 

You're moving back yourself, so why be critical of others who want to...

You don't know the depths of people's difficulties, the complexity of their dilemmas or their experiences - for example how bad things may have been for some, and how they've weathered it out for a long time before deciding to return to the UK. Try not to be so critical - you may need helpful advice on this site at some point.!